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Text of the page (random words):
moment michael puts his hand on my tummy he already is a tease to say that this is all so surreal is an understatement i went from being angry yes i was angry to ambivalent to finally excited even at 26 weeks i still can t believe this is happening i feel so grateful for this experience and opportunity to add to our family we reach the 3rd trimester in 2 weeks i can t believe this is almost over posted by jonelle at 3 57 pm 8 comments labels miss a munchkin only child ren parenting pregnancy star lord surprises toddler life monday july 28 2014 i take issue with only children i didn t say this why would i i myself am an only child my child will likely be an only child as well i was in the bathroom stall at a restaurant in san diego this weekend when i overheard two ladies talking one of them was talking about her sister in law who told her that she is not having anymore children the young lady seemed perturbed at the thought of someone intentionally making their child an only child i just take issue with only children they should have a sibling she just going on about only children bringing up every myth in the book how we are all spoiled weird and lonely i came out of that bathroom stall with my tenth doctor shirt on comic con lanyard around my neck and a smile i said to her we aren t all bad us only children and went on to wash my hands i can t believe i said something to her a stranger i was having a bold day earlier i had asked alan tudyk a question at his panel for nerd hq she seemed taken aback and said oh are you an only child i m sorry i told her that it was okay that i wasn t sorry that i was an only i continued to tell her that after 9 years of infertility 2 1 2 years of waiting for an adoption match that my daughter will most likely be an only too i also made sure to tell her that i was content having an only i get to have her all my love and attention i also told her that most people don t intend to be one and done i learned that her annoyance with her sister in law s decision was mostly because sil didn t have help with the pregnancy or after sil felt old she is now 40 and didn t see the need to try again fair enough it s her decision not this young woman s she may not have seen outward complications with her sil s pregnancy but that doesn t mean sil didn t experience ppda i was surprised at this young woman s naïve attitude as she approached pregnancy like it s a right a guarantee if you have one you must have another because she saw no complications in her sil s pregnancy she called her lazy for not wanting to experience it again however it was okay for me with my history of infertility to be okay with being one and done how does that make sense it didn t matter what i said she still seemed to resent her sil for not wanting more kids all because she assumed it was her nephew s right to have a sibling because she herself wants a big family someday i hope this sil doesn t feel pressured to have another child just to appease her husband or his family i hope her husband is content with one if that is her wish to have an only child i know i struggle with the whole one and done for like a split second i often think what if i miraculously got pregnant how awesome would that be to be able to give miss a a sibling but it oftentimes doesn t work out that way i can safely say that michael and i are one and done we are open to a pregnancy should it happen though considering the odds against us it doesn t look good but we are not holding our breath to make it happen we are not open to another adoption either as the first time was draining enough i guess i m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that i got a get out of having a second child free card by this stranger while she is casting judgment on her sil people amaze me i know there are people wishing for us to have more children but considering i m on the wrong side of 35 i don t see it happening anytime soon would i like to prove myself wrong you bet but i can t hope for that kind of miracle other people can for us i can t i like where my focus is right now which is on my growing daughter i don t want to lose sight of what i have with her of what adoption has taught me and brought into my life maybe this sounds weird but i don t want her to have to share me with someone else does that sound unreasonable probably if i had the luxury of planning out my kids like other people do this wouldn t be an issue at all so all this to say watch what you talk about in the ladies room next time you are there with a friend posted by jonelle at 3 10 pm 2 comments labels infertility one and done only child ren wednesday july 9 2014 it s been awhile yes i still have a blog yes i still have things i would like to say yes i will start writing in it again let s start with an update the last time i wrote miss a was 10 months old and just started crawling well shortly after that post she also started teething in october we celebrated miss a s first birthday it was a great day though she didn t really enjoy her cake for a few months prior she was struggling to eat table food and finger foods her tongue would push out the food instead of pushing it around and back she loved cheerios but couldn t eat them just push them out at her one year wellness appointment we voiced our concern to her pediatrician she referred us to an occupational therapist miss a responded quickly to therapy we learned it wasn t a taste or texture issue but an oral motor delay and disinterest in food once those issues were resolved mealtime greatly improved in december we moved into a house no more apartment living for us in january she started walking one time while watching figure skating she took her first steps it was awesome to watch she took more steps while watching rock of ages bopping and stepping to the bon jovi s wanted dead or alive we survived our first family tummy bug in february miss a bounced back within the day i on the other hand took 3 days to recover i can no longer eat sweet potato fries and i m no longer vomit free since 85 but vomit free since 2014 has a nice ring to it in march miss a s adoption was finalized right now at 21 months miss a is about 33 in tall and wears 12 18 months clothes she is our petite flower she talks non stop loves books minnie mouse and hello kitty and if i let her she would eat cado avocado with every meal every day and week she surprises us with all the new things she wants to do she wants bigger bites of food she wants to go up and down the stairs she doesn t want us to carry her anymore though this means she must hold daddy or mommy s hand she is growing up fast i hate it but i also love it posted by jonelle at 10 26 am 2 comments labels growing up milestones miss a parenting friday august 9 2013 freezing time i realize with this blog i haven t really been writing about a i should be this blog was created to document our journey to become parents her parents and what a ride it has been she is ten months old now crawling pulling up to a kneeling position vocalizing exploring and terrorizing the cats i already miss the days when she would only communicate to us in raspberries she will never be this age again michael said one night after we put her to bed my heart sank because i knew he was right she would never be 4 months 6 months 8 months old again as much as i loved each and every stage of her infancy i could do without the 4 month sleep regression i m excited about the new stages of her life that are yet to come and the learning curve in parenting her that comes with every stage i still feel like i don t know what the heck i m doing though michael and my mom tell me i m a good mother i probably shouldn t let her play underneath her exersaucer but she is quiet and happy so why bother her i probably shouldn t let her have that unopened sealed container of tic tacs but the container is sealed i m watching her and she likes the noise it makes i probably shouldn t let her take out the disney vhs tapes on the bottom shelf but she s happy she really is a very happy easy going baby so much that i didn t even know she was teething because why would she show the obvious signs of teething no excessive drool not really fussy appetite unchanged the only out of the ordinary sign night wakings in may we took her to walt disney world two flights three time zones different sleep environment and she did wonderfully people on the plane were commenting that they didn t even know she was in their section she is constantly surprising us with her go with the flow attitude especially the 15 hour road trip we took in july to visit michael s family and introduce her to her cousins but maybe this easy going attitude we have is rubbing off on her or maybe she just likes to travel my nephews t and k meeting miss a for the first time can i honestly admit that she was worth the wait yes i can though this admission is still hard for me mostly because the waiting and the heartache sucked oftentimes reducing me to a blubbering crying mess many times it felt like ache to have a child would never end i remember pleading with god for an end to the journey the struggle and pain just give me an ending and answer god are we meant to be parents to a baby or parents to college students because i was so tired of being stuck in the middle for so long i know she is not our ending in fact she is a new beginning and we are already 10 months into that beginning and it is going by so much faster than i anticipated there are times when i wish i could freeze time so i could savor each stage of her life at my pace because i know one day i ll blink and she will going off to college posted by jonelle at 10 18 am 0 comments labels 10 months milestones miss a parenting wednesday june 26 2013 to fight or not to fight that is the question there was a recent article on huffington post about a mom in millburn nj who was beaten severely during a home invasion robbery the incident was caught on a nanny cam it s is very graphic and horrifying to watch especially when reading the article the reader learns that this woman s 3 year old daughter was on the couch witnessing her mom get beaten by this intruder after beating the mom he threw her down the basement stairs continued to rob the house of jewelry and went back to the basement to beat her again the woman tells the news reporter that she took it because she knew if she screamed her 3 year old would have screamed to so her silence was to protect her kids younger child was napping upstairs someone on my fb newsfeed posted the link to the article and most of the comments on it were along the lines of the police would have had to scrape him off the floor if it was me really in a panic would you have had the presence of mind to take the phone your child and hide or would you have stood your ground and fought back i can understand why the woman took it but again at what expense her 3 year old is traumatized hopefully not for life but she will need some sort of counseling on the other hand the assailant s attention was solely on the woman which i think was the woman s intentions i think what is bothering me are all these comments from people some of them moms oh that wouldn t be me that man wouldn t last 3 seconds the police would be sifting cornmeal through him i appreciate the ferocity in their statements i understand it and i too would fight for my life and the life of my child but saying it and doing it are two different things it s just big talk reading between the lines of these statements it is almost as if the commenters are suggesting that what this mom did or didn t do was not brave simply because she chose not to fight back considering the rage this guy had it was probably a wise choice she didn t fight back as she could have made the incident much worse i m sure fighting back went through that woman s mind i m sure she was scared out of her mind that she likely panicked not having time to grab her kid run up the stairs and lock herself in her bathroom or her baby s room and call the police maybe she quickly analyzed all the possible scenarios before realizing that the only option left was to just take it so this person would leave quickly in my 8 1 2 months of being a mom i ve had a few mama bear moments nothing compared to this woman s experience but it was a mb moment this one occurred when a was brand new and the pediatrician assigned to us was not listening when i kept telling her that a was turning blue while we were feeding her and gasping for air when we put her to sleep on her back she s got reflux what about her breathing you will need to switch formulas what about her breathing you will also need to hold her upright for 20 minutes after feeding what about her breathing thoroughly exasperated if she turns blue the next time you are feeding her take her to the er a turned blue that night three times while we were feeding her and when we attempted to burp her she was gasping for air i know what happened the ped was likely writing me off as a nervous first time mother something was wrong with my child and no one believed me once we took a to the er the nurses and the dr on call hooked a up to a pulse oxy machine and saw for themselves while i fed her that she fell into the 60s and turned a dusky ashen color they admitted her and transferred her to their children s hospital she stayed there for 10 days had surgery to open her airway endured multiple tests and was eventually cleared to go home one of the nurses hugged me and said you did the right thing bringing her in they believed me the fight was not in vain i could finally let out the breath i was holding i honestly don t know what i would have done if i was in that millburn nj woman s shoes i know i would protect my child that is a given i don t know if i would have just stood there and taken a severe beating from an intruder but if it took the attention away from my child and protected her from being assaulted then yes in the grand scheme of things i like to think that i would have taken my child called the police and hid it just pains me that this woman endured so much such a senseless act of violence for what a few hundred dollars worth of jewelry i hope she and her child make a quick recovery and get the help that they need to be able to live through this horrific incident i hope they catch the intruder so that this does not happen ever again posted by jonelle at 10 30 am 3 comments labels home invasion millburn nj mom news reflection friday may 24 2013 survivors guilt ugh has it really been five months since i last posted i swore to myself that i would keep this blog up sorry for being mia last time i wrote we were approaching the dreaded 4 month sleep regression and let me tell you that was hard we went from short naps to no naps to overtired infant and sleep deprived mom it was madness on top of that her reflux meds needed to be adjusted for her weight no wonder she didn t want to nap ...