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description=What is it? A company? A kingdom? A gardening tool? Does it contain some kind of hidden, ancient, ninja power? The answer, friends, is none of the below.;

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Text of the page (random words):
roboshrub inc send as sms ten thousand years of roboshrub fangs for the memories in today s state roboshrub incorporated is an entity entirely devoted to the execution of what normal people would refer to as bad ideas it was the creator s original idea that all concepts whether useful or not contribute to the global subconscious level of progress for the human race therefore we contend that no idea is an unfit idea and vow to act on each and every one of them roboshrub inc public communications department customization artifact robo motif atlantic streaked dunes roboshrub classic diamond mine greenscene rusted pumpkin changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page for your insolence i condemn you to suffer the fate of a thousand bees before they go extinct roboshrub inc running with chainsaws since 2005 the much maligned print edition mission statement credits customize 12 26 2018 framed only once a decade does the pulsar align so i can reach out and see the outside world only once and one time only in that singular instant can i make contact i decided to use that opportunity to order an ergonomic seat cushion on amazon family and friends inevitably betray or let you down but my lumbar will always have my back close personal friend and magnet jeff bezos a k a giraffe bezos always says this maybe one day he ll be more than a simple bookbinder i doubt it though since as a rule giraffes don t like money but getting back to the main plot for the last 85 years i ve been sequestered in the galaxy s longest running trial back in the day a cowboy planet accidentally discovered molecular horses and used that cursed knowledge to overthrow a neighboring 1920s mob planet so naturally someone needed to be scapegoated and that someone was me probably because i did it unfortunately it took like forever to find a jury of my peers because i have no equal and refuse to sit down on public buses those seats are never clean sure sometimes they wipe them down but have you ever just kept punching a bus seat until the dust kicks up it s the opposite of awesome sauce some type of weak sauce that lacks the willpower to succeed in the dog eat sauce world out there once the jury got over themselves they realized the whole farce was just a waste of taxpayer money so they kept doing it eventually they all got bored and decided to send the judge to jail no chance of parole serves em right wearing black after labor day habeas corpus monsieur i swear if airline food ever improves jerry seinfeld is out of a job that s totally unrelated to the larger narrative but an important call out nonetheless anyway turns out the judge pulled some strings and got the whole case closed in intergalactive court that s not a good thing the minute he pushed the big button the whole courtroom collapsed into itself by the grace of king koopa my ergonomic cushion saved me from the brunt of the disaster and i was able to make it back to normal space time with only the 85 year gap it was pretty hard being old my knees hurt grandkids never called bees bees bees walked it all off now i m back in my prime much like amazon and the amazing deals you can get on ergonomic seat cushions it was in all a fulfilling journey that led me to change my ways and rekindle many failed or waning relationships such as the periodic texts i send my dentist to remind them i have teeth that s gotta be worth at least 10 friendship points right there gyrobo 10 24 pm 1 robo comments 2 13 2014 i m back whoa did time just slip up there seems like just yesterday i punched a stegosaurus in the knee and stole his roller skates i attribute my lapse of several years to a bad taco the blogosphere is indeed a changed place for one thing it s no longer called the blogosphere outside the hipster subculture that s another thing that s sprung up those hipsters let me tell you i was decrying the mainstream zeitgeist when those sheeple were still in light up sneakers waxing their cowlicks for the third grade class photo and what did it profit me self satisfaction isn t very satisfying if you can t throw it in the faces of all those who irk you past present and future it s the future irkers i really can t stand they sit in potential judgement and always will so how about that weather here at roboshrub incorporated we re doing our best our absolute level best to contribute to global warming when our founder s great great great great grandfather hiram plutarch radical rex roboshrub left the company to his grandson because his son was an unreliable amoral crackpot his dying words were by golly i sure love venus try to make earth more like it won t you at the time it was thought that beneath its bright clouds venus was a woodland paradise now we know better and we ve answered radical rex s cryptic clarion call to chlorinate the chaotic oceans that s why it was just so disheartening when that pesky polar vortex slithered across my america like a snake on a skating rink fortunately my director of heat assures me that global warming just means more extreme weather not perpetually warm weather i disputed that and immediately hired a new director who has vowed to change the climate to be more favorable to my viewpoint it s already working if my divining rod is any indication in conclusion hello it s been great seeing you people again except for you you know who you are but i ve got to run they re opening a kfc in my honor in beijing and if i m late i won t get a free biscuit parting advice keep a sweater nearby at all times especially the beach and get a haircut you hippie gyrobo 10 21 pm 12 robo comments 9 30 2011 product 9511 70a static state stockings you ve got big feet admit it and it s hard to find the time to care for those feet right and proper is it not are you constantly shuffling trying to circulate blood through those podiatric pests do your footfalls get heavier over time the stubby toes of your youth gorged to a pasty and callused husk as those sub abdominal albatrosses fatten themselves just once i m sure you say to yourself while on line at your local grocery store just once i d like a cashier to tell me i have the feet of baryshnikov yet you re willing to suffer your hooves because nobody has presented you with a viable option for long term foot maintenance feet age and mutate they adapt growing like goldfish to meet their accommodations wearing bigger shoes only exacerbates the situation larger socks blind the foot but the resulting shrinkage in offset by sock costs a certified doctor at the prestigious national institute of socketry recently released the results of a 2007 study confirming just that faced with such justified scientific pessimism you might feel helpless yet one must resist the urge to cover one s ears and stare down angrily at one s ever enlarging feet there is hope our solution comes from a more controversial field of discovery while researchers are still analyzing star charts and tiny light bulbs to determine how the universe started a long discredited theory underpins our newest product the universe is always was and ever shall be this was the mantra that echoed the halls of higher thought until the better part of a century ago today we realize that this is obviously false having asked god directly however the concept of persistence of a universe unaffected by the passage of time was so intriguing that one of our own staff managed to scrawl out a design of a product to achieve such an effect shortly before the unfortunate soul was disemboweled by his future self presenting the static state stockings you put your feet in and they cease to exist in our universe cacklin cobras you ll cry as these cotton coverings cup the corns of your chitinous clodhoppers coupling creature comfort with cosmological conniving and careful competent craftsmanship what you re feeling isn t warm or cold neither soft nor scratchy there is no pinching and no slack you are on a plane beyond pedestrian clamminess and your copilot is a lifetime warranty card once the leg staples are permanently affixed your lower extremities are forever shunted to a parallel reality where they frozen in time will no longer interfere with this season s fashions this will also increase blood flow to the face and hands causing intense swelling and the growth of unicorn horns which four of seven minnesotan cattle masseuses agree is medically acceptable you don t have to take no for an answer demand that your doctor stuff your stocking this year with a pair of static state stockings static state stockings contain 32 cotton 4 nylon 2 5 wool and less than 1 copper the remaining percentage is vacuum warning do not under any circumstances turn your static state stocking inside out or throw them into the ocean roboshrub incorporated is not responsible for static state stockings lost at public laundromats consult steven hawking before use gyrobo 9 36 pm 6 robo comments beware the roboshrub retropostal footage framed i m back product 9511 70a static state stockings outages volcanoes of new york six years idealist springtime april fools no comic today disparate pieces of clay in the tapestry that is our mission statement archival storage receptacle 06 2005 07 2005 08 2005 10 2005 11 2005 12 2005 01 2006 02 2006 03 2006 04 2006 05 2006 06 2006 07 2006 08 2006 09 2006 10 2006 11 2006 12 2006 01 2007 02 2007 03 2007 04 2007 05 2007 06 2007 07 2007 08 2007 09 2007 10 2007 11 2007 12 2007 01 2008 02 2008 03 2008 04 2008 05 2008 06 2008 07 2008 08 2008 09 2008 10 2008 11 2008 12 2008 01 2009 02 2009 03 2009 04 2009 05 2009 06 2009 07 2009 08 2009 09 2009 10 2009 11 2009 12 2009 01 2010 02 2010 03 2010 04 2010 05 2010 06 2010 07 2010 08 2010 09 2010 10 2010 11 2010 12 2010 01 2011 02 2011 03 2011 04 2011 05 2011 06 2011 07 2011 08 2011 09 2011 02 2014 12 2018 robo loads