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nd call when you want to undermine women s leadership is powerful because the cultural meanings femininity weaker masculinity stronger and better do not need to be spelt out every time your audience already knows just as your audience already understands the dog whistling racism that defines the ways m āori leadership will be reported and as for being wahine m āori well let s just ask metiria turei shall we our political world has been pale male and stale since forever in aotearoa despite the stories we tell suggesting we have the best race relations in the world and the least sexism we ve had exactly two female prime ministers out of 39 and just one m āori acting prime minister who for some reason doesn t make the list of 39 james carroll in 1909 and 1911 this is the history of our political leadership and it both underpins and recreates the idea that white men should rule of right who else has the experience after all but we re seeing this chipped away at bit by bit i m not sure i can remember any other leader in aotearoa followed with a hashtag like iammetiria people know they have to hashtag difference and they want to the calling out of the media sexism jacinda ardern has already faced down with ease in her first few days began inside the media itself with veteran broadcaster hillary barry hitting the nail on the head and bless gareth morgan with his harking back to the good old days of policy analysis driving media he has never looked more aligned with the other rude old white men in new zealand and partly i think that s kind of a shame because i would genuinely like to see media analysis focusing on the impacts of policy this election i m just not sure that i ever have 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday 8 august 2017 the lies we tell to get by at 10 07 am by julie i have a boyfriend please leave me alone yes i am totally mentally distraught about this pregnancy and would get lots worse if i had to continue please give me an abortion no extra flatmates please give me enough resources to support my whanau it s not you it s me please let me go i m driving tonight please don t spike my drink maybe i m not sure but perhaps we could do it this way please listen to my excellent idea no i don t mind you asking me if i m having more kids it s okay please don t get angry with me sure i can work late please see my worth oh yes baby is a great sleeper please think i m a good parent thanks you look great too please stop talking about my appearance we live in a society where women often need to lie to get by honesty is often the preserve of those who have a high level of safety and comfort may we live in a world where we don t need to lie to get by we don t live there yet 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest categories abortion law reform being nice benefits employment not sprogging social justice sprogging violence against women friday 28 july 2017 teen vogue and anal sex at 12 00 pm by ludditejourno content note discusses sexual violence transphobia and anal sex the tidal wave of critique teen vogue set off by writing an anal sex 101 post a few weeks back has just washed up in aotearoa with various nz feminist facebook sites posting criticisms labeling teen vogue misogynist or just plain not woke our feminist sites are not including the christian fundamentalists and moral conservatives flack that sex is dirty bad and should only be joylessly discussed by someone s parents well that s a little facetious but it s been a long time since i ve seen sodomy so liberally sprinkled through my feed the teen vogue article opens when it comes to your body it s important that you have the facts being in the dark is not doing your sexual health or self understanding any favors with that sentiment in mind we re here to lay it all out for you when it comes to anal sex it s important that we talk about all kinds of sex because not everyone is having or wants to have penis in the vagina sex if you do have penis in the vagina sex and are curious about something else or are finding that that type of sex is not for you and you d just like to explore other options it s helpful to know the facts even if you do learn more and decide anal sex is not a thing you d like to try it doesn t hurt to have the information if you re not comfortable reading about anal sex that s perfectly ok too we have plenty of other articles around a variety of issues and wellness feel free to click out if you d like no pressure at all it goes on to describe how anal sex works making a distinction between prostrate owners and non prostrate owners in terms of kinds of sexual pleasure someone can expect it s factual accurate as far as i can tell with my non prostrate owning body and focused on consent whether you are planning to give or receive anal sex a conversation must take place beforehand enthusiastic consent is necessary for both parties to enjoy the experience asking for anal can be a bit daunting no matter who you are have a one on one with your partner and let them know that this is something you want to try be honest about your feelings about it in a healthy relationship you should be able to discuss anything openly everyone wants to have a good experience this resource gives people wanting to negotiate anal sex a good sense of how bodies work it s queer and trans inclusive through not using ideas of women or men which don t include trans and non binary people and not making assumptions about who is doing what and it talks about consent not just in the passages i ve highlighted but through the article making explicit that while anal sex might be some folks cup of tea for others it won t be on the bucket list and that s just fine and the feminist critique well a little bit like the moral brigades there s some fairly explicit lip curling about sex going on in meghan murphy s response yes some women claim to enjoy anal sex which is fine if true but failing to discuss these basics in an article presenting itself as sex positive body positive and educational is incredibly weird nothing more anti feminist frankly than not believing things women claim particularly in relation to things sexual when women s claims of sexual violence say are queried in terms of their truth most people who call themselves feminist know which side we are on this particular aspect the sex negativity and therefore conflation of anal sex with sexual violence screams out in these critiques i am terrified reading a study by dr cicely marston from the london school of hygiene and tropical medicine titled anal heterosex amongst young people bmj 2014 some of the comments from girls who have experienced painful attempts at coerced anal sex are difficult to read as a both a feminist and as a mother i hope that author would find people s descriptions of painful attempts at coerced vaginal sex just as horrifying because the issue here is consent not what kind of sexual activity folks are engaging in and then there is the transphobia ms murphy s blog and the others that follow literally drip with the stuff the problem is that the article included a glaring anatomical error failed to address any of the larger contexts surrounding anal sex and women namely patriarchy and completely erased women from the conversation literally neither the word woman or the word female appear once in the entire article even the diagram depicting female and male anatomy uses the terms prostate owner and non prostate owner uncomfortably reminiscent of green party women s call to non men last year and engle uses the term vagina owners in order to avoid uttering the horribly offensive word women the glaring anatomical error here is not teen vogue s but the idea that talking about women without including trans women is acceptable particularly in an article about sexual health the idea that trans men will have their experiences covered when it s assumed all men have penises and yes ms murphy some folks will not know where it place themselves in an article about men and women and some of us are not even only having sex with people with different genders ms murphy has quite some form here leaving rabble in canada after petitions from many feminist groups challenged her writing her feminist current site seems to promote transphobia pretty regularly in april 2017 riley j dennis a writer youtuber and trans activist who identifies as a non binary transwoman and is in a relationship with a woman which you d be forgiven for assuming is simply a heterosexual relationship posted a video asking the question are genital preferences transphobic feminism can and should be debating what consent means what sex looks like when it s fun for everyone involved how we include all kinds of women in our conversations about sexist oppression including in relation to sex but that s not what these feminist critiques are doing i m sad to see them being promoted by established feminist groups in new zealand to be honest i expected a better level of analysis i ll be over here reading teen vogue 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday 17 july 2017 not yet time for a lady time lord at 11 59 am by julie look i know it s probably unexpected but i don t support a female doctor who why would we do that why would we pretend that it s ok for a shape shifting time travelling immortal alien to be portrayed as anything and by anyone other than a probably straight white man who has spoken english from birth sure missy shows that time lords can change their bits as mr x pointed out to me but really that just proves the point missy the master is a villain character usually and they do all sorts of weird and not normal things being female is clearly just another one of those aberrations also what will we do with all the toilet seats in the tardis will they have to be permanently glued down now oh the in humanity surely doctor who isn t the doctor without a sonic screwdriver don t mention capaldi s sunglasses sssshhhhh never happened and we can t expect a lady to carry around a manly tool of that type penis compensator especially as her clothes won t have any real pockets will she have a sonic silicon pot holder instead can t see much lock picking and computery twiddling happening with that finally and this will be hard for some readers to accept but our society just isn t ready there are still countries in the world where women have not yet been state leader can t be lawyers have little access to education are barred from driving and even voting we should be working hard on all of that not rejoicing at the mere breakthrough of a woman playing an iconic tv character who has inspired generations and is at the apex of the world s biggest english language fandoms look away from the small beautiful victories and see how we still fail despair at our lack of power not stomp our feet as the cliffs crumble do not ever hope i don t do comments here anymore you can find me easy peasy on twitter juliefairey and similarly on facebook email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest categories doctor who science fiction stupid sexists sunday 16 july 2017 feminist election stuff women s choice vote equal pay at 5 41 pm by julie two big auckland opportunities coming up in august women s choice election forum 7th august 7pm university of auckland held every three years an opportunity to hear the major parties debate on women s issues facebook event for all the latest info and to share invite others chair will be judy mcgregor stalls for organisations and cool stuff eg women s bookshop before hand and reps from labour jacinda ardern mp greens jan logie mp nz first tracey martin mp maori party cinnamon whitlock ngapuhi ngati kahu ki whangaroa te rarawa mana party tracey lee repia ngapuhi ngati porou uenuku nga iwi national erica stanford vote equal pay march rally 12th august 11am britomart organised by the pay equity coalition a chance to show your support for pay equity and also hear from political parties on how they will tackle the gender pay gap facebook event for updates and to spread the word do feel free to email me about any other relevant feminist election stuff julie dot fairey at gmail dot com to promote and share 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest categories 2017 general election equal pay feminist events nz politics pay equity friday 9 june 2017 colin craig is an abuser at 11 02 am by julie in between the comey trump and british election news this morning was this colin craig is planning to sue rachel macgregor for defamation this is yet another way of abusing his former press secretary who already took him to the human rights commission hrc for harassment resulting in a confidential agreement and a financial settlement in her favour macgregor s agency has been continually stripped by craig throughout this long saga first when she was his employee during the hrc mediation including saying he d put aside 1m to destroy her then when he did that terrible sauna interview and broke confidentiality and later with further media comments along similar lines most recently as he and other men with resources keep taking each other to court for defamation macgregor has been forced to be a witness and to even be cross examined directly by craig this is abuse because he has resources and money craig is able to continue to use the legal system to abuse sadly this is all too common where the court is used by abusive men to control punish and exhaust former partners as outlined in a shocking recent out of the frying pan into the fire report from the backbone collective including women told us that even though initially they went to the family court after separating from an abuser seeking protection and safety they now wish they had never done so for these women the family court has become the new abuser and many have told us it is worse than the abuser they have been unable to rebuild their lives as they are trapped in family court proceedings for years during this time they continue to be exposed to violence abuse and associated trauma and they are unable to move on in any way and women s harmful experience of the family court was made much worse because of the compounding effect of time spent in court proceedings the increasing financial burden and the multiple health impacts they identified that there was no logical start or end point in the proceedings once they got involved in the family court they found it impossible to get out many said they were just hanging out until their child turned 16 and they no longer had to be involved sound familiar the out of the frying pan into the fire report refers to litigation legal abuse and i am in no doubt that is what craig is doing to macgregor albeit through defamation proceedings rather than in the family court no doubt there are many other s...