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Text of the page (random words):
hief of rats copulating in a pile of soggy garbage we live in the age of the internet it s not like you can t check up on these people while you re managing your fantasy sports team or shopping for that next thing you don t need we really don t have a great excuse a dog will eagerly devour a delicious chocolate bar offered to it primarily because it is unaware that the sweet perfect taste of cocoa is the dog equivalent of diet ricin regular ricin is also not good for dogs fyi dogs are also pretty stupid i think that this logic can also be applied to the average american voter while it took me a little longer than the twelve year old version of myself would have guessed i eventually explored every region of the continental united states and if you asked me what they all have in common i would tell you that they all possess a lot of people who are wildly selfish but still support concepts that directly oppose their best interests when occupy wallstreet was still a tangibly physical force i assumed like many that change was coming when it fizzled into internet activism and became the digital equivalent of a wet cough i expected it was only a matter of time before a subset of backpacked youths returned angrier than ever to break through barricades and hit investment bankers with axes before they were liquidated by police gunfire mansions would be burned without exception while the koch bothers were drug out of their opulent dwellings drug into the streets and eaten by underpaid teachers not because people took pleasure in the killings but because it was what had to be done that didn t happen instead occupy members just got kicked and pepper sprayed in the face while the organization s co creator wrote a book explaining why protesting is no longer a viable option and based on every protest i ve seen in the last decade there seems to be a lot of truth to that but occupy was for freaks and intellectuals not the regular people they were trying to help average people for one reason or another seem much more excited about having answers and much less interested in seeking them out for themselves taking what a pundit or political figure says at face value is a lot easier than hearing it breaking down its meaning researching its validity and then checking to see if they ve been consistent in that assertion this is probably why hilary clinton and donald trump can talk behind a podium without getting egged into a coma for lying every single night it s why so many highly religious people vote republican just because it identifies itself as the christian party even though most democrats from the united states are also christian let s not forget that the vast majority of america still considers jesus as their number one guy it s why overly aggressive policing is tolerated it s why you don t make more money it s why you pay top dollar for a terrible education it s why you live in the only developed country that doesn t provide you with healthcare stupid people are easy to manipulate they ll believe anything you tell them if you say it in the right way and with enough gusto facts become an impediment but even those americans belligerent with stupidity can sense that there is something wrong those that grew up in the great era of change and american exceptionalism who failed us so completely and then sold off the future as piecemeal have started to realize there is a problem but many don t yet understand it it s as if they can hear the pained squeals coming from the new world as it has had its head kicked in over and over again but they can t quite make out the boot that is doing the stomping this is what gives a wealthy fringe weirdo like trump an appeal to angry people fed up with the status quo this is also what makes clinton seem viable by comparison they are familiar personalities with millions of dollars of clever marketing behind them there is a revolving door between top tier industry and government jobs no matter which frontrunner you vote for that will remain a truth they aren t evil they re just vacuous people with selfish agendas who do not care that you exist perhaps at a minimum you might consider casting a vote for someone else and if you are feeling exceptionally patriotic you could organize and make the powers that be absolutely terrified of you after all it should be you who has the power it should be the citizenry coming away with the biggest piece of the pie even if we all have to share it and it s some shitty flavor like rhubarb posted in america current events dark humor dreams humor politics society uncategorized tagged america bernie sanders is the only non lizard person i m aware of who is running for president clinton doomsday election 2016 liars politics racists revelations scams trump 7 comments wow these nine beautiful babies have aged horribly posted on february 21 2016 by you monsters are people a lot of pressure comes along with being a truly adorable baby and most babies are known to hold onto the youthful good looks that defines them for as long as they can manage unfortunately father time cannot be stopped and is sometimes terribly unkind here are nine examples of grade a baby meat that have spoiled rather badly baby blake hauser used to be known as the darling of fairfield county but in 1994 his appearance at holland hill elementary was dubbed less than stellar by critics hardly in the public eye since then it s rumored he is now working as a senior network administrator how the mighty have fallen cupcake dan williams was the hottest baby during the johnson administration whatever happened between then and now must have been pretty brutal because he hardly even resembles himself anymore tragic martin cheema worked with some of the finest photographers that sears had to offer in 1988 the stunning results ended up on dozens of fridges across eastern new jersey while onlookers exclaimed what an adorable child that number dwindled to just two by 2012 while you can still see a glimmer of what made him such a epic baby there s certainly nothing a ok about his current look nice try martin jessie sullivan s peekaboo antics were legendary amongst her extended family but sources say that she hasn t played a game in over thirty years also gone is her signature and super chic fuzzy security blanket that many find it difficult to recognize her without she is currently a model and teacher living in california paul thomas may have more cuteness credits than any one baby has a right to the premiere mall santa of sandusky ohio used a photo with thomas from 1990 to 2006 as part of his portfolio paul s looks sadly faded long before then and was forced to take on work as a start up employee he died in a house fire in may 2013 sonya sony bellamy s adorable face delighted the elderly members of her community in salt lake city known as the baby with the most pinchable cheeks in utah geriatrics would line up to give them a squeeze now a hideous monster by comparison bellamy keeps a low profile and works as the spokesperson for numerous health and beauty products harris meyer was madison avenue s little star in 1979 tragically he passed on shortly after this photo left was taken however we have a pretty good idea what he might look like today right and it s definitely not good désiré holcomb s unique look took santa fe by storm until she was overshadowed by her little sister only two years later apparently incapable of sharing the limelight she seems to have lost it completely without her trademark chubby cheeks and round face she is practically unrecognizable yikes charles alberts was once eight and a half pounds of completely endearing beauty sadly his rapid weight gain ballooned him up to a horrific one hundred and ninety if anything alberts serves as a cautionary tale to babies everywhere he currently works as an investment banker posted in america dark humor humor internet culture parody uncategorized tagged aging badly babies faded glory humor internet culture is garbage society 7 comments interview with a digital bum posted on august 8 2015 by you monsters are people somewhere in a room there is a svelte man with curly hair illuminated by the glow of a computer monitor as he sifts through endless social media postings and curates his crowd funding pages previously a webmaster that spammed chatrooms for paid clicks he also ran his own webpage that served as a vehicle for him to obtain donations from anyone who happened upon it more recently stephen jolley has raised precisely two hundred and twenty one dollars on his kickstarter for the self described purpose of naming tracks for an album that he had already completed he is an interesting man with the kind of neurotic quirks normally possessed by fictitious characters on the page or screen but i feel he is all the better for having them steve also cultivates what can be unequivocally considered my favorite facebook page several seconds of it is all it takes for you to start feeling a little insane it s almost as if the website had taken on a malicious virus and begun eating itself you re greeted with endless screenshots within screenshots of random status updates error message and the all powerful like button as you scroll you make your way through posts simply requesting likes links to the very facebook page you are already viewing announcements for upcoming status updates self critiques of these same posts and the occasional semi earnest mention of a musical project he is working on the profile and banner images frequently involve dozens of screen shots often within other screen shots of his own profile error messages the like button seemingly random statuses and an image of the man himself falling into a void it s not clear whether he has some beef with social media or has embraced it to the point of near madness his music which seems to match the tone of his online persona draws you in a similar manner it s brimming with square noises digital distortion and oscillates between light fun and serious business image courtesy of stephen jolley created by robert burns i interviewed him about his new album perplexing digital art and borderline hermit lifestyle the following is a portion of our discussion when i first met you a mutual friend mentioned your old website and said you were essentially a digital bum that was the most futuristic concept to me at the time sj yeah that was when i first started panhandling on the web that was my thing for a while i guess it still is so do you take any offense to being called a digital bum sj i don t take offense because it is what it is analog bums or bums in real life live on the streets do hard drugs drink too much and smell bad i only have some of those problems still when i see people begging for money on the street part of me is envious of their lifestyle i know it s a terrible thing to say but we ve all had that feeling rent is due and you have work early in the morning and you can t sleep because you are worried about money and then the thought enters your head i could just not go to work tomorrow and be a bum trust me i ve been there i can hold a job in real life and beg on the internet in my free time internet access is so widely available these days that even if my non virtual world falls apart i could beg on the streets and and on the internet at the same time libraries starbucks and panera bread are all playgrounds for a bum that wants to go digital i d probably be the richest bum on the block while living dual bum existences what made you want to start crowd funding the crowd funding sj when i started crowd funding for my kickstarter promotional video it just felt like something was missing in order for the kickstarter campaign to successfully raise 200 i figured i would need at least five hundred from indiegogo to really give my kickstarter promo vid some pizazz i hoped that making a nice crowd funding experience would be more of a journey than what i m crowd funding for which is kind of pointless to begin with the importance of what i set out to crowd fund for has been trumped by the crowd funding itself meaning that the art of kickstarting is much greater than the names of my tracks which is what the kickstarter campaign is truly for why only set a kickstarter goal two hundred dollars sj 200 was an honest number i m totally done with the album everything but naming the music a lot of jerks ask for 20 000 or whatever for their art project that s kind of rude i ve saved the people 19 800 by doing everything else out of my own two pockets and one good heart well the indiegogo campaign didn t pan out but you surpassed your kickstarter goal by twenty one dollars in just over a month tell me a little about the album who is it for sj i made this album which at the time of this interview remains untitled mostly to keep myself entertained when you get on a computer and do something like e mail facebook youtube games spreadsheets or make tracks it s really all the same staring at a bright screen clicking and typing the only difference is what you see hear and how it changes your life and the lives of others making it was something to kill time and avoid all of my real life problems which seem to surround and keeping closing in on me it s best to avoid that feeling of being suffocated my the outside world the music is mostly for myself and if anyone likes it that is just the luck of others having similar taste in what sounds good to me there are no real lyrics and it s ultimately meaningless except for you know it s art which i guess is beautiful and whatnot it doesn t have a message it s not trying to shape culture it s the unused yankee candle you find in a trashcan it s the plastic toy you bite into when scarfing down a mexican pastry a small bonus or a slight annoyance on a boring day the most exciting thing to come from this album so far was the excuse to bombard people on social media reminding people again and again hey look at me i did something in my free time yeah i m no doctor or lawyer and i m not even eating a fancy fuckin brunch but this is still important for you to know about me somehow i probably could of got that satisfaction by not actually making an album but lying about it but i didn t think of that till just now give me the rundown on your digital history sj when i was thirteen i created a southpark fan site it had stills from the show and a choose your own adventure game i had banner ads that paid 10 cents a click my site was only making about a buck or so a day so i started spamming geocities chartrooms with links that sent you to my sponsor s website my friend gave me the suggestion to have the link s text say don t click here someone would click and bam i made a dime i was a teenager making about 20 or so an hour doing this in the late 90 s the exploits of the internet were amazing i saved up enough for a guitar and a nintendo 64 before my sponsors shut me down i didn t do very much interesting w...