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Text of the page (random words):
one for truth one for truth wednesday april 30 2008 okay one more just when i thought i d run out of things to say on the subject of the church i ve found myself over the last few days thinking often of the recent events at revolution church as recounted on scp the fact remains that i still have a powerful almost physical response to the idea of attending church and i think that this revolution church experience has helped to crystallize it for me you see here is this man apparently quite talented and charismatic who builds a successful congregation and in the moment of doing what about half of all americans do leaving their spouse ends up traumatizing his entire congregation not just because of the thing that happened but because it happened there to them by him of all people people talk often of the powerful sense of community in church but what i experienced even more strongly than community was a sense of unreality as in what happens in church how people often behave can simply be unreal a thoroughgoing dishonesty brought on by an intense pressure to be a certain way to say the right thing to be who it is that other people think a person who is a christian is supposed to be church is so painful to me because i simply can t take the pressure of not feeling like i can be who i am warts and all for instance if i m having a bad day when i show up for work and a colleague asks how i am i can shrug my shoulders and say i m here anyway then they can either ask for details or shrug and go back to their work i can fart at my desk or say fuck all if i feel like it the mask is off and the only things i keep to myself are those things that i think are none of my colleagues business when i was in church the one thing i wanted to say more than anything else was bullshit bullshit on people acting a certain way and expecting other people to act the same way too hating on their neighbor while they hug and kiss them pretending everything is okay when it damn well isn t wearing their finest masks in the one place they should be the most real and human whatever your experience in church is i won t devalue it at all but that s what church ended up being for me so david trotter was full of shit probably still is he s apparently quite passionate about helping people have religious experiences and become personally successful and content and sees no conflict between that and abandoning his wife and children i will be the first to say that any one of us is capable of being both great and an asshole often at the very same time that s just human to be human is to be broken and fallible and a mixed bag of goods but that s just not okay in church oh it s okay to acknowledge it in the abstract but not to act it out in the presence of your neighbors sure people sin it s just not supposed to happen here not to us not in our church not with our pastor years later i m still angry about the bullshit weird thing is i m just as angry with the people at revolution as i am with trotter i don t know any of them but i ve been in enough churches to understand the bullshit culture they just suffered a major traumatic reality intrusion into their make believe happy talk culture and nobody knows what do to about it so let me tell you what they are going to do i can say this because i saw it over and over again they are going to pretend it never happened people will cry and hold hands and pray and notice that within weeks it will not be discussed from the pulpit when people bring it up to the leadership they will suggest that the appropriate response is a small prayer and to focus on other things references to trotter will disappear from websites and printed materials maybe they ll even change the name or move to a new location the wife and family will move to a new church the history of revolution will be cleansed of this painful event so that everyone can go back to pretending that these things don t happen here not to us i don t know call me a cynic but let me know if i m wrong because that would be interesting to see i hope for revolution s sake that they break the mold i really don t like feeling this way so seemingly cynical and angry but i wonder sometimes if the very title of this blog one for truth ends up keeping me honest in ways i never contemplated when i started it which at the time was when i was fully engaged with the culture this is the truth as i see it called out as plainly as i can call it out i am already without a congregation because i didn t want to hurt them by trying to stay to take off the mask and break the mold i don t want to hurt anybody and i don t want to find myself without faith but i can t and won t be a party to the bullshit any longer just can t tolerate the dissonance posted by zeke 8 09 am 13 comments thursday february 21 2008 adios i don t want to be one of those guys whose blog just sits there week after week with nothing new but nothing really resolved i have kind of run out of things to say so i d rather just call it a day thanks for being there with me and you know where to find me posted by zeke 9 17 pm 8 comments monday december 17 2007 jesus isn t it time we took a look at his record posted by zeke 3 38 pm 6 comments tuesday november 27 2007 amy enters rip i never knew amy enters but i was sent her obituary today by a colleague i want to take a moment here to acknowledge from a distance the life and legacy of a woman who is a contemporary of mine and whose passing reminded me of the increasing fragility of life amy enters age 40 of barrington illinois formerly of houston texas passed away november 27 2007 after a courageous battle with breast cancer amy was the loving wife of menno enters whom she married on september 6 1997 amy was born in corpus christi texas on february 16 1967 to carolyn and jr viola cherished sister of polly clay wilkins kari gary stadler and michael viola fond daughter in law of marina and jim enters and sister in law of karin enters she is survived by sons matthijs marek and aidan enters amy was preceded in death by her infant son liam amy was a woman of exceptionally strong faith a conqueror who served as an inspiration to many visitation to be held from 9 00 10 30am on friday november 30 at st francis de sales 135 s buesching in lake zurich illinois prior to funeral mass at 10 30am memorial donations may be made to menno enters in the name of the enters family fund at cambridge bank 1100 south rand lake zurich illinois posted by zeke 12 53 pm 5 comments thursday november 22 2007 thank you i ve been at this blogging thing for about two and a half years now and it wouldn t be interesting if it weren t for you my blogging companions so today i m grateful for this experience and the friendships i ve gained here on the interwebtubes enjoy this day posted by zeke 11 09 am 4 comments wednesday november 14 2007 modern ruins photograph s copyright shaun o boyle modern ruins as seen through the lens of photographer shaun o boyle one thing that leaps out at me is that somewhere along the line and i believe the line was world war ii we lost a sense of art in the design of most of our buildings people the photo above was for a power plant i m in that business and i can tell you that they definitely don t make em like that anymore thanks as always to andrew sullivan from whom i get most of my good stuff posted by zeke 10 39 am 1 comments monday october 15 2007 faaaascinating follow this link and see whether you perceive the dancer as spinning clockwise or counterclockwise then see if she changes direction on you for me she was all about the clockwise until suddenly in a blink she flipped the other way then back a few moments later i ve found that while if i concentrate i can get her to flip directions it s only for a few moments the exercise appears to have right brain left brain implications though who really knows posted by zeke 3 55 pm 20 comments about me name zeke location southern cal beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy benjamin franklin view my complete profile support bloggers rights important posts where it all began whither the pastor 7 things about zeke an anxiety observed sheep and goats parable or prophecy aw hell zeke the adulterer on grace for gays why my name isn t on this blog the first church of the blogosphere the intervening god reaching the goal is not avoiding the boundaries welcome to the digital meadow santa blogger roundup this man wants to liberate your ipod what does copyright have to do with jesus http www makepovertyhistory org blogs i m reading stupid church people ping etcetera a different perspective alan hartung head first demerging don t call me veronica eddie thompson ninjanun journeys in insanity just so you ll know you re loved sofyst steve chastain mr preacher new life emerging c grasty on christianity and culture trippod bad christian jollyblogger gracehead dufflehead evol is love backwards from mrs zeke the cubicle reverend communion of the 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consequences of ideas things you discover when your dog wakes you up at be forewarned archives july 2005 august 2005 september 2005 october 2005 november 2005 december 2005 january 2006 february 2006 march 2006 april 2006 may 2006 june 2006 july 2006 august 2006 september 2006 october 2006 november 2006 december 2006 january 2007 february 2007 april 2007 may 2007 june 2007 july 2007 august 2007 september 2007 october 2007 november 2007 december 2007 february 2008 april 2008 this work excluding all images but the godscrum logo is licensed under a creative commons attribution noncommercial sharealike 2 5 license