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again you will know me it means that even after i die you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart for as long as you remember me i am never entirely lost frederick buechner posted by susan at 12 53 am 6 comments labels death donna ashworth eric frederick buechner grief harriet sarnoff schiff jeannette encinias martin prechtel rosemerry wahtola trommer soja wednesday september 18 2024 you and me on the rock brandi carlile today is our 48th wedding anniversary wtf crazy right oh and if you re doing the math at home 17 520 one days at a time a happy marriage one gesture at a time by susan semenak really great marriages are not the result of long hours of hard work but of everyday behaviours and attitudes seemingly small gestures that show your spouse that he or she is noticed appreciated respected loved and desired orbuch writes in her just published book 5 simple steps to take your marriage from good to great delacorte press which is based on the study s findings montreal what makes couples happy what makes marriages last it s the small stuff it turns out telling him he looks great in his jeans bringing her coffee in bed in the morning sneaking off without the kids from time to time taking turns doing the laundry terri orbuch a michigan based research professor and marriage and family therapist spent more than 22 years charting the love lives of 373 married couples in the u s government funded early years of marriage project the longest running study of marriage conducted in north america the secrets of happy couples orbuch and her team of researchers found were surprisingly simple really great marriages are not the result of long hours of hard work but of everyday behaviours and attitudes seemingly small gestures that show your spouse that he or she is noticed appreciated respected loved and desired orbuch writes in her just published book 5 simple steps to take your marriage from good to great delacorte press which is based on the study s findings when couples in solid relationships run into trouble or experience the blahs they often focus on what s wrong as do many self help books and marriage counsellors orbuch said in a telephone interview this week but she found focusing on their strengths and taking a few minutes every day to fix the little things had a greater impact on happiness it s not those big challenges that couples experience that eat away at happiness so much as the seemingly minor issues that accumulate over the years orbuch said we re so busy with work and family and exercise and shovelling snow and doing the groceries that people too often put their relationships on the backburner here are a few of the secrets orbuch gleaned from happy couples for making a good marriage great read the rest of the article here song you and me on the rock by brandi carlile book what makes a marriage last 40 celebrated couples share with us the secrets to a happy life by marlo thomas phil donahue poem s new vows by sierra demulder when my best friend got married he walked down the aisle to a song about death isn t that what marriage is all about he laughed a promise to be together until one of you dies i regret my wedding vows too focused on the benign our boundless laughter how i cherish just waking up together i should have said i take thee and all the treachery that aliveness guarantees i should have said i will help bury your elders i take your hand and your heart murmur the cancerous growth above your father s ear i take your family history of alcoholism and give you back a possible covenant of dementia miscarriage high blood pressure in sickness and in car accidents in sickness and in the mundane shared calendars and anniversaries spent arguing about our budget you told me once great danes have a short life expectancy only 6 10 years if you re lucky and i cried who would sign up to love something so impermanent o beloved we have been so happy lately it s making us nervous and isn t that what marriage is all about a love so darling so hallowed and exposed we both volunteer to be its keeper when the joy runs dry when the body fails not because but in glorious spite of the unpalatable impossible fact that someday one of us will wake up first only to find ourselves alone me first by billy collins we often fly in the sky together and we re always okay there s our luggage now waiting for us on the carousel and we drive lots of places in all manner of hectic traffic yet here we are pulling in the driveway again so many opportunities to die together but no meteor has hit our house no tornado has lifted us into its funnel the odds say then that one of us will go before the other like heading off into a heavy snow storm leaving the other one behind to stand in the kitchen or lie on the bed under the fan so why not let me the older one go first i don t want to see you everywhere as i wait for the snow to stop before setting out with a crooked stick calling your name habitation by margaret atwood marriage is not a house or even a tent it is before that and colder the edge of the forest the edge of the desert the unpainted stairs at the back where we squat outside eating popcorn the edge of the receding glacier where painfully and with wonder at having survived even this far we are learning to make fire marriage by ellen bass when you finally after deep illness lay the length of your body on mine isn t it like the strata of the earth the pressure of time on sand mud bits of shell all the years uncountable wakings sleepings sleepless nights fights ordinary mornings talking about nothing and the brief fiery plummets and the unselfconscious silences of animals grazing the moving water wind ice that carries the minutes leaves behind minerals that bind the sediment into rock how to bear the weight with every flake of bone pressed in then how to bear when the weight is gone the way a woman whose neck has been coiled with brass can no longer hold it up alone oh love it is balm but also a seal it binds us tight as the fur of a rabbit to the rabbit when you strip it grasping the edge of the sliced skin pulling the glossy membranes apart the body is warm and limp if you could you d climb inside that wet slick skin and carry it on your back this is not neat and white and lacy like a wedding not the bright effervescence of champagne spilling over the throat of the bottle this visceral bloody union that is love but beyond love beyond charm and delight the way you to yourself are past charm and delight this is the shucked meat of love the alleys and broken glass of love the petals torn off the branches of love the dizzy hoarse cry the stubborn hunger quote s marriage is not a noun it s a verb it isn t something you get it s something you do it s the way you love your partner every day barbara de angelis basically the secret to a long lasting marriage is memory loss and well meaning lies and beach margaritas jenny lawson posted by susan at 11 33 am 8 comments labels barbara de angelis billy collins brandi carlile ellen bass jenny lawson margaret atwood marlo thomas marriage phil donahue sierra demulder susan semenak tuesday august 27 2024 dark skies danny schmidt when the stars did guide us by ezra berger original oil on canvas yesterday august 26 was eleven months since eric s death crazy september will find me one big fat f cking mess it will almost be a relief to hit the one year mark the countdown to which has been excruciatingly painful yet educational if that makes a bit of sense details soon of a potluck breakfast club get together on a sunday morning in early to mid october in ashley w hale park pembroke pines our former neighborhood we are having a tree planted and a plaque made in e s memory and would love to gather whatever friends and family are able to attend as soon as i saw ezra s painting posted online i could envision it in my house i am a leo in my mind the one dar williams met in mercy of the fallen ha crazy synchronicity or meant to be first verse i had asked you to steer me to one cloud scattered night i got lost and in my travels i met leo the lion last verse there s the weak and the strong and the many stars that guide us we have some of them inside us yes i bought this stunning work of art song dark skies by danny schmidt book joy rides through the tunnel of grief a memoir by jessica hendry nelson a birthday present from my friend judi poem changed by ullie kaye yes i have changed you may not recognize me anymore the new me does not pretend to be anything other than who i really am you may not recognize the kind of strength that courses through my veins it is rich with suffering and believing and overcoming i no longer crave the things that i thought made me beautiful but rather i am delicious now in spirit in choosing tenderness and deliberate breaths and a longing to be to others what i always wished them to be to me i no longer have eyes that search for approval but my vision is on whatever brings grace and healing and growth i am full of love and empty of being consumed by things that really do not matter don t get me wrong i am still filled with a thousand broken pieces i ve just rearranged them all quote we are travelers on a cosmic journey stardust swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity life is eternal we have stopped for a moment to encounter each other to meet to love to share this is a precious moment it is a little parenthesis in eternity paulo coelho posted by susan at 12 49 pm 2 comments labels danny schmidt dar williams death eric ezra berger grief jessica hendry nelson paolo coelho sky stars ullie kaye thursday august 8 2024 shine stick figure photo credit sarah so i turned 70 years old this past monday august 5 and through a bizarre yet synchronistic series of events we celebrated in ormond beach too complicated to retrace the details of our on again off again mossfam cat herding expedition but it also included a visit on saturday to jupiter florida not the planet with extended family uncle andy aunt jeannie andy s sons drew and john and drew s son brian it had been over five years since we d all seen each other at this point we didn t know if we were driving away from hurricane debby or directly into it yikes halfway to our destination we continued on another two hours and checked in to the hotel about 9 p m delightfully surprised by our room s spaciousness elegant simplicity and oceanfront view the next four days alternated between drizzly windy sunny and everything in between which of course didn t stop us from beaching pooling jacuzzi ing or as colin says shacuzzi putt putting basketballing ping ponging ouisi ing bedtime storying etc family friendly as well as relaxing michele and her crew met up with us tuesday afternoon and as she said it was so beautiful to watch our now grown up children with their own kiddos who got along swimmingly pun definitely intended and rob found the perfect casual beachfront restaurant to celebrate me and after dinner we went practically across the street to a cheezy souvenir shop in fact this entire getaway was so reminiscent of our longstanding and long ago ft myers beach family vacations where i promised everyone 10 sarah added the extra challenge of in 10 minutes to locate a cool find for themselves and darned if colin didn t choose a sharktooth necklace just like eric used to get every damn summer no surprise there were multiple eric visitations three little birds art in our room an owl whistle in noveltea bookstore coffeehouse where michele and i snuck away to facetime with our dear friend rox and to open presents a rainbow perfect playlist at the restaurant including slightly stoopid rebelution and stick figure shine is my new favorite song of his conjuring it for saturday s concert returned home about 4 wednesday afternoon but i pretended i was still on vacation the rest of the day and only today allowed real life to intervene unpacking and reorganizing and laptopping oh my i sat on my balcony this a m feeling waves of abundant gratitude and peace the latter in short supply these last ten months and most surprisingly clarity it was as if all of my foggy brain cells since eric s death conspired to unite in solidarity like swimmy the next level up from glimmers to crystallize my inner vision and mend my broken heart the sun is shining through p s all this to say i need more beach time in my life this is the true joy in life being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy i am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as i live it is my privilege to do for it what i can i want to be thoroughly used up when i die for the harder i work the more i live i rejoice in life for its own sake life is no brief candle to me it is a sort of splendid torch which i have got hold of for the moment and i want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations george bernard shaw song shine by stick figure book s women rowing north navigating life s currents and flourishing as we age by mary pipher how to age disgracefully by clare pooley poem s no one told me it would be like this how growing older is another passage of discovery and that aging is one grand transformation and if some things become torn apart lost along the way many other means show up to bring me closer to the center of my heart no one ever told me if whatever wonder waits ahead is in another realm and outside of time but the amazement i found is that the disconcerting things within the here and now that i stumble and trip my way through also lead me gracefully home and no one told me that i would ever see an earth so strong and fragile or a world so sad and beautiful and i surely didn t know i d have all this life yet in me or such fire inside my bones susan frybort this body by joyce sutphen when i stepped ashore in this body i was recognized at once and given a name my bones were smaller but the shape of the cheek and the chin are the same this is the only body i know this color my eyes this color my skin every scar is mine i have become as tall as slim as old as i am my voice has carried the weight of what i had to say words were scattered along the way words on gravel roads in hallways and staircases words on a wire somewhere in a field my hair somewhere in a lake my skin some rooftop where my gaze rested some star a wish this is my address on earth temporary fragile a name in the phonebook at the moment alive idea by kate baer i will enjoy this life i will open it like a peach in season suck the juice from every finger run my tongue over my chin i will not worry about clichés or uninvited guests peering in my windows i will love and be loved save and be saved a thousand times i will let the want into my body bles...