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rted writing here after suffering miscarriages and wanting so desperately to start a family i ve meant to start another blog but haven t found the time and inclination i still may concoct something and if so will post the link here in case any one of my former blog friends stumbles upon it and cares to see what we re up to until then it is time to close this chapter in closing i want to let all those who i connected with on this journey in this medium how much that connection meant to me how grateful i was and am to have it in my life i think about many of you on a daily basis i once counseled a friend who was trying to conceive that she had to believe she would be a mother one day how everyone i knew and there were many of you who was struggled is now a mother but how hard that was for me to do i believed the worst would come from my failure to hold on to a pregnancy and now only the best has come well mostly the best i will try to remind myself of that the next time both girls are going off simultaneously those were some hard lessons learned but i truly believe that those very lessons of belief trust and patience mostly the patience are helping me in my journey to become the mother i want to be for my two lively girls speaking of to close is the photo of missy piper at 3 and sissy sammie at 8 months on independence day 2011 many happy days to each of you all my love and support to you on your momma hood journey xoxo ms planner posted by ms planner at 2 27 pm 5 comments tuesday march 15 2011 i promise it is coming the new blog that is i ve been designing it over and over in my mind i hope to find more inspiration from some upcoming trips to the mountain yay sammi is 4 months and ready for mountain daycare piper has taken the big chair lift up several times already this season with cowboy momma is ready and chomping at the bit to get up on snow an aside when not planning my new blog in my head i am planning how i will manage getting two wee ones up and out to mountain daycare by myself since daddy has to boot up for ski patrol at 7 am sharp goes something like nurse sammi in camper at 8 00 am haul both girls and their stuff to mountain daycare from camper give self 30 minutes could take an hour drop off at daycare return to camper get my gear ski until 11 nurse sammi get piper take a couple of runs with piper get requisite hot cocoa pick up sammi at 1 wait how do i get a baby in the ergo a three year old their gear my skis and piper s skis back to the camper frick i haven t had the balls to calculate how much we will pay in daycare fees so that i can ski for about an hour and a half i think it comes down to a dollar a minute an investment in the future i guess in the meantime here is a blurry photo of sammi at 4 months snot dripping from nose oh the poor second child no time for carefully crafted photos included posted by ms planner at 9 42 pm 4 comments labels are you my mother sissy monday january 3 2011 milk does not do this body good what is that old saying something about making a plan and giving the universe or god or whomever a laugh so after smuggly congratulating myself that i put up tons of food for the birth of my second child it appears that said second child has a dairy intolerance not an allergy yet but she vomits copiously and has troubling digesting and therefore expelling out the proper end of course nearly everything last thing i put up has cheese or milk in it but it is so heartbreaking to watch her struggle after i eat a serving of chicken linguine casserole and i am committed to breast feeding her until two so i am off the cow for now if anyone has suggestions for vegan cookbooks or resources or ways to replace items like butter with something else i am all ears and eyes cowboy is going to have fun eating all those lasagnas and chicken pot pies himself the only upside is how quickly the baby weight is coming off posted by ms planner at 2 31 pm 6 comments labels hippie mom sissy monday december 20 2010 random market research please participate one of the things i love most about this blog is my blogroll on the right hand side i have enjoy immensely watching and reading the new blogs that everyone creates as they leave the world of if and get on with real life it s like the if blog was only just a glimpse into the otherwise diverse and multi dimensional lives we all lead and my life beyond if belongs to the mountains when we re not in the mountains we pine for the mountains the rhythm of our year revolves around snow season our friends know not even to call us for weekend dinner plans until may others can count on us to jump into the car at a moment s notice for a quick road trip for some good skiing even with kids in tow so i want my new blog to be a place for mountain mommas even if you re just going to be one for a quick weekend trip to the rockies because being a momma in the mountains takes gumption and planning and usually a lot of gear what you will find there are gear reviews for the best kid s outdoor products and tips on introducing kids to the mountains and musings from the momma of mountain girls and the wife of a ski patroller what you won t find are fleece jester hats for kids because those are just plain wrong and because the mountains demand that you never take yourself too seriously in them i want to call my new blog mountain milf what do you think honestly and if you don t know what a milf is please email me posted by ms planner at 2 48 pm 2 comments labels are you my mother tuesday november 23 2010 adorable little boys it s already snowing in the pacific northwest i took the girls up to mount hood for sammi s first snow this past saturday while cowboy was on ski patrol at timberline i didn t take a photo because good lord hauling around a wee baby in a front pack in a still too big down suit and a toddler in all her snow gear and all their diaper gear and assorted practical gear is quite the logistics feat that i haven t cracked the code on yet but there i was practically short roping both girls up the stairwell sammi in the ergo front pack and piper on my hip momma carry you she said both girls are in blue snow suits because i flat out refuse to buy pink outdoor gear rei and the patagonia store in portland regrettably don t leave me many options i don t wear pink in the outdoors why should my girls oh look at those adorable little boys a women remarked on her way down the stairwell i guess i should expect as much when i dress them in blue but it pissed me off so i am starting my one woman mission to rid the outdoor industry of gender color stereotypes for children s gear i m tired of choosing between pink and blue when i drop a shit ton of money on quality kid s outdoor gear because i will always choose blue just to make a point for this and so much more outside fun please stay tuned i finally have figured out my new blog voice as i transition from family building to family managing just haven t had time to execute yet story of my life these days posted by ms planner at 12 48 pm 3 comments labels are you my mother sisters sunday november 7 2010 the newest little mountain girl samantha mohr j tuesday november 2 2010 10 07 am 8 lbs 21 inches sammi is our buddha baby she s big and chunky and calm so far nursing with no problem and is almost back to her birth weight born the traditional route although i caved and requested begged for an epidural when i stalled out at 8 cm for 2 hours for days following sammi s birth i would look at her and marvel at her size and still can t quite believe i delivered such a strapping baby we are home now and are navigating how to manage it all ever so grateful for my parents and cowboy who are holding down the ship with missy and household while i get my bearings despite the trepidation and the stitches i am so happy and blessed when i started on this journey i had no idea it would turn out so wonderfully now it is my time to just serve my family in gratitude for it all posted by ms planner at 10 49 am 13 comments labels sissy saturday october 30 2010 end date my due date is nov 5 despite being at 3 cm dilated daughter 2 has not dropped my ob estimates that the baby is 7 lbs and she does not want her to get much bigger i have a narrow pelvic opening courtesy of 2 lousy tailbone mishaps and there is a genuine issue of a bigger baby not making it through as such we ve been asked to come up with three dates next week to schedule an induction which means the p word pitocin which i had hoped to avoid my ob says there is little risk of a c section using pitocin on a 2nd baby when the first was delivered via the traditional route i just really really really want a natural childbirth this time around and know that pitocin amplifies the contractions for momma and can stress out the baby leading to all sorts of rash decisions in a clutch i know this sounds incredibly silly and maybe a bit selfish however i am the kind of person who often sets physical goals for herself though so the desire to deliver naturally is not entirely surprising i have vowed to keep a mental image in my head of the obscene amount of the money i wrote in the check to the doctor who performed my epidural the last time which essentially cost 10 per minute of pain relief in the meantime i have tried acupressure and acupuncture on the labor points to no avail in fact i have tried all the old wives methods save for castor oil just can t go there anyone know a good astrology source where i can find the best birthday for my little scorpio to be posted by ms planner at 2 09 pm 7 comments labels are you my mother sissy saturday october 23 2010 no action yet sigh the moon is full tonight the barometer has dropped so that now it is cold and raining the first snows are predicted in the cascades i have nested to the enth degree floors cleaned and re cleaned rugs rolled up sent to the cleaners and returned blinds vacuumed i even re arranged the furniture in the living room in an attempt to bring on some labor action the freezer and we have one that is big like a full size refridgerator in our garage cannot absorb one more food item it is stocked to the gills with homemade chicken potpies lasagnas and missy s favorite 70 lbs of frozen blueberries from a local orchard we go through blueberries in this house like some toddlers roll through string cheese that this baby s due date coincided with the final harvests of the season is somewhat to blame i think i have 12 full chickens and our thanksgiving turkey in there too the pantry is likewise shelves of pasta boxes of annie s bunny crackers bags of flour and sugar along with dozens of quarts of applesauce nectarines peaches and roasted tomatoes put up in the past 6 weeks everything for baby has been a pulled out b laundered c put in its place all the momma necessities i didn t plan for with missy breast milk storage bags wtf are under the counter in the bath my bag is packed but its contents are much different than the first time gone are the ipods magazines and books in their place is a breast pump sterlized bottles for collecting colostorum and warm shirts and hats for the baby did i ever mention i forgot to pack clothing for missy the first time around everything that i wasn t prepared for with my first baby has been checked off the list everything except for how agonizing and physically painful those last few weeks of pregnancy can be i am generally not a whiner least of all about physical pain but good lord almighty by being born at 36 weeks missy spared me this final assault on my body her little sister however seems intent on picking up the slack i guess this is a precursor of life to come what one doesn t teach and prepare me for the other one will bring it girls i think with a mixture of pleasure and ruefulness posted by ms planner at 3 31 pm 5 comments labels are you my mother missy sissy thursday october 14 2010 waiting waiting waiting i am in my 36th week there is dilation and effacing and all sorts of random ob speak going on unlike the days before missy arrived and i wanted to spend time doing all these things by my self now i want to spend them as mother and eldest daughter as such i am insanely jealous that my nanny is outside blowing bubbles with missy in the early fall sunshine we still have some sun in the pnw and it is october who is shouting bye bye bubbles see you next time as each one floats over the back fence into the park working from home is pure bliss and pure torture sometimes posted by ms planner at 10 52 am 3 comments labels are you my mother missy thursday september 23 2010 looking back what a lame title yesterday i had lunch with a potential partner for my business she s younger than i but our lives track in so many ways she admitted during lunch that she left a monolithic portland based sports company in order to start her own company so she and her husband could have flexibility when they started their family only trouble is they have just discovered that they are having trouble starting one sound familiar for the first time i at 34 weeks pregnant with my second was clearly on the other side of the if fence i tried to commiserate i am an open book when it comes to our struggles how timed sex sucks how hard if can be on a marriage how lonely it can seem how yes i too wanted to kick people in the shins when they asked us when are you having kids but i wanted her to know that although it doesn t seem so now if she really wants to be she will be a mom someday how every last person i know who struggled is now a mother i did not explain the blog and blog friends and how many of you there once were how she has to believe in this even though it is so very hard to do so at this point in their journey her situation broke my heart i so clearly saw myself four years ago reflected in her like many of you i want to close my door on if and miscarriages and white knuckled pregnancies in all likelihood i will in a few short weeks when our second daughter arrives but i don t want to foresake all those who are beginning to struggle or who are still in the trenches so this blog is at a crossroads for once ms planner finds herself without a plan posted by ms planner at 12 54 pm 4 comments labels randomness thursday august 12 2010 gus five weeks ago sweet gus our almost 16 year old golden retriever was diagnosed with bone cancer it is spreading to other parts of his body he cannot use his back hind leg and is in pain he has lost 15 of his body weight in a month tomorrow cowboy and i will make that woeful trip to the vet for the inevitable in his younger days gus used to run next to my mountain bike trail run and backcountry hike he once chased a black bear away from our camp he kissed plenty of tears from my face after break ups in my single days and bfns and miscarriages during my married ones he is in our wedding picture the one we have on our wall he loves snow and swimming and bread not necessarily in that order i cannot decide whic...