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d for that here i am 8 years masya allah already coming from a background when one s own parents had their divorce for the third and final time when their eldest child was eight 8 years is a feat alhamdulillah we ve gone through ups and downs but there was one incident this year that got us shook up i guess it s true love will be tested even in the sturdiest marriage you know how life is it can be like a teacher who from time to time puts us through tests and exams and when we pass those tests and exams we found ourselves achieving new levels of understanding the same goes with marriage there ll be tests every now and then and hopefully when we pass those tests we will also achieve new level of understanding and benefit from that to become better and stronger i was so saddened when ayah with tears in his eyes actually apologised to me i m sorry i made a bad choice for you ayah felt guilty because like i ve explained before hubby and i were introduced by a family friend ayah s ustaz both ayah and mak were already keen on the prospect of having hubby as their son in law when i was pretty much still feeling blasé about getting married but as it happened we did istikharah some soul searching and it didn t take long for hubby and i to agree to get married after the initial introduction for ayah to feel that he should be blamed should anything went wrong with our marriage it s just simply wrong it s not your fault you didn t forced me to marry him i married him out of my own free will i tried to reassure ayah yes but it was ayah and mak who chose him in the first place and you just went along with our choice there was no words to console ayah i found myself in tears because being a parent myself i could imagine if it s possible my parents would have taken my burden of pain and bear it for me but they could not they could could only make a lot of doa and give us lots of blessings so that allah will make it easier for us in the first place hubby and i did not marry each other purely out of love for ourselves in the first place we married each other because we believed that allah has given us jodoh together and we got married because of him since we married because of him when in trouble we returned back to him in finding the root cause of the trouble that plagued our marriage and alhamdulillah i believe that we have overcame that test we are both humans with weaknesses we are both humans that need reminders from time to time to correct our mistakes to improve ourselves when we were tested we tried to look for common grounds that could bridge the gap between us we do love each other we do want to raise our kids together and we do want to be together and try to make our holy matrimony bond last till jannah insya allah all these hopes and wants mean we have to commit ourselves to it apologies and forgiveness were exchanged regrets and repents were accepted promises were made changes were vital and so we try to move forward and fall in love with each other again because after all a successful marriage requires falling in love over and over again always with the same person alhamdulillah i tuned in to ikim fm that monday afternoon after work and on the way to pick the kids from the nursery ustaz pahrol mohd juoi was on air in the mukmin profesional slot dua prasyarat untuk mendapat jodoh yang baik pertama jadilah orang yang baik insyaallah akan dapat jodoh yang baik kedua ikutlah pilihan orang yang baik baik insyaallah jodoh itu jodoh yang baik i was stunned okay it was nothing new but at that moment i knew exactly what i needed to convince my parents to stop them from feeling guilty for making hubby our pilihan bersama as my spouse i know my husband and despite all our differences and weaknesses and all i m convinced that he is a jodoh yang baik i know my parents and despite all our differences and arguments and all i m convinced that they are orang yang baik baik hence i believe that hubby is indeed a jodoh yang baik because he was the choice of my parents people i believe to be orang yang baik baik insya allah it was past midnight when i awoke in an empty bed i went downstairs there he was on the couch baby aqil sprawled asleep in front of him and 3 year old asim asleep on the sofa next to the couch akif and huzaifah were still awake intently playing game on either ayah s or ibu s phone i walked purposely towards the couch took his hand raised it and kissed it then i kissed his face both the cheeks and the forehead tahu tak kenapa i queried wondering whether or not he still remember our wedding anniversary eight years on four boys two miscarriages and all tahu kahwin i grinned alhamdulillah he might not be a romantic but he remembers that should count for something here s making lots of doa that we will be blessed by allah in our joining that we will be the qurratul a yun for each other and that we will grow old together be with each other always from earth till jannah insya allah i love you abang posted by a z haida at 1 45 pm 2 comments thursday may 10 2012 3 years left to still be in my 30s insya allah i missed writing an entry on my birthday last year and since i cannot recall what it was like last year i thought i d better write an entry this year a birthday is a good day to reflect on the past and it s easier to reflect when you have some previous notes rather than nothing at all i watched the first half of kuch kuch hota hai for maybe the 12th time last night but as it reached midnight i thought to myself that with just 3 more years to go before i reach the big 4 0 i might want to consider doing something more valuable than re watching a hindi movie on love and friendship so i hit the bed ha ha but having a 10 going 11 month old baby means one won t be getting a long uninterrupted sleep and baby aqil s sleep last night was full of interruptions it took quite long for him to fall back to sleep last night and i must thank pak ostad for being thoughtful enough to spend some time to coax baby aqil back to sleep which i must add not a usual occurance but for which i am thankful anyway after i was too tired to do iton my own alhamdulillah i am thankful for all that is good in my life family friends career and all i have four children now boys aged 7 5 3 and a baby who is going to turn 1 next month insya allah four sweet boys who could be boisterous energetic over active kids who drive me nuts at times but who during their tender moments just make my heart melt yes we mothers are weak like that we might yell nag scold as part of the intention to teach educate discipline coach mentor but our heart melt by little things like a rongak smile from a boy who s waiting for his new adult teeth to grow or a baby smile with newly formed 4 upper teeth and 2 lower teeth or a tight hug from a five year old who had just recently been diagnosed as being in the autism spectrum disorder and a thank you ibu instead of a thank you abu from a still pelat three year old i am still trying to figure out how to be a good mother not an easy task and still a work in progess and i think it s going to be a lifelong work in progress because new tips and tricks keep coming in as i keep growing up with the kids and catering to their different needs and wants i have a husband who is considerate enough to share the household chores now that we are maidless for a year it didn t happen overnight but slowly and gradually things started to change alhamdulillah being maidless was really difficult the first few months when one still doesn t have the hang of it but now we have gone through the routine for a year now it s almost a blessing in disguise because for one i think it has helped hubby and i to bond better with the kids and with each other i could usually rely on pak ostad to handle the laundry now or at least the washing and hanging the clothes to dry we continuously have mountains of clothes to be folded and ironed but at least they are all clean and i am really thankful that he is not a fussy eater it s acceptable to have plain white rice with some instant fried chicken or bbq chicken that could be cooked using the air fryer plus a vegetable dish i am still trying to be a good wife and i am glad to note that pak ostad too is trying to be a good husband and father to our children after all good relationships marriages families don t just happen they take time patience and commitment from all parties involved all with allah s blessings of course i am in a good office with a really down to earth big boss that one can really look up to and an understanding supervisor who allow me to take quite regular time outs now that humaidi needs to go for his occupational therapy sessions paediatric appointments psychiatrist appointments not to mention the occassional time outs a typical mother with young children need for visits to the clinic meeting with the school teacher this and that but i am not worried to leave the office every now and then because alhamdulillah i have good subordinates who get along well with each other and work great as a team that i can rely on to produce results i am blessed with many good friends and relatives and one of the best things about birthdays is the realisation that you are being remembered by those who genuinely like and love you which cause you to wear goofy grins all day long as you read all those incoming warm messages posted on your fb wall or messages sent via phone or e mail thank you all thank you allah i seek your forgiveness for all my sins and wrongdoings i am only a dhaif servant of yours but you have given me so much in life that i could never thank you enough subhanallah alhamdulillah la ilaha illallah allahu akbar posted by a z haida at 11 55 am 3 comments thursday march 08 2012 aisatsu assalamualaikum konnichiwa hello all of the above are words used to greet in the case of salam it goes further to be a prayer for the receiver when i was in japan there was an emphasis on aisatsu greetings classmates loudly greet ohayo as they fill in the classroom neighbours smile and say konnichiwa as we briefly pass each other on the corridor customers are welcomed with loud irrashaimase every time we enter a shop or restaurant now that i m back in malaysia i can honestly say that one of the things i miss a lot was the cheerful greeting it s just not in our culture that somebody will quickly and cheerfully greet selamat datang as we enter a shop or restaurant at times it might take ages just to wait for somebody to bring the menu to our table it s a culture for teachers in japan to meet and greet the students at the school gate i remember reading a japanese board book to huzaifah on going to the kindergarten which ended with the kid in the book happily greeted his smiling teacher ohayo gozaimas at the kindy s gate now i ve heard of a new circular asking teachers in malaysia to do the same among other things listed as amalan guru penyayang which i personally think is great but unfortunately based on some postings on blogs and fb many malaysian teachers feel as melampau what puzzled me more is that some teachers even went further to claim that it s because they love the students that they scream punish pinch the students and now they are being asked to greet the students to wish happy birthday to straighten the students neck tie help closing a missed button hole and other unimaginable things spelled out in the loving teacher circular well i don t know about others i personally don t mind a teacher correcting my son at school by handing out appropriate punishment but i also don t expect a teacher claiming that the way for them to show love for the school children is by screaming at them punishing them pinching them all in the name of educating the kids and stop at that where s the warmth of a teacher what is wrong with greeting the students at the gate why should it be considered melampau to wish the kids happy birthday what is wrong with teachers smiling warmly and openly at the students one of the things i d always enjoyed witnessing in japan was watching teachers walking with their young students in parks the students would take turn asking the teachers this and that questions which would be patiently answered by the teachers anyone could witness the atmosphere of warmth and friendliness the obvious camaraderie among them something that i ve yet to witness in a malaysian government school i think we should go back to basic in dealing with kids children learn what they live chances are a child who often gets a gentle touch and smiles would grow up to be different than a child who always get screamed at and stern looks all the time the adult actions give a massive impact to the brain development of the child that s why we have been reminded that it s up to the parents to determine the colours of their children who had been born a clean white sheet i feel it s a pity that teachers are feeling burdened by being asked to execute the loving teacher circular teachers all over the world are doing exactly what is being spelled out in the circular voluntarily parents who send their children to public schools in japan australia uk to name a few would be able to confirm that yes their children are met and greeted daily at the school gate that kids get to celebrate their birthday in school with their classmates during monthly parties that teachers become not only their coach mentor counsellor but also to an extent the children s friend it might all started with just a warm friendly greeting but in the long term it might be valued more than we realize it might be just easier to persuade kids to love going to school from a young age because they feel really welcomed and appreciated at school oh and while at that every smile that accompany a teacher s greeting in the morning could be one of his her earliest sadaqah of the day and as sadaqah it means a smile would never be in vain even if it returned by a sulk or surly look posted by a z haida at 1 54 pm 2 comments labels chicken soup for the soul life this and that thursday january 05 2012 akif humaidi s first 2 days at kindy day 1 oh so excited tengok ibu oh cantiknya baju new shirt new pants new socks used pair of shoes though hands me down from abang ujai ibu akif nak pergi sekolah akif nak berjaya ibu was pleasantly surprised by the declaration and made a quick do a that he will grow up as a success in both dunya wal akhirah class was a bit chaotic but we found a place for him immediately saw a box of lego and started playing which prompted others in the class to also join him playing i left when the situation looked to be a little more in control and the kindy s grille was closed security is a major concern when akif is known to have gone wandering on his own when i picked him after work he was crying apparently he had gone out of the classroom twice oh dear once when the students who are only attending the morning session went home in the midst of them akif went out on his own and went ...