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an unintended gap the cars are parked outside the houses for the night the snow moon is yet invisible cloaked by a thick blanket of cloud i caught a glimpse of her dress rehearsal last night as still waxing she glowed through the skylight on our upstairs landing casting a rectangle of bright white light on the carpet i had woken up for no apparent reason the cat was curled up at my feet fast asleep there was no sound from the neighbours on either side of us and judging by the extinguished street lights and pitch darkness in our street it must have been after one or one thirty i stepped into the rectangle of light looked up and stood moonbathing in the silver white glow the snow moon almost perfectly circular was looking straight down at me and i wondered if she had roused me from my sleep she stared down blindingly white ribbons of cloud drifting across her face like locks of long hair in the breeze now i wonder if i was invited to her dress rehearsal because the sky is too overcast for me to admire her in her full glory this evening the air feels calmer gentler today after the unbridled sometimes violent energy of the last two or three weeks the time of year when spring feels like a bully trying to usurp winter s throne before it is time my least favourite time of year the time of headaches dizziness weakness and foul moods ever since i was a child a time of instability and uncertainty it s imbolc spring matriculation day spring has grown from an entitled teenager to an adult who knows she is equal but not superior to the other three seasons she can now focus on preparing to blossom and bloom over the next couple of weeks and so i bid goodbye to my beloved winter rest well my gentle friend and return with new magic up your sleeves when the nights grow long again welcome spring with your blossoms your moody weather unpredictable winds and temperamental showers i look forward to seeing the trees across the street grow a glossy green mane now it s also time for me to close the curtains in our house and as i approach the bedroom window there in the distance slowly spreading from behind the horizon of black rooftops a patch of silvery white light like gossamer over the now dark teal sky i wonder if it s the snow moon rising share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading posted in uncategorized tagged imbolc katia gregor moon nature poem snow moon spring winter writing 8 comments season lag posted on december 7 2025 by scribe doll what kind of person says she misses the norwich winter when she lives in nice yes nice that place on the côte d azur with the perennially cyan sky and soft golden haze that sets the ochre and terracotta buildings aglow at sunset the city with a bay that s an expanse of apatite and aquamarine blue with flecks of mother of pearl and norwich yes in norfolk in east anglia england do i need to describe the climate well this person was me this time last year a person with acute season lag if the expression doesn t exist it should i don t know how else to describe the sense of unsettling confusion i felt on waking up in the morning wondering what month it was although i grew up in mediterranean cities rome athens and nice i had until last year spent most of my adult life living on a island where the seasons are well defined except summer perhaps which has commitment issues and the weather is so unpredictable that it s a favourite national topic of conversation in nice my senses were suddenly in a state of limbo and bewilderment we moved there in september 2024 and i basked in the sensuality of a warm bright autumn but in late october things began to feel out of sync with almost nothing but umbrella pines cypresses and other evergreens around me my eyes craved the sight of the red and gold leaves of deciduous trees my ears longed to hear psithurism that gently rustling swishing sound the wind makes when it blows through the thick mane of a tree making it quiver and sway it s one of my favourite sounds because it s a sound i hear in the late summer and it heralds the approach of autumn which i always associate with renewal and new opportunities maybe it s because i ve never grown out of academic terms beating the time of my year for me 1st september feels more like a new year than 1st january on 1st september i fill my mental satchel with new purpose the way as a girl i used to fill my satchel with new books new pencils and new notebooks i have a dear friend who hates autumn everything starts to die she says i don t see nature dying in the autumn but rather growing in inner power because it s the time when she seems to say to humans i have given you all of myself for two seasons now it s the me time the time to replenish and nurture myself and she becomes so self confident that she trusts us to still find beauty in her as her trees stand proudly bare unadorned by the leaves that have concealed the strong branches that reach ambitiously to the sky the tree sheds its leaves but that is so that these may form a warming protective blanket for its roots on hallowe en 2024 it felt odd not to be wearing if not a coat then at least a thick woollen jacket and a scarf where was autumn as i knew it my body felt as though it had skipped a stage of the year and didn t know how to adapt to what seemed like a slightly cooler extension of summer my nice friends commented on the change in season they could sense in the air of which i was totally unaware when it rained for a couple of days and just about every person i encountered complained bitterly about the unfairness of it my heart was light and jubilant i felt at home skipping a season was hard enough but skipping two was even more disorientating where s the winter my body cried out where is the kiss of cold on my skin the lady from whom i bought olives and sun dried tomatoes in the cours saleya market commented on the wind blowing in from the alps what wind you mean this light breeze where are the gales that shriek and moan and rattle your window frames when on the evening of the winter solstice i decorated the christmas tree it was more through mechanical habit than enthusiasm even the day with the longest most mysterious and magical night of the year felt to me as though it was happening in a distant world from which i had been banished i was homesick for the lead grey purple pink gold and silver shapeshifting east anglian clouds i sat on the promenade des anglais my brain bullying me into appreciating the stunning beauty of the red sunsets bleeding into the teal evening sea while my heart longed for the dark dramatic winter sunsets of graphite and gold i used to watch from my norwich balcony i missed the darkness without that darkness i had no canvas on which to project the colours of my imagination of course i couldn t really confide my homesickness to many of my nice friends who wouldn t have thought me insane after all nice is filled with expats who fled these grey skies i love so much when i was once describing the east anglian skies to one of my dear friends however she asked to see some pictures i sent them to her and this woman a talented artist saw just from my photos what i meant and this woman who has never yet seen the east anglian skies was inspired to paint them her picture now hangs in our living room when that so called winter turned to spring my body felt much happier sunlight and warmth in the spring and then heat in the summer however sweltering felt normal so to speak even though not having had a proper winter i found it hard to appreciate them after all i felt as though i had lived in the same season give or take a few degrees for ten months when we moved back to norwich i watched the approach of autumn with intense attention i smelt the slightest change in the air observed every tree slowly turn from green to blushing red to ochre to gold with unprecedented greed i spent hours on our kitchen window seat breathing in the autumn wind and watching the birch across the street change colour when autumn tiptoed into winter i welcomed the lengthening nights like friends who nurture my creativity as i write this i can hear raindrops tapping against my sash window and the wind moaning faintly across the street i can make out the birch skeletal now totally bare there is something confident and powerful about a tree that has lost its leaves this is who i am it seems to state proudly unafraid to be seen in its intimate nakedness the furrows of history and experience on its bark visible to all it s winter i am whole again share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading posted in uncategorized tagged autumn katherine gregor katia gregor nice norwich scribe doll winter writing 2 comments i m sorry it didn t work out posted on december 1 2025 by scribe doll apologies for re sending this i understand many subscribers were unable to access the earlier post i hope technology will cooperate this time i m sorry it didn t work out the phrase wormed its way into my ear even before the decision to move back was made rattled hounded flummoxed and exhausted by french bureaucracy a maze even without the extra complication of brexit i can t remember which one of us first voiced what we had both been wondering for a few weeks but dreading to admit even to ourselves do you think we should move back to norwich thinking about it it must have been me i am the great quitter in the household never had any sticking power the one who walks out of a show during the interval if i am not enjoying it or leaves a well paid job with fringe benefits because i hate it once i realise i ve made a mistake something isn t right for me isn t likely to get better or if it did the cost would be too high i head for the emergency exit howard is the level headed one the one who perseveres who doesn t give up who stays for as long as it is possible maybe the show will improve after the interval maybe the job will get better maybe it wasn t a mistake wait and see still once the possibility of having to go back to norwich was uttered out loud the sense of failure crushing disappointment and overwhelming dread of a second international house move in less than a year made it at times hard to breathe packing again when we still couldn t always remember where we had put everything after the move to nice lifting heavy boxes again when our sprains and minor injuries had only just healed looking for a new home after finding our current one however far from ideal barely eight months earlier were we really doing the right thing moreover the expense of two moves in one year would be very difficult to bear as my panic struck brain was bouncing off the walls howard kept saying the one thing that made it land back into my skull what s the alternative the alternative would have been more of his lying awake at night keeping track of all the forms we had filled in of my waking up in the morning my heart pounding so hard it felt as though it would tear through my chest wondering if there were forms we d forgotten to fill in i always joke that italian bureaucracy is part kafka and part goldoni french bureaucracy is pure kafka people smiled when i said that i d rather translate la chanson de roland than have to navigate the impenetrable labyrinthine language of administrative french before moving permanently we thought to nice we had taken exploratory trips made enquiries done careful research lists of pros and cons were drawn up worst case scenarios imagined sums done we found answers to all the questions we thought of asking only there were questions that it never occurred to us to ask in the end i ll never know for sure if we hit a brick wall because it stood unavoidably before us or if we simply grew too exhausted and confused to avoid it imagination is the first step to a successful outcome and when you re so physically and mentally tired you don t have the strength even to picture your desired outcome all you have the energy to hope for is peace of mind and sleep what will people in norwich say i finally blurted out as though that was a more important concern than the actual move i can t remember what howard replied exactly but it was something along the lines of why would they say anything and if they do why do you care norwich is a relatively small city most of our acquaintances here know one another and there can be a touch of jane austen s novels in social gatherings and curiosity about our neighbours business more than once i ve met someone who exclaimed with a varying blend of excitement as well as a pinch of triumph at being in possession of privileged information information is a valuable commodity in relatively small cities and each morsel can be dressed in more than one sauce oh i hear that you followed by the account of an alleged adventure disaster or extraordinary feat that made my relatively small life sound a great deal more glamorous than it is and now i thought these same people all sympathy would exclaim sorry it didn t work out and my imagination and paranoia would add thought you were too good for us did you look at you now come crawling back of course nobody would be unkind enough to say that or think that of course not well a few might think it those perhaps who have lived decades in the same house who find it odd that someone over thirty let alone fifty or sixty should still be renting their home have had several different professions and not had children those in whose presence i always feel socially defective but why the hell did i care anyway i have no idea but i suddenly understood people who after emigrating and falling on hard times are too ashamed to return to their home country it s hard to go back with anything less than a spectacular envy generating improvement in your life of course i kept reminding myself that there were a few of friends who would not judge smirk or make seemingly anodyne remarks that somehow managed to leave scratches on me i decided to focus only on them i figured that if they said sorry it didn t work out they would add and when it came to it they did at least you had the courage to try as we organised packed and grew even more stressed and i found myself freefalling into burnout there were dots of light to keep many of my shadows at bay my friends during our ten months in nice i had the joy and the privilege to meet a number of women who became treasured friends french australian british irish fijian austrian american generous supportive warm women with whom i felt i could be myself explore this myself in that nurturing accepting setting i learnt more about this myself in ten months than in the preceding ten years funny how some people can bring out the best in you then hold up a mirror so you can see this best in yourself sorry i...