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Text of the page (random words):
joe mathlete explains today s marmaduke skip to main skip to sidebar joe mathlete explains today s marmaduke in 500 words or less tuesday may 18 2010 my thoughts on the marmaduke movie or my life in the bush of marmaduke or how i stopped worrying and learned to love hating marmaduke to paraphrase stephen sondheim hollywood used to be a breeding ground now it is a receptacle sondheim was originally talking about broadway at least i think he was i can t find any proof that he actually ever said that whatever it s a good quote broadway formerly a bastion of american artistic innovation is currently the home of legally blonde 2 the musical 2 the sequel to a musical based on the film legally blonde 2 look what movies are coming out this summer sex and the city 2 sequel to a movie based on a tv show based on a book based on newspaper articles iron man 2 sequel to a movie based on a 2nd tier comic book jonah hex based on a 5th tier comic book the a team based on a campy 80s tv action show macgruber based on a series of tv comedy skits based on a campy 80s tv action show robin hood beyond being basically a bible story in terms of freshness it s also for all intents and purposes a sequel to the film gladiator step up 3d sequel to a sequel in 3d toy story 3 sequel to a sequel in 3d shrek forever sequel to the sequel to the sequel to a movie based on fairy tales and fart jokes prince of persia the sands of time based on the sequel to a computer game the karate kid remake of an 80s movie that spawned several sequels starring the sequel to will smith ramona and beezuz based on children s books which have already inspired filmic adaptations the last airbender based on an animated tv series scott pilgrim vs the world based on a graphic novel nanny mcphee returns sequel to a movie based on a series of books piranha 3d remake of a movie that was based on ripping off jaws predators you know like the movie predator but plural dinner for schmucks remake of a french film from a decade ago cats and dogs the revenge of kitty galore sequel to a movie called cats and dogs that i d never heard of until i googled it so i could write this that s not counting films whose plots are just lazy retreads of previous films and that s also not counting the marmaduke movie i will say this right now if there exists a finer metaphor for the creative bankruptcy of the hollywood film system than a movie based on a half century old comic strip that has been recycling the same five gags since blacks and whites had separate drinking fountains i cannot imagine it i will also say this i wish people would stop asking me about it click these words to read the rest of this post posted by joe mathlete at 1 29 pm tuesday january 19 2010 a bright and shiny future thanks in part to hollywood s refusal to pass up a terrible terrible idea see previous post this is shaping up to be a busy year for me i ve got a couple of announcements i m not quite ready to announce yet but in the meantime didja notice the slick new layout we put together for the new marmaduke explained archives over at 29 95 com it s now much easier to navigate and i m working towards getting the previous installments posted there as well can t you already feel how much life is already improved food tastes better music sounds better laughter comes from the heart if you ve got some perverse loyalty to blogger com who to be fair have been very very good to me and have yet to check out the new stuff you re missing scads of important water cooler moments such as marmaduke is afraid of vacuum cleaners because he is a dog and all dogs are afraid of vacuum cleaners and marmaduke expressed his anal glands on some throw pillows to indicate which couch his owner couple should purchase and marmaduke is cosplaying as natasha henstridge s character in species and marmaduke writer creator brad anderson is like totally tripping and an emo joke at least four years past its expiration date i draw cartoons too yellow ones about dating and green ones about everything except dating why yes they are highly derivative of the far side thank you for noticing the future so bright it stings posted by joe mathlete at 12 47 pm wednesday january 06 2010 20th century fox film corporation is an asshole hit me with all you ve got owen wilson i will keep fighting the good fight posted by joe mathlete at 8 10 pm friday october 30 2009 this bears mentioning i m still explaining marmaduke quite regularly today this happened and i figured i ought to share here s a link to the new marmaduke explained archive again and here s a way to find a lot of the other stuff i m writing at 29 95 com also you can just google joe mathlete any old time you want and see what pops up i ve done it before it s neat you should try it with your own name too posted by joe mathlete at 12 43 pm monday may 18 2009 marmaduke explained running every monday wednesday and friday for the time being at least on 29 95 com a website on the internet check em out at http 29 95 com time suck if you click on the tag marmaduke explained on any given post you can get to all the previous ones pretty easily i ve only been doing them a few weeks there and already i ve hit my first just a bunch of all caps swearing at brad anderson wall c est la duke posted by joe mathlete at 3 55 am monday may 04 2009 marmaduke explained lives lookit lookit lookit the first post over here at 29 95 com i m totally doing these on a regular basis again they ve got rss feeds and other web two point oh things i honest to god still don t understand if that makes it easier on you also like i said in my last post i m writing other stuff this week is funniest british and or jewish comedy and or music trios week for some reason i m also reviewing the godfather part iii again for some reason i m probably one step closer to getting sued break out the champagne posted by joe mathlete at 4 15 pm thursday april 23 2009 29 95 com a few words about a thing future of marmaduke explained so i m writing for a new website like on an everyday type basis it s called 29 95 com and it s based out of houston my hometown they ve got most of my stuff in the time suck section on account it s so addictive it literally sucks away your spare time like a vampire so far it s a couple of crudely drawn comic strips sauce policy and dating is hard as well as a work in a similar vein to my great american blog stuff some highlights what i think bruce springsteen s born to run sounds like without ever having heard it how was i not fired can your preacher turn into an airplane drawing index cards live in person ruined movie soundtrack smorgasbord now i know a lot of you never cared too much about the other stuff i ve done and that s cool i always thought it was silly when the host on snl wanted to sing a song regardless of their background or interests or whatever i mention this here rather than on my other blog for three reasons 1 it stands to reason this blog just gets more traffic even when it hasn t been updated in forever which is often lately 2 i did mention it on my other blog in more depth 3 starting sometime in the next few weeks i will be doing joe mathlete explains today s marmaduke on 29 95 on a regular basis oh snap ashton still working out some specifics but yes after over a year i will be back on a regular schedule explaining marmaduke stay tuned for more information i ll let you know what i know when i know it for now if you d like to read some more in depth thoughts about the new site please read em here beats joe mathlete posted by joe mathlete at 10 43 pm tuesday april 21 2009 marmaduke s owner man can justify it however he wants but there is only one explanation he lets marmaduke dig because he is a big pussy posted by joe mathlete at 7 15 pm monday april 13 2009 marmaduke tipped a cab driver with a bone but presumably he paid the actual fare with cash which honestly seems much weirder to me sometimes i find myself thinking about these things for too long and it s never good for my health posted by joe mathlete at 1 39 am monday april 06 2009 marmaduke creator brad anderson has a dim awareness that something significant is going on in the news lately with economics and he might as well try to write a comic strip about it posted by joe mathlete at 2 11 pm older posts home subscribe to posts atom links 29 95 com where marmaduke explained happens from now on followers blog archive 2010 3 05 16 05 23 1 my thoughts on the marmaduke movie or my life in 01 17 01 24 1 01 03 01 10 1 2009 19 10 25 11 01 1 05 17 05 24 1 05 03 05 10 1 04 19 04 26 2 04 12 04 19 1 04 05 04 12 1 03 29 04 05 2 03 22 03 29 2 03 15 03 22 1 03 08 03 15 5 03 01 03 08 2 2008 35 09 07 09 14 1 07 13 07 20 1 06 22 06 29 2 06 01 06 08 1 05 25 06 01 1 04 27 05 04 3 04 20 04 27 3 04 13 04 20 4 04 06 04 13 3 03 30 04 06 2 03 23 03 30 2 03 16 03 23 1 03 09 03 16 1 03 02 03 09 3 02 24 03 02 1 02 10 02 17 3 02 03 02 10 3 2007 206 12 23 12 30 1 12 16 12 23 5 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06 3 07 23 07 30 6 07 16 07 23 4 07 09 07 16 5 07 02 07 09 1 06 25 07 02 5 06 18 06 25 6 06 11 06 18 7 06 04 06 11 4 about me joe mathlete houston texas norway i just wasn t made for these times view my complete profile