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faint of heart sadly my backyard looks like the the arse tail end of a force 10 gale it s obvious i can t rely on fly away light weight seating and now my bird bath s a fallen memorial to wetter days oh no my shady glasshouse has taken a pane full beating now the neighbors can clearly gaze on the pot plants i raise weather wise we had one wild kick ass of a start to august but on the upside it means in theory only four more weeks of winter so much for another weekend quietly pottering around in the potting shed when i get home or just parking the car or go in the yard just to water the plants those nosey neighbors looking at me through a hole in the fence or from behind a tree nosey neighbors leave me alone dave davies nosey neighbors obbverse obbverse humour anxiety wordplay light verse comic verse true story 15 comments august 1 2026 1 minute bye bye birdie i m sorry i ll write that again bye bye billy bill oddie july 7 1941 25 july 2026 one of the good uns just a short note on bill oddie who s left behind his work and body could bill make you belly laugh blimey silly billy could not half comic writer funny singer a silly voice three acts packed in one spoilt for choice though having bipolar on the brain meant sometimes laughing through the pain but could he make us bust a gut could he we ve not lost just a golden oldie but a goodie now he s surely off upstairs laughing with him likely after his audience he ll meet up with tim now there s two likely lads above who think alike but for us down here it s bye bill off on your bike no sincerely thank you bill but the fun ain t done so long and good to know we ll see you on a rerun tim brooke taylor the first of the fabled goodies to depart and another of our childhood comic heroes goes when you feel things have gone too far just sing que sera sera and you ll feel much worse so wear a happy grin all day and they ll have you put away and you ll feel much worse bill oddie and you ll feel much worse obbverse obbverse aging black humor comic verse depression entertainment humour light verse loss mental health nostalgia obituary poetry wordplay 39 comments july 29 2026 july 29 2026 1 minute a day to duly remember a day of high expectations a day someone painfully remembered history in the making this morning i woke with a long slow smile a distantly familiar tune playing on my mind i haven t anticipated a day like this for a while feels like christmas and thanksgiving combined today s the day that many regard as outstanding today is the anniversary of the first moon landing also the day i arrived on earth at ten pound eleven although i can t say i m an angel fallen from heaven rare is the fine day i don t find miserable and grey but dawn heralds no ordinary doom and gloomy day today i ll happily accept all life presents throws at me this day i was delivered eight months after pa begat me apparently i was conceived neath a moon full glowing eight months later and ma was fed up plus ever growing while i put my birthday on moon landing day down to fate ma is awful glad she had me early not some august later date happy birthday to you happy birthday to me happy birthday dear obnoxious happy birthday to you baby if i d known you d be such a big head i d have smoked two packs a day but now it s getting late and the moon is climbing high i want to celebrate see it shining in your eye because i m still in love with you neil young harvest moon obbverse obbverse aging comic verse history humour light verse poetry true story wordplay 30 comments july 20 2026 july 26 2026 1 minute world cup football soccer exactly what manner of game is this good as gilded gold since england s glorious days of 66 england s been in dire need of a match fix for 60 years they ve won sod all honours wise england s sucked at football in 26 a well beaten semi finalist another failure to add to the lengthening list so they ll play pointlessly for third an absurd honour scarce deserving of the word so when pitched up against france few would give old blighty the slightest chance the betting firms offered oddly long numbers yet the old three lions arose from their slumbers from the first whistle blasting forth wounded england would not settle for fourth but france battled back like never before no it s not cricket england winning by six to four both attacks great both defences inde frikkin fensible searching for something to say flashing lights up in the sky giving up i close my eye sitting slack jawed on the floor chicago 25 or 6 to 4 ok the real line is sitting cross legged on the floor but that doesn t quite show the sheer stupendousness of watching this madcap match obbverse obbverse anxiety comic verse football history humour light verse poetry soccer sport wordplay 21 comments july 19 2026 july 19 2026 1 minute you can t hurry love sometimes you just have to wait that special someone when simple love is all a gentleman seeks he looks beyond society s airs and graces once you ve searched all the chic boutiques can love strike in altogether unfamiliar places his peers introduced him to their daughters at banquets he often found himself placed between hiltons du ponts and goldwaters none of those rich byrds appealed to his taste he was handsome young and rich but still how he wished his empty life had more in store felt he d feel fulfilled to feel loves deep thrill he stepped through another big arched door here might he meet the one he deserved to find the address one he had dared one day to enter all new company to him seemingly most refined but someone special stood out front and centre from across the loud and crowded room their eyes met and instantaneously he knew indisputably this one was the one to whom his deepest desires urgently be relayed to he could only stop and stare he felt the the longing the desire for something so precious and rare he d risk the flames of hell fire she suspected it was her dress that had drawn his attention nevertheless she had to confess that was expressly the intention he stumbled for the words to say tho she didn t mind him deliberating he might be taking a year and a day but there she stood smiling waiting tremulously he opened his mouth wordlessly he clammed it shut again confidence not so much going south as going completely down the drain his eyes would scarcely meet hers at all he tried anew but his tongue failed to obey he felt his blush rise she saw his eyes fall but she knew she could not walk away other gents stared jealousy undisguised as still they stood silent eyes still locked no good lady s time should be monopolised and still his pocket watch ticked tocked after an eternity with stumbling voice he spoke low the words emerging slow she daren t move knew she had no choice whatever he may say she needed to know his words seemed to catch in his throat yet sometimes one glance can say so much and so he wrote her a short heartfelt note his manly hand trembled at her soft touch his missive written oh so sweetly was a simple but impassioned request she read it and time stopped completely as she crushed his token to her breast she gazed up at his expectant face his hopes his wants could not be writ clearer she had waited long with maidenly grace now smilingly she bade him come nearer in his eyes she could see his yearning his pleasure she did not want to ignore so with her fair cheeks hotly burning she boldly suggested a good deal more he gawked at her shocked at the offer yet the brazen proposal tempted enticed a steaming urgency was radiating off her warmth and comfort and so well priced oh he d heard of her sort of service provider that isn t how nice preppy rich girls behaved but her saucy smile finally proved the decider something naughty and spicy he now craved tho thru the dining room clamour few might hear this was neither the time nor place for idle chat urgently he pressed his lips to her quivering ear and she sighed yes sure extra fries come with that now he has formally forsaken champagne and caviar now he has a go to place to go satisfy his every want daily he ll drive down town for dinner in his town car now his gal runs the golden arches drive thru restaurant old money high society high falutin american families very select with a long stinking rich history ok yeah it s just a shaggy dog story type tale a long winded one liner of a joke but what the hell whaddaya want some shakespearean sonnets or something romance is seriously lacking at the local micky d s i like mine with lettuce and tomato heinz 57 and french fried potatoes big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer well good god almighty which way do i steer jimmy buffett cheeseburger in paradise obbverse obbverse comic verse humour light verse love poetry romance satire wordplay 30 comments july 11 2026 july 11 2026 3 minutes who rules the roost after the fur and the feathers stop flying enjoying those golden years once it seemed we were living in a menagerie assorted strays became a large part of the family with four cats two goldfish a schnauzer a cockatoo dinner time could descend into feeding time at the zoo first fat cat faded out and then there were three slowly nature runs its course as time and tide pass by first ol rover rolled over to the big dog house in the sky and then the three mangy mouseketeers were reduced to two then our yappy cockatoo went the way of the norwegian blue i found the fish floating in the bowl i flushed em bye bye so when big mama found her sixteenth year was beyond her our sole surviving ginger cat settled down no more to a wander so now with the hound gone to ground the cockatoo s said adieu our last feline is feeling fine and showing no sign that his time is due he s last in line and nine lives away from his wild blue yonder don t know the reference youtube monty python s parrot sketch in his dreams i couldn t resist an ode to our geriatric golden oldie of a cat he s a wily ol survivor of eighteen years and still going strong nine lives feeling lucky nine lives live again nine lives it ain t over nine lives live for ten aerosmith nine lives obbverse obbverse aging black humor comic verse mortality poetry wordplay 37 comments june 29 2026 1 minute ten years of stubbornly writing silly nonsense and yet i still can t just laugh it off a thousand apologies when you start up a wordpress site it s because you want to write right this staggering effort marks my one thousandth post i say this humbly as a cold hard fact not a proud boast this protracted journey journal started off slow and unsure and at times the joy of on time online writing lost its allure at times like these i feel inclined to leave these witterings behind for a full decade i ve been posting trying to raise a smile but clambering over writer s block became an ongoing trial sometimes it s a hard slog writing this blog s doggerel verses then s when the wordplay bogs down into a welter of curses then i stop say for chr cripes sake give yourself a fu frikkin break but then somehow those voices in my head won t shut up silence means the pressure has nowhere to build but up and eventually i can t remain dumb but must say my piece just must spill my guts spill the beans such a sweet release once i restart there ain t no quittin it s like verbal diarrhoea but written oh yeah when it comes to shit outhouse humour i ll spout it for there is fun to be had in funny writing no doubt about it but the idea of redoubling this grand effort in ten years hence will test this scribes endurance and the patience of my audience by then of course i might ve kicked the bucket if so make my last word on funny writing stuff it ten years of clowning around and still i m jolly well smiling through well hello there my it s been a long long time how am i doin huh i guess i m doin fine it s been so long now and it seems that it was only yesterday gee ain t it funny how time slips away bryan ferry funny how time slips away obbverse obbverse comic verse entertainment mortality poetry true story verse wordplay 30 comments june 20 2026 1 minute once i really rock n rolled but nowadays it s shake rattle and stroll as per description when you re young n dumb some may pop some pills but now i m pop s age i ain t thrilled by pharmaceuticals there s nothing worse than at an annual medical exam trying to con vince the doc you ve stuck with her program of course i ve strayed stayed on your low fat diet ma am i ve eaten rougher rawer smaller portions and less often but soon enough more than firm resolutions began to soften yes these silly blood test results leave you and me amazed declared i as into my innocent eyes she doubtfully gazed i could feel my cheeks flush deeply as her eyebrow raised in my youth i d seen lesser mortals sicken as i stayed immune so i d zero patience for sitting idly in any doc s waiting room yes i guess i had treated this temple of a body debonairly so by my 50 s i acceded to be seen by the quack but rarely this man accepted the need to to prostrate myself but barely come early retirement and still no meds passed these lips no gut wrenching legacy of a life fuelled by beer n chips i guess it is all down to dumb luck and this dumb f guy s dna but winning life s game of chance by the cards falling your way couldn t last forever and soon the doc would have her day at first i d only gone to the good doctor for a bout of gout two allopurinols put the fire in my flaming tootsies out but she gave me a quick check up seeing i d hopped in she weighed me up saw a man who d lived a life of sin a man who d benefit from the strides taken in medicine she put me down for metformin without a second thought so sadly daly s de liteful donuts lost my daily support at my next appointment i told her i was unimpressed that the effects of metformin left me sorely distressed hearing one takes metformin orally put my mind at rest my once dear doctors open clinic door i now approach knowing her wise eyes will lock on mine full of reproach now i follow the script taking statins with my breakfast tea no high energy caffeinated cream chocca mochas for me six bitter pills to swallow with my low fat no taste muesli i guess if one wishes to ward off a case of thrombosis i must put aside my decadent days of wine and roses and sausage rolls and creamed donuts and reese s pieces banned from premium rum key lime pie and pizza s greases why i m living the life of a pauper though i m rich as croesus up with amphetamines down with yellow submarines cadbury s roses chocolates the sweetiest treatiest creamiest dreamieist succulentist decadentist chocolates you could ever hope to taste honest cross my heart my poor denied deprived hungry heart thanks to readers bruce and rik for helping to kick off this long list of medical misadventures given time every visit to the gp means another pill capsule or tablet but hey this post is just supposed to be a humourous look at aging not a full on heartfelt litany of boomer moans and groans doh nuts mmmmmmmm one to nu...