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t a new pain i have peripheral neuropathy and i can t feel the bottom of my feet so that balance is difficult i have a foley catheter in place and it will always be there irritating me until the end of my life though my home health nurse comes to change the catheter every three weeks i am only free of the thing for a few minutes while she prepares to insert the new one my original diagnosis of copd has not changed and the nurse always reports that my lungs sound clear yet in the evenings i develop a rough cough and bring up lots of phlegm my cat boo the wonder cat is in failing health she is close to twenty years old so it is not unexpected she just left my lap despite her weakness she loves to climb up and into my lap the rest of her day is spent sleeping nearby she has just two teeth so soft food is now on her diet she never seems to be in pain so that s a relief our granddaughter just revealed that she made the u s team of women s wheelchair basketball she is also on the u s team for water skiing the basketball team is going to thailand to compete while the water ski events are being held in elk grove ca that s not as exotic as thailand more later posted by steven at 8 05 2023 11 50 00 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday july 18 2023 by the sea by the sea by the sea by the sea by the beautiful sea you and i you and i oh how happy we ll be growing up in a small beach city i lived those lyrics written in 1914 everyday the ocean was an elementary part of life and i couldn t imagine a life without it nearby as a child i would walk along the shoreline watching the waves advance upon the sand and then slowly retreat barefooted i would stand in the shallow water and feel the scurrying sand crabs under my toes i would wander over the pilings that held up the pier and investigate the life that was attached to them barnacles and mussels that were patiently waiting for the next high tide so that they might live for another day sometimes i wonder if wasn t all a dream looking back on those days it seemed like the perfect life i could wander all alone with no one to disturb my thoughts i would move closer to water to see it cascade onto the dry sand then the water would return to the ocean while i watched the sand changing color as the water drained away sometimes another wave would arrive before the last one had returned and there was a small disturbance before they agreed on the direction they were going sometimes i would watch as someone that was older than me unwrapped a bundle of white cloth it was a bedsheet and they would get it wet and then run down the beach holding it high over their head then i would see that it was actually two sheets sewn together on three sides and as they ran the sheets would gather up the air until the whole thing looked like a giant pillow then a quick move would knot the open end closed now they could take it out into the surf and ride it like a surf mat i would sometimes wonder if my mother would sew one for me i never asked and it never happened sigh once i was old enough to venture out into the surf where the waves were forming up i watched as the body surfers would wait till a good wave was coming and then as it curled up just before crashed onto the shallows they would swim as hard as they could to catch the wave allowing them to be pushed along with wave all of the way to shore it took awhile but i did learn how to to do this and enjoyed every ride i wasn t ready for a surfboard and never would be i knew a lot of surfers at school and i was just one grade behind dewey weber at center street elementary i remember dewey winning an award for his prowess with a duncan yo yo dewey want on to become a great surfer and surfboard maker back in the 40 s and 50 s surfboards were made from balsa wood in the mid 50 s boards were beginning to be constructed with polystyrene foam with a fiberglass coating as the finished surface well that was fun being back some old memories posted by steven at 7 18 2023 04 53 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday july 17 2023 when will it end yes this is all about depression like most autistics i am well acquainted with depression and have been taking wellbutrin for about 30 years no it doesn t help much i think but i don t dare stop taking it because i could be wrong why so depressed let me count the ways neuropathy vision clumsiness loss of muscle hearing loss dentures loss of ambition etc etc vision problems has me needing two different pairs of glasses two very large floaters that disrupt my vision i have hearing aids but when i change glasses the process of changing will pull one or two of the hearing aids out of my ear the vision problems probably contributes to clumsiness i use la croix so that when i spill it or knock it over it is only water to cleanup i have been exercising daily for months now and my muscle mass began to increase lately it has reversed once again peripheral neuropathy affects my balance as i can t feel the floor now because i can t balance i don t dare go outside without someone to watch over me i can t suddenly decide that i want to see something outside i have to schedule it dentures are all my fault as i certainly didn t care for my teeth as i should have i do use a walker both inside and out i also have to use a permanent foley catheter i can t say it s permanent as my home health nurse comes by every six weeks to remove it and then she installs another one in its place for brief moment i am free of it i also have frequent nose bleeds although i do use a gel to moisten the lining of my nose i have little choice for my apparel i bought some capri length shorts because they conceal my leg bag i also have four or five tee shirts that i wear as i am not motivated to do much else i forgot to mention that the dentures make speech understandable speech very difficult for me the good news i will have the capillaries in my nose cauterized to stop the bleed first appointment is 6 weeks from now pretty much typical these days as the number of doctors available goes from few to even fewer i have to stop writing it s far too depressing posted by steven at 7 17 2023 02 34 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday july 7 2023 10 reps x 3 it s time to exercise again sigh it s what i do every day well maybe five times a week i try to start early in the am by taking a long walk true i have to use my walker to get it done still it is walking and this morning my phone app stated that i had walked 1 5 miles in 30 minutes that is not how fast i used to walk when i was racewalking a marathon back then i was using 13 minute miles for my training pace and then making it my goal for the entire 26 2 mile race after the walk it is time for a 30 minute set of partially seated exercises to exercise my body from head to toes i keep hoping that my peripheral neuropathy will benefit from the foot exercises but nothing so far i try to do all of this in the cool of the mornings speaking of cool i read a story about hermosillo in sonora state in mexico the new york times reported that the city of almost a million citzens had been hit with a high temperature of 121 degrees try and imagine what that kind of heat would do to your city the farms and ranches the elderly i had to work for a few weeks in phoenix when the temperature was 117 that was probably 50 years ago we were building out the interior of a broadway weinstocks department store 3 floors and no windows while we were putting up steel studs and drywall after a few days we decided to start work at 4 am and go back to our apartment at noon posted by steven at 7 07 2023 11 57 00 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday july 6 2023 of many things just another week another day my extremely significant other has gone to the local winco for some therapeutic shopping i am going through my exercise routine as i try to keep this failing body from deteriorating any further i did my usual one mile walk yesterday and i haven t fallen in weeks even months i guess that means i am getting better as i walk through the neighborhood i can t help but notice all the rv s boats and other adult toys that are parked along the route i take i remember reading that there had been a rush to buy recreational equipment during the long months of covid isolation that isolation has disappeared and now many of those toys are sitting parked lonely and covered with dust we had a scare the other day when our garage became filled with extraordinarily strong fumes it wasn t gasoline but it smelled as if it were extremely flammable what was it we hadn t smelled it earlier in the day it didn t help matters that it was the hottest day of the four day heat wave i opened the smaller garage door while i looked around for the source my wife told me that there was some sort of liquid puddle on top of the painting i had been working on i stood back and looked at puddle and saw that it was actually a long line of liquid and when i traced that line i saw that it went to a collection of paint spray cans on a shelf i looked closer and saw that one of the cans had lost its spray top it turned out that the sun coming in a nearby window had heated that can until the top blew off it was a spray gloss finish and had effectively ruined the painting i wasn t happy with the painting but i now had a good reason to cover it with gesso and start over with the fan running and pushing the fumes out it wasn t long before the garage was cleared my wife and i are fans of british australian and new zealand television we really don t care for the american shows and haven t watched any of them in years in our opinion the american shows simply don t have the talent for directing producing and acting some of our favorite shows were shetland happy valley halifax endeavor grantchester mc donald dodd good karma hospital under the vines 800 words kidnap and ransom brokenwood mysteries a place to call home and many more we use headphones while watching and that helps us to understand some of the more complex accents shetland and happy valley come to mind as being difficult to understand okay that s all for now cheers posted by steven at 7 06 2023 11 42 00 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday july 3 2023 what is the matter with these people i thought that i would start the day off by reading the ny times i may have made a mistake by doing that first i read a story about the book reviews found on goodreads a lot of people are leaving one star negative reviews for books that they haven t read and that is because the books haven t been published yet in a few instances the books haven t even been written yet they are only outlines the mental gymnastics required to do such evil is beyond my understanding why would you cause so much pain to people you don t even know then i read about the ongoing crisis caused by people that enjoy banning books this assault on our freedom s is gaining strength this is the attitude that brought about the middle ages sometimes aptly called the dark ages then i thought about the previous problem with goodreads and realized that it was the same mentality driving both stories ignorance demanding more ignorance i read a lot of books an average of i would say 2 1 2 books a week i started reading serious reading at the age of 8 i had asthma and the reading let me be anywhere at all when i wasn t able to get out of bed when i was 9 i was reading all of the richard halliburton books and going on great adventures with the author i must agree that books are very powerful and some people shouldn t read some books but who gets to make that decision and why that person perhaps the decision should be made by this person or maybe it should be you or me or we could let the person that is reading make the decision now that is freedom i grew up a long time ago while we lived in the low income lower middle class town of manhattan beach ca yes back in the 40 s 50 s and 60 s it was very much a sleepy beach village with a volunteer fire department a dairy live cows and a small library watched over by two blue haired matrons that guarded the gates of the adult section keeping impressionable children at bay then one day while playing in the forbidden pollywog pond making rafts out of old pallets and collecting pollywogs i noticed something new on the opposite side of center street it looked like a barn but it had a sign out in front branch library we paddled back to shore and made our way across the road and went in a very friendly older lady without blue hair asked us if we wanted any books to read yes we did and she led us through every aisle of the small library even into the adult section along the way she asked if we had any special interests we did and it was astronomy she took us right to the shelf in the adult section that held those books we chose a few books and she checked them out for us we now knew where we would go to get our library books even though we had to cross the forbidden highway sepulveda to get there from then on librarians held an elevated position in my mind they still do posted by steven at 7 03 2023 04 00 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday june 24 2023 do you remember when the mail was delivered twice a day by someone with a heavy leather bag strapped over their shoulder and you knew his name the newspaper came twice a day the mirror the herald express the daily news but never ever a los angeles times that was a hearst paper and my mother would never allow that paper in her house the daily news and mirror were morning papers while the herald was the evening paper news magazines were popular we would get the time and the life magazines mother always said that time was for people who couldn t think and life was for people who could not read story magazines were common such as colliers blue book and etc even cosmopolitan was a literary magazine at the time filled with short stories yes i read them all and i went to the library whenever i could why because reading is learning and that is why some people would ban some books posted by steven at 6 24 2023 11 01 00 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday june 21 2023 here it comes revised i believe that today is the first day of summer and i read that we will see our first day of 100 degrees or more in about a week from now after that there will be no holds barred and i would bet that 100 degrees will be the new daytime low temperature for the next 90 plus days depressing isn t it i imagine that is going to be the new normal for us and i am so glad that we have solar power even though it is an older system we began leasing it about 5 years...