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link you back like the bitch that i am will ya tell me that way the new one will be complete at 2 27 2009 03 33 00 am 1 comment labels internet plug the sound of change 26 2 09 gender again finally today i wish i had a more private place to post my thoughts i m feeling so conflicted and a little bit confused but calm and steady anyhow i m going to be included in a blog tour of an upcoming publication in april so look out for some new information soon i have finally developed my thesis for the capstone project i have to do in order to graduate with my b a in women s studies it is as follows two main gender presentations butch and femme dominated the lesbian community before the women s liberation movement of the 1960 s and 1970 s butch women presented themselves in a masculine way and femme women presented themselves in a feminine way feminist of the time viewed the butch and femme lifestyle as a replication of the traditional roles within heterosexual relationships the 1990 s brought to lesbian culture a surge of novels anthologies and other writings about the experiences of butches and femmes many books focused on the gender transgression of butch women while others focused on the complex relationships that butches and femmes have to one another i believe this disproportionate focus on female masculinity has attracted gender theorists because patriarchal culture favors masculinity and undervalues femininity writings about the experiences of femmes have only recently begun to appear in academia my research will assess works dealing with butches and femmes and the availability of scholarship about queer femininity i hypothesize that a disproportionate body of work focuses on butchness while relatively few works explore queer femininity an inventory of the available literature will illuminate the overshadowing of femininity within gender theory and lead to a better understanding of the politics of theoretic production this was with the help of tegee otherwise i really wouldn t have been able to make it sound that smart and scholarly don t get me wrong i m pretty smart but she made it sound so much more important and big than it actually is craziness had a nice day with dana did laundry had tea we knitted cross stitched at the laundromat i realized that not having a washer and drying gets me out of my uberwhiteness a little bit and maybe i won t get a washer dryer bought a clothes line today so we can hand wash some small items and save on laundry costs by drying them at home it reminds me of mexico and that one time in turkey that we stayed in the top floor of a hotel with out own landing so we strung up our clothes there i need to talk to someone unrelated to my situation but who still understands what i m struggling with dana wants me to be happy but she doesn t believe the same way that i do about it so our discussions are a little bit circular i think i need a great big hug and a cry haven t had one of those in awhile it s coming i can feel it at 2 26 2009 01 43 00 am 4 comments labels bdsm butch femme gender school women s studies 20 2 09 good news is close to home got this in an e mail from a feminist listserv good news happening in a town not so far away from mine deputy accepts 370 000 in gender bias lawsuit by todd ruger sarasota county the sheriff s office has agreed to revamp its promotions process and pay 370 000 to its highest ranking female deputy to settle her gender discrimination lawsuit settlement includes joan verizzo s promotion to captain joan verizzo accused former sheriff bill balkwill of manipulating the agency s promotions to favor men pointing out that there were no women among the top 18 sheriff s administrators with ranks of captain or above today verizzo a 24 year veteran of the sheriff s office will be promoted to captain and retire the settlement agrees to pay her 300 000 in damages plus 70 000 in salary that she lost since 2004 because she was not promoted to captain at that time verizzo s lawsuit also pushed for policy changes the sheriff s office agreed to post all vacancies for lieutenant and captain positions and provide more training to deputies on gender discrimination issues the agency will also create a three person promotion assessment board which must include at least one woman to review and recommend promotions to the sheriff and it will strengthen language to protect deputies from retaliation if they make complaints about discrimination i don t think it just helps women it will help everyone including men and other minorities said verizzo s attorney kendra presswood it should make the promotion process fair for everyone presswood declined to comment further until after verizzo s ceremony today verizzo s lawsuit accused balkwill of using subjective criteria such as oral boards and changing the point system to de emphasize education to promote men over better qualified women once the head of the sheriff s human resources department verizzo says six less qualified men were promoted to captain while she remained a lieutenant then she was effectively demoted to a position in the warrants section and told balkwill she planned to file a discrimination complaint with the u s equal employment opportunity commission two days later she was transferred to the animal services division where her supervisors had less seniority and experience than verizzo verizzo who has a law degree started her career as a prosecutor but was hired at the sheriff s office as a research specialist and became a law enforcement officer nine months later on thursday presswood filed another gender discrimination lawsuit on behalf of a female corrections deputy with similar accusations against balkwill at 2 20 2009 02 28 00 pm no comments labels but what have i to do with politicks feminism guest post 19 2 09 old school new school in the last two weeks i have been accepted by a very gentle dom for my training as a submissive i have thought about doing this off and on for about a year now and something shifted in my that compelled me to offer myself even now i am simply a lump of clay just beginning to take shape i learned a few different kneels on sunday tuesday and wednesday i took private kneeling meditations to practice there is a thin red band around my right ankle i knit it myself out of some old persian yarn which maggie gave me i m referred to in lower case but you know i m already seeing how freeing it is to begin to give up control little by little in my case and not completely given the fact that this is simply a training when i am told to do something like homework or a meditation or when i receive instructions as to where i shall be at what time i simply obey as best i can i am seeing how the role of a dom is partly that of a guide was talking to maggie last night about how fearful i am that i will not find a dom that can understand and respect my primary relationship with dana and not take away from my relationship with her i said but i shall just have to blow that cloud of fear away as if i were blowing out a birthday candle wwffff adios fear the funny thing is that she said she had just blown out a candle that smoked more than it should have afterward perhaps we cast a spell of good fortune for my search we shall see my temporary sir is quickly becoming a very treasured friend as is his maggie at 2 19 2009 04 14 00 am no comments labels bdsm d s health heart ladies wear the sound of change 17 2 09 please respond homework help general update too i am a week overdue with this assignment and it is mostly because i never received even ten responses i know i haven t been writing much but my last semester of school moving and a number of other stressors are really kicking my ass right now not having routine or a work schedule to work around has really disintegrated my even if you feel you have little to say in the matter won t you be a dear and complete this survey it s for a good cause my degree in women s studies e mail your responses to missavarice gmail com my lovelies also please pick up a book called black male outsider teaching as a pro feminist black man if you have any interest in the importance of men s specifically black men s cooperation and support of womanist and feminist causes if you re not interested you should be in a talk that miss bell hooks gave at my university two weeks ago she said that in our american culture we have been taught to alienate black maleness we have not been taught to relate with black maleness in a holistic way it was a huge aha moment for me and i truly hope that by reading this book perhaps also by reading musings of a manwhore and by making intentional choices in the company that i keep that maybe i will make some progress in that area healthwise i have had swollen tonsils for five days now i have been on antibiotics for four days but they had done nothing to improve my condition four hours on prednisone and the antibiotic is no longer doing double duty and the white spots are already beginning to disappear this has been one of the most expensive non chronic health issues i have had in a long time i m very grateful that i have not had any major health issues in the time that i have not had health insurance on my to do list for march is to see if i can get on the county health insurance program i m not employed and i do have a laundry list of health issues that make it hard to both sit at a desk for 8 hours and stand on my feet for 8 hours what kind of job lets you sit down and stand up as often as you want i m thinking very few also i m not supposed to even be typing this because i m grounded two weeks behind in one class totally on task with the other class wtf is up with the imbalance here recap do my survey read a book tonsils are looking better at 2 17 2009 06 56 00 pm no comments labels books compulsory health school 3 2 09 ooh rope fun these two patterns are relevant to my interests at 2 03 2009 02 59 00 am 1 comment labels bdsm ladies wear 1 2 09 knotty naughty i ve posted a little ditty about my recent knitting adventures over at the femme s guide it is five reason why knitting is good for the soul i ve been spending some lovely time with maggie and i have to say that it has been so long since i have made a friend like this that i am making it a point to savour every moment we talk so easily and about things that we both love and nothing ever seems awkward or out of place the gratefulness continues this week i ve been thinking a lot about the wishes that i once had to be a student of submission before i met dana i had been rather interested in finding my in to the bdsm world i don t think i ve found that yet but we are in a state of very easy openness in our relationship and i think i m ready to start looking for someone to lead me in the paths of obedience i have a lot of thinking to do about what i do and don t want in such an association and i need to find someone who is willing to work with my apparent smart ass masochist tendencies where i feel the need to disobey purposefully because i like the punishment rather than being good and having delicious pain as a reward i m certain i can be schooled but i understand that not everyone can handle such an unruly girl as i am perhaps part of it stems from the fact that for most of my life i have done basically everything as i was told even to my detriment but the last two years has been about doing whatever the fuck i want so now that i ve basically molded my life into a style that works for me emotionally physically mentally spiritually and otherwise now the idea of doing the bidding of someone else doesn t seem so bad especially if the reward is pleasurable pain and who doesn t want that there s so much more to think about i had been in a dry spell until this very moment and my honey is right by my side at every step with just the right words to bring me down to earth at 2 01 2009 02 29 00 am 1 comment labels bdsm heart knitting 29 1 09 survey says one of my classes is asking me to gather responses to two very simple survey questions i m to get at least ten responses and then report on my findings so if you want to help me with my homework e mail or comment me your responses include your return e mail and i will reply with the disclaimer that basically says who will be using your answers for what and that they will be anonymous i am taking a class at my university called men and sexism or feminism and men in the department of women s studies please respond below to the following questions 1 what do you think sexism is 2 do you think feminism is an effective strategy for bringing an end to sexism please fill in the following information name you can make one up gender and sex if they are different than usual race economic background for example do you come from an economic background that you would consider to be upper class middle class working class or under class poor sexual orientation age religious affiliation if any highest level of education attained response to question 1 response to question 2 i realize that the answers to this might of sort of biased if i know you folks so if there are any of you that aren t really in the field of women s gender studies please answer i m looking for a broad range of answers at 1 29 2009 12 22 00 pm 2 comments labels but what have i to do with politicks compulsory feminism obsessive listmaking roundup school sexuality women s studies 27 1 09 newheart i think today i met a kindred spirit a tea drinking deep thinking ship sinking woman with a love for the everyman everywoman everyone in all of us she has a tongue and a mind for language and a great deal more than that she taught me to knit and said such wonderful things about my beginner s swatch we talked and knit vulvas and drank tea for hours with nary an awkward silence the funny thing is i have been curious about her from afar for nigh on two years fearing i were not of her kind and maybe i m not but she treats me as though i am one of a kind the best part is that i feel we have so much in common and it is always joyous to be in the presence of someone who knows your customs and shares your attitude about life i am nothing if not grateful at 1 27 2009 04 29 00 am 1 comment labels decor feminism food girls heart language school 23 1 09 sexual autonomy sexual freedom i really can t believe i waited until today to check out sinclair s post about sexual autonomy and sexual freedom my answer is was short until i started writing for me sexual autonomy means having age appropriate access to the wealth of information that exists about different types of relationship styles different sexual activities fetishes and interests as well as safer sex practices and contraception i think this will only happen when we live in an environment that encourages open communication mutual respect and an understanding of the important role that sexuality plays in every person s life i think that s what sexual freedom is too perhaps...