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the bingham diaries home about desktop calendars printables a f autumn baby birthday boy bridal christmas disney easter father s day printables g o girl halloween hanukkah independence day memorial day mother s day new years nick jr printables p z st patricks day summertime thanksgiving valentines day winter february 6 2025 february 5 2025 well here we go again i ve really been thinking a lot about the good old days of blogging and decided that it was a big part of my life a big amazing incredible part of my life and i want it back it s just hard when your kids are old enough that they need privacy and space to be their own people and not have their cute fun awkward painful growing up bits plastered online i ve always tried to be really mindful of respecting their privacy when it comes to these things i would die of mortification if my teenage years were shared publicly with who knows who at any rate they re mostly adults now doing adult things like go to college and work full time it s absolutely bananas to realize that two of my kids are older than i was when i got married terribly young before my brain was fully developed and all that i also realize that i never finished my sepsis story and the tl dr version is this i got sepsis it was bad i barely survived and lived in the hospital for 4ish weeks and didn t eat solid food for months and now i m mostly better but have some permanent damage that we ll have to get in to at a later date because i need to say this instead what in the actual fuck it is february 5 2025 and we are living in a dystopian nightmare there are so many things happening so fast it is making my head spin a gross convicted felon managed to bamboozle people into letting him back into office as president of the united states so far he s set the country back a few decades or so and it is actively harming my family i feel like a literal death sentence has been issued for me and my kids and i am so so disappointed in humanity i am embarrassed to be an american right now and i keep hearing feedback that tells me i m taking things too personally i mean on election day and the days immediately after i was physically sick i think because i have worked so closely and deeply in the media specifically within the social media hemisphere that i failed to realize just how many people in my life are digitally illiterate my own family not my progeny but my siblings and cousins and such does not know how to differentiate between legitimate media sources and counterfeit sites they can t spot deep fakes and don t know the tell tale signs of ai generated content it s maddening and painful and it hurts too much to engage my whole life i have studied people and their behaviors closely and i always always always have given many many chances to certain people in my sphere but they have never given me the same grace and i m over it i m done being the bigger person and will proudly be the black sheep i mean it s the role they love to force on me anyways right it s just crazy the world is nuts anyhow i have so many thoughts rambling along in my head and i just need to start getting them out to begin to process just wait until you hear my thoughts about polygamy being viewed only in a binary sense and how actually it would never really work unless you started to view it through the lens of the queer experience it s wild these thoughts i have oh and we moved out of utah and we re a little mad about that we live in arizona now and i m getting my master gardener certifications and edible native permaculture certification and i am also thinking about maybe really diving into restorative agro forestry but it s just a glimmer of a thought right now i can feel that my brain has chilled out so i may be able to go to sleep now this ll be great because i have to get up bright and early for work i am working as a therapist for children with autism at an early intervention clinic it s fun the end didn t you learn so many fun new things about me today posted by caroline c bingham email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest october 20 2022 summer of sepsis part 1 i am stuck in a pain cycle right now and it is killer my meds aren t touching it and i ve tried some alternative meds and nothing it sucks because i can t eat i can t sleep i can t work i mean i m sort of doing those things but not very successfully it s absolutely maddening so of course i m going to hop onto ye olde blog and complain of course i am in other news i guess it s as good a time as any to talk about my summer of sepsis yes that is what i m calling it for the rest of my life because it was a big huge deal and is still affecting my health i have permanent damage to my lungs spleen liver and kidneys it s also why i m currently stuck in a pain cycle life is so super duper fun on to the story on june 15th i was scheduled for a surgical repair of my guts there was about an inch of my esophagus that needed to be removed where it meets the stomach due to prolonged damage from a number of factors i also had some growths in my intestines that needed to be removed the surgery is very safe though intense and required quite a bit of pre op preparations which were followed to the letter however we are talking about me and my tendency to be medically extra did not disappoint the first thing the surgeons noticed was an overabundance of scarring which was essentially locking my organs in place my liver spleen and left lung were the most damaged it was also noted that a previous surgery was done in a manner not commonly practiced anymore again not wrong but not ideal my surgeons cleaned up as much damage as possible made some corrections then continued with their original mission the surgery was successful and i went to recovery where i stayed an extra night due to the complications i was discharged with oxygen orders after an uneventful 48 hours at home on saturday the 18th i started feeling unwell i figured it was due to the typical after surgery care when the good drugs are officially out of your system and you are adjusting to the discomfort of the healing process i was also being monitored remotely via medical devices and apps which i will say right now were a godsend and literally saved my life the app started to ping my surgeon because my pulse rate and blood pressure were wildly varied then i started having difficulty breathing despite being on oxygen saturday was bad but sunday was worse i read through all my patient materials again and again i figured i was having gas pains or maybe i was drinking my water too quickly and swallowing too much air maybe i wasn t drinking enough and was dehydrated i was doing my best to troubleshoot the situation then my left shoulder exploded a sharp sudden pain burst behind my left breast and traveled down my side and across my belly i screamed in pain and fell to my knees i started to cry and it took troy blayne and taylor to get me into bed i took as many pain meds as i could and started eating gas x chewables like they were candy the shoulder explosion began to repeat on loop and sunday night was spent in agony on monday morning i called the surgeon to request more pain meds the nurse i spoke with was kind but firm that no more prescription pain meds would be called in tangent 1 you see in a normal world i 100 agree with the nurse but in a caroline world where a person has an extremely high pain and drug tolerance i do not agree with the nurse i tried to convey my issues but it is hard to talk when you are in pain on drugs and exhausted the phone call ended and i lay in my bed wondering if a trip to the er would be dramatic or not tangent 2 when you have a decades long history of being written off by doctors as dramatic you will for the rest of your life wonder if you are actually feeling what you are feeling as i was lying in bed feeling like death a phone call came in it was another nurse from the surgeon s office she had pulled my monitors and based on the information they wanted me to head to the emergency room since i was having trouble breathing permission was all i needed however i was at home with taylor and blayne my two non driver people and there was no way i could drive myself because i was on oxygen and could barely stand upright with the help of my walker and a person so i called daniel and thaddeus who were both working at mcdonald s and said i need one of you to drive me to the er right now there was a bit of a kerfuffle in the background but soon enough daniel was back at the house and helped me get into the car he raced me to the er and dropped me and taylor off before heading back to work i hobbled into the emergency room bent over in pain and told them i had had surgery at this location five days ago and i can t breathe and my doctor said to come in i must have looked terrible because i was immediately taken back to a room for further examination things started to get a little hazy here because i was placed on a morphine drip labs were drawn and i had a ct scan i must have dozed off a bit because i remember being woken by a nurse who was telling me they were going to take me back for surgery now and i said to him i m so happy there s something wrong and he said yes there is something very very wrong you should have come in sooner and that is the last thing i remember lying in a bed telling a guy i was happy there was something wrong with me with taylor sitting in a chair in the corner of the room wide eyed and scared posted by caroline c bingham email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels summer of sepsis october 4 2022 elder thaddeus bingham june 8 2022 thaddeus is called to serve in the oklahoma oklahoma city mission english speaking june july august 2022 mission preparations are in full force suit fittings temple clothes luggage plus a million other things that you need to do to prepare someone to leave for two years august 21 2022 thaddeus is ordained an elder and receives the melchezidek priesthood august 28 2022 thaddeus has his missionary farewell in layton utah thaddeus receives his temple recommend open house to celebrate thaddeus and wish him luck on his mission august 30 2022 thaddeus receives his endowment in the bountiful utah temple his ellsworth grandparents were able to come to utah and go through the temple with him september 4 2022 thaddeus is in an atv accident has hairline fracture to the clavicle and cracked ribs a c joint separation and pulmonary contusion has to wear a sling and is ordered to take it easy september 11 2022 thaddeus is set apart as a missionary september 12 2022 due to coronavirus protocols the missionary training center experience begins at home september 21 2022 thaddeus enters the provo utah mtc october 4 2022 thaddeus is officially in oklahoma posted by caroline c bingham email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels missionary older posts home subscribe 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