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y morning under age waiting for the girl with a north star in her eyes she sends me where i want to go sleeping giants and waves of snow looking for a girl with a north star in her eyes with the change lord i stayed the same no time to lose no year to blame just lost for the girl with a north star in her eyes wake up and watch her disappear in the ways that you got here can t hold down that memory can t get back home every night i go to see her show dreams and diamonds rodeos chase the girl with a north star in her eyes she was all i knew i guess northern lights and a cotton dress sixteen years of restlessness and hungry for love my whole life came down to this find a world inside a kiss go find the girl with a north star in her eyes composers lyricists colin linden stephen fearing and tom wilson wailed by persephone at 5 06 2026 08 34 00 pm no comments random categories blackie and the rodeo kings can con canadian music just got tired tuesday 5 may 2026 theories of relativity i ve been on one of the most peculiar genealogical journeys i ve experienced thus far and that s saying something both the resident fan boy and i have weird family histories i ve long suspected that there are no other kind not if you re doing your research properly this latest family foray began innocently enough john reid in his blog anglo celtic connections regularly reports when newspapers become available at findmypast and some months back one of these periodicals was from norwood in surrey now greater london i think where the resident fan boy s paternal ancestors dwelt in the 19th century so i started a search but couldn t find entries for the surname of those particular ancestors instead i found a item in the herne bay press about the 1930 funeral of one of the rfb s great aunts under her married surname of course she d lived and died in herne bay kent but was being buried like many of her family members in west norwood cemetery it was one of those goldmine genealogical finds supplying a long list of mourners saying who sent flowers and giving a hint of which family members may have been speaking to each other in the aftermath of a family scandal as usual this led to a happy couple of hours finding new records and updating profiles to my astonishment i found the said great aunt s death certificate posted by a new and unfamiliar account i flatter myself as being a family researcher of some experience so i did searches of birth registrations and british business profiles and finally identified the account as being connected to a first cousin once removed of the resident fan boy it turned out her husband s business was a sixteen minute stroll from where elder daughter had been living in south wimbledon a couple of years ago i d had this cousin s father married to the wrong woman so she was utterly new to me delighted by the discovery and the closeness of the connection i told the resident fan boy all about it that evening and he was politely interested after i d hauled out a couple of graphs to show him how he was related i had no immediate plans to contact this relative but it was taken out of my hands the very next morning with a text from elder daughter should i respond to this this was a message via facebook messenger it was the very cousin i had just identified i was startled to say the least and puzzled why was this cousin reaching out to my daughter and how on earth had she identified and found her my tree is private and my daughters information doesn t appear on it anyway however i had carefully tracked this person s lineage and she was exactly who she said she was so i reassured elder daughter told her how she was related and gave her permission to pass on my email address elder daughter s rare paternal cousin or edrpc until i can think of something catchier got in touch very quickly and revealed the remarkable and frankly terrifying ricochet of logic that had led her discovery of her second cousin not seeing any descendants for my late father in law nor his brother ancestry doesn t show living people thank goodness she did a google search and found an independent site with all our names there s a reason for this years ago when still a newby genealogist i encountered a texan online who was researching one of the distaff branches of the resident fan boy s family she was something like an eighth cousin being a novice i didn t recognise the tell tale signs of a rabid and ruthless researcher and we exchanged details i didn t quite grasp at the time that one never shares details of living people without careful vetting too late i asked her politely to not publish or share the information i d given in a family report i d forwarded to her she got quite huffy saying that in all her years of researching she d never received such a request it was only some years later that i stumbled across her freepage with the full names sorry am i screaming of my husband children and worst of all my living in laws the texan lady had appended an utterly pointless information reheld in brackets after each name i was livid and wildly embarrassed but there was little i could do but learn from the experience the edrpc also found the page i had created for my late father in law s dad at the imperial war museum s web site recognising my name then she stumbled across the resident fan boy s uncle s obituary from several years ago where both the rfb and i had left our condolences which further confirmed our names and relationship so she entered the rfb s name into the search engine with the keyword canada and up came the pièce de resistance is useless a news item from his church featuring not only our names our neighbourhood and the location of our daughters but the name and breed of our cat all this the edrpc told me made me think it was very likely to be all of you no kidding cuz social platforms led her to a likely variation on elder daughter s name including being about the right age and a canadian living in london so she sent out feelers to elder daughter isn t it amazing terrifying the details you can track on the internet the edrpc messaged me brightly of course she s lovely nearly all our relatives are we exchanged all sorts of family photos and greetings on holidays she s delighted to finally have some cousins a rare commodity on her side of the family furthermore while tidying up my research to share with her which she has firmly pledged not to publicise i discovered a possible key to yet another longtime family mystery but i m not posting that here i m still clinging to some of my illusions and delusions of online privacy wailed by persephone at 5 05 2026 07 19 00 pm no comments random categories family research genealogy privacy in a cyber age monday 4 may 2026 morbid curiosity i did an odd thing the other day it had strange repercussions having navigated the treacherous waters of adolescence before the advent of social media most of my misdeeds failed experiments and plain awkwardness went blessedly unrecorded except for those things that i foolishly put in my journals at the time this is probably the reason i don t go back to read those entries so i don t recall if i wrote much about dale dale was my first kiss oh there was little that was romantic about it apart from the thrill of its being my first kiss i barely knew dale who was a grade ahead of me we were both in band he was in the brass section and i was in the woodwinds i have no idea why he singled me out on a school bus returning from a band performance at a civic function on a distant new year s eve it was a french kiss and wildly un erotic but i was thrilled at the concept which seemed to bode well for the new year this proved to be the case kind of i was the girl dale necked with at parties although he barely spoke to me at school on rare occasions he d hold my hand or put his arm around my shoulder while walking home he d point out the make and year of every car that passed something that didn t interest me in the slightest but i was thrilled at the attention he changed schools at the end of the term and i never saw him again years later at the annual pre christmas holiday presentation at younger daughter s school a young man did a rather peculiar presentation on biblical themes it was not a religious institution i didn t recognise him because he was a few grades ahead of younger daughter but i recognised his unusual surname and asked him afterwards if he had a relative named dale he said vaguely that there might be someone in the family named dale but he had died a long time ago i went home did a search but could only find the obituary for dale s father it said that dale had predeceased him the list of living relatives revealed that the vague young man was in fact dale s nephew so i guessed that dale had died before he was born family history research has taught me to return to searches after time has passed for some reason it occurred to me to search for dale this week once again i ran up against his father s obituary but tried a few more times using different keywords and there dale was in an obit published in the ottawa citizen he died there in an unnamed hospital some years before we moved to hades one of the few things i knew about him when we were teenagers was that he had some sort of heart condition which would turn his lips blue i remember a parent staying with him when he became faint during a bikeathon to raise money for a band trip so although i felt sadness it was hardly a shock i did have a shock earlier this year but the greater trauma of demeter s death pushed it from my mind i have just remembered it while thinking of dale about a week before my mother s final fall the resident fan boy and i had a couple of friends to dinner one of whom had attended last year s high school reunion which i had been delighted to skip don t blame you laughed my friend easily it was great being able to chat with some people of course but it was a bit rough seeing that big memorial poster with the names of everyone who s died particularly dylan he committed suicide you know thunk i knew dylan way better than dale we were in the same grade and often the same classes between grades six and twelve i ve written about him in this blog before we were not friends nevertheless i was shocked and found myself wrestling with unpleasant memories and imagining the impact on his children his wife and his siblings until my mother died less than a fortnight later and i had a whole new raft of unpleasant memories with which to wrestle four months on after examining what little i knew of dale s death i looked into that of dylan wondering if by suicide the high school alumni meant maid i somehow doubt it there are three or four obituaries online for dylan who was reasonably prominent they are circumspect about the cause of death sudden generally when maid has been used as it increasingly is the wording is usually something like on his own terms or at the time of her choosing the pictures accompanying dylan s notice show a man with pale skin laced with fine lines and eyes rather large for his face little resemblance to the preteen and the adolescent i remember the obituaries are of course glowing testaments to his work again no traces of the calculated cruelty i and others experienced in school some years ago at a gathering of university pals who had also attended our high school a good friend mentioned dylan because he briefly lived in her community i couldn t help myself and blurted is he a nice person yet one of the women bellowed in laughter but my friend knew the question was genuine and paused thoughtfully before musing i m not sure dale and dylan are both gone and for the time being i m still here and i m not sure i m a nice person yet letting them both go is probably the kinder thing wailed by persephone at 5 04 2026 09 27 00 pm no comments random categories life and death memories obituaries school sunday 3 may 2026 remember me to leicester fields in the continuing war of the algorithms i ve really been needing palate cleansers this latest battle is with youtube it s creepy enough when ads for something i ve recently ordered online stalk me throughout a video i m watching however in the past few months it seems that the content i m sent is narrowing alarmingly even accidental pauses while scrolling though suggestions count as indications i might be interested when i m really not last week i encountered a time lapse video which picked a paris intersection and ran through possible sights seen from this vantage point from before the common era to the present foolishly i decided to suppress my distaste for ai and watch it was fairly interesting although i suspect a factor in my enjoyment might have been my not so detailed grasp of french history i counted it as a guilty pleasure predictably a couple of days ago a similar video appeared in my recommended list this one showing a time lapse view of london from someone hovering a bit back from the south bank of the thames looking towards westminster starting just before the roman occupation and gradually the palace of westminster appeared some time in the eleventh century followed by the other familiar landmarks just before the westminster bridge began spanning the thames in the mid 1700s my first flash of irritation came when the creator of this thing decided that the great fire of london in 1666 was not nearly interesting enough and set lambeth ablaze as well during the glimpse of the blitz in the 1940 a bomber crashed nose down on westminster bridge something i m reasonably sure didn t happen as devastating as the blitz was then instead of stopping with the present day the time line veered into the 2030 s and beyond with a horrific mushroom cloud appearing in the western horizon followed by the elizabeth tower containing big ben hurtling over the bridge to crush the fleeing pedestrians that ll teach me i guess it occurred to me that as demeter entered her final descent last summer i had watched fewer of my favourite youtube channels which would have a hand in making my algorithm go a bit awry yesterday i spent quite a bit of time retrieving a collection of videos giving me quite a bit of pleasure last spring they re not flashy but they re well crafted and well researched this one helped me pinpoint the location of an inn that one of my great great great great great uncles ran in the early 1790s this is the work of scott hatton whose underground map project is to record walks between the stations each video with a helping of local history they re rather like watching some of the better presentations of the british isles family history society of greater ottawa furthermore his blog the underground map has assisted me in pinpointing other london locations relating to my long departed relatives it features detailed local history and a rather wonderful layered map where you can see your chosen location on maps as early as 1700 all mercifully free of ai slop i...