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Text of the page (random words):
e be afraid of possible military or economic consequences if we are too tough on these illegals or should we go ahead and target their families for say drone strikes remember these illegal immigrants make up the largest portion of the illegal immigration that my country faces what do you all think i don t know if it matters what the ethnicity of these illegals is but in case you are wondering they are white americans something to think about in 2017 i reckon merry christmas posted in charity democracy festivals et al human rights 15 comments an book review party members posted by mylaowai on thursday october 13 2016 party members the new book by arthur meursault is finally out and the eagerly awaited review of this book by mylaowai is also out i probably should start out with a few trigger warnings but i won t because trigger warnings are for people who are so intellectually weak and emotionally inadequate that they might as well be vegetarianists or poofs or trump supporters for anyone who wants to be offended by that statement but who doesn t feel quite entitled please feel free to consider yourself a cunt in a very general sense there are many reasons to buy this book and one of them is that i know the author is struggling under the crushing weight of unforgiven student debt and is forced to give blowjobs in exchange for bowls of noodles on the streets of anyuan this is a lie the author does not live in anyuan but the real question is is this book right for you here s a handy q and a to help you decide q is this book right for me a i don t know are you an american q yes i am as it happens how did you guess was it the perfect teeth it was wasn t it a no it was the smart suit and matching power tie that looked so stylish bad news chum this book probably isn t for you q oh why not a you will be offended by it you should have read all those trigger warnings plus you probably have some sort of romantic notions about china and how it would be lovely if only the communist party would let the humble and very ordinary people get on with their lives but things are no doubt improving and anyway people are basically the same everywhere and it isn t their fault they are poor and besides q um no i intend voting trump a you will still be offended by it you should have read all those trigger warnings plus you probably have some sort of notions about china stealing all your jobs and coming over here and buying all our real estate and obviously they want to start ww3 because alex jones said so just like the chinese killed millions of americans during 9 11 and they are jealous because we beat them in the last war and besides q um sorry i lied i m actually english a really fascinating which part of blighty doest thou hail from q newcastle a this book might not be for you i checked on the results of the last referendum and it s clear that you are 49 3 likely to be unable to read although that said the pages are nice and soft so you will at least be able to make some use of them i m a daily express man myself when it comes to these sorts of things your call q is this book really as offensive as everybody says a is your screen name robert black by any chance because if it is you ll hate it it s well written descriptive and essentially accurate though there are rather a lot of references to sexual assault so maybe you ll be turned on by it after all q no my name is mike hunt a righto thanks well as a work of literature it s definitely on the rough side not for persons of a delicate disposition certainly not easy to read if you are sensitive or a delicate snowflake but fairly factual q factual a certainly not in the sense of being about a real person or being set in a real place but more in the sense of being about facts in a general sense of the word sort of thing q so what do you reckon is it for me should i buy it a honestly i don t know look i ve been very patient but i m incredibly busy getting these christmas decorations made and these coolies don t work all that hard without a good beating from time to time so why not just buy it and then let me know what you think hmmm tell you what if you buy it and don t like it i promise on my first born s grave that i ll totally reimburse you alright get it on amazon here party members this is a lie and for what it s worth this reviewer has a copy liked it a lot and is now going to pour a gin and tonic and try to think of a creative yet unfair way to be cruel to his workers again have a nice day posted in ask mylaowai china media newsflash propaganda zhang ziyi 1 comment they all do posted by mylaowai on friday july 15 2016 posted in buy mylaowai 1 comment chexit posted by mylaowai on wednesday july 13 2016 chexit china out of the south china sea i guess you can t just pick and choose which international agreements you have to honour eh posted in china history media newsflash leave a comment party members posted by mylaowai on saturday june 25 2016 party members a book by arthur meursault got so much money you don t know how to spend it yeah i know it s tough i mean to say there are only so many times you can have your aston detailed before the shine blinds you and frankly i m a bit over bathing in champagne which is why i was so delighted to be introduced to a new book priced at a level that ensures you can afford it and your coolies cannot read about it here https arthurmeursault com 2016 06 23 announcing my book party members i ve read this and it s my considered and very important opinion that you should too at the very least it ll give you something to do while you re waiting for the champagne bath to fill again posted in ask mylaowai china media newsflash 15 comments lest you forget posted by mylaowai on saturday june 4 2016 posted in censorship china festivals et al 6 comments what country are you posted by mylaowai on friday april 1 2016 what country are you by chouchou unsure where your boundaries lie separatists giving you a bad day lacking identity in a world plunged into ethnic crisis if so perhaps you need to take the sinocidal patented nationality test to find out which country you are the sinocidal patented nationality test is the only method endorsed by the united nations guaranteed to inform confused nations on their official diplomatically recognised title just read some of the following endorsements for years i thought i was just the 51st state of america but after taking the sinocidal patented nationality test i actually realised i wasn t canada i used to be a sad overweight depressed yugoslavian republic but thanks to the sinocidal patented nationality test i dumped my allied nations and became a size 10 bosnia herzegovina i was so overjoyed when the sinocidal patented nationality test told me that my population were god s chosen people that i went out and attacked the lebanon israel so grab your pencils repress your minorities and get ready to find out what country are you the sinocidal patented nationality test is not responsible for any resulting civil wars foreign invasions or attacks from godzilla question one how do you allow your citizens to top up their mobile phones a a simple and easy to use combination of customer accounts top up cards and access points in most convenience stores across the nation b a similar combination of customer accounts and top up cards but with the added bonus of making it virtually impossible to add money to your phone once you are outside the city where you registered your phone so if some poor resident from qingdao has to go to shanghai for two weeks to renew his passport he ll find his phone is practically useless because he can t buy the correct cards and the only suggestion he gets from the staff in china fucking mobile is make sure you have enough money on your phone for your time outside your city well guess what i had plenty of money on my wax covered telephone but because you charge double for making or receiving any calls once you step one foot outside of your respective city that money drains away like the happiness in my heart drained away when i first set foot in this country c your citizens don t have telephones they prefer to communicate via magic crystals and flying griffin couriers question two how do your citizens pay their electricity bills a most people pay through direct debit accounts though other options like paying by cheque or ready cash over the counter are also acceptable for elderly citizens b have a completely different system for every single city and town within your boundaries so that there is never any way a mortal person could get too comfortable in one certain city implement a system where you can only pay by bankbook and refuse actual money even when it is waved beneath a teller s nose however create the computer system so badly that it breaks down for about three months continuously thus preventing anybody from paying their electricity bill even if they want to do absolutely nothing for three months to get the system back online but continue to refuse customer s ready cash and pleas for clemency hopefully this will result in a situation where somebody is unable to pay his bill for months goes to shanghai for two weeks to renew his passport and comes back to find his power cut off the fucking cunts c the only electricity in your country is contained within a magical lamppost that shows the way to a gateway leading towards the world of man question three how do your people keep warm a radiators central heating warm insulation double glazing and cups of tea except for students who prefer to do their coursework in launderettes and save the heating money for cans of cider and tobacco paper b for starters completely disregard everybody who lives in the south everybody knows that the south is warmer than the north so why bother providing heating facilities anywhere despite the fact that for the last 5000 years winters below the yangtze have all dipped below zero so when a poor guy is stuck on a friend s floor in shanghai for two weeks waiting for a new passport and the reason why he is forced to stay on the floor is because you have a policy of not allowing people to check into hotels or fly back to their towns of residence while they might be temporarily without identification he ll be so cunting cold that his balls contract deep into his body and begin to poke out of his anus and the north well you re not for one moment going to allow your citizens the freedom of controlling their own heating so you decide when they can and cannot be warm except they won t be warm anyway because when your corrupt engineers come round to check the boilers they deliberately don t fix them properly so you have to call them round again and pay them more money is it any wonder why most people choose to walk around looking like the bastard son of the michelin man and the pillsbury dough boy c it has been difficult to keep warm since the wintry curse of the white witch but most beavers build fires from the wood they collect question four what happens when a burglary occurs in your land a the unfortunate victims would contact the police and claim the losses from their insurance if they possessed any b encourage your inept police force to investigate the recent series of robberies not by tracking down the criminals and bringing them to justice but by sticking a notice up on the front door of every compound asking residents to report any foreigners who might be living in the area unregistered not only does this ensure local residents automatically connect the recent break ins to any unlucky foreigners living in the vicinity but it also ensures that any foreigners returning from a two week passport application in shanghai are greeted by screaming neighbours banging on their door and a pointless few hours down the police station whilst they check my documentation add to this the alarm when the police discover that the foreigner s passport number has now changed and you ve got a fairly typical example of the needless and crippling bureaucratic nightmare which consists of so much of my life right now c the beloved king aslan would be asked to sacrifice himself for your sins on an ancient stone table question five if one of your citizens is in a foreign country and needs a new passport what do they do a spend more than two soul destroying weeks shivering on a friend s floor in shanghai because the whole process does not take seven days like you advertised on your consulate s website b god only knows probably something involving agreeing to be anally buggered for thirty uninterrupted years and sacrificing your first born to a portrait of karl marx c passports are unnecessary because most travel is conducted through magical wardrobes and pictures of boats hanging in the bedrooms of upper middle class victorian children how did you do mostly a s you are the united kingdom of great britain and northern ireland your favourite colour is blue and you enjoy making model aircraft at the weekends basically you re not such a bad guy though you could probably improve your image by nailing the popular tit model jordan to a wooden cross and sealing it within a coffin filled with broken glass mostly b s you are the people s republic of china your favourite colour is student blood red and you enjoy sushi at weekends in order to increase your economic development it is strongly recommended that you vacuum seal anybody connected to the financial communication legal medical and political professions into a 27 kilometre high nuclear dildo and fire it into the sun mostly c s you are the magical land of narnia you don t actually exist except in the head of a crusty victorian academic from the late 1800s who was possibly gay mostly d s you re doing the wrong quiz mate either that or you re belgium posted in guest post 12 comments knocking one out in the middle kingdom posted by mylaowai on tuesday march 1 2016 knocking one out in the middle kingdom and the aftermath by chouchou oh hello there reader you ll have to imagine that i m sat behind a large oak desk and that i m turning towards you as i put down my trusty pipe i m glad you came you see i ve been asked by my dear fellow sinocidal members to say a few words about my days as a writer in china in the next few paragraphs i m going to dazzle you with secret irony disseminate essential information let you in on a bit of the secrecy behind those draped media curtains and even use two or three of sinocidal s five hardy jokes in short you re going to have a ruddy good time or are you or are you or are you no not really no and if this all sounds a bit self indulgent you re right however i m contractually obliged to be dead by the end of this article so indulge me a few years ago i used to work for hangzhou s premier english language toilet paper in touch zhejiang it as nobody affectionately referred to it was a wonderful and worthy read full of fascinating articles that didn t scratch one s arse too much as...