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people are amazing and beautiful in all sorts of ways but every so often someone demonstrates a kind of thoughtfulness intelligence energy and has a certain chemical signal a sort of strange familiarity that isn t familial of the people i have experienced sexual attraction to most but not all are guys technically that makes me bisexual is it internalized homophobia that makes me uncomfortable with that label is it that i think i need to fit a certain stereotype and should have purple hair one half of my head shaved and a steady super romantical girlfriend to gain bisexual status does my identifying with bisexuality take away from others who are more genderfluid and who are closer to 50 50 of being attracted to their own gender and others i don t face the same stigma they do i do feel relief when someone validates that part of me even though it isn t a huge part but why just a sense of belonging posted in uncategorized 7 comments april 29 2015 by prairienymph justice centre for bigotry i received a letter asking for money to help the justice centre for constitutional freedoms trinity western university a private christian school has a law program but the provincial law societies of bc ontario and nova scotia do not accept graduates as lawyers twu has a code of conduct that all students and staff must adhere that states they will abstain from sexual intimacy that violates the sacredness of marriage between and man and a woman most of the provincial law societies have found this discriminatory against gays and lesbians and therefore against our charter of rights and freedoms because it is the justice centre argues that there is a big difference between discriminating against people and regulating behaviour through a code of conduct this almost sounds ok until we replace homosexuality with interracial marriage or religion you can fall in love with someone of a different ethnic background but do not marry them or we will kick you out of our school it aint discrimination just regulating behaviours or you can believe in a god but don t you pray to it then they have this gem banning twu graduates from practicing law in b c ontario and nova scotia is straight up anti religious bigotry left unchallenged it could set a very dangerous precedent yes of not tolerating discrimination if in the future the supreme court of canada extends the definition of marriage to include polygamy must people then support and agree with polygamy to establish a law school sigh missing the point not discriminating via actions and words is not the thought police you are free to disagree and think terrible things as long as it doesn t affect others in a totalitarian state the answer is yes in a free society the answer is no ah the orwellian double speak it then goes on to quote the fundame ntal freedoms in section 2 of the charter a freedom of conscience and religion b freedom of thought belief opinion and expression including freedom of the press and other media of communication c freedom of peaceful assembly and as an aside our current government is trying to do away with this one by changing the definition of terrorist to potentially include first nations and environmental activists and expanding surveillance and consequences for terrorism d freedom of association religious freedom is upheld no one at twu needs to change their personal beliefs about what they should or should not do with their own genitals but they do need to stop discriminatory actions the truly chilling this is that this attack on our fundamental freedoms is being led by lawyers the very people society entrusts with the practice of law in a free society the very people who should be defenders of our freedoms not the destroyers of it if those we entrust with the practice of law are undermining our constitutionally protected freedoms what hope do we have that canada will remain a free country the canadian charter of rights and freedoms unless enforced is just words on a piece of paper it is otherwise useless to protect our freedoms it requires litigation to give it any effect i think these people have no idea what freedom and discrimination actually mean which is terrifying for a school that wants its students to practice law then they shared the sad news of overturning nova scotia s ruling and their plan to go to canada s supreme court and a disgusting news article full of more inflammatory and misleading rhetoric painting the unconstitutionally discriminating school as the victim for being called out on it sometimes i forget what it was like to be on the same side as the justice centre for bigotry what it was like to think that most people were out to destroy freedom posted in uncategorized leave a comment april 10 2015 by prairienymph bow down bitches and i shall lift thee up one of the elders from the church i used to belong to loves africa many sermons contain references to things witnessed during his travels there usually these anecdotes fueled the romanticized white saviour mentality endemic to mission work this elder described witnessing a traditional greeting among one particular tribe from a place i do not remember women always wore a sturdy apron because when they greeted a man they fell on their knees with their heads down they remained this way until the man fulfilled his part of the traditional greeting by doing something that allowed them to stand back up i forget if it was a pat on the shoulder or something else but it hit a cringe factor in me mostly because i had experienced something similar and felt condescended to i waited for what spiritual truth this greeting would illustrate was it maybe galatians 3 28 there is neither jew nor gentile neither slave nor free nor is there male and female for you are all one in christ jesus that we don t need to have anyone debase themselves because christianity brought equality yes i actually thought that and yes its totally colonialistic no this elder got weepy and wistful he talked about how beautiful that greeting was how this was a beautiful enactment of proper gender roles women are always more beautiful and godly when submitting oh if only canadian women could greet men like that plus giant aprons covering the knees mean more modesty aaahh because the man was supposed to use his authority and superiority to lift women up after they bow down before him because men are like god and women are the fallen creation did it not occur to him that it was actually two adult humans both walking until one of them had to do a display of subservience until permitted to resume to the original position that he was metaphorically pushing her down so he could pull her up and take credit for it this is how it was portrayed in this man s illustration i cannot comment on the actual greeting habits and symbolisms of a culture i do not know no this couldn t have occurred to him because it means starting from a position of equality and that isn t how to do gender roles beautifully the sad thing is this elder is easily the most progressive and feminist elder in that church posted in church gender leave a comment april 4 2015 by prairienymph personal prophesies i ve had several personal prophesies of the sort where a deity is supposedly speaking through another person to give me direction i want to see if there are patterns or codes personal prophesy the first in a kitchen during a youth retreat an older woman started telling me things from the lord i don t remember exactly what she said but it felt very encouraging something about being seen and appreciated personal prophesy the second during a church service a man i did not know was given a message for me which he asked someone else to pass on it was song of songs 4 1 7 hair like goats teeth like sheep no flaw this one made me cry i was 17 and felt completely flawed and unacceptable personal prophesy the third i was helping a mature student from my grade 12 biology class to study she prophesied psalm 91 over me its the one about not dying of pestilence plague or warfare while tens of thousands around you do it promises a long life since i had still planned to be a missionary martyr at this point it was probably good for me to think about the possibility of living a while personal prophesy the fourth this was the presbytery the group of special men in suits that stand around you in a circle and give you instructions and spiritual gifts by touching you i have a transcript of some of it i am and need to be faithful to god i am supposed to prophesy and sing the things of the spirit i will exhort that s as close to teaching as a female can get in church be unto them as a signpost pointing the way lead by example a beacon to those that shall desire to walk with god for they shall see in thee the ways of god quotes of scriptures about how important scripture is psalm 91 again i have the gift of healing in my hands i felt really conflicted after this some things sounded cool who doesn t want magic hands but there was a lot of warning me to obey church authority and a vague threat at the end that i d never heard in one of these things before personal prophesy the fifth this one was the presbytery over both my lover and i something about an office referring to a leadership role in the church for him take your headship young man take it so many dirty jokes to be made submit submit submit that one was for me i felt really upset after this one trance prophesy the first a friend of mine sometimes does this it has the same cadence as the others so i m counting it here stop doing things that build resentment pursue relationships that bring joy and peace and let you be yourself release those who delight in the negative don t hold back because of others insecurities release other people s expectations and fears trance prophesy the second mostly encouragement about not being less than anyone else or responsible for fixing anyone else these last two were much more vague and could apply to anyone since it came from someone who knows me well i took it as encouragement from a friend who maybe felt too awkward to say it directly to me while the content varies the delivery style has been remarkably similar sing song cadence slow delivery almost a chant with a lot of emotion posted in uncategorized leave a comment march 28 2015 by prairienymph burgess shale pilgrimage the secular group that we are a part of went on a pilgrimage to the holy of holies the burgess shale the place of fossils so ancient so strange and so integral to evolutionary theory that all travelers must stop in awe it was a 10 hour trek our guide informed us that we went on the nicest day she had all season and that we were one of the most enjoyable groups apparently there is often friction when creationists and non creationists go to look at fossils that are over 500 million years old many of us came from not only creationist backgrounds but young earth creationist backgrounds so we felt obligated to hunt for rabbit fossils among the odaraia latas and hallucigenia sparsas like one of us had been told existed because this was many months ago i have forgotten most of the funny and interesting things that we learned which is sad because we were fortunate to have a few scientists with us there was much laughing hiking and sharing of food and water it was the perfect pilgrimage photo credits john hordyk whiskey jack base camp pygmy owl rock slide danger no talking no stopping i m in the white hat fossils everywhere the red on the snow isn t blood but snow algae after four hours of hiking we reach the spot where we are now under camera surveillance the view from across the valley a short hike from takakkaw falls nearly 1000 ft or over 300 m high sitting on fossils looking at fossils posted in deconversion uncategorized leave a comment march 23 2015 by prairienymph paintbrush song this is fiction wordy cheesy melodramatic fiction maybe i am a sappy romantic after all i will be in charge of my paintbrush today the primed canvas smiles at me daring me to do great things my fingers itch the rhythm of the music around me pulsates in my fingers and i begin at first i have complete control my fingers are still stiff and rigid like the grid i am filling in my sketch is nearly exact and ready to be coaxed into life the music changes and my mind begins to wander i remember this song its notes gently stroke my ears the way she did i can feel the small of my back ache almost as if it had been touched my rigid posture begins to melt and i swear i can smell her prairie flowers clover and hay dust sweat and that sweet smell of desire floating on the wild airy notes of our song my eyes close and i imagine her strong quick fingers playing in my hair rhythmic but loose the paintbrush falls my eyes snap open and see a dripping purple gash where my neighbour s grandmother was supposed to be then i notice in the background darting figures hidden in the foliage jumping embracing and crap i can t cover over everything i give up and let my brushes take control guided by the music the music is now urgent and throbbing the colours fly illuminating the contours and limbs and torsos twisting thrashing the aching pounding music is now ebbing away a new song my brushes softly caress the gentle curves of the newest figure rising out from the background shapes covering my carefully calculated sketch with what is looking more and more like her the music is dreamy like the deep rose of her areoli purple shadows pushing out erect nipples i can t stroke her with my fingers but my paintbrush fills in the space between us back and forth up and down around and around the music stops the light is gone tomorrow i will start again with a fresh canvas and i will know better than to listen to the music mix she made for me posted in uncategorized 4 comments october 29 2014 by prairienymph vagina dialogues i was tucking my darlings into bed when the oldest one told me mom some people have nicknames for their vulvas i ve decided to call mine vagina i replied that isn t surprising because many people call vulvas vaginas but that the vagina is inside the body and not seen while most people don t know that everything on the outside is even called a vulva so they get them confused she thought about this for a while peer pressure is pretty important and she had to decide whether she was going to believe her friends or her mom dilemma meanwhile the youngest one asked mom when do i get a vagina you already have one sweetheart you were born with it she wow me in fact you had one before you were born she awesome and got up to do the dance of excitement preschoolers do when they learn something new then they asked if they could see what a vagina looked like at that point i realized we were well into bedtime stalling techniques this morning c minor tried distracting me from getting her to eat her vegetables by asking me what colour of blood various animals had now you know how to distract me ask anatomy quest...