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Text of the page (random words):
got myself past that i stood and sang and danced and worshipped and engaged my heart with god s and felt the freedom and release that comes with giving in to what i was created to do there s something about singing truth i ve said that before and i ll say it again when you sing or speak truth out loud something happens to your spirit no matter what you intended to do with those words they move your heart i hold firmly to that the more i sang truth tonight about who god is and what he has done and what he has called us for and promised to us the more truth about myself kept coming to light the revelations that i m so often scared to have i ve caught myself not engaging lately with the people around me with myself with god even keeping things under control because i don t have the time for life changing revelations right now how sad is that so sad so sad that when i allow those revelations to come in it s like a flood washing over me tonight i had a huge one we talked about god love for us tonight i ve found myself not accepting or believing god s love for me lately go ahead gasp worship leader chick missing key points i know my life is riddled with storms i can t explain why there are so many but there are i ve accepted that mine is just one of those stories rescue seems to be the theme and for rescue to be a theme in a story there must be peril and there typically is peril in some form or another but i decided a long time ago that no matter what i would love and worship and serve the lord and that is precisely what i am doing and will continue to do and even if he decided not to love me for whatever reason i would worship just as strongly as ever and somewhere along the way sadly i started to believe that s possible that it s even probably the case that i m in yet another one sided relationship but i would choose to love anyway it s just not true i m a hypocrite i proclaim the love of christ to anyone who will listen to me i want to shower dejected people with the knowledge that they are loved by the greatest love there ever could be but i don t claim it for myself and what s worse is i m starting to believe that s ok and i think that s why i break down almost completely when i sing about his love for me because i long for it i look for it and it s always there but i don t receive it often enough i don t sit in it s lap when i m invited i try not to ask it too many questions or repeat myself too many times so as not to annoy it i need to spend a lot of time curled up in it over this next course of time i cleared my day tomorrow to help out with something that turns out i m not needed for but i initially got these tickets for doing this thing tomorrow i think there s something to that i think i needed to revel in worship that much tonight and i think i needed to have tomorrow completely free to revel in his love all the more sorry this is so long though i m sure i don t have any readers left anyway especially since i seem to take over a month to post anymore it s high time i let god do some work in my life and i know that to do that there will be many many tears as he heals a lot of broken heartedness within me but i also trust that joy comes with that too that a new confidence will rise within me one i haven t seen in a very long time and that truth will actually set me free oh why do we keep learning the same lessons in life over and over again i m glad he doesn t tire of teaching them to us posted in uncategorized 2 comments you gotta rub me the right way christina aguilera april 17 2009 ok so i had a deep tissue massage this morning i ve only ever had one other massage in my life and it was a pretty pansy one paid for with a gift certificate but my neck and back have been in a complete and utter mess for a while now this week when i felt a knot in my right shoulder blade that kept exploding out the front of me i booked a massage out of desperation i mean it hurt so badly when i laughed and i like to laugh when you toy with my ability to laugh i get down to business here is my experience in bullet form take note if you re not a massage goer and are thinking of getting one there are obvious things i won t discuss here due to what i like to refer to as mixed company suffice it to say it was intimate but not invasive yeah intimate but not invasive there s a lot of oil involved do not wash and fix your hair before you go you will spend the entire 50 minutes screaming in your head don t get my hair all oily and not being able to do a darn thing about it you will feel gross at the end a shower is highly recommended before meeting anyone for the day she started out by informing me that the muscles on the right side of my back are significantly larger and more used than the left awesome now i feel like a freak it hurts so good sometimes love don t feel like it should apparently i have lots of scar tissue in my right shoulder what from who knows maybe i joust in my sleep one of my favorite moments was when she broke the silence with you have the hamstrings of a soccer player hmm cheerleading oh yeah that s gotta be it you guys worked hard it s true we did it s just good to know i can officially say i have the hamstrings of a soccer player i have a typical athletic build nice i call it fat good to know something good is under there somewhere she told me i can make myself taller this is great news i am sore ouch so the right side of my back is stronger and bigger well the left side of my abs are larger and stronger i have no idea what i ve been doing bottom line it was a good thing and something i think i m going to do once a month to fix some of these issues she made a lot of funny sounds i felt a little guilty at times for letting things get so bad but overall a great experience she kept asking if i had had different serious injuries i kinda wished i could think of one to tell her i mean i told her about the only one i remembered but no shoulder out of socket and no massive leg injuries that i know of again the jousting thing might be true posted in uncategorized 1 comment i love to laugh loud and long and clear dude from mary poppins april 6 2009 there s not much i love more in life than funny things you too i mean i m committed to not missing funny things i always have my ear open during conversations to whatever else funny could be said in the room at any moment i apologize if i m ever in a conversation with you and start laughing at something someone else said across the room i hate abhor despise missing funny things there are a few people that i listen out for specifically here are 2 of them quickly tripp crosby and david robertson both comedic genius if you ask me david has a dry humor that is so simple it s complex which i live for tripp knows exactly what s is and is not truly funny and somehow recycles it into something that can make me laugh for hours i cherish each of these dudes for other reasons too but today it s because they are funny read their blogs laugh bookmark them laugh again tomorrow thank me later posted in uncategorized leave a comment say what you need to say john mayer march 31 2009 sometimes i find that the more words we use the less we actually say and the more is lost in translation the more we explain the more we defend the less we listen the less we actually communicate we use too many words posted in uncategorized leave a comment i see pictures of people rising up peter gabriel march 26 2009 last month i had the distinct privilege of working with an amazing local photographer cat norman did i mention she s amazing these are shots to be used in the near future for various projects i ll let her work speak for herself here cat s incredible to work with and besides being insanely talented i think that s a high requisite for a photographer if you need anything done at all i would highly recommend cat she s a professional in every sense of the word and such an incredible woman in case you missed it the first time here s her website posted in uncategorized 2 comments strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow thomas chisholm march 25 2009 we all have stories i have to remind myself of that so often i find that when i m drawn to dislike a person if i will sit through their story they become a real person to me and i m just not sure how to dislike a real person it s the stories i don t yet know that are so easy to shrug off this is probably exactly why i have no sympathy for drivers around me surely they are just cars on the road not real people with real celebrations real questions real complications real hurt real distractions real stories i have a story it s a wild one one that some of you know one that some of you don t know one that i m not going to share here in this post it s a story filled with hurt and pain and loss but because of those things it s also filled with grace and rescue and faithfulness and freedom on sunday morning i was standing onstage doing a rehearsal before the services that day and was suddenly struck by the words it s time to write your story i ve hesitated to do so for a long time now that sentence has repeated itself in my heart since that morning it s time to write my story that s the first step to a project i ve been calling bright hope i can t wait to let you in on more of it stories one thing about stories that i learned a long time ago is this the worst part of your story is just as bad as the worse part of mine because it s the worst we ve ever known i need to be better about listening to and empathizing with the stories of the people around me and to be careful not to compare them with my own we are all blessed with stories that are filled with the faithfulness of god i m excited about sharing some of those with each other as this project gets underway in the days to come posted in uncategorized 3 comments it s oh so quiet shh shh shh bjork march 5 2009 no talking until i wake up tomorrow morning i ve already typed my side of a conversation with my roommate it s been fairly easy so far due to needing to read and study and stay home this morning and due to the technology of texting ichat and email but i ran around a couple of places today and it felt like i was in observation mode and i paid a lot more attention to the sounds everyone and everything else around me made it s fascinating i m trying to regain my voice but i m finding my ability to listen and my desire to pay better attention try it i think i may do this more often posted in uncategorized leave a comment for the longest time billy joel march 5 2009 i m not exactly sure how this week has gotten past me for all intensive purposes it s already thursday though i haven t gone to sleep yet so i insist on it still being wednesday all those things i needed to do this week have been pushed back and back it s all the little things that i was needing to be doing simultaneously alongside the actual events of the week including reading studying and learning music tomorrow tomorrow is the big day to solidify those things i ve had a sinus infection turned ugly the past few weeks now now laryngitis to boot tomorrow no talking seriously none it snowed sunday yeah no joke i mean really snowed after the 3 services at browns bridge when i typically would have fallen into a coma in my bed at home i got dressed and took marta to candler park where i met holly lots of bashing about in the snow good fun bad idea sick we slumber partied because that s what you do on a snow day monday was amazing lazy and beautiful and full of playing and swinging on a swing set and speaking of woman type things in the park with 3 of the amazing evans girls monday night slumber party part 2 this time including a fashion show and half of james dean the movie tuesday photo shoot with the amazing and talented cat norman she s incredible to work with and such a great gal seriously check her out that was an all day and cold affair and so much fun complete with lunch at cafe di sol coffee at san fran and din din at my favorite figo slumber party part 3 finished off james dean felt like i was vacationing at the evans bed and breakfast it s been amazing today holly and i drove up to alpharetta to pick up my car at the shop while singing billy joel at the top of our lungs we rattled off a list of songs that one could start in a group of musicians and have everyone claim parts and jump in immediately ie for the longest time duke of earl ob la di etc then i had my artist s way meeting at north point then down to jarrett and jeanne s for a fiesta and lost ole seriously can that show get any better and did i just say ole tomorrow is a silent day well not really it will be filled with music but silent from me no talking and most certainly no singing i have to hop on a plane to texas early on friday for a d now in odessa busy busy busy but soooo wonderful no matter what i happen to love my life posted in uncategorized leave a comment i m making a new life for myself griffin house february 20 2009 it s friday i slept in without shame i got up went to the bank got gas and came to octane to meet the ever fabulous emily matthews i love this joint is it your cliche artsy coffee bar where the cool people hang out yes but i still like it without shame i ve been here since 2 30 and have no real plans of leaving yet we ll see what comes along i ve been making lists all day laughing with emily checking facebook every 3 minutes as though i hadn t done it all day and watched fascinating people i swear the oldest hanson brother has been here as long as i have sitting at the bar and jared hamilton s twin brother works here i had the best grilled cheese sangwich with goat cheese swiss cheese onions and dijon and the best latte in town i know i keep talking about it but there are new things afoot in life for me 3 goals in particular and i m not scared to tell you what they are 1 music project this is the most forefront and active goal currently i m currently writing a lot for an album yeah mine some will say about time others will say really some duh others you think that s smart and still others will say why to all of you i have no answers i do too that s a lie call me if you really want one of them now may not be the time to chase your dreams economically but doesn t that mean that those of us who have now get jipped we better do it anyway because we don t get another now i m really excited about this project but not interested in rushing it we ll see how it all comes together stay tuned 2 life liberty rockandroll i want to start an organization too much to explain now but i m in the process of meeting with a lot of people and brainstorming and making a million lists about starting an organization to raise money to stop the human trafficking issue here in atlanta and to bring the local music community together it s a sad excuse for a community and we need to do something about both these issues 3 bright hope a book i know you may laugh but i want to write a bo...