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Text of the page (random words):
ite australian student complained what s the point of that it was amusing that she thought human migration and subsequent linguistic diversity should have some kind of point but it was also bloody exasperating after shvat comes adar i enrolled in a drawing class it was nice giving myself permission to spend money and learn a new skill purely because it s fun i think that letting myself do stuff purely because it s fun is in itself a new skill that i m still working on honing it was great to have a teacher watching over my shoulder and pointing out things that need improvement because normally i m too adhd and impatient to spend a long amount of time on a drawing i get bored quickly and decide it s fine the way it is even if the proportions aren t quite right and the foreshortening s a bit out of whack it was a therapeutic exercise i kinda wish that the myriad counselors and psychiatrists i ve seen over the years had sent me to drawing classes instead of cbt or whatever in adar comes purim and on purim it is a mitzvah to drink until you no longer know the difference between good and evil some people don t know the difference even without wine which is why auckland pride included uniformed police and corrections officers in their march a small number of young queers decided to take a stand against this blatant pinkwashing of state violence they unfurled a banner that read no pride in prisons the reaction from pride security and organisers was disgusting they violently grabbed the protesters broke one woman s arm and smashed the cellphone someone tried to film it on unsurprisingly the woman whose arm was broken is trans and māori which nicely illustrates the reason that she was protesting in the first place the cops for their part didn t step in to protect this young woman but arrested her and kept her from accessing medical care for 45 minutes onwards to nissan a variety of racists congregated in martin place to reclaim australia from migrants multi culturalism and islam i dutifully attended the counter protest in spite of my ongoing scepticism about antifa organising getting into fights with fascists is all very glamorous but aside from fueling their persecution complex i m not convinced it has much impact effective opposition to fascism would require a lot of boring tedious groundwork reaching out to communities who are threatened by white nationalism finding common ground building trust and coordinating resistance it would also require us to move beyond sappy liberal slogans and address the systemic racism on which australia is founded we can t declare that real australians say welcome without asking who the hell constitutes a real australian and why white people get to welcome migrants to a land they colonised through genocide that nissan was my first pesach in sydney i kinda expected my bourgeois zionist relatives to invite me to their seder and i was already fabricating polite excuses but as it turned out i never heard from them i was both relieved and offended as usual i planned to organise an anarchist seder for all my friends and as usual i didn t get around to it i spent pesach eve alone eating chametz which has become somewhat of a tradition i read through various leftist hagaddot that i found online there are many pesach traditions that i love story telling as a way of passing on history and ethics from one generation to the next the various rituals and symbols involving food the commandment to open your door to anyone who might join you on this night so much of my relationship with judaism is negative after all i grew up in a jewish theocracy so it s important to me to focus on the parts that do resonate then it was iyar and getting far too cold for my liking i broke my no parties rule once again and attended a house show it was a fundraiser for the redfern aboriginal tent embassy and my lover s band was playing on the wall near the doorway of the venue someone had painted no posers in big letters it generated an interesting discussion about what exactly makes someone a poser and it also reminded me why i distanced myself from the punk scene there are so many people who should be excluded from shows racists transphobes abusers instead punks obsess about the authenticity of other people s punkness are they wearing enough patches do they have enough piercings can they quote enough amebix lyrics i honestly can t think of anything less punk than worrying about not being a poser as an alternative try worrying about not being a shitty person iyar was also the centenary of the battle of gallipoli which necessitated some bile inducing celebrations of a pointless horrific war i m glad i wasn t in wellington to witness what a comrade described as poppy geddon on taranaki st that peter jackson was put in charge of the anzac day parade makes it clear that commemoration of the war didn t become a spectacle by accident this is militarism as entertainment a romantic and glamorous adventure for honour and glory lord of the rings reimagined with dapper uniforms and vintage cars though the slogan lest we forget is ubiquitous the real purpose of all these shenanigans is to ensure that no one remembers the brutality of war the pointlessness of nationalism or the corruption of empire as if what soldiers went through in life wasn t enough the state continues to exploit them in death spinning their stories into fairy tales that will convince another generation that invading other people s land is a cool thing to do with your time in sivan new zealand s media which loves to froth about the madness of political correctness gleefully announced that at the labour party conference young activists proposed a new policy of public funding for gender reassignment surgery labour party leadership were quick to proclaim that of course they have no intention of doing anything that sensible and humane andrew little assured the public that he is very happy with his gender so is every trans person i know andrew it s your cissexism they have a problem with at the same time the government was spending 26 million on choosing a new flag that amount of money would easily cover grs for everyone on the current waiting list with some left over to fund trans specific mental health services refuges and rape crisis centres training for medical professionals on how to provide appropriate healthcare for trans people scholarships for trans students trans advocates at high schools and tertiary education institutions public education campaigns to combat transmisogyny and transphobia resources for trans asylum seekers and free donuts for every trans person six months of work finally bore fruit in sivan it was the sydney anarchist bookfair when i moved to sydney i promised myself i d take a break from activism and concentrate on paid work i wasn t planning to take on any organising responsibilities for the bookfair but apparently i m too much of a control freak to manage that here s some things i learned a consensus based horizontal organising with people who don t have much experience can be a pain in the ass but these are skills you only learn by doing and it s worth the extra work and extra fuckups if it means more people have the skills to organise in the future b everything is more time and money and work than you expect so don t over extend yourself c it s often easier to just do shit yourself but if you want folks to give a shit about your project you need to involve them d make space for indigenous voices make space for disabled voices make space for trans voices make space for migrant voices make space for new perspectives no one needs to sit through another lecture about what the iww were up to 100 years ago in the month of tammuz the usa a country that prides itself on its commitment to individual liberties finally recognised marriage between two people of the same gender this was declared a victory for love but if we re being honest marriage has little to do with love love doesn t need permission from the government marriage is about more material things like healthcare borders and money i recognise that in the usa legalising same sex marriage has very practical implications for people s lives unlike new zealand where it was mostly a symbolic victory i would rather abolish marriage altogether because i don t think the state has any business policing people s relationships i don t see why one kind of relationship that some people choose to have should be singled out for special treatment i don t see why access to healthcare or freedom to cross borders should be linked to a person s relationship status i m happy for everyone whose life is improved because of the ruling but i m also mindful that this isn t the climax of queer liberation that some folk are making it out to be that same month i crossed something off my bucket list i began learning yiddish at the centrum kultury jidysz in warsaw it was harder than i expected my first day of class i took one look at the textbook and shouted this is nothing like hebrew yiddish did not play a big role in my childhood none of my grandparents spoke it at home although it was their first language in israeli society yiddish is taboo when i told a childhood friend i was planning on studying yiddish he was genuinely offended yiddish he told me belongs to a time when jews were weak and had to hide who we are it is a dead language and it should stay dead because of this antagonism to yiddish i had thought the decline of the language was self inflicted that might be the case in palestine but in the ussr yiddish was banned outright and other countries had more subtle ways of forcing linguistic assimilation the nice thing is that yiddish is slowly being revived and so are european jewish communities after my yiddish program finished i stayed in poland and spent av researching family history in warsaw and lublin i m the first person to return since my grandfather escaped during the second world war and i wasn t sure what to expect i imagined poland as a heavily nationalistic and anti semitic country i was pleasantly surprised i think it helped that i spent my time in a jewish bubble what i learned is that the polish narrative about the holocaust is very different from the zionist narrative i grew up with poles i talked to insisted that jews have always been a part of polish society to them the holocaust is an atrocity carried out by foreign invaders against polish jews in spite of that i couldn t help noticing that people talked of poles and jews rather than jewish poles and christian poles even after a thousand years jews are outsiders in poland that s not necessarily a bad thing i prefer it to either assimilation or to having a jewish state there was one day in av that really brought home the violence of the jewish state a jewish fundamentalist named yishai schlissel stabbed six people at the jerusalem pride parade he killed one of them a 16 year old girl named shira banki schlissel is from a west bank settlement called modi in illit and had recently been released from prison after serving a ten year sentence for stabbing three people during jerusalem pride 2005 he had made it very clear that he intended to continue violently enforcing his homophobic interpretation of jewish theology that night a group of jewish supremacists firebombed a palestinian family s home in duma a toddler named ali dawabshe burned to death eight days later his father saad died of his injuries his mother reham died a month later the only survivor is 4 year old ahmad dawabshe who s still recovering in sheba hospital neither of these crimes are isolated they re a product of settler colonialism patriarchy and religious chauvinism when elul rolled around the world finally started paying attention to the millions of syrians fleeing both is and assad s violence even in new zealand there s a growing movement demanding an increase to the refugee quota after my time in poland the photos and stories of syrian refugees hit me hard i know that there s a direct connection between my grandparents escape from genocide in europe to palestine the ensuing ethnic cleansing of palestinians to syria among other places and the current crisis i ve been oscillating between feeling grateful that so many westerners empathise with refugees and feeling frustrated that the focus remains on charity rather than solidarity and on the exceptional desperation of these particular refugees rather than the inherent violence of borders we cannot pretend that the violence in the levant is nothing to do with us no country is an island metaphorically speaking by then i was in london wondering what the hell i m doing with my life i got myself a work visa i thought i d find myself a boring fulltime job in publishing or comms and save money for a few months the problem is i was so exhausted i was barely managing the freelance work i was getting it happens every year or two this all consuming fatigue that swallows my life i m never sure what it is depression a side effect of my meds hypermobility b12 deficiency is it all in my head am i just lazy in my experience it s hard to get doctors to take you seriously especially when you have a history of mental illness trying to navigate the nhs was like being in an episode of broad city every clinic i went to sent me someplace else when my energy levels are low i m using all my reserves just to make sure i eat enough it s unfortunate that the symptoms that forced me to seek medical help also made it near impossible to access it the healthcare system really isn t designed with sick people in mind by rosh hashana i d already made plans to go to berlin so i could rest and recover on my own terms that s where i am now sitting with my laptop or schleptop as we say in yiddish at a café in neukölln eating vegan cake and thinking that actually an awful lot went on in the last year i ve gotten used to the way the jewish year is inverted in the southern hemisphere pesach in autumn hannukah in summer but in my mind i still associate the month of tishrei with migrating birds flowering squill and the palestinian autumn tishrei in northern europe is different again the days are sunny still and biting what my francophone flatmate calls raw cold i m trying to work out what my aspirations are for this year i feel restless and impatient i m tired of being tired i m tired of small victories i want the world to be alright now i want peace in syria in palestine and in the rest of the levant i want an end to violence against women especially trans women i want to be part of a jewish community that embraces diaspora not settler colonialism i want the work that i do and that i m passionate about to be enough to meet my material needs i want to keep learning stuff i want plenty of time to lie in the sun make out with my love and pet cute dogs i want to look back in tishrei 5777 and feel like i made the world and my life slightly less shit 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