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complete honesty is probably a mistake unless you are a true saint and have nothing to cover up i m in one of those situations currently i was given a journal book called a father s legacy j countryman publishing by a family member the idea is a cool one answer the questions about your own life in the book and then give it to your child children so they can have a lasting memoir to keep it will require some work thanks a million luke but i acknowledge this is a good idea another good idea would be to utilize a modicum of care in how i answer some of these questions this book is meant for my child or children if more come along in the future and could very easily get passed down to their children and so on and so on it will be important to be truthful of course but it may be wise to keep some true things about my past to myself how fun would it be though to answer some of the questions in any way that i wanted to answer them luckily i have this blog space to do just that i can save my more fatherly answers for the book from the childhood section of the book did you enjoy reading as a boy my book answer will of course praise the merits of reading and refer to the joys of having the monster at the end of this book read to me by my mother and enjoying charlotte s web on my own this is all true but let s get to the nitty gritty i will never forget reading the sex advice column in the playboy magazine that i stole when i was about 12 i was not the type to steal and other than the magazine i think i stole a piece of hard candy once and that was about the extent of my pilfering i stole the magazine because at least back then they didn t allow 12 year olds to buy playboy and suzanne somers was in that particular edition i had seen three s company and i couldn t resist back to the sex advice what red blooded boy at that age would not be mesmerized awed and possibly a bit overwhelmed reading advice about extra marital affairs or understanding female orgasms i had the feeling that i was partway in heaven and partway in hell hiding in the garage reading those pages plus suzanne somers was hot so i can honestly say yes i enjoyed reading as a boy from the family life section of the book in what ways are you like your father the book answer will include that i am funny and determined and that i believe in god which are all things that my dad role modeled he was a good man these things are true but like any man my late father had his own issues unfortunately i may have inherited one or two or twenty of them so what s the real answer i can be as stubborn as an ass just like him i don t like to lose any argument and therefore can be an infuriating person i tend to scoff at the stupid things people do which can make me a bit judgmental i m guessing that my kids when old enough to understand the book will know these things about their dad without me having to write them down speaking of similarities between myself and my dad let me mention one way in which i am not similar why can t i hit a golf ball the way my dad could i don t enjoy the game but i probably would if i could master the course the way he did from the education section what did you learn in high school i m sure my book answer will touch on many things regarding responsibility and self reliance blah blah blah but here my honest answer is this i quickly learned there was a perfect spot on the first floor of the gym where at lunch time one could stand and be positioned directly below the railing on the 2nd floor of the gym where cute girls often gathered to socialize and lean against said rail why was this significant keep in mind i attended a catholic high school where many of the girls wore those plaid uniform skirts that s right in just the right spot a perverted young male could see up those skirts on the 2nd floor in my defense not that there really is one i was certainly not the only male aware of this and looking back i m pretty sure some of the girls knew too this was vital information and made lunch time so much more fun maybe actually going up to the girls and talking to them would have been fun as well but this seemed preposterous and impossible for me during my first couple of years is there something you wish you would have done in high school yes keri and christine preferably at the same time from the love and marriage section what qualities first attracted you to your wife this is the easiest question to answer both truthfully and in book appropriate fashion we worked together i was impressed with my wife s intelligence motivation to succeed class and humor right off the bat it s difficult not to be impressed with her and if you ve read her blog you already know what i mean i may leave out two things from my book answer though i still remember those two things from our days working together as though they happened just yesterday one is a particular time i came across her in a narrow hallway while she was making copies she smiled and said hi we weren t dating yet she was wearing a skirt and as i passed closely by her remember it was narrow i was stunned by how beautiful her legs looked the other time was when a discussion broke out amongst several co workers about working out playing sports flexibility etc my future wife decided to demonstrate her flexibility by bending completely over and easily touching her toes i believe this happened on a casual dress day when she was wearing jeans the incident affected me in ways i really couldn t describe here really what do you think is most important in maintaining a healthy marriage the book answer will include important things like trust and commitment my real answer here being willing to help her with blog wording and titles and recording sporting events to watch later when she s gone to bed instead of trying to watch them when she s awake from the parenting section what has been the greatest challenge of being a father my three year old daughter is great and is a nearly constant source of smiles and happiness that is very very true however if i were to answer this question with nothing but the truth i would have to say it s a challenge to remember those smiling times and to keep my cool when she decides it s time to climb something inappropriate in a store say a display of breakable items it s usually at this time when she is very good at calling bluffs when you have a cart full of items that you really need to purchase or at least think that you do and you warn her that you re going to take her immediately home and give her a time out if she doesn t listen she knows that you re not really going to do that that s when she looks you straight in the eye and defiantly pronounces i want to go home i want a time out this eventually leads to an all out screaming public fit in which she does the kid universal turn her whole body into deadweight jelly when you try to pick her up off the floor while you get disapproving glances from non parents i get a little angry just thinking about it probably time to move on to the next question from the celebrations section do you remember particularly special birthday gifts you received hey i got some cool stuff as a kid like the rock em sock em robots or the miner 2049er game for my atari system i ll probably put those down in the book however i can t help but also remember some of the items of clothing that my mother bless her heart made for me she was great at crafty things like that and it helped out the family financially whenever she made clothes instead of buying them the problem is they weren t always the coolest styles you can see one of the outfits in a horrific picture buried deep in this post from the life events section has there been a political event in your lifetime that made a strong impression on you yes the watergate scandal i could write in the book how i learned that politicians are not always looking out for us and how the media serves as a sort of watchdog for us in reality though what i really remember about that time was how mad i was that it was the only thing on tv all day for what seemed like an eternity there was no cable at that time we had the three networks and pbs i needed my cartoons man all of the shows i cared about were preempted for the watergate hearings every time i turned on a tv at least it made me get out and play more i was already the type of kid who liked to play outside but it was nice to have a little mindless tv time now and then what kid would rather see the face of john dean instead of bugs bunny or batman exactly from the inspiration section who were your role models when you were young i m going to have to write about teachers and my parents in the book and they certainly were role models however the truth would also include fonzie rockers like the dudes from night ranger or the scorpions and maybe since i loved scary movies someone like jason voorhees i think i ll leave these out of the book so i don t make my kids think that i m a leather jacket wearing druggie who sticks axes in people yeah i ll stick with the parents teachers answer the more i think about my playboy stealing scary movie loving skirt looking up batman watching days the more i wonder if i really should be parenting anyone then again my daughter seems to be doing amazingly well in spite of my shortcomings have to give my wife credit there maybe this whole journal book idea to give to your kids was someone s idea of a sick joke comments 17 comments tags bad birthday gifts journals miner 2049er suzanne somers in playboy the fonz watergate categories books children family high school humor humour kids life love marriage parenting personal sex re imaging the cosmetic surgery of horror films 24 07 2008 remember when movie re dos were called remakes at some point some relatively smart person in hollywood decided that term wasn t sexy enough to lure hoards of people to high priced cinemas for a new version of a movie they had already seen hence the term re imaging was born before some nerdy film student at ucla chides me for not pointing out the supposed difference between remaking and re imaging let me include the official line that re imaging is slightly different because it means the new film has at least some variance from the original film there i wrote it hollywood is saying this one is different i promise come see it twice now let me point out that i am also relatively smart and i call your bluff hollywood and geeky hollywood hopefuls who go to ucla in the hopes of meeting reese witherspoon or ryan gosling some day re imaging may sound really really cool but it s still a remake remakes re imaged films are not necessarily a bad thing but did we really need a new term in some cases re imaging is good for example someone needs to tell a rod that he is allegedly dating an original in madonna apparently he is unaware of re imaged versions like shakira or carrie underwood then again maybe he prefers old classic movies like 1954 s creature from the black lagoon which is scheduled to come out as a remake in 2009 fine i won t say remakes any more remakes oops that was the last one i promise on to the point horror films have always held a special albeit deranged place in my heart i loved them during my teen years my wife tries to pretend this is not true but sadly it is many of these films have been or are in the process of being re imaged my big three from that era halloween 1978 friday the 13th 1980 and a nightmare on elm street 1984 are no exceptions a part of me is excited to see new life breathed into the main characters who chased me in my childhood nightmares michael jason and freddy i recently viewed rob zombie s re imaging of halloween overall it was fun to see a new and more in depth take on the past of michael myers and why he snapped there were definitely some scares and it was cool that danielle harris was cast in it she was great in halloween 4 and halloween 5 when she was a kid and single handedly kept them from being crappy sequels in the end though the new version had just a few too many white trash characters in it to be thoroughly enjoyable word on the street that s my cute way of saying i surfed the internet for information as there is no real word on the street in my little midwestern town that isn t about the weather or the price of gas is that there are talks about re imaging a nightmare on elm street on february 13 2009 the re imaged friday the 13th is scheduled to hit the theaters talk about pressure to finish production on time can you imagine if this film s opening had to be pushed back a couple weeks opening on friday the 27th of february doesn t quite pack the same punch interestingly jared padalecki yes ladies cute little dean from the gilmore girls is in it after new versions of the big three come out what s next sure they could re image children of the corn and have it take place in an experimental hybrid corn field or they could re do the lost boys with some brand new coreys i m pretty sure they won t be re imaging a terrible horror film originally from spain i saw back then with the english title edge of the axe there s 99 cents i wish i had back from the video store ouch i have a different suggestion i think they should take non horror films of the 80s and re image them into new horror versions that way it really would be a whole new take on a old film crazy you say stupid worse idea than a chia toupee ah you lack vision just think of this field of screams yes field of dreams turned into a scary movie instead of shoeless joe coming out of the corn it would be skinless joe he d fly out of the corn hybrid corn of course to haunt you and to let you know that your dead father never really loved you and always thought you were a failure now that would cause some nightmares maybe danielle harris could play the wife of the sap who builds the baseball field she s cuter than the original actress if you build it they will kill how about stand by me turning into stabbed by me who would have blamed the fat kid if he d gone nuts after seeing the dead body who wouldn t have cheered him on if he d donned a hockey mask and killed off corey feldman s character did you love e t as a child well you might have different memories after seeing e t t the extra terrifying terrestrial when his fingertip lights up you know he s going to kill don t offer him any reese s pieces unless you want to end up in resting in pieces yeah he phones home all right to tell them to send more chainsaws ferris bueller s day off more like ferris bueller s head s off what would be scarier than having ben stein reprise his role but this time as a teacher who has been pushed too far and loses it picture a dark alley at night with ferris trapped against a brick wall here comes stein s character with an axe dully repeating bueller bueller anyone scary they could easily turn raising arizona into maiming arizona a clueless couple in want of a child kidnaps a baby from a family who seems...