Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

february, 2013, me, blog, cd, submerged, pages, thursday, 28, friday, 22, wednesday, 13, about, contact, followers, archive, search, this, labels, resources, due, date, who, the, heck, knows, what, on, and, don, care, cycle, 23,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (55), and (36), that (23), for (20), you (15), but (14), with (11), are (11), this (10), been (10), what (9), share (9), now (9), new (9), her (8), all (8), home (7), has (7), too (7), have (7), she (6), due (6), divorce (6), last (6), were (6), good (5), #february (5), like (5), email (5), tutti (5), not (5), just (5), right (5), going (5), would (5), know (5), into (5), much (5), infertility (4), perspective (4), next (4), blog (4), labels (4), 2013 (4), things (4), hope (4), had (4), able (4), some (4), feel (4), day (4), need (4), weeks (4), continue (4), few (4), immediately (4), one (4), was (4), life (4), trying (3), support (3), more (3), grief (3), may (3), don (3), date (3), after (3), two (3), years (3), pinterest (3), facebook (3), blogthis (3), comments (3), posted (3), wish (3), maybe (3), look (3), back (3), each (3), long (3), went (3), bit (3), very (3), our (3), friend (3), how (3), there (3), think (3), pain (3), walk (3), road (3), from (3), than (3), these (3), never (3), see (3), driving (3), where (3), today (3), heart (3), simple (2), about (2), resolve (2), work (2), unexplained (2), tests (2), steps (2), miscarriage (2), mending (2), marriage (2), dates (2), november (2), december (2), january (2), cycle (2), who (2), heck (2), knows (2), care (2), can (2), name (2), landing (2), find (2), miscarriages (2), bruised (2), broken (2), water (2), posts (2), could (2), keep (2), guys (2), lurch (2), battle (2), still (2), close (2), raw (2), better (2), forward (2), mike (2), they (2), should (2), will (2), its (2), used (2), door (2), because (2), face (2), both (2), move (2), out (2), live (2), same (2), days (2), man (2), love (2), makes (2), even (2), mine (2), get (2), converse (2), sneakers (2), trip (2), together (2), dog (2), open (2), bright (2), knew (2), take (2), break (2), did (2), also (2), through (2), light (2), listen (2), while (2), want (2), left (2), son (2), words (2), hers (2), submerged (2), theme, powered, blogger, redbook, truth, national, association, stirrup, queen, completely, anal, list, blogs, proves, really, missed, calling, personal, organizer, resources, vasovagal, symptoms, thyroid, sex, relationships, pregnancy, photo, challenge, memorial, living, iui, injectables, hpt, follistim, financial, feelin, fears, family, dandc, bfp, anniversaries, acupuncture, 2ww, search, 2011, march, april, june, july, august, september, october, 2012, archive, followers, any, reason, submerged77, gmail, com, contact, place, married, struggling, three, early, almost, totally, diagnosis, beneath, surface, hidden, obscured, overwhelmed, overburdened, adj, sub, merged, subscribe, atom, older, chronicle, events, month, someday, reflect, allow, extra, processing, intense, simultaneously, goes, blink, end, point, owe, explanation, happened, why, failed, horribly, wrong, betrayal, anger, coloring, world, vividly, distance, dissect, please, bare, logistically, moving, quickly, filed, preliminary, paperwork, signed, market, ago, miracle, already, escrow, occupied, owners, within, cogs, motion, asked, question, other, over, humor, analogy, told, priest, came, douse, holy, evil, energy, palpable, hefty, dose, garlic, might, order, case, sometimes, laugh, normal, such, thing, people, finances, neither, under, roof, hell, anyone, lived, dread, hearing, front, lock, hitch, seeing, forever, unconditionally, father, children, morphed, stomach, emotion, hatred, possible, sunday, breakfast, girlfriend, supposed, shopping, got, caught, migas, bloody, marys, beach, wanted, east, spot, didn, happen, toes, sand, numbing, alcohol, warm, sun, faces, seemed, rip, away, regrets, wonderful, healing, afternoon, retail, therapy, tonight, stepped, surprised, package, doorstep, wasn, something, ordered, confused, gingerly, pried, box, contained, brand, pair, red, hit, sense, overwhelming, friendship, compassion, understanding, kind, bad, ass, modern, version, own, ruby, reds, click, heels, symbolic, socks, cristy, sent, wednesday, titling, scheme, 100th, post, survive, hundred, entries, dreamed, scarred, those, wounds, heal, stronger, ever, imagined, feeling, steady, shift, calm, carefree, meeting, peoples, eyes, them, street, smiling, haven, many, shining, fills, dare, say, walked, cindy, office, yesterday, said, twinkling, across, country, actually, epic, filled, girlie, adventure, memorabilia, drooling, taken, mission, put, most, amazing, playlist, soundtrack, movie, hasn, filmed, yet, every, morning, emails, teaser, turn, volume, reckless, abandon, imagine, time, played, stopped, edge, crater, grand, canyon, sunset, desert, navajo, reservation, watching, skyline, nyc, emerge, horizon, come, realize, silent, only, heard, white, noise, stress, buzzing, background, music, pumping, play, button, pressed, dance, _________________, small, blogging, plan, return, once, settled, months, selfish, saying, concentrate, hate, suddenly, upsets, knowing, celebrating, waiting, mourning, sorry, your, stories, important, carry, everywhere, friday, second, little, girl, woke, tear, streaked, wet, pillow, thankful, sting, runs, straight, met, beautiful, midnight, night, found, sitting, inbox, facing, down, black, loss, written, well, tore, sobbing, daughter, unknown, lies, ahead, felt, connected, someone, joy, intimately, understood, trisha, husband, made, illustration, his, wife, request, touched, when, strength, breeze, blow, gently, shine, sweet, thursday, etiquette, disclaimer, ttc, timeline, pages,

Text of the page (random words):
submerged submerged pages home ttc timeline disclaimer if etiquette thursday february 28 2013 due date 2 today is my due date for my second for my little girl i woke up with a tear streaked face and a wet pillow there is so much good in my life right now and i m so thankful for all of it but the sting of what today is what it should have been runs straight into my heart i wish that i could have met her today i know she would have been so beautiful at midnight last night i found an email sitting in my inbox from my sweet t she is facing down the same black day the loss of her son in just two more days her words were written for me but i know the pain is hers as well her words tore into my heart and i was left sobbing for my grief for hers for my daughter and her son for the unknown in what lies ahead for both of us i ve never felt so connected to someone where i knew my pain and joy were so intimately understood trisha s husband j made this illustration for me at his wife s request i am so touched i will keep it close to my heart and look to it when i need strength may the breeze blow gently and the light continue to shine posted by tutti at 10 42 am 21 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels due dates friday february 22 2013 who the heck knows what cd i m on and i don t care how s that for a break in titling scheme this is my 100th post never did i think that this blog would survive one hundred entries i also never dreamed that it would see me through 3 miscarriages and a divorce but it did and you know what it s ok i m not broken i m battle scarred and bruised but those are wounds that can heal i am also much stronger than i ever imagined the last few weeks i have been feeling a steady shift i am calm and carefree i m meeting peoples eyes as i walk by them on the street and smiling that light that i haven t been able to see for so many years is shining bright i see it now and it fills me with so much dare i say it hope i walked into cindy s office yesterday she said tutti what s going on with you you are twinkling she s right i am i m driving to my new home across country with a very good friend of mine this one actually it s going to be an epic road trip filled with girlie adventure rt 66 memorabilia and a drooling dog my friend has taken it on as her new life s mission to put together the most amazing playlist for us to listen to while driving the open road it s like a soundtrack to a movie that hasn t been filmed yet every morning she emails me a teaser to listen to i look forward to these and turn the volume up with reckless abandon while trying to imagine where we ll be next time its played stopped at the edge of the crater of the grand canyon at sunset driving through the desert of the navajo reservation watching the the skyline of nyc emerge on the horizon i ve come to realize that for the last few years my life has been silent i ve only heard the white noise of stress and grief buzzing in the background but now the music is back on it s pumping it makes me feel so much the play button has been pressed and now all i want to do is dance _________________ i m going to take a small break from blogging i plan to return once i move and get settled into my new home it may be as long as a few weeks maybe even months as selfish as i feel saying it i just have to concentrate on me right now i hate that i left you all so suddenly it upsets me not knowing where you are celebrating waiting mourning i m so so sorry it s not because i want to i hope you all know that each one of you and your stories are very important to me i carry you guys with me everywhere i go i continue to hope for all of you posted by tutti at 12 12 am 16 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels divorce mending perspective wednesday february 13 2013 cycle 23 cd 2 i wish that i had been able to chronicle the events of the last month so that maybe someday i could look back on it and reflect maybe allow for some extra processing and not keep you guys in the lurch but it has just been too intense i simultaneously feel like each day goes by in blink and like each day is a long battle that has no end at some point i owe you all an explanation of what happened why my marriage failed what went so horribly wrong but right now i m still too close to it it s still too raw the betrayal and anger are coloring my world too vividly right now i need distance and a bit of perspective to be able to dissect it better please bare with me for a bit logistically things are moving forward very quickly i have filed the preliminary divorce paperwork mike has signed our home went on the market two weeks ago by some miracle we are already in escrow if things continue to work as they should my home will be occupied by its new owners within the next few weeks the cogs are in motion a friend asked me a simple question the other day how are things going over there i used humor in an analogy i told her that if a priest came to my door he would immediately douse it in holy water because the evil energy is so palpable i think a hefty dose of garlic might be in order too you know just in case sometimes you need to laugh in the face of pain in a normal divorce is there such a thing one or both people move out immediately but due to finances neither of us were able to do that we have been and continue to live under the same roof it is a hell i don t wish on anyone my days are lived in dread of hearing that front door lock un hitch and seeing mike walk in i used to think this was the man i would live my life with forever love unconditionally be the father of my children but now he has morphed into the man that makes my stomach lurch and feel the raw emotion of hatred how is that even possible last sunday i went to breakfast with a good girlfriend of mine we were supposed to go shopping but got too caught up in our migas and bloody marys on the beach i had wanted to get some new converse sneakers for the long road trip back east my new landing spot but it didn t happen toes in the sand a bit of numbing alcohol and the warm sun on our faces seemed too good to rip away from no regrets we had a wonderful healing afternoon together so much better than retail therapy but tonight as i stepped out to walk the dog i was surprised to find a package on my doorstep it wasn t something i ordered but it had my name on it confused i gingerly pried it open the box contained a brand new pair of bright red converse i was immediately hit by a sense of overwhelming love friendship compassion understanding kind of like the symbolic socks that cristy sent me after my last miscarriage i immediately knew that these were more than just new bad ass new sneakers these were a modern version of my own ruby reds and they are going to take me home all i need to do now is click my heels posted by tutti at 11 04 pm 12 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels divorce next steps perspective support older posts home subscribe to posts atom sub merged adj 1 beneath the surface of the water 2 hidden obscured 3 overwhelmed overburdened about me my name is tutti and this is my landing place for all things infertility i m 36 married and struggling to find hope after a diagnosis of unexplained infertility and three early miscarriages after almost two years of trying we re bruised but not totally broken contact me if you d like to email me for any reason you can submerged77 gmail com followers blog archive 2013 6 february 3 due date 2 who the heck knows what cd i m on and i don t care cycle 23 cd 2 january 3 2012 82 december 1 november 8 october 11 september 7 august 7 july 7 june 3 may 4 april 6 march 10 february 8 january 10 2011 13 december 10 november 3 search this blog labels 2ww 9 acupuncture 2 anniversaries 1 bfp 7 blog 1 dandc 6 divorce 4 due dates 2 family 1 fears 4 feelin good 9 financial 2 follistim 2 grief and support 10 hpt 5 injectables 11 iui 7 living with infertility 15 marriage 2 memorial 2 mending 7 miscarriage 24 more tests 9 next steps 9 perspective 3 photo challenge 7 pregnancy 10 relationships 6 resolve 3 sex 5 support 1 tests 4 thyroid 11 unexplained symptoms 8 vasovagal 1 work 2 resources the stirrup queen s completely anal list of blogs that proves that she really missed her calling as a personal organizer resolve the national infertility association redbook s the truth about trying simple theme powered by blogger