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cupboards revealed how bad it had been luckily we had some paint and everything was filthy actually filthy like real earnest filth a fine or sometimes actual crumbling layers of slime and grime over everything and that was after my mother in law had been set loose on the place for two weeks and after i paid for a move in cleaning i don t even want to think about what it looked like before but filth is manageable right nothing that a little elbow grease and sometimes actual goo gone and commercial cleaners can t fix and if you can t well paint covers a lot we think they were actually keeping dirty diapers in the laundry room cupboards for instance there was an undeniable stench of human waste while scrubbing those one of the smartest things we did before we left was hire someone to paint the three bedrooms at the time it felt very luxurious but had i known how absolutely disgusting this place was i would have picked out more paint colors for more rooms i don t even want to think about what the painter covered up especially looking at the state of the damage on the trim and flooring and then there was just the criminal lack of maintenance some of the outlets are so old that when you put a plug into the outlet it falls out because it s so shot the furnace didn t work and our home inspector apparently heard it turn on but didn t check to see if it heated the light fixtures in the bedrooms were so bad that our painter took them down to paint and said no i can t put these back up i can t even donate these to habitat for humanity they re dangerous the garage door showed daylight through it there are storm windows missing there is significant evidence of past rodent activity in the basement although nothing fresh a small miracle the refrigerator light was out not burned out literally missing the refrigerator was also missing its filter and maybe no one ever noticed because the water to the ice maker water dispenser had been turned off due to leaking like a sprinkler in the basement if you don t have the water for it turned off that fridge is jammed into the space so tightly that they just cut some of the house trim on the side of the door to make it fit the stove blew out the third time we used it luckily esteban figured out the issue and chanced that a cheap ish part would fix it and it did but not before we uncovered even more signs of disgusting past occupants and their filth every window treatment left behind was stained or broken we don t know how many renters this place had previously but it sounds like there was very high turnover and maybe it s because the previous owners were terribly disinterested landlords eeeehck what about a home inspection yes that there was so much to find and report on it was a bit like chasing cats the home inspector did find a problem with the electrical that was a dealbreaker so we wrote it into the close requirements that the owners had to fix that issue they fixed it by also blowing out half of the front of the house which of course we didn t discover until we took ownership and then they refuse to pay for the electrical guy to come back and fix his mistakes so that s on us now too then there s the what the fuck element of ham fisted home maintenance for instance the beautiful original double doors that i was so in love with one has been glued or cemented shut there s a three season room off the backyard but the door into the house the side of the lock where you put the key is on the inside of the house the other side of that door seems to have a million random holes punched into it that have been hastily filled with mismatched wood putty and whatever happened to the door probably happened to the ceiling too but they didn t bother trying to fill those holes the screen door into that porch the handle is just broken off both showers are held up with bungee cords the tile frame around the main bathroom is falling off but someone has helpfully slapped brown packing tape across it the mirror and the wall as one might a band aid and then there s the i don t even want to know elements for instance there s a fairly new pergo floor in the kitchen however there s a random hump in the middle of the kitchen where the flooring bows and flexes and that flooring was installed so sloppily that not only did they not account for the two pocket doors which now cannot open due to the floor but they also installed it around the dishwasher so if this shitty dishwasher and it s so shitty it s such an old piece of crap that the basket for the silverware had holes in the bottom so it didn t actually hold silverware breaks or needs more maintenance we get to take apart the floor too in order to replace it how they made the refrigerator fit in the kitchen so far we ve replaced the garage door which looks gorgeous paid to have the fireplace converted to gas while also having gas run for eventually replacing the stove replaced all of the exterior light fixtures that are broken or mismatched fixed the furnace and started replacing the light fixtures in the bedrooms which isn t a big deal it s just a question of deciding as such unpacking has been mostly a staggered affair we still have cupboards in the kitchen for instance that need to be cleaned fixed repainted before we can load them forget about hanging artwork yet we re still just trying to get the kitchen in place we had to buy a heat gun to remove the disgusting dirty contact paper glued onto the shelves which was glued down on top of filthy older contact paper like they didn t even wipe up the shelf before putting down the paper who does that we ended up buying another leaf blower that could accommodate a gutter cleaner to safely deal with the literal years of detritus in the gutters so that we wouldn t have ice berms this winter normally we d just use a ladder but of course the ground and yard has been so poorly maintained that you can t safely use a ladder on several areas around the house a 50 filter for the fridge before we figured out the plumbing fiasco here a 60 dishwasher silverware basket and a 18 rinse aid toggle there and then we had to pay the city 95 to replace the city provided garbage cans because the one left by the former owners had a big fucking crack on the bottom and that s just a nightmare waiting to happen anyway that happened but we re glad to be back and after we have kind of recovered from our disappointment in the shape of the house we appreciate the good bones the little delightful details here and there the original elements that can be absolutely saved and treasured we re going all in this time fixing the stuff that prevent us from being truly happy with our living situation and trying to mitigate the stuff we can t using every ounce of our resilience and creativity we wanted a quarantine project we got one filed in bloggy goodness comments 4 leaving las vegas thursday august 20 2020 so here s what las vegas summer is like blowing hot wind like standing in front of a hair dryer or an oven door just opened a wooof of hot air that just keeps coming and it never not ever cools down 330 days of sunshine months and months without a rain drop occasional wind storms that blow dust and valley fever fungus and every piece of trash out of open garbage cans some of which flip open because of said hot wind you can look 300 feet up in the sky and think there are birds circling but then realize it s a collection of garbage plastic grocery bags and newspapers and receipts pretending to be seagulls and have i mentioned the plants or wildlife that wants to sting or destroy you and first degree burns if you stupidly touch something metal in the afternoon tl dr version hot blowing garbage also scorpions despite all of the easy reasons to hate vegas i m going to really miss it i m going to miss taking the dogs out at 2 am and not worrying about putting on something to stave off a chill because it will feel like crawling back under the covers i m going to miss flowers in january i m going to miss iced coffee and bare legs in november i m going to miss drinking with writers on patios in february huddled around the outdoor heaters but still relatively comfortable i m going to miss the indescribably amazing smell of the desert after it rains and the way that plants that looked beige or disappeared 99 of the time suddenly bloom forth with scarlets and blues and bright neon pinks the second they get a drink i m going to miss taco trucks and picanha trucks and arepa trucks i m going to miss the pastrami and the people i m going to miss that there s an actual authentic literary community here i m going to miss seeing someone at parties who looks like that one famous writer and it s actually that one famous writer i m going to miss not worrying about wearing makeup to go to the store because no one judges you i m going to miss being relaxed about sweat because it just means your body is working to cool you off and i m really going to miss my friends i m going to miss our ridiculous adventures i m going to miss the delight of going to a bar downtown where none of us lives and having each of them randomly walk in unplanned because despite being a city of over 2 million it s really a series of small concentric circles thousands of tiny social townships that move through a larger geographical area it is so many psychological small towns nestled together and intertwined but very much unique and distinct so we found a house i used my secret super power and wrote a letter and it worked it always works whenever i deploy this emotion missile during home buying it works we got our minions in the house about six hours after it went on the market and then drafted up an offer that evening three days later we went up against six other buyers but the letter is powerful they had no chance against the siren call of the letter the house is somewhat of a midcentury wreck still too much money to be honest definitely not a deal by any stretch but it has fantastic bones and hits many of our requirements neatly i don t love it with all of my heart like i did our last house but i m awfully fond of it it s a bit weird projecting your feelings on something you ve only seen through pictures i imagine we ll feel differently once we get into the house and if my affection shifts well we can always buy another house so now we re in boxes as they say in animal crossing i ve packed up my entire office and much of the master bath and guest room and a whole lot of the kitchen stuff i m reluctant to pack the artwork because there s something really awful about an echo y house in my brain but they are next on the list we ve gone round and round on how to manage the move in a pandemic and at the end of the day the thing that makes the most sense is to hire one of those moving box things load it up and then esteban and i will drive with the dogs across the country pulling our bug jalopy on a trailer the cat will be fetched by my brother in law eric and flown back in the cabin to make life easier on her and reduce our anxiety of losing a cat during a road trip we will arrive probably days before our belongings show up and will likely spend that time unloading moving our storage units there and doing general oh we have a new house tasks to compound the general chaos i ve been assigned three classes to teach this fall two sections of the same 101 course and then a lit class i ve never taught before then i was assigned a fourth a section of 102 which meant a third prep and then they took it away and gave me a third second of the same 101 class which means i m back to just two preps again since they are all remote courses and i m an old hat at teaching online at this point it s what i used to do as a part time adjunct before i decided to get my phd i m not fretting too much although i do worry that i ll repeat myself or get lost in the thread and miss telling one of those sections something really important because i ve got pandemic brain as do we all but until then one task at a time the next thing and then the next thing after that that s all we can do that s all any of us can do filed in bloggy goodness comments 2 the definition of insanity monday june 15 2020 the housing market in wisconsin is bonkers right now no seriously it s bonkers we are seeing houses that sold in fall of last year going for 200 what they sold for just 9 months ago we found a house that sold three months ago now back on the market no changes no improvements asking 45 more can you imagine making an investment with a 45 return that is legal and the worst part is that the asking price in a regular real estate market most of the time the asking price is the top price meaning they re starting out with a number that they would love to see it s optimistic however right now the asking price is the opening bid and houses that go on the market on a friday have an announcement that you need to get your best offer in because they ll be making a decision on tuesday and there are no second chances we ve now been outbid on four different houses in rapid succession each one we offered asking price plus closing costs each one had several competing offers and ours was typically the lowest often by more than 10 each time has been an excruciating mental exercise that falls flat on its face the chagrin is that we know this is a real estate bubble we know that it s going to pop so all of those houses are going to be rapidly deflating back to their more usual green bay pricing a friend who works in the industry said that all of his clients corporations were freeing up cash reserves preparing to make a killing when the bottom falls out in the third and fourth quarter another friend s financial advisor told her to rent something for a few months or even house sit until the market flips because it will and it will be legendary all of these realities are intellectual we know there s nothing we can do and we know that as expensive as it is to live in las vegas it is financially smarter than paying even ten grand more for a house than had we waited just a bit longer and the numbers we re crunching it s not just ten grand more like a hundred grand as with all things your bank account rarely shouts louder than your heart knowing we ve been able to gtfo really since april when it became clear that i no longer physically had to be in vegas it hurts it stings it s like a scorpion zap to the brain and of course with the pandemic it s not even like we can enjoy what vegas has to offer there are no seafood towers at bouchon there are no fun ethnic markets to explore there are no weird little desert towns to check out on the weekends there is just the inside of this house and our tiny postage stamp back patio and bit of gravel that subs in for a yard and the worst part everyone wants us to move back to wisconsin this is why you need to move back to wisconsin they say and point out whatever reason that vegas is a human hellscape text messages marco polos 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