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Text of the page (random words):
lane next friday and if the actress does her job you can tell she gets calm all of a sudden probably next friday if my plane s still okay if it isn t i might have to do it later and now steve is the one that s worried he says i really hope your plane s okay if a plane gets hurt it makes me feel the way a normal person feels if a pony gets hurt and the pills the doctor gave me for it totally utterly and completely kill my sex drive so i don t take them all the time and i like you so much i haven t been taking them honest i like you a whole lot but i just don t know what my doctor will prescribe if anything happens to that plane what a pickle wonder woman calls up her friend etta candy and asks for advice etta says i m a sidekick so i don t know much about boys if steve has the initials l l you should ask batman for advice but otherwise superman is the romance expert cut to antarctica which is the continent of romance because the cold encourages snuggling we are at the fortress of solitude so named to get a reaction out of lois lane this isn t in the movie i just know a lot of superman stuff superman and wonder woman are standing outside in the wind and snow screaming at each other in their supervoices while wearing their skimpy revealing uniforms and now he thinks i ve got an invisible plane wonder woman says screams actually according to my friend they show ice cracking and stuff like that whenever they say anything and their mouths are open really wide the whole time oh superman what am i going to do that s quite a pickle superman hollers but if you re willing to base a lifelong commitment to another person on a falsehood i think i can see a basis to proceed wonder woman bellows okay i can do that anything but the truth superman embraces her even though they are possessed of hypersexualized bodies and the only thing between them are two layers of spandex and a nasty wind chill factor it is totally platonic superman puts his lips to wonder woman s ear and whispers screams actually welcome to the life of the lie you can tell it s a real moment for both of them then superman teaches wonder woman to fly in a montage it s a serious antarctic helicopter shot festival that seems to go on forever at one point it looks like she s going to give up but not on superman s watch wonder woman says why are you making me do this but he just keeps driving her on with his relentless kryptonian will finally just as she starts tentatively lifting off and hovering over the snowdrifts superman says not like that and he squats as though he s sitting in an invisible chair and reaches out his hands as though adjusting invisible controls and then he lifts off he s flying an invisible plane you can see the dawning comprehension and relief in wonder woman s face she s not in a pickle etta was right as usual no wonder they call him superman so cut to toronto or wherever it is that steve trevor lives i think it s supposed to be new york and my friend said they were filming in toronto that stuff always mixes me up anyway it s outside in a park with tall buildings and there s a big field and steve trevor is looking up at the sky there s a speck in the distance and it gets closer and closer and you can see it s the butt and legs of a woman in a wonder woman swimsuit and go go boots and when she gets close enough it turns out that it is wonder woman and it s not a swimsuit it s her uniform she cruises in and hovers about fifteen feet off the ground and then pretends to walk down a flight of invisible stairs you can tell she s been practicing but there s an endearingly awkward quality to her motions that will charm you the viewer or so i am told when she gets to the bottom she waves at the sky and pretends to watch as something lifts and flies away then wonder woman walks over to steve trevor ready to lie like her pants which she is not wearing are on fire she says to him my plane lives in the sky and he melts he just melts wow he says i loved you from the moment i laid eyes on you but until just now i never knew how it felt to love a woman with the coolest plane in the world when you ve got a condition like mine i am so glad i m not on my pills and they kiss the end in the credits you see etta candy in a warehouse working a forklift and on the forklift is a huge yellow egg with a prehensile fu manchu mustache he s a wonder woman villain from the comics and his name is so racist i won t type it and so obvious i don t have to she moves him as he protests in a cringe inducing accent through the warehouse eventually setting him down in an open space after the credits she gets a hatchet and cracks him open as if he were an ostrich egg working her way around the top as the pitch of terror in his screams builds unbearably i promised i wouldn t tell you what s in the racist caricature but believe me it ll be worth the ticket all by itself superhero movies are the best update since they aren t going to use this script i can reveal that it was intended to be the introduction to a marvel dc crossover and the creepy egg dude turned out to be harboring a tiny little modok damned shame i ll miss this movie the way i miss the john sayles jurassic park sequel posted by sean craven at 5 10 am 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday december 30 2013 how i happened ancestry and infancy photo once again courtesy of dedicated oaf wrangler deborah kuchar so in conversation with my shrink i realized that she didn t have a clear map of my life especially in relation to my state of mental health i think i m going to try and construct some kind of therapeutic autobiography here when the missus met my paternal grandmother for the first time she turned to me on the drive home and said so you don t have any sane grandparents pretty much i said things tend to get diagnosed more often on my dad s side of the family but both of my grandfathers were alcoholics as were both of my parents my paternal grandfather died of heart failure in a psychiatric institution he had grown obese while institutionalized probably a result of his medication of course he had been locked up for getting naked and saying he was jesus so there s that side of it my other grandfather had been reported dead by my grandmother who told me dozens of different stories about the alcohol related incident that had taken him when they lived in the philippines my cousin has since found evidence that he actually moved to japan and had another family who does not wish contact with us a friend of my mother s spotted a photo of her father with his best friend my mother s friend had been an mp in the pacific theater during world war ii he pointed at my grandfather s best friend and said that son of a bitch was the biggest diamond smuggler in southeast asia i have always felt as if i were a cross between my two grandfathers they are nameless and faceless to me and they will never go away my grandmother would certainly have been diagnosed with ocd and depression if she d been diagnosed i have been told that from time to time she would tell third parties in an ominous tone that she was the only one who really understood me this suggests to me that people knew there was something up before i did and that she may have had more dramatic symptoms than she let people know about she maintained a reputation as eccentric rather than crazy her most visible oddity was her devotion to christian science which sorry monitor is a cult and is just as whacky as all get out lots of religious fanaticism on both sides of the family and i think religion disguises a lot of nuts don t you my mother also suffered from depression which she treated with alcohol and denial she began drinking heavily in her early teens and stopped just before her death when it became impossible for her to hold a beer can from time to time during my childhood she would erupt into a self righteous speech about how she would never drink or smoke during pregnancy i have been diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome my mother feared her mother when i was engendered she kept the news to herself for a while she was nineteen then and had no real direction and wasn t married so for the first part of the pregnancy i know the next statement is true though i have no evidence for it aside from myself she sat in her room smoking and drinking at first she didn t know and then she was in denial finally she told my dad they fled the state they married they travelled cross country in the company of a working con artist and my mom had me in cedar rapids iowa because that s where you go when it s fucking february she claimed to have been too broke to eat during the weeks prior to my birth people who are red headed tend to be sensitive to stress all my gray hairs were once red people who are left handed tend to be sensitive to stress i ve got some weird issues from having been switched from left to right handed there s a theory that left handedness results from stress experienced by the mother during pregnancy it sounds silly to me but i have an affection for that theory my family moved back to the bay area i lived in san francisco for a couple of years and then we settled in richmond i was a precocious child talking at an adult conversational level by the time i was nine months old so if you were in san francisco during the summer of love and you had an encounter with a talking baby that wasn t acid that was me i toilet trained myself my parents would find me naked under my crib every morning finally my dad found me crouching on the toilet bowl in the middle of the night when he got up to pee he tells that anecdote as a horror story it s pretty good my current therapist has suggested that my early development may have been a reaction to my environment my parents were too young to have kids and too drunk to have kids but thankfully they had three of us so i had a reason to keep my shit together it has only been in recent years that i ve come to realize that i was damned close to being a feral child i was not raised at all i just happened my parents provided for my needs but as for education and guidance nada or rather jokes and non sequiturs my mother could get herself interested in teaching us imaginary words or learning to pick up oranges with our feet i m actually grateful for that one monkey feet are useful but as for training in everything from grooming and manners to maintenance of health especially the latter because of her christian science background my mom thought the thing to do with a sick kid is make them feel guilty i had to go to a writer s workshop to learn that you re supposed to keep something in your stomach if you know you re going to throw up i tore a hole in my stomach because i didn t know that i could have stayed out of the hospital if i d known that that is the level of ignorance i face in myself i do not know how to operate my damned body let alone negotiate the world i may as well be from mars but since i was so clever and articulate nobody noticed when a small child is fucking with your head because they ve become prematurely existential you don t notice that they think butter is a food or bullies can be reasoned with or that they read while walking so at this point i ve got some heredity going on i ve got a terrible prenatal situation and i m being raised by negligent drunken parents and yeah i got beat some but all that was okay i was happy functional regarded as a tiny wonder by the adults in my life it was public education that screwed me up posted by sean craven at 8 28 am 8 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday december 18 2013 what s going on too tacky to use as art but how often am i holding a camera when a pelican launches itself when i started this blog it was intended more for self amusement than anything else after a while i noticed that it was a very handy means of tracking my moods and mental states but as i ve gotten more in the public eye i ve been reluctant to simply hop on the blog and put up a post that says i m feeling crappy because i m an inferior specimen and that s why i haven t been posting much in the past months in 2010 i reached a crisis point i was hospitalized after vomiting blood for three days this was a stress reaction rather than a gastrointestinal issue and i was inserted into the public health apparatus it was disastrous i was given powerful addictive inappropriate medications for just long enough to develop dependency and then denied them without warning or preparation they crapped me out of the system without ever telling me what they were doing at that point dealing with my psychiatric issues became my number one priority in life not to go into the infinitely fascinating clinical details at this point but while i am a gentle peaceful man i am drawn from the pool that produces killers and suicides and when i turn that will on myself blood flows on one hand i am a bit of a hypochondriac always wondering if any particular symptom has come to stay or is indicative of further unpleasantness to come however there is such a thing as pscychogenic disease and i get psychogenic diseases like crazy if i am sufficiently unhappy my body falls apart and that is less of an exaggeration than anyone likes but as i said dealing with this became my primary occupation at the end of 2010 the missus very generously arranged for me to consult with a good therapist who has taken me on for free because she s a generous and committed person of course but also because i m a fun client we have a very relaxed unconventional therapeutic relationship and it s worked out very well for me she isn t responsible for my therapy but she keeps me focused and in touch with reality and there have been times when her guidance has proven invaluable up until last spring the course of my work went very well indeed my shrink says she s never seen improvement like that before and i reply that i m turning my artistic skills on the medium of myself but there s a concept called the healing crisis this can take a lot of forms but what i m dealing with is perspective i ve made a lot of serious progress tackled issues i d thought unconquerable i m not scared of gatherings of people anymore i m not overwhelmed by crowds i m developing some real affection for myself and have reached a point with my self care where the missus is no longer worried about leaving me at home alone for extended periods of time and that s been the problem right there i ve gotten well enough to get a clearer view of how i look from the outside and jesus it isn t as simple as just being messed up every psychiatric issue i have is connected to some unusual mental or spiritual gift this isn t typical it s something out of a story rather than a textbook but there it is last spring i was finally facing the idea that i might have to apply for ssi and social security and so on and it started getting to me it wasn ...