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Text of the page (random words):
r be able to do anything try what you like but it won t matter especially when she s 2 months old and weighs all of 3 lbs so i grieved the image of the girl i thought i d have and the things she ll never do and experiences she ll never have every now and then that grief comes back up usually while completing developmental questionnaires it s not fun to check no to every question no need to actually read the questions and there s fear of the future what happens when i can t lift her anymore and she s as big as me what happens after she ages out of the school system will her siblings care for her when we no longer can if she even lives that long things parents of special needs kids think about at night i try to keep myself out of that rabbit hole because i m not there yet and worrying about things that are so far ahead does no good but it s there the anger and frustration of the whys and hows and dealings with doctors and insurance companies appears periodically and i often feel sad for the parents who put complete trust in what those professionals tell them that a child will never do anything no matter what you try ugh it s just not true it might take a lot of time and a lot of work and a change in perspective but progress is progress and everyone can do something even if it s just spreading joy with a smile but what i always come back to what grounds me is faith that god made her just as she is for a purpose that god gave her to us for a reason do i know what that is nope do i have doubts yep is that ok of course it is and i can look back and see how god was preparing me for this mom job years before i ever saw it coming it s absolutely not a perfect pretty picture but i ll take it and keep on doing the best i can posted by perkins family at 8 08 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday april 23 2019 random reflections on this 7th birthday the kiddos turn 7 today i know this because they ve been counting down since 18 days and as april 23rd rolls around each year i have the same thoughts and all the feelings as i reflect on how we ve made it through another 365 days the days are long and the years are short so cliche right but so true i don t know how many times someone tells a story from the baby and toddler days about something i did or said or that the kids did and my response is i don t remember that but i believe you because it went by in a blur besides major events medical histories and random song lyrics i don t remember how did you do ____ i m not sure but we did it i m very helpful like that 7 years seven years 7 years of being known as the lady with all the babies by the way my name is lauren and they re not babies anymore they re so their own little people now about as independent as a person can be at that age i love seeing them learn new things and play together and how they care for each other the fighting i could do without but who doesn t fight with their siblings i could also do without the big kid attitudes but i know we re just getting started there and who knew 1st grade is the new 4th grade they re learning and dealing with things i wasn t expecting for a few years pretty sure i blew a few life lesson conversations but i m sure i ll get more chances every year when i look back the biggest thing that always sticks out in my mind is how faithful god has been to our family and how he works through us and our team perkins pack it s truly remarkable the sheer fact that these 6 kids are even here and we aren t completely insane doctors told me my pregnancy made no scientific sense and they were right it didn t but this was meant to happen i always wanted to be a stay at home mom and i got what i wanted just not how i thought i would in the bouts of infertility i was once told god would grant me the desires of my heart but i needed to relinquish my control and seek him i didn t even realize how much control i was holding on to learning to trust and have faith is so hard but so liberating and i m still working on it thankfully i m forgiven for all the many mess ups and god still shows up i have so many stories about how people have come into our family at just the right time and right when we truly needed each other i know these things are beyond coincidence they re god stories and they re my favorite too many to type on one post but i recently realized something about many of our perkins pack people out of all the people who have helped us the last 7 years a handful stand out as putting in major time and commitment and just being involved in their lives some have moved on and some are more recent but all of them had the desire for children in their lives and didn t have kids and or grandkids of their own for various reasons and here i am with plenty to share all god what if i had held on to that control not been open enough to let people in to see our messy our good bad and ugly given in to the times i wanted to scream everybody get out of my house all the blessings that would be lost precious relationships a couple things that were told to me back in the baby days that have stuck with me 1 when you turn down offers of help you re taking away a blessing from someone 2 your family is now your mission field raising these kids and how you interact with all the people that are coming in and out of your family s life god s love and purpose can be shown through your situation such truth stories are meant to be shared god uses us all and in all kinds of situations let your story be used don t waste it posted by perkins family at 12 09 am 5 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday july 10 2018 and then they were six it s not that i haven t had anything to write about in over two years it s that i haven t felt like it or was just too dang brain tired to do so i m sure i ll regret this lack of memory preserving one day kinda already do but it is what it is time keeps on flying by these kiddos just finished up kindergarten like for real had a kindergarten graduation i ll spare you my opinion on this i remember a time when kindergarten was all my dreams were made of 6 years in a blur but i have a distinct memory of being surrounded by babies and repeatedly thinking if i can only make it till kindergarten and look we ve done it i have six 6 year olds y all what in the what before we get to the individual break downs of sextupletness the kindergarten faq they were split 3 2 1 in classes caroline ben and levi allison and andrew leah no not sure what the plan for next year will be but i will be asking the kids opinions i packed lunches backpacks and had clothes laid out the night before or else we d never make it on time cut it close every single day as it was they all have loved school and done well and have learned way more than i ever did in kindergarten homework was optional and we generally opted out andrew got in trouble the most actually he s the only one i know of who was ever in trouble he s a sweet boy but sometimes doesn t listen and sometimes just plain talks too much none of them liked going to school more than i loved dropping them off in the morning sweet taste of freedom for a few hours on weekdays the school year spoiled me now without further ado in birth order my six year olds andrew noah this boy he is a goober i know that may sound bad but really that s andrew who he gets his extremely outgoing nature from i haven t a clue he knows no stranger and has no filter things he has recently said to complete strangers after properly introducing himself with his full name of course and likely any and all family members present i came out first in august we go swimming want to see my ninja moves are you coming with us to ___ he ll end with whatever personal questions pop into his head he makes friends wherever he goes while the others tend to stick together andrew is likely to find his own people to hang out with once when i went to eat lunch with them at school he sat down with another family and ate with them thankfully that parent found him entertaining he s still sensitive a scaredy cat a little bit of a bully but loves his people big i get you re the best mom ever almost daily from him he s the tallest pack member by a head yet still wants to be picked up and flipped around like the littles but don t let that gooberness fool you he s much smarter than he lets on and you really should see his ninja moves benjamin luke oh benny boy a true perkins indeed why change when you can be perfectly content in your own quirkiness yes he still calls himself benny boy and makes others call him that too but i have heard at school he lets his teachers call him ben he s been rocking the long sleeve shorts and sandals wardrobe for a solid 3 years now 3 years long sleeves in houston he is that stubborn and bossy as bossy can be and his siblings listen to him he says he wants to do nothing when he grows up but i think he ll be a boss of something he loves attention when he wants it and if he doesn t just do yourself a favor and do not look in his direction he ll willingly perform tricks or share another great idea or he may go sneak off to play by himself he s my night owl i often find him up way past bedtime looking at books which of course leads to fun school mornings ben is still my talker not as much constant commentary as he used to give but detailed accounts of his day or upcoming plans or instructions my ben boo has so many nicknames and still charms the pants off most people he meets his little old man ways are pretty cute and he could survive on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches alone preferably of the double decker variety caroline grace sweet caroline or sweet caroline depends on the hour with this girl no matter her mood she s a girl who knows what she wants and makes it known which sometimes requires a calm down break aka time out silly smart and stubborn to the nth degree some people say she gets it from me but what do they know she loves pink and often wears it head to toe but hates anything remotely girly don t you dare try to fix her hair or make her wear a dress trust me not worth it i never wanted a tomboy because what do i do with one of those but i got me one caroline loves to color read and soak up as much one on one time as she can just about any adult will do but she s a mommy s girl at heart every single day she wants to do a workout with me just the two of us sometimes it s running around the block but usually she locks us in the master bedroom and we take turns calling out exercises for the other to do sounds like a blast right but then she ll completely ignore me when i m visiting them at school won t sit with me at lunch cries when i enter the classroom and sometimes won t even look in my direction but then again this girl s always been a little complicated she still loves breakfast being a helper and sleep she asks to take a nap most days and still sucks her two middle fingers and she is awful proud of her toots that s my girl leah michelle leah peah she is such a joy happiest disposition of anyone i know you know something is wrong in her world when she isn t happy especially if music doesn t cure what ails her music is still her love language uptown funk and the entire musical collection of laurie berkner never get old to her we ve been listening to the same selection of songs for 5 1 2 years everyday but it s worth her calm and happiness basically i m a master tuner outer at this point she loves cuddles and kisses as much as she loves music she s getting kinda big and awkward to cuddle but we make it work leah loves being in the water too bath time and pool time relax her since the last time i posted leah s health has been a roller coaster we ve learned to manage new things to hopefully avoid some downs but you just never know despite the setbacks leah is still hitting her inchstones we don t focus on milestones in school and therapy she works her booty off and is completely exhausted by the time both are over every weekday she is a speed demon in her gait trainer even on carpet rocks some cause and effect toys and is learning to use switches to communicate and identify objects she has become much more vocal this year she uses her vocalizations to respond to questions and make her opinions known she has different tones for whining being tired pain excitement and what we call drama her siblings help a bit in her care now too all her teachers tell me she s their favorite they may tell that to every parent but i like to think it s true allison kate my little miss we don t call her smidge anymore but she s still a tiny little thing and she knows how to play that card too but she can hold her own against her siblings when she needs to allison always has been and always will be the little mommy of the group she knows what should be done what needs to be done and tries her best to keep everyone in line sometimes even me she loves her teacher and wants to stay in kindergarten forever alli is by far the shyest of the pack unless she s on our cooking videos and is usually terrified to go into new social situations or try anything she might not be perfect at perfectionist indeed once when we were decorating cookies she was meticulously placing sprinkles and such on her cookie while a sibling haphazardly dumped on theirs she looked over and exclaimed ugh that is so wrong and she s my girly girl princesses and pretty dresses and painted nails and make up yes but no hair fixing she is extremely responsible for her age and i ve said before if she were my only one i could take naps all day and not worry a bit about what she s doing levi thomas little dude monkey man levi has about as many nicknames as ben what he lacks in stature he makes up for in personality all things butt poop and fart are hilarious these days levi still loves to make everyone laugh and act as silly as can be but he can also pop an attitude with the best of em sometimes i think he s going on sixteen with his eye rolls and smart responses he s got a quick temper too we call it the levi freak outs but he s also quick to calm down and go back to his sweet caring self levi has been my big surprise in school he truly loves to learn he constantly asks questions about everything how it works and why it is sometimes i don t know the answers i thought he d be too easily distracted for school but he s proven me wrong levi is very into art and drawing right now he s already drawing better than i can and has the best handwriting of any left handed 6 year old boy i ve ever seen he s not as outgoing as andrew but still much more so than the others i recently found out he told the one kid no one wants to play with that he d be his friend i love that he noticed and cared levi has always been independent and moved to the beat of his own drum but he still needs his mommy hugs and cuddles he still loves music but now race cars are in the mix too he s very ...