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nsone got myself swabbed and returned home to help facilitate a general assembly via zoom for a union that s got 1 902 members at the end of the day i had a splitting headache an itchy throat an aching back and cough that got me in trouble in the 1st place i swore it was the ice cream but you can never be sure about these things anymore my barangay counts day 1 as the day i was swabbed and not the day i was exposed to a covid positive despite the circumstances i promised myself i will plow through because really i have no excuse not to that and watching captain america again last night because all access to cable netflix hbo and amazon prime have been left in the our bedroom tv captain rogers said i could do this all day so now i have to for 14 days i laugh on the inside so they placed me in the designated quarantine room in the house the room where suitcases are left to die or in the spirit of my negative negative negative thoughts where suitcases take a vacation until they get used again when we are all allowed to travel in safety i d settle for a deserted beach or a quite mountain so much finally had the time to look around my green quarantine room it was painted green because it was anang s old room whose favorite color is guess when it was painted weng and i called the color phlegm green but of course you can never convince her that it can even be that close the room however is surprisingly good for zoom meetings instant green screen i have yet to use that feature though so woke up today and decided to make the best of it moved the storage boxes 10 of them and suitcases 6 of them all with wheels around so i can have more room to walk with leslie look her up in you tube if you re stuck in a quarantine room i made space next to the window so i can look out at the fence dividing our lot and the neighbour s anang s and doray s plants and bob s fix it shop discovered my nephew s old guitar so maybe i can practice the two songs i know hehe that cracks me up my sisters and i are hoarders it s not that we don t want to throw things away our problem which is probably true with the rest of the family is that we get ideas ideas on how to make things better we tinker with a good gadget and make it worse or in some rare cases improve its functionality by making it look butt ugly and the things that we hoard are stuff that we ve set aside for some future project found plenty of those in the green room so maybe i can have a few ideas to play with in my 12 remaining quarantine days i did manage to bring my laptop an extra monitor all my external drives my art supplies and work in the green room so i will be quite busy and now that i started with captain america might as well watch all the marvel movies in chronological order every night until the end game i m writing this as i m having breakfast delivered at my door with a soft knock during mealtimes i can request for coffee or anything i need through messenger but i m not that demanding not yet i m off to do some exercises and bath to keep the spirits up then i ll be working to try to keep my sanity that will not be so easy here s to negative negative negative results and positive thoughts quarantineblues at august 27 2021 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels covid scare 4 30 2017 learn to chill i have recently realized that i am in a position that when something breaks i alone can fix it and when i find myself ill equipped or unready for the challenge i panic sometimes to the point of a heart attack well almost but not quite i don t know why i expect so much of myself i don t know why i am hard so hard myself maybe i just want to be able to achieve some things in this world and i want it too quickly too much too fast now i m just feeling lost like there s too much on my plate and i don t know where too start last year i started simplifying my life got rid of some stuff i thought would weight me down but in the process i started acquiring knowledge i thought would help me get to my next level but then they all sort of got mixed together and jumbled out to the point that it s getting more complicated than simple so much for minimalism jack of all trades master of none i m seriously considering taking a break from my business and just focus on learning but i will lose my clients in the process or maybe that s not the way to go i should learn to collaborate with others maybe i should just focus on what thing at a time i am after all just human and not superhuman everything is just overwhelming right now and my focus is all over the place i should learn to stop and chill meditate take time to think this through breathe at april 30 2017 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 10 02 2016 ole ole so i just finished watching elizabeth gilbert on ted talks and it reminded me that i used to write and that prompted me to pick up my laptop and just type tonight because something peculiar happened this weekend that i need to face and talk about and examine why it happened it was saturday and i had a whole list of things to do i make websites and i have this project that requires me to learn a lot of things that i don t have time to learn anyway i was experimenting on doing something which has not worked for about a month and i know i m missing something and i can t find it anyway i was working on a website and did something to prepare the site for back up after a click the screen went white which it was not supposed to do but it did and i felt fear envelope me and panic set it so i stood up and tried to psych myself that it was alright that it will come back that the server was just processing something and it will be normal in awhile i then realized that my hands were shaking and i was panicking i don t know if it s age or stress or pressure but i got really afraid of what it was doing to me hands shaking palm sweating almost had a heart attack episode that was just wrong after awhile the site came back and i was right the server was processing and it just needed a bit of time but it bothered me a lot so i took a break and watched train to busan and i screamed my fear out i knew i just need to take time to study about the thing that had happened that the panic episode was unnecessary had i only read that some websites do that depending on size of data that i need to practice doing it again and again so that when it happens again i will not kill myself by hyperventilating that it will not kill me if the worse happens every pursuit every passion comes with a shit sandwich elizabeth gilbert she said that if you get a sandwich while doing the thing you love and you still want to do it and you feel better doing it than not doing it then just eat the fucking shit sandwich so that panic attack that hands shaking palm sweating almost had a heart attack episode was my great shit sandwich this weekend and yeah i still want to make websites so f cking shit this shit sandwich is horrible but i m eating the whole damn thing p s re creativity it helps that this great thing that i do this thing that helps people somehow that makes it convenient for other people to get data they need it does not come from me so i shout allah allah allah god god god ole ole ole at october 02 2016 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 12 22 2015 45 random lessons 45 in keeping up with tradition let e celebrate life eternally grateful lord salamat gid i make my own happiness i am stubborn and crazy and i like it i am braver than i believe stronger than i seem smarter than i think a a milne balance is the zen of all bad habits create para sa ekonomiya at para sa sarili ideals and principles are guides not rules if you want to explore creativity break your own rules the world owes you absolutely nothing but ask the world and the world will conspire to help you get it thinking that life will be better in the future is a waste of time live now save the world because you can trying to look good limits my life it is never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be the god i believe in is all good take your negativity elsewhere do what you love and you never have to walk a day in your life complaining is silly either act or forget no one can tell me i can t do it except me plant your own garden decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring in the flowers money does not make me happy material things are best enjoyed in small doses don t work hard work smart before anything else ask the right questions do not stop questioning ask questions until there are no more questions to ask solve the root of the problem and you will have solved the minor ones too love is not a feeling of emotions but a decision of the will love consumes like pain it demands to be felt i don t need many friends i just need the few true ones family is important if you re born near a holiday like christmas people will forget your birthday so it s either you sulk and count the people who forget or call them to celebrate your limitless blessings it took me 30 years to learn that trust is like swimming the only way to learn is to get into the water you don t drown by falling in the water you drown if you stay there not being truthful works against me helping other people help me everything i do always come back to me respect is earned not demanded i eventually take things for granted over time travelling is therapeutic and gives a new perspective for life and creativity i need people and will have to constantly learn to ask for help counting my blessings is my best weapon against despair assuming is stifling and mother of all mistakes writing keeps me grounded acceptance and humility is the first step to changing what you hate about yourself teach impart knowledge you will learn if you can t be smart be funny never take life too seriously you will never get out of it alive from bugs bunny i think at december 22 2015 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 8 15 2015 marching to a different do rum so i m quitting school again my 5th college my sisters will be furious i waste money and that s an awful truth my last three colleges were paid by me they were not a total waste i did pick up a few things here and there accounting skills for one and i can now understand shorthand but hear me out or rather let me talk coz i m practicing my speech to those who would be furious my sisters most likely when i got to college i didn t know what i wanted to do so i took up accounting i liked it but it was just another course i later discovered that i really don t want to work i want to do to use my skills on work i would love to do everyday very few people have that kind of luxury most of them are rich enough to be allowed that luxury i didn t at first the year i told my mom i quit school i started working at odd jobs with computers i finally got a paid job and i was taught excel it was easy and the ease of learning it was a revelation for me i learned to organized data and realized that i ve been doing just that at a younger age on notebooks lists and expanded lists when i got to government work i was pretty good with computers then i attended an html seminar i think that totally cleared any doubt what i wanted to do no schools were offering courses on it then except sti and i was pretty busy making ends meet to even consider school i was handling expenses when my mom got sick and handled it awhile longer after she died so school was no longer an option so i learned everything i wanted to learn on the internet i got pretty good and started a small business on my free time making artwork logos print designs eventually websites it was the scariest yet the most fulfilling work i ve ever done and i knew this is what i wanted to do i have recently been promoted and my boss encouraged me to finish school because the next position in my line of work will require a degree i was also in the position where i can now afford to get myself to school but the courses i wanted had steep tuition on the encouragement of my co workers and family i decided to settle to just getting a diploma cheap easy any diploma so i enrolled i am on my 1st semester of my 5th college to be exact just after my first exams when this school offered online it degree courses it was a new program so new that nobody i knew heard about it tuition was steep but they allow students to take a few online classes at a time in a trimester enrollment it will probably take me a lot longer than the current school but i will surely have computer subjects every effing trimester i don t want any other line of work except with computers i m not good with people but i know how to handle code i love handling code they just hired another it guy in the office so that makes it 7 guys below me four of them it graduates i m now at the highest position i will ever be as an undergrad in an it position and i m now handling web design because no one else had the experience or the know how in my division even with a degree in a different course i will probably fare well when i go head to head with any of these guys in web design but will my current course teach me how to be a better programmer probably not it will probably make me a better division head and i don t want to be a division head i have a very specific goal think mike rowe it makes no sense to me to take a course that will make me better at something i do not want to do it might take me 10 years to graduate but don t great artists suffer for their craft i will never get rich but that was never what i wanted to be i just want to be happy and to do things i am passionate about and if it things don t work out in my current job i will still be working as a web designer and doing programming jobs on the side if that makes me an idiot well i d rather be a happy idiot than a ho hum graduate i am where i should be doing what i should do at august 15 2015 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 5 30 2015 wok is relative it s important to me that i love my work if i can t be rich enough to bask in the sun 24 7 the best thing i can do is enjoy what i do and get paid for it although i make excuses not to go somewhere else to relax because of work it does not necessarily mean that work is all i do i do go out with friends i do take vacations i do work that i hate and i do work that i love to hate i am very much aware that there should be a balance in work and play but just because you don t see me in facebook basking in the sun it doesn t mean i m not getting that balance mini breaks can be reading a book watching a movie coffee or drinks or desserts with friends or just enjoying time with family at home or somewhere else all that to me is as enjoyable as dancing in the streets frolicking in the pool or just enjoying the view there are different levels of bliss ...