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medical fraternity suggested we do as little bun rapidly approaches her first birthday the searing shock of those first few months is softening while still bloody tough motherhood now feels more like a beautiful new life that i ve moved into rather than an intensive experience i had to survive harsh words probably and i wasn t that vocal about this socially unacceptable negativity until i read this brilliantly written article via the pail girls it hit home so hard it captured the visceral raw shock that i felt at being a new mother when lb was born an old friend and mother of two older children said to me enjoy this snuggly warm time i read that line over and over i didn t feel warm or snuggly what was wrong with me i felt cold with exhaustion i loved my baby girl but in a primal protective way things didn t get snuggly and warm in my head for some time but now nearly 12 months later my life has hit a new rhythm of normal and it is wonderful with the head space that a full nights sleep and other luxuries of an older baby gives you the thought of another baby is once again a happy one maybe not something i m yearning for just yet but definitely one to look forward to we re not trying for number two i may regret these wasted months one day if years go by and little bun remains an only child i m sure i ll look back on this time and wonder i ll ask myself if i should have leapt back onto the conception train as early as i possibly could have hopefully there will be another little bun a littler bun but for the time being the three of us are knitted tightly together enjoying our snuggly warm time posted in 9 to 12 months infertility ivf ivf rest pregnancy after infertility tagged eleven month old baby motherhood secondary infterility make like a swan posted on april 9 2013 by the bunless oven 2 life keeps on keeping on doesn t it when it starts getting easy we humans generally just go and make it hard again guess that s what keeps us living as opposed to just being meaty breathing machines i ve finished my first week as a working mumma it was haa aaard she whines to a world of well duh s it s only a week in and working has already changed the dynamic between mr bun and i there s definitely more tension we re both tired and working hard and it s difficult not to be short with each other but we also have so much more to talk about the relationship feels richer again we re even more of a team now playing the juggling game together and then there s my baby my love my daughter oh my darling i crave her throughout the day i do my grownup thing and wear heels and makeup and joke and berate and negotiate and email and present and through it all my heart sings for my little girl i am missing the little moments throughout the day the pure intimacy of spending every moment together drinking in my girl now i am realising just how fast she is growing because i am catching up instead of being there when it happens but leaving little bun has been easier than i expected mostly because she s used to those caring for her so departures haven t been too traumatic i think this may change as she starts to become used to the new routine leaving work at 5 30 on the dot much much harder than i expected me and my jobshare twin have landed in a typhoon of big projects with short timelines and little support team i am working full bore head down arse up no time for a wee hard sprinting until 5 30 then sprinting home then sprinting through bath bottle bed dishes laundry dinner more work emails teeth face bed start again argh i am going to have to embrace working after lb goes down to bed and for the time being being on phone email on my off days and weekends just to get through this initial few months just to prove to the office and the bosses with wives at home that job sharing is a good thing and mums who leave at 5 30 can still kick arse to prove to the other women in the office that it can be done to prove to myself that i can do both this is it this is the new reality i m going to have to make like a swan and keep smiling up top while paddling like crazy down below posted in 9 to 12 months little bun tagged child care motherhood nanny returning to work with baby working mother working part time working girl posted on march 27 2013 by the bunless oven 3 i m going back to work soon really soon yeesh the australian british approach of a year long maternity leave must mean my reticence seems silly to those of you who went back after six weeks i am so impressed by you women at six weeks post partum i could barely feed myself let alone run a meeting but i ve had a year to wear comfortable shoes and questionable hair now it s time to put on my big girl pants and march back into the workforce i m talking a big game here but the truth is i m only returning part time a friend colleague frolleague of mine and i are entering into the brave world of job sharing which in my industry is about as common as leaving the office at 5 30pm it s safe to say we re flying by the seat of our big girl pants setting the logistics of my new role aside of course what s weighing heaviest on mind is little bun and how this will affect her we have a hideous child care shortage around these parts i have had my name down at three centres since november 2011 do the math and i am still six to twelve months away from getting a spot as january turned into february and my polite stalking of these centres elicited no positive response at all i knew i needed to find an alternative solution and that was a nanny i never imagined we d be the sort of people who d have a nanny i m not sure who those sort of people are but i figured they sailed boats and wore a lot of white but i guess they re normal like us and have certain requirements in certain situations that mean a nanny is the go hopefully this is a short to mid term solution until a spot becomes available and while not the child care route we had planned i suspect it will make for an easier transition back into the working world and me work meetings conversations with multiple adults in which babies aren t referenced at all shaking hands email at 11pm wearing heels sitting down for more than five minutes lunches out i don t know if i m ready oh boy my heart is shuddering at the thought of leaving this beautiful baby bubble i m going to miss my girl every minute but hey this is life right bring it on posted in 9 to 12 months little bun updates tagged child care motherhood nanny returning to work with baby working mother working part time sleeping beauty sleeping beautifully posted on march 20 2013 by the bunless oven 6 yup right now as of this minute my daughter is sleeping through the night by christmas at seven months old i was getting really over waking up anywhere between 1 6am to feed and settle this was on top of the dream feed i was still doing around 11pm it was like i d run out of juice where i d previously been bouncing through the day on five hours of broken sleep suddenly i was mainlining sugar just to get through the day i started by trying to drop the dream feed a few times but failed dismally she wouldn t have a bar of it we ended up losing it with the unorthodox approach of flying 12 000 miles i know not that easily done but i d recommend it the jetlag from a long haul flight knocked lb s dream feed out the window right one down on arriving home in january we embarked on a month of upheaval house moving and portacots i just didn t feel right cutting out her overnight feed while there was so much else going on especially considering we d also just been overseas for a month i wanted to allow lb plenty of time to settle back into her own cot and her own routine february became the month and randomly as she woke up early for her overnight feed at midnight one friday that became the night being a beautifully stubborn little thing i was fully prepared for my daughter to give me hell for weeks once i turned off the overnight tap the first night she grizzled and cried for an hour with mr bun going in every 10 20 minutes to settle her she then slept through until 5am stirred and slept again until 7 i of course woke at 4am and stared at the monitor wondering when she d wake the next night i went to bed almost hoping she d wake up so we could continue bedding down the new approach but she slept from 7pm until 7am waking at 5am and putting herself back to sleep this kid never resettles herself not when she wakes up after midnight i was so confused there was one night about a week later when she woke at 3am i spent almost two hours going in and out of her room settling and soothing as she grizzled until she fell asleep again and that was almost two months ago since then i pop her down into bed and she smiles and laughs as i tuck her in she ll chat away to herself for a while before falling asleep she ll then stir a few times throughout the night and early hours but settles again until waking up around 7am forgive me if i m sound boastful here but it is bloody amazing i believe in sleep training and i was fully prepared to commit to it as long as it took but it didn t really take long no it didn t really take at all you see she was ready she was probably as desperate as i was to get more sleep but just didn t know how to go about it all she needed was a little bit of encouragement the amazing thing is she s sleeping more deeply at night i can now pop my head in and check on her when i go to bed whereas before that would definitely wake her up and she d be hollering until i fed her and wait for it she s napping better during the day since she was eight weeks old my baby hasn t napped for longer than 40 minutes it has absolutely been the hardest thing i ve had to manage hands down to have her roll out a few one or even 1 5 hour sleeps in a week is amazing for me i am aware this will change there will be teeth colds developmental leaps slumber parties and bad breakups with boyfriends but this mama is getting some sleep for the first time since les bump was small enough to let me sleep through and that is a bloody great thing posted in 9 to 12 months happy little bun sleep tagged sleep training sleeping through the night sttn ten month old baby sleeping boozy tuesday posted on march 12 2013 by the bunless oven 1 i want to broach this topic because it s been front of mind with me recently and also i m interested to hear your thoughts on the matter booze namely drinking it i started to wean little bun a few weeks back and she began sleeping through the night a little after that with her being bottle fed and in bed 7 til 7 my intake of alcohol has increased i ve gone from zero glasses a week to well we re not talking bottles a night but two maybe three glasses of wine every night i m being honest here it doesn t seem right prior to falling pregnant and when i wasn t on a sober ivf kick i d have 3 4 alcohol free days afd s a week i d probably get squiffy once every couple of weeks in between nights were a couple of glasses on the couch with mr bun now my intake seems ridiculously higher than then there have certainly been no big nights i have a feeling a hangover with a baby would be a new sort of hell but my regular run of the mill weeknight booze intake is definitely on the up you see i m not working yet so what used to be my afd s sun wed now just sorta blur into the rest of the week i don t have a boring monday or a celebratory friday or a partytime saturday i just have nights after days of looking after a baby it also seems like mr bun and i are celebrating quietly every night after nine months of hard slog plus another nine of my pregnancy things are starting to return to normal again we have our evenings back and we re enjoying getting to know each other again hanging out over a meal enjoying an amazing drop has become part of that am i making excuses mr bun and i are both aware that we need to get back on the afd train and stat beyond anything else i can t handle the extra calorie intake now i ve stopped breastfeeding and started eating a normal diet again i have a feeling that once this long hot summer finally turns into autumn and i begin work again that normal operating procedure will start up in the meantime i ll continue enjoying my glass of vino with a sprinkle of guilt on the side posted in 9 to 12 months advice diet tagged alcohol alcohol and breastfeeding alcohol and parenting letting go posted on march 9 2013 by the bunless oven 2 as so many of you were supremely helpful answering my pleas and whines i thought i d drop a little update on how little bun and i are going on the milk front three months ago i was feeling pretty overwhelmed at the triple whammy that i was dealt her allergies my own milk s problem with freezing and her not taking formula well we re through it and almost out the other side once we d settled back home after hotfootting it around the globe and back i started lb on a bottle of her stinky formula here and there luckily she s a guts and her appetite s only getting bigger so she seemed happier and happier to take the bottle then with my back to work date looming i started to slowly wean her just as they recommend in the books i replaced a feed a week beginning with her least favourite and she was fine absolutely fine it took her a while to pick up her quantities but i knew that she was getting plenty of milk from me and puh lenty of food and water as well my girl likes to eat the slow approach was also kind to my boobs and i haven t had any troubles with engorgement or pain she was crook last week so i delayed dropping the final feed the one first thing in the morning but i think that was more for me than her you see i ve been sad to wean her as lovely as its been to have more than a three hour window in which to get out and do things on my own i miss feeding her what was such a close warm organic thing is now a different not bad experience nice cuddle plastic teat gulp and burp done but the admin i really applaud those women who have been managing bottles for months and months the washing sterilising transporting buying of formula it s just another thing to fit into your brain when it s already fit to burst i m so grateful for the boob support i received both online and in real life all the way back to those first few weeks when i couldn t breastfeed at all now that it s time for us to move on i do feel some sense of sadness my baby is growing up but what we ll miss in that i m sure we ll discover something new elsewhere posted in 9 to 12 months breastfeeding little bun tagged aptamil pepti junior gold breastfeeding breastfeeding and dairy breastfeeding problems weaning weaning breast to bottle 20 bunless questions posted on march 5 2013 by the bunless oven 7 so life s gotten in the way of blogging in a big way lately i m not going to go into it but it s been a crackingly busy boring delightful frustrating wondrous tedious brilliant crazy summer here in the bunless household when i saw the 20 que...