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se i m sure no mere book would be enough to convey the experience of what chattel slavery is like but the reality that my ancestors were slaves i got a similar feeling when i went to dc for the obama inauguration that the buildings all around me had been built by black slaves and now a black man was being elected president i was seriously on the verge of tears almost the whole time not so much out of happiness at the election although back then i was much more on team hopey changey stuff than i am now but out of horror of the past i grew up in albuquerque new mexico in a neighborhood where the oldest buildings dated to maybe the 1950s black chattel slavery is distant here to have my stepmom who is from there and who is biracial just like me point out buildings and say that s an old slave auction house or that tunnel is where they brought slaves in from the docks and whatnot was completely upsetting to me you re very sensitive she said to me not unkindly my family is from cuba so the likelihood that any ancestor of mine walked through those tunnels or stood on those particular auction blocks is probably low but they walked through tunnels they stood on auction blocks and there were similar ones right in front of me meanwhile a black man was getting ready to be president it was the same feeling i got when a white friend of mine explained to me that her grandmother who i had spent the previous afternoon chatting pleasantly with was actually a horrible racist and said mean things about my daughter betrayal shame embarrassment anger fury pride that i wasn t what her grandmother thought i was that feeling that s what it s like to be black in america thinking back about my week in dc two years ago i remember a conversation i had about the whole thing with a man who was a friend of my stepmom s family i don t think white people understand he said i agreed also i m pissed at myself that i haven t been reading octavia butler this entire time next up fledgling posted by vanessa at 10 20 2010 11 15 00 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday august 24 2010 yes i am a muslim american eds note my father who has been increasingly horrified by the growing tide of bigotry apparent on the nightly news lately emailed me this last night and asked if i would post it on my blog of course i would i said am i an american why am i asking myself this question again yes i am an american a muslim african american why am i asking that question again it is because the monster is trying to once again rear its ugly head a monster who once tried to trick me into believing that i was not an american because of the color of my skin and because of the origin of my parents and the first language that i spoke spanish as a child the ugly beast who snapped at the heels of my parents with its white only bathrooms and diners and the black only seats at the rear of the bus or train and the inequality and lack of justice that permeated its presence breathing the fire of hate for those who dared to be different than it the horrible looks and words of hate that frightened a child and young adolescent emanating from the mouths of pale skinned creatures that looked as human as i and breathed the same air that filled my lungs and walked the same earth that i walked upon i a child not really understanding the disease that filled the hearts and minds of these men and women some who called themselves the follower of jesus peace be upon him as i was the prophet of peace and love why i said as a child why why do you hate me so the answer always being you are the other not like me apart from me yet in my heart i always knew this to be a lie knew that the other was as human and fragile as i was he or she was just sick in the head from some blow of a hammer that must have once fallen upon their heads then as i grew into adolescence came the words and actions of martin words of freedom equality respect the transformational words of malcolm demanding respect as a man and as a human being and servant of god the demand for the implementation of the eternal principles that i knew permeated the hearts of all men and women who know the truth and that submit to the one and only lord and creator of the universe these waves of change passed through our country transforming hearts and minds as they always have when the creature appears men like mandela gandhi muhammed jesus and moses and so many others who chase the monster away if not for a little time making him hide in slumber for another day here is that day today when i ask myself again am i an american the monster stares in my face i now a grown man a muslim african american the beast once again looms in our presence again staring at me with eyes aglow it basks in its own self indulgence of ignorance hate and accusations of being the other the same old story just another time and another place know this oh beast i will stand firmly on this sacred ground that i call my country my home my place of birth a place called america i stand here with no fear of you in my heart knowing with surety who i am and why i am i am a muslim american a servant of allah born in the home of the brave the land of the free i am a red blooded american you can screech your words of being the other of there is no room for muslims or mosques or adhans in this land i tell you we are here to stay over nine million of us strong and growing most born american muslims and true believers in our hearts i stand here wrapped in the cloth of freedom made by the blood of my ancestors and yours the promise of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness not a dream but a reality made true by the following words we the people of the united states in order to form a more perfect union establish justice insure domestic tranquility provide for the common defense promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity do ordain and establish this constitution for the united states of america this is my birth right a covenant made to every citizen of this country born or naturalized your disease of the heart has made you blind and ignorant to the beauty and guarantees encased within those words so beware oh beast the sword of justice looms over your head and no matter how loudly you screech justice and freedom always prevail as god our lord and creator has promised watch your neck because the sword of damocles hangs over your ugly head you will consume yourself in your own self hatred and ignorance we stand as brothers and sisters together muslim christian jews hindus buddhists sikhs and all the other paths of life that exist in this world for we stand with the creator who has given us love and compassion the most powerful forces in all of creation beware and be aware because we have the niyat intention to us this force of love and compassion to its maximum effect we wish to change your heart to cure you of the ancient disease of hate and ignorance your brothers and sister call to you to join us in peace salaams to join us and to become part of the human family once again we await your decision salaams always imam abdur rauf campos marquetti taha mosque islamic center of santa fe posted by vanessa at 8 24 2010 08 12 00 am 6 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday august 22 2010 how little things have changed it s really depressing but not entirely shocking to see how little things have changed since this speech was given posted by vanessa at 8 22 2010 06 43 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday august 16 2010 it s not us and them it s just us the hysteria surrounding the not a mosque not at ground zero interfaith community center that an islamic group wants to build in manhattan has gone on longer that even i thought it ever would the objections to it are so ridiculous so reactionary so based in hatred and fear that i don t even know where to begin taking them apart anymore the fact that you have representatives of the muslim community on the news having to make statements like american muslims were not behind the terrorist plot is totally fucking twilight zone scary david vitter the republican senator from louisiana says that the not at ground zero not a mosque is a slap in the face to the american people if that s the case then i backhand slap the american people right in that stupid afraid bigoted unthinking face twice 9 11 was not an attack by muslims against america 9 11 was an attack by those who embraced a theocratic view against the forces of democracy and capitalism there s a reason they targeted the world trade center it was a financial center those muslims who committed almost 3 000 murders that day were also attacking other muslims many of the office workers restaurant employees firemen police officers and paramedics who were killed for the sin of living in new york or d c let s not forget the pentagon was also attacked were muslims it doesn t work to say that muslims attacked us when muslims and us are two groups that overlap this despite the best efforts of many is a cosmopolitan nation muslims are not others they are us as are catholics jews baptists gays blacks asians hispanics dallas cowboy fans sarah palin fans and even gasp atheists i say again this despite the best efforts of the worst amongst us is a cosmopolitan nation you can t change that no matter how hard you try it s the whole fucking point of our country to think otherwise puts you on the losing side of history i mean jesus even w said we were not at war with islam president obama finally weighed in on the subject on friday saying al qaeda s cause is not islam it is a gross distortion of islam the president said adding in fact al qaeda has killed more muslims than people of any other religion and that list includes innocent muslims who were killed on 9 11 to which i add no shit sherlock really does this even still have to be said i get the feeling my poor dad who is an imam now is going to have to go on another muslims don t all have claws and fangs tour of local churches usually i find keith olbermann just this side of shrill and histrionic but this time i think he hit just the right note visit msnbc com for breaking news world news and news about the economy right now during ramadan no less millions of pakistanis the vast majority of them who are probably muslim are dying because of horrific flooding in that country wouldn t our energies and our 24 hour news cycle be better spent helping or at least paying attention to these people cough donate to doctors without borders cough to conclude i like the point made in this blog post in the real world new york is rebuilding the site of the ruined world trade center is the site of the new world trade center 20 stories high and rising get rid of the islamic center and the alternative will not be a memorial park but a fitness center an american apparel a pinkberry maybe i m naive in my patriotism but the reason i think that so called ground zero is sacred ground is because all of america is sacred ground because the principles laid out in the constitution although historically actually following those principles has always been a bit touch and go protect the inalienable rights of the people who live here well for now anyway posted by vanessa at 8 16 2010 11 20 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday august 14 2010 chuchu the sock monkey why yes i did just spend the last 10 hours or so making two socks into a monkey why do you ask discoveries along my journey across the sock monkey learning curve use thicker socks use longer socks use smaller stitches use more interesting socks and most of all don t explain to your child what a sock monkey is because you re certain to spend the next ten to twelve hours making one much to your chagrin but then she named it chuchu and gave it a big hug and loved it despite all the obvious flaws i saw which is why she is wonderful and i am a jaded former punk rocker full evolution of chuchu here posted by vanessa at 8 14 2010 12 02 00 am 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday august 02 2010 a challenge i don t know what i was thinking i ventured into the comment sections of this and this much better article on the so called ground zero mosque which is neither at ground zero nor a masjid and i think i ve been driven to the edge by the complete rejection of both reason and reality on display by many of the commenters so i issue a challenge i challenge anyone to explain to me why this community center shouldn t be built at this location using 500 words or less you must unlike anyone i ve read or heard who so far who objects to this take these five actual factual points into account 1 the proposed building is not just a mosque but a community center that will include a restaurant and a gym 2 the proposed site is not at ground zero but in fact several blocks away and you can t even see it from the wtc site 3 dozens of the new yorkers and if i recall correctly at least one of the people on the planes murdered on 9 11 were muslim and their families deserve the same respect as the other victims 4 it s private property owned by this group and as long as all proper building codes are followed they re allowed to build whatever the fuck they want 5 republican politicians and celebrities like sarah palin are using this as a wedge issue to motivate their base to vote for them in november as a distraction from the successes of the obama administration and the previous eight years of republican failures seriously 500 words or less i ll send you a free viking fish t shirt i don t expect any takers because a no one reads my blog anymore but more importantly b once these five points are addressed you don t have much of an argument beyond i hate muslims because television and the internet said i should hm i kind of like this idea maybe i ll try it next for those who oppose gay marriage posted by vanessa at 8 02 2010 05 27 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday july 30 2010 the power of images i ve been kind of haunted by time magazine s most recent cover image ever since i saw this salon piece on it yesterday in it a striking beautiful young afghan woman stares defiantly at the camera the woman an 18 year old named aisha has been brutally mutilated by her own husband her nose and ears cut off but the way the photographer jodie bieber captures the fire in her eyes shows that even this brutal act did not defeat her or at least that s what the photo says to me i have to idea how aisha actually feels about her situation and the horrific crime that her husband and the people of her village who enabled him to do this enacted against her but i appreciate the decision bieber made to not photograph her as a bro...