Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

2010, thursday, june, what, july, not, the, overcoming, obstickles, august, 16, 2012, 29, sunday, 11, monday, 28, 10, may, 27, about, me, is, an, obstickle, cast, of, characters, blog, archive, reading, followers, silent, all, these, years, holding, pattern, just, pretend, here, california, dreamin, binging, on, free, wifi, positive, want, don, ride, if, pregnant, why, long, silence, eventually, we, gave, it, another, try, so, now,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (146), and (125), that (82), for (51), with (45), this (42), but (32), all (28), not (28), have (26), had (24), was (22), which (20), like (19), you (18), because (18), there (18), years (17), time (17), been (17), out (16), just (16), ago (15), get (15), stick (15), about (15), week (14), now (14), much (14), around (14), one (13), were (13), back (13), more (12), they (12), pretty (12), will (12), cycle (12), can (11), really (11), some (11), day (10), could (10), kind (10), has (10), having (10), our (10), little (10), after (9), stickles (9), are (9), break (9), comments (9), went (9), two (9), anyway (9), big (9), from (9), even (9), her (9), treatment (9), femara (9), would (8), thing (8), 2010 (8), see (8), mcqueen (8), posted (8), things (8), pregnant (8), didn (8), don (8), going (8), then (8), fertility (8), actually (8), infertility (7), first (7), good (7), here (7), only (7), think (7), without (7), love (7), tea (7), doing (7), over (6), what (6), june (6), these (6), best (6), ever (6), into (6), labels (6), your (6), means (6), thought (6), than (6), last (6), right (6), friends (6), whole (6), other (6), ttc (6), nothing (6), another (6), coming (6), any (6), baby (5), make (5), well (5), life (5), infertile (5), got (5), blog (5), feel (5), still (5), before (5), who (5), thursday (5), uti (5), did (5), yet (5), keeping (5), both (5), california (5), why (5), want (5), made (5), how (5), few (5), lot (5), past (5), their (5), next (5), should (5), felt (5), through (5), said (5), laparoscopy (5), embryo (4), many (4), end (4), days (4), reading (4), may (4), came (4), read (4), enough (4), mind (4), blogosphere (4), anything (4), home (4), being (4), getting (4), women (4), fun (4), while (4), where (4), every (4), ride (4), between (4), positive (4), rather (4), when (4), myself (4), living (4), chance (4), post (4), holding (4), feeling (4), though (4), keep (4), know (4), austin (4), summer (4), long (4), fact (4), probably (4), talk (4), wasn (4), better (4), news (4), pfc (4), take (4), decided (4), eggs (3), sew (3), july (3), 2012 (3), obstickles (3), complete (3), mother (3), them (3), count (3), type (3), except (3), soon (3), sure (3), tested (3), during (3), away (3), worse (3), such (3), earlier (3), started (3), longer (3), sorry (3), fingers (3), crossed (3), ureaplasma (3), maybe (3), case (3), place (3), since (3), hopefully (3), blogs (3), find (3), seem (3), free (3), mostly (3), work (3), leave (3), body (3), ovulated (3), hope (3), managed (3), nice (3), lots (3), most (3), regular (3), haven (3), seems (3), trying (3), san (3), francisco (3), course (3), moment (3), she (3), together (3), city (3), union (3), square (3), drank (3), parade (3), seen (3), everyone (3), again (3), pacific (3), center (3), consultation (3), also (3), blogging (3), considering (3), say (3), babies (3), second (3), sit (3), family (3), makes (3), clomid (3), start (3), him (3), option (3), live (3), iui (3), insurance (3), single (3), ivf (3), injectibles (3), try (3), found (3), put (3), far (3), laughed (2), closing (2), chances (2), blogger (2), glum (2), bunny (2), became (2), journey (2), delinquent (2), takes (2), battle (2), womb (2), improvement (2), children (2), apparently (2), evolutionary (2), dead (2), march (2), silent (2), august (2), loving (2), occasionally (2), maternal (2), clinic (2), fetch (2), never (2), word (2), sticks (2), ones (2), pee (2), stuck (2), lexicon (2), covered (2), conversation (2), posts (2), come (2), top (2), list (2), today (2), ginormous (2), waterparks (2), major (2), somewhere (2), left (2), sign (2), warning (2), against (2), goes (2), fellow (2), samantha (2), reason (2), test (2), wrong (2), symptoms (2), month (2), gone (2), bear (2), months (2), least (2), antibiotics (2), wants (2), mycoplasma (2), urologist (2), answers (2), side (2), head (2), once (2), settled (2), sound (2), freakin (2), internet (2), wifi (2), neighborhood (2), done (2), company (2), knows (2), wise (2), usually (2), content (2), straight (2), dogs (2), instead (2), bit (2), doesn (2), sitting (2), outside (2), looking (2), share (2), yoga (2), eating (2), yummy (2), happy (2), tried (2), iclw (2), manage (2), affair (2), new (2), weeks (2), town (2), number (2), meals (2), great (2), upcoming (2), fall (2), flew (2), friend (2), birthday (2), weekend (2), room (2), front (2), regularly (2), acupuncture (2), allergies (2), call (2), explain (2), unexplained (2), knew (2), until (2), sore (2), honestly (2), feels (2), need (2), ridiculously (2), trimester (2), forward (2), strange (2), knowing (2), anxious (2), wishing (2), island (2), remember (2), turned (2), mean (2), less (2), year (2), stupid (2), completely (2), early (2), travel (2), stress (2), fsh (2), wait (2), pattern (2), job (2), almost (2), forgotten (2), data (2), interesting (2), helpful (2), pursue (2), reasons (2), patience (2), persistence (2), definitely (2), decent (2), same (2), testing (2), own (2), young (2), says (2), concern (2), multiples (2), give (2), won (2), lining (2), saying (2), anyone (2), exactly (2), terribly (2), somehow (2), depression (2), adoption (2), spent (2), silence (2), shot (2), possible (2), cycles (2), rest (2), trigger (2), store (2), towards (2), closure (2), thank (2), overcoming (2), skip (2), followers, spermination, station, busted, plumbing, among, blossoms, elusive, apron, strings, emily, dieting, moved, hannah, wept, sarah, remarks, half, fare, thee, support, yours, mine, beckie, epilogue, quick, crms, bee, tus, middle, wanting, brooklyn, cold, pressed, organic, kir, corner, consumption, stirrup, queens, april, archive, recovering, perfectionist, occasional, drama, queen, pursuer, motherhood, patient, clueless, husband, dog, recipient, pent, energy, ganesh, divine, remover, obstacles, supportive, team, acupuncturists, poke, cast, characters, term, truly, formulate, definition, submit, brought, whimsical, combination, obstetricians, plus, obvious, homophonic, meaning, woo, hoo, celebrity, updated, add, womb4improvement, obstickle, view, profile, 36yo, happily, married, 42yo, ubergeek, waiting, fur, details, icomleavwe, join, subscribe, atom, older, sushi, alcohol, caffeine, naturally, scary, thrill, rides, actual, roller, coasters, per, played, hooky, schlitterbahn, darn, waterpark, sprawling, complex, basically, three, mini, everything, running, saver, special, opened, school, session, slide, times, lost, wish, camera, conveniently, duh, water, everywhere, expectant, mothers, riding, accompanied, seeing, umpteenth, wow, international, lol, boy, cracks, speaking, shout, bloggers, cannot, master, blaster, dragon, revenge, congratulations, sticky, vibes, leslie, adele, nightmare, hoping, change, names, graphic, stork, carrying, red, circle, slash, weep, ladies, suspicious, blood, cells, urine, descended, upon, reprieve, forever, frank, bfn, wimp, comes, pain, labor, meds, kid, minor, meltdown, dragging, kick, broken, glass, nether, regions, too, descriptive, stay, acupuncturist, causing, gets, strike, especially, rubs, elbows, permanent, relief, beast, higher, priority, bright, saturday, absent, wrapping, packing, promise, touch, pepper, wit, possibly, monster, known, safe, previous, tenant, stole, router, wireless, otherwise, nearly, joking, amish, easy, access, clients, taking, harder, fielded, calls, asking, dropped, off, earth, luckily, surrounded, cafes, hopping, daily, fix, focusing, couple, sporadic, landlord, property, management, forth, replace, grrr, finished, crap, system, turns, conceive, down, different, vibrant, environment, mission, castro, districts, gay, couples, walking, kids, fit, hick, heel, behave, citified, heels, cafe, tuna, sandwich, signed, studio, nearby, ethnic, places, produce, markets, send, thoughts, preggie, alike, comment, haunts, binging, omg, mia, suspense, commenting, amazing, lives, client, workload, opposite, planned, iron, commenter, appearance, short, explanation, mad, faithful, knowledge, urging, wring, joy, paramour, highlights, sister, ate, bakeries, local, eateries, stomachs, declared, limited, each, dress, wear, wedding, threw, bachelorette, tickets, wicked, held, lovely, bridal, shower, childhood, gangbusters, sooner, sis, college, fisherman, wharf, marina, chinatown, north, beach, afternoon, crown, crumpet, wine, hotel, credit, card, damage, shops, pride, inundated, parties, watch, yesterday, morning, colorful, joyful, celebrations, spectators, looked, cd1, busy, barely, noticed, avoid, season, able, mention, semi, annual, sale, victoria, secret, giving, boost, thanks, hardpartying, ways, boatload, catch, sprinkling, air, dreamin, monday, breasts, lately, signing, accountability, improve, title, refers, become, addicted, high, abundance, affordable, tearooms, adjective, swear, knocked, educated, adult, pass, hours, either, naive, asinine, pregnancy, sick, reassuring, stages, telling, look, part, tryptich, excited, barren, bitch, serenely, smiled, 2nd, pot, iced, oops, presence, inclusive, subjects, food, marriage, etc, horrible, incredible, sense, humor, snacks, overestimated, ability, useless, bag, dysfunctional, woman, parts, agreed, tons, dinner, respective, spouses, later, quote, inevitable, moments, wretchedness, prepared, lean, happened, fanfare, regrettably, death, affirming, spend, funeral, qualifies, hit, advanced, age, western, medical, terms, total, temping, peeing, sex, mood, forgot, freeing, reluctant, train, schedule, tell, boobs, karen, girls, wonky, suddenly, reset, anovulatory, tuesday, 20th, herbert, strategically, scheduled, happen, damn, above, correct, hrmph, pretend, sunday, glad, given, drifting, peaceful, wholly, unproductive, land, called, denial, hasn, usual, shorter, approaching, normal, wonder, hour, heavy, breathing, bunch, female, yogis, whatever, keeps, finally, reporting, warm, friendly, enjoyed, overly, tempted, texas, following, resting, october, screw, intercourse, window, decide, whether, ferry, ville, overworked, create, procedure, timing, squeeze, looks, ovulate, shuffle, difficult, covers, network, provider, ironically, cover, proceeded, style, cost, close, ignore, costs, treatments, lastly, further, antral, follicle, double, check, ovarian, reserve, endometriosis, undergoing, surgery, interestingly, encouraged, transfer, concerned, rate, moving, success, rates, doubles, terrifies, thinks, letrozole, thin, proponent, pharmaceutical, issued, letter, meant, uses, causes, doctors, south, southwest, tend, conservative, using, believer, cause, cultures, particularly, proceed, potential, factor, push, inertia, bleh, introducing, yeah, totally, suck, disappear, pop, wave, lurk, yay, figured, courtesy, update, burning, curiosity, cut, chase, those, care, worrying, babymaking, eager, jump, treadmill, translated, succumbing, winter, rut, couldn, bring, neither, move, toward, childfree, accomplishing, berating, failure, general, therapy, devolved, point, bed, night, wouldn, wake, wonderful, therapist, disorder, parent, divorce, help, chunk, 2011, putting, humpty, dumpty, radio, partly, shame, thrilled, contribute, tales, switched, fronts, rolled, bravely, board, fresh, specialist, neglected, return, forsaken, uneasy, sooooo, skin, cleared, moods, lightened, joke, antidepressant, grow, despite, thrown, worked, under, knife, impairing, told, indicated, needed, worth, revealed, healthy, uterus, ovaries, intact, clear, tubes, beautiful, inside, confirms, strangely, helping, profoundly, answer, ambiguity, sort, peace, calling, quits, recently, proved, unsuccessful, stop, extra, lying, refrigerator, spontaneously, ridiculous, ovidrel, shots, approved, delivered, waste, miniscule, might, ton, expectations, adding, aside, vacation, schedules, hard, deliver, hormones, decision, history, breast, cancer, evidence, linking, murky, giuliana, rancic, scared, badly, his, words, increasing, risk, losing, willing, optimistic, universe, denied, plans, happening, space, suffice, exciting, certainly, possibility, urgent, ticking, clock, visit, hoped, wondering, address, bottom, heart, dropping, nary, humbly, forgiveness, eventually, gave, freaking, heading, sight, sidebar, main,

Text of the page (random words):
only confirms that we have unexplained infertility but strangely enough and i can t explain exactly why this is so but dr k was right in that it s helping put my mind to rest this may sound profoundly stupid but knowing for a fact that i don t have any answers is kind of like having an answer somehow it s been possible for me to live in the ambiguity of it and i m coming to a sort of peace about it so what now i m going to be calling it quits pretty soon on my ttc journey we tried another femara cycle after the laparoscopy which recently proved unsuccessful i d actually stop now if not for an extra trigger shot i have lying around in my refrigerator because i ovulated spontaneously on one of my treatment cycles i went through so much ridiculous sh t with my insurance getting these ovidrel shots approved and delivered that i just don t want it to go to waste so while there s a miniscule chance this next femara cycle might actually take i m really just doing it because it s there with not a whole ton of expectations for it i decided against adding injectibles aside from the trigger to this upcoming cycle because we both have travel vacation schedules coming up that will make it hard to deliver and store the hormones and mr stick and i made the decision some time ago that ivf will not be an option because i have a history of breast cancer in my family any evidence linking the two is murky at best but the whole thing with giuliana rancic scared mr stick pretty badly in his own words i d rather not take the chance for increasing our family if it means that there s any risk at all of losing you i m feeling good about all of this much more so than 2 years ago i feel that we went as far as we were willing to go and i am optimistic that the universe that has so far denied us children has some other more interesting plans in store for us there s definitely been other things happening in our live this past year that i haven t had the time or space to go into but suffice to say it could be exciting adoption is certainly a possibility but as it has less of an urgent ticking clock we probably won t visit it for some time anyway because i seem to be coming towards some kind of closure not kind i had hoped for but closure just the same it felt right to put the news out there in case some of you were wondering i m not sure how much more i ll be blogging here once we re done with ttc but i may start up another blog and be better about keeping it up and will post the address here if anyone wants to keep up if you ve read this far thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and i m so so sorry for dropping out with nary a word and humbly thank you for your patience and forgiveness posted by stickles mcqueen at 3 37 pm 2 comments thursday july 29 2010 holding pattern glad you haven t given up on me yet i ve been in a bit of a holding pattern these past few weeks drifting in and out of that peaceful yet wholly unproductive land called denial i m doing a really good job of this break thing so much so that i m not even reading up on your blogs as i usually do because i ve almost forgotten that i m infertile my body hasn t forgotten though and my cycle started as usual it was a little shorter this time around which means it s actually approaching normal wonder if it s the acupuncture or the hour a day of heavy breathing in a room with a bunch of other female yogis that s doing it whatever it is i hope it keeps up introducing dr h so i finally had my consultation with pacific fertility center last week leave it to me to sit on the data for a whole week before reporting it these days dr h was really warm and friendly and i enjoyed my conversation with him a lot and got some rather interesting but not overly helpful data he s not a big believer in mycoplasma ureaplasma as a cause for if and he doesn t think that cultures are particularly helpful so if i want to proceed in looking into ureaplasma as a potential factor i ll probably have to push testing and treatment through my urologist there s enough inertia in me that makes me not want to do this at the moment bleh he thinks i should give letrozole femara a try because it won t thin my lining like clomid would dr g had not been a proponent of femara saying that the pharmaceutical company that makes it issued a letter saying that it wasn t meant for infertility treatment dr h said that pfc uses it regularly without any major causes for concern and that doctors in the south and southwest tend to be more conservative around using it dr h also interestingly encouraged that after femara we go straight to single embryo transfer ivf if i m concerned about the rate of multiples with moving on to injectibles he said that their success for single embryo are almost as good as their rates with doubles at their clinic i think that if i were to do ivf i d do single embryo anyway the thought of multiples completely terrifies me and it s one of the big reasons why i didn t pursue if treatment earlier lastly he said that we could do further testing like a 3 day fsh and antral follicle count to double check ovarian reserve but he felt that because i ovulated on my own and was still young ha i love it that he says i m young that it wasn t a big concern he also wasn t big on getting a laparoscopy since i have no symptoms of endometriosis and my chances of having it were like 20 so there d be an 80 chance i d be undergoing surgery for no reason so now what well i don t really know i m tempted to sit out for the next few months still and then pursue treatment back in texas this fall for the following reasons mr stick s new job has pretty decent insurance that covers if treatment but pfc is not an in network provider where dr g is ironically if the insurance didn t cover if i d have just proceeded with pfc because i like their style and the cost would ve been close to the same but i can t just ignore the fact that we d get 50 of our costs with dr g covered if i stick to doing treatments with him the timing is such that i can squeeze in one femara cycle in california but it looks like i will ovulate around the time we leave which would make doing the iui shuffle rather difficult mr stick is ridiculously overworked at the moment so even if iui were an option it d definitely create more stress on him to do the procedure on my next cycle so i m kind of resting somewhere between patience wait until october and well maybe get pregnant by then ha or persistence screw it call pfc and do a femara with intercourse cycle my window for the persistence option is closing soon so i pretty much need to decide over the next few days whether i m going to live on take a break island for a little longer or take the ferry back to trying ville posted by stickles mcqueen at 4 32 pm 7 comments labels break sunday july 11 2010 just pretend i m not here which you probably should since i can t seem to keep up with this blogging thing lately i m actually considering signing up for iclw this month to see if having a little accountability will improve things but really the title of this post refers to a tea i had with two of my friends i ve become addicted to high tea in san francisco the city has an abundance of affordable tearooms earlier this week two of my pregnant friends i should say but it honestly feels like i don t even need that adjective because i swear to you that it seems like all of my friends are pregnant i should ve seen it coming considering i knew they were both knocked up but i thought that as educated adult women in our 30 s we could pass 2 to 3 hours together without having to talk about babies and being pregnant the whole freakin time either i m ridiculously naive or pregnant women are just asinine probably a little of both what made it worse i think is that this is a s first pregnancy and m s second so all a could talk about was about how sick she was during her first trimester with m reassuring her about all the stages and telling her all the things she could look forward to in her second trimester i felt like i was part of a strange tryptich the wise and knowing second time mother the anxious and excited first time mother and me the barren bitch anyway i serenely smiled through the whole thing and drank my tea i drank a lot of tea by my 2nd pot i was kind of wishing they were the long island iced kind and when they did remember that oops they were sitting in the presence of an infertile talk turned to more inclusive subjects like work food marriage etc i mean it wasn t all horrible they are both incredible and positive women they have a great sense of humor and the tea and snacks were yummy i think i just overestimated my ability to sit through all that baby talk without feeling a little like a useless bag of dysfunctional woman parts by the end of the day and of course i agreed with them by the end of the tea that it d be tons of fun to have dinner with them and our respective spouses later this summer which it would but to quote fellow blogger glum bunny there will be inevitable moments of wretchedness at least i ll be better prepared this time around and i ll have mr stick there to lean on in other ttc news i turned 34 last week which happened with little fanfare as regrettably there was a death in the family it s a strange yet life affirming thing to spend one s birthday at a funeral home anyway this qualifies as ttc news because it means that i have less than a year before i hit advanced maternal age stupid western medical terms i can honestly say that this last cycle was a total break no temping no peeing on sticks and having sex only when we re in the mood i forgot how freeing this feels it actually makes me reluctant to get back on the ttc train schedule that said though i can tell from my boobs i feel like karen from mean girls that this cycle is completely wonky they ve been sore all week which of course means af is coming but they re more than a week early i don t know if being here has suddenly reset me to a 28 day cycle san francisco is better than clomid or if my body went anovulatory from travel stress i have a consultation with pacific fertility center on tuesday the 20th with dr herbert which i thought i had strategically scheduled to happen at the start of my cycle i want that day 3 fsh test damn it but if the above is correct then we ll have to wait through another cycle and there goes the summer hrmph posted by stickles mcqueen at 1 05 pm 14 comments labels break sore breasts monday june 28 2010 california dreamin omg i really have been mia haven t i anyway sorry for holding you all up in suspense and even worse not keeping up with and commenting on your amazing lives i thought that by not having my regular client workload i d have a lot more free time here but it seems to be the opposite i even planned on trying for iron commenter for the june iclw but i didn t even manage to make my regular appearance ha the short explanation is that san francisco and i are having this mad love affair right now and while i know i will of course go back to my ever loving and faithful austin that knowledge is urging me to wring every moment of joy out of this summer with my new paramour some highlights of the past two weeks my sister came to town for a week during which we ate at as many little bakeries and local eateries as our stomachs could manage she declared that we had only a limited number of meals together so each one had to count in between meals we managed to find a really great dress for me to wear to her upcoming wedding this fall and then her friends and i threw a bachelorette day for her complete with tickets to wicked and held a lovely bridal shower at our childhood home so that week flew by like gangbusters no sooner had sis left town then my really good friend from austin n flew in with her college best friend for a long birthday weekend we pretty much went all over the city fisherman s wharf the marina chinatown north beach and union square we had afternoon tea at the crown and crumpet drank lots of wine in their hotel room and did some credit card damage at all the shops in union square then there was pride just this past weekend and our neighborhood was inundated with parties mr stick and i made it out to watch the big parade yesterday morning which was one of the most colorful and joyful celebrations i ve ever seen and while you can t have a parade without spectators i hope one day i get to march in it because everyone in the parade looked like they were having so much fun on the ttc front cd1 came and went and i was so busy i barely noticed i ve been going to yoga regularly and i started acupuncture again last week though that s mostly been for allergies the fact that i managed to avoid allergies this season in austin means nothing to sf apparently i think i m settled in enough now to call up pacific fertility center for a consultation this week or next and i m keeping my fingers crossed that maybe they ll be able to explain the unexplained also my affair with the city not to mention the semi annual sale at the ginormous victoria s secret in union square seems to be giving our love life a fun little boost so that s pretty much it thanks to my hardpartying ways i have a boatload of work to catch up on so it ll be another day or two before i get around to sprinkling comments and love but i knew that if i didn t blog right now i d never get around to it so hopefully this will keep you all going until i come up for air again posted by stickles mcqueen at 12 54 pm 11 comments labels break thursday june 10 2010 binging on free wifi so i made it to california safe and sound only to find that the previous tenant living in our place freakin stole the router so i have had no internet wireless or otherwise for nearly a week now i ve been joking around that i feel amish living without easy internet access but my clients and friends seem to be taking it much harder i ve fielded so many calls asking if i ve dropped off the earth luckily where i m living i m surrounded by cafes with free wifi so i ve been hopping all around the neighborhood to get my daily fix i ve been focusing mostly on getting work done and only now have had the chance to post and leave a couple of sporadic comments oh and the landlord and the property management company are going back and forth over who has to replace it so who knows how much longer this is going to last grrr body wise i just finished up my week of antibiotics so hopefully that uti crap is out of my system and gone for good it usually takes a few days to find out and i m keeping my fingers crossed it turns out that i ovulated the day before my uti so i m not holding out a whole lot of hope that anything managed to conceive and stick around down there even so i m feeling pretty content to be in a different place and in such a vibrant environment i m between the mission and castro districts so it s kind of nice to see lots of straight and gay couples walking arou...