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Text of the page (random words):
n the workbench the crumpled foil around them creating an effect like a shattered mirror i see the spherical rows of sungolds sitting on the table and the way that if i stand at the right angle they form a scalloped pattern when i cut the tomatoes open salt them and let them sit i see the way light catches in the water that comes to their surface lending them a sheen like summer skin i find so much more beauty in food now i have to capture it all time passes i look at the photos on my phone and i remember how it felt to be in that kitchen taking that picture i say that kitchen and not the kitchen because it like me lives and changes so often we talk about the act of taking pictures as pulling us out of moments living our lives on the phone instead of in real life but the act of taking pictures of my food does the opposite for me it helps me live in the moment by making me pause and acknowledge what s there instead of quickly moving along sometimes the moment is that i enjoyed a bite of food so much that i needed to stop and commit to some sort of permanence the beauty of its cross section three photos taken at different times on the same day the light teaches me how fleeting these moments are the kitchen looks so different over the course of one day one morning looks so different from the next if i have any regrets from my 20s it s that i didn t document enough i especially didn t document enough of the mundane the sunsets outside the kitchen window that turned somerville triple deckers into silhouettes the rare occasions i treated myself to farmers market arugula or fancy whole foods fake meat the first time i tried to sear scallops a birthday treat i can recall the contours of these years but i struggle to remember how the day to day felt i never realized that one day i might feel wistful about even the dank little allston kitchen its dishwasher overtaken by mice i wish i had seen the scenes that were there even if they didn t look pretty to me at the time now my recollections of those days are filtered through the corrective lens of the time since it s all smoothed out overarching narrative no real life texture living in this kitchen has taught me that if i am always noticing i might be able to forever preserve the way the sun pokes through the leaves of the rubber tree splashing light onto the bowl of fruit on the table then hopefully also the memory of the feeling the little shimmer of wonder in the everyday i won t feel it the exact same way but hopefully it ll be close thanks for reading bettina s livejournal subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work subscribe 78 22 6 share everything i read in 2024 with charts and a copy of my book tracker spreadsheet bettina dec 23 2024 43 16 share my camera roll is full of pictures that i took to keep track of books that looked promising this is from a visit to flying books in toronto i hit my reading goal for the year so i m calling it early even though i ll surely finish a few more soon this was a good reading year and one in which i pushed myself to read less fluff and more writing that i want to engage with on a line by line level less but better a worthy goal in most parts of life as with all things done with good intentions i wasn t perfect see the run of thrillers for the most part i maintained my policy of only finishing books that i liked but i did finish two books that i found bad which i ll point out since they re both successful and i don t want their inclusion to seem like an endorsement never lie by freida mcfadden and look closer by david ellis with that below is everything i read for fun this year with my favorites in bold every book i read this year piglet by lottie hazell exhibit by ro kwon creep by myriam gurba it s one of us by jt ellison the storm we made by vanessa chan first lie wins by ashley elston the new couple in 5b by lisa unger i survived capitalism by madeline pendleton you can trust me by wendy heard more please by emma specter dead weight by emmeline clein the mango tree by annabelle tometich the adult by bronwyn fischer working girl by sophia giovannitti annie bot by sierra greer no judgment by lauren oyler bellies by nicola dinan the heiress by rachel hawkins such a bad influence by olivia muenter brutalities by margo steines funny story by emily henry blue light hours by bruna dantas lobato 1000 words of summer by jami attenberg a good happy girl by marissa higgins splinters by leslie jamison the sicilian inheritance by jo piazza perfume and pain by anna dorn middle of the night by riley sager housemates by emma copley eisenberg i m mostly here to enjoy myself by glynnis macnicol the wedding people by alison espach strip tees by kate flannery the perfect couple by elin hildebrand evenings weekends by oisin mckenna the wilds by sarah pearse the spare room by andrea bartz she s not sorry by mary kubica the god of the woods by liz moore long bright river by liz moore what have we done by alex finlay i need you to read this by jessa maxwell something in the water by catherine steadman never lie by freida mcfadden the perfect home by daniel kenitz such charming liars by karen mcmanus cellar rat by hannah selinger the night we lost him by laura dave look closer by david ellis in tongues by thomas grattan the safekeep by yael van der wouden good material by dolly alderton station eleven by emily st john mandel the last one at the wedding by jason rekulak death at morning house by maureen johnson big fan by alexandra romanoff the other half by charlotte vassell listen for the lie by amy tintera be ready when the luck happens by ina garten invisible girl by lisa jewell how to fuck like a girl by vera blossom how i track my reading i find goodreads and storygraph clunky and i don t like rating books publicly though when i really love a book i will log onto my otherwise neglected goodreads to give it 5 stars instead i keep track on a spreadsheet logging title author genre rating and the date i finished it here s a blank version one upside of using a spreadsheet is that i can easily visualize my reading what i m looking forward to next year every few weeks i go through netgalley and jot down every new book that seems promising in my notes app these are standouts from the first half of the year cross my heart by megan collins january 14 okay i literally just realized that i forgot to add this to my list this year and i don t feel like redoing everything above so i m putting it here which makes sense since it s not out yet this was a very satisfying and twisty thriller that should be among my year end favorites fans of taylor swift will have lots to like too mutual interest by olivia wolfgang smith february 4 stag dance by torrey peters march 11 trauma plot by jamie hood march 25 this book will bury me by ashley winstead march 25 sleep by honor jones may 13 disappoint me by nicola dinan may 27 the dry season by melissa febos june 3 don t let him in by lisa jewell june 24 thanks for reading bettina s livejournal subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work subscribe what was your favorite book of 2024 what are you looking forward to in 2025 43 16 share early onset cabbage ennui and a spiced tomato egg noodle dish to address it bettina dec 18 2024 30 5 2 share i ve been holding off on eating cabbage it has felt like time for cabbage for a while now cold gray days all my favorite vegetables out of season the sense of needing to atone after too much frivolous spending but i ve wanted to leave this one thing to still look forward to i knew that soon as soon as fantasies of warm weather and tomatoes and wax beans really take root in my head cabbage would feel like a boring inevitability to put this off i wanted to delay cabbage s first appearance in my winter diet to make myself wait until i craved it i caved and cooked some cabbage the other day and it was good braised charred over polenta i remembered the sweetness cabbage yields still always a surprise to me the way it s hardy enough to withstand heavy cooking but can still emerge with a sense of being delicate then i opened the fridge a few days later and the illusion had already broken what remained was just a boring cabbage something i was somehow already over this cabbage still had to be lunch at some point though this is how i think of what to make i have cabbage and egg noodles maybe haluski that s kind of plain isn t it especially when what s actually been calling to me is meliz berg s minced lamb pasta and all the deconstructed manti riffs i ve been seeing on tiktok then again i don t want to go buy mushrooms and walnuts to make a kind of mince i m trying to atone financially remember so back to the cabbage what s the way to make it exciting does lunch have to be exciting well no but i d rather find pleasure in it if i can think more i have leftover crushed tomatoes plus an opened tube of tomato paste i envision cabbage rolls in red sauce i remember the ashak from parwana its tomato sauce flavored with coriander curry turmeric and vinegar what do i want from the manti pasta anyway it s the toppings and sure enough i have yogurt parsley lots of chili flakes lots of butter i am suddenly wistful about goulash and how i ve always liked the contrast of a cool dollop of sour cream these are the elements i will use then cabbage egg noodles tomatoes warm spices garlic yogurt chili butter cabbage and egg noodles in a spiced tomato sauce cut cabbage into shreds to feed two people with leftovers i used about a quarter of a large head heat olive oil in a large pan 1 over medium heat add a gentle shake of ground coriander and a pinch of cumin seeds let them warm in the oil toss in the cabbage followed by a pinch of salt cover the pan and let the cabbage cook until it s lightly browned and slightly softened stirring occasionally mince some garlic add the garlic to the cabbage followed by a little more oil and a big squeeze of tomato paste maybe a tablespoon stir to coat the cabbage and then let it cook for about five minutes add the crushed tomatoes about a cup plus about half a cup of water i stirred in a spoonful of better than bouillon and a dash of baharat this one s a mix of pepper cinnamon allspice and cumin you can also use a little of those cover the pan and simmer until the cabbage is tender boil water for the noodles while you re waiting for the water to heat and the cabbage to soften grate a clove of garlic into a cup of yogurt add a pinch of salt and mix i also added a handful of parsley that i finely minced in another small pot melt two tablespoons of butter over medium heat add a little olive oil followed by a pinch of cumin seeds and a few shakes of chili flakes i used a mix of regular red pepper flakes urfa and cobanero 2 let them bloom in the oil for a few minutes and then turn off the heat cook the noodles according to the package instructions turn the cabbage down to low and taste it add a splash of vinegar i used red wine vinegar and if you like a drizzle of honey or a pinch of sugar for balance adjust the salt to your preference using a spider or slotted spoon transfer the noodles to the cabbage and stir to combine to serve put the noodles in a bowl dollop on a spoonful of the garlic yogurt followed by a drizzle of the chili infused butter the remaining cabbage is a challenge for another day thanks for reading bettina s livejournal subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work subscribe until next time you can follow me on instagram crispyegg420 1 i legitimately love this eater x heritage steel sauté pan and use it nearly every day and i m not just saying that because i work there this is not an affiliate link 2 i buy the latter two from burlap barrel 30 5 2 share french onion soup beans food for frayed nerves bettina nov 05 2024 117 4 share hello here is loosely how i made lunch today it felt like exactly the right vibe for a day a week really like this one and a few people asked for a recipe i am rarely so giving but today is about civic duty and if you haven t already vote caramelize as many onions as you feel like cutting for me three large onions worked while cooking for two and making enough to have seconds but more wouldn t hurt this resulted in more onion flavor than texture i caramelize onions basically like this serious eats recipe the onions take a while so in the meantime cut or tear bread into bite sized chunks i used three thick slices of sourdough which i tossed with olive oil and then air fried until they were crisp on all sides you can also do this in the oven grate a block of cheese gruyère ideally i also grated some parm because why not once the onions are a rich brown add some butter and stir in a spoonful of flour let it brown lightly french onion soup purists might scoff at this but i m going for thicker saucy texture that will cling to the beans a pinch of thyme would also be great here if you have it add stock beef or vegetable and bring the mixture to a boil i used half a carton use more or less depending how soupy you want it it ll thicken a little once it boils and you can keep reducing it if you want subscribe once you like the texture of your sauce lower the heat to a simmer and add in your cooked beans i used about three cups of cooked flat white beans but any cooked white bean would be good taste and season with salt pepper worcestershire sauce a little soy sauce would work if you want to keep it veg just for some umami and a splash of red wine vinegar or sherry vinegar spoon the toasted bread onto the beans followed by the grated cheese with the heat around medium put the lid on the pot for a minute or so to let the steam melt the cheese if you want browned and bubbly cheese put the uncovered pan under the broiler for a few minutes add a crack of pepper before serving a sprinkle of chives would be nice too if you happen to have them the process looks like this okay godspeed to us all you can follow me on instagram crispyegg420 117 4 share the people want a buffalo tofu recipe a recipe is what you get bettina may 19 2023 53 6 3 share sometimes i feel like i m shooting myself in the foot career wise with the whole no recipes just vibes thing people want recipes the cookbook industry proves this my notifications prove this part of why i don t share recipes is the question of replicability whether i can ensure that and whether i even want to do the testing work in order to ensure that i don t want to let people down if what they want is guaranteed results you know but recently i wrote a piece about cookbooks that teach adaptability specifically tamar adler s the everlasting meal cookbook and margaret and irene li s perfectly good food as i wrote i like how adler classifies descriptive recipes versus prescriptive recipes and how the former teaches you to see what matters in a recipe the order of things the spices the ratios of ingredients accordingly here s the gist of how i ve been making buffalo tofu lately wh...