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Text of the page (random words):
for the life of me i can t remember the name i had originally picked out for him the use of his name wasn t meant to be he was meant to be nothing and so he is this is a decidedly different story one that is more telling than anything else at least until the end it also came about because of a scar on the palm of my left hand put there by a nail over twenty years ago nothing like a hammer a nail and a rotten piece of wood before you go any further if you have not already done so let me encourage you to read the story at the exquisite death website here don t worry you can click on the link and it will open the page in another window also the scarring is short so it won t take that long to read okay did you read it i hope so that will make the rest of this make sense seeing how i only really mentioned the name of he main character in my notes it s easy to see how some would think this story is solely about revenge however it isn t this story is really more symbolism than revenge it s about how we let the traumas of our past dictate our lives those traumas are like scars left behind either physically mentally or emotionally or all three we can do one of two things with these events learn from them or dwell on them if we learn from them we can move beyond them if we dwell on them as nothing does in the story then there is no moving on we can t be better so to speak to further illustrate my point i ve been cheated on twice both before i got married the first time i actually caught my girlfriend in the act i didn t explode or get mad like i thought i might if that ever happened i just said oh hey wait don t stop y all keep doing what you re doing i know my way out literally that s what i said i got over it pretty quickly i mean if she didn t want me then i didn t want her this was a case of not letting the trauma control me or dictate my actions the second time was a little more difficult my then girlfriend broke up with me in april of that year she never told me why just it s over i had the hardest time dealing with that give me something did i do something wrong i wracked my brain for months trying to figure it out turns out i was wrong i did nothing wrong i found out in july that she had been having an affair and had wait for it gotten pregnant that one that one made me angry you see not only was she cheating her roommate knew about it and covered for her at that point i was like f k it i can t trust women for about three years after that i wouldn t give women the time of day for those three years i let the two women who cheated on me and the one who hid the truth from me dictate my actions i dwelled on it i let the scars left behind by those women determine what i did when it came to other women that was the wrong way to handle it i bottled it up didn t talk about it and it absolutely ate me up that is until my wife became the stars in my eyes mind and heart let s look at the scarring now and yes there are spoilers here so it s your last chance to scroll up hit that link and read the story before continuing on nothing is asked if he loves no he hates he does so because of how he was raised how he was hurt how he was scarred the circumstances of his childhood were horrific and that s putting it lightly so nothing hates until lena becomes the stars of his eyes mind and eventually heart unfortunately for nothing to get beyond hate he had to address the root of that hate and that was his father he does so violently and with lena s somewhat unwilling involvement at the end he asked do you love one final time he says yes everything that had ever hurt him was no longer a part of his life and he no longer hid his scars before anyone yells at me saying i m encouraging violence to solve problems no no i m not again the story is very much symbolic of moving forward after trauma or letting trauma dictate what you do with your life in nothing s case the root of his trauma and his hate was his father and his scars mental physical and emotional had never been dealt with which is why he was the way he was it was never about revenge it was always about letting go the first instance of letting go is letting lena see the scars that was the beginning of dealing with it unfortunately once he began nothing could only let go in one way a violent rage the reason it ended the way it ended was nothing suppressed every pain he ever had until he had to address it by then he saw only one way to do that in reality that was the wrong way the moral of the story is simple don t let trauma in your life get to the point of where the only thing you can do about it is do something drastic either to yourself or someone else address trauma head on seek help see a therapist but don t suppress it to the point of boiling over and exploding that never ends well thank you for coming along for this deep dive i hope you enjoyed it if you don t mind please drop a like and leave a comment i would love to hear your thoughts until we meet again my friends be kind to one another a j share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email tweet share on reddit opens in new window reddit more like loading posted on october 8 2024 by ajbrown 2 comments a conversation with lindsey goddard in the many years i have been in this business i have met a lot of writers many of them have passed out of my life through time it s the nature of things some of them have become like family again the nature of things some of them have left horrible impressions and i have helped them exit my life yes it s them not me then there s people like lindsey goddard lindsey and i go way back to the early days of me seeking publication we connected through social media became internet friends we ve both worked with publishers and have had our hands in quite a number of projects lindsey has published a few of my stories in various places like in the anthology quixotic not every day love stories the story was sunday a non traditional vampire love story then there was the piece release a story no one would touch because of subject matter she took it for the publication the monsters next door which is an appropriate title given the subject matter of the story here recently she took my short story i m a hobo she s a vampire for her podcast on the weird wide web with all that said let s have a sit down with lindsey goddard who lindsey goddard what writing the weird wide web podcast life why i want to why else a j good morning lindsey i hope you are doing well lg good morning a j i am i have fresh coffee a j let s jump right in here will you tell the world who lindsey goddard is lg an author with roots in horror fiction who likes to sneak into other genres and darken them up as well haha i make gothic arts and crafts and the home décor in my house reflects as much i enjoy blogging and connecting with other creatives i m currently working on my first true crime book about murder in my home state of missouri a j you ve been writing a long time probably longer than i have what got you started in writing lg i won a mother s day poetry contest in first grade they framed my poem and gave me a dozen roses for my mom it was the proudest moment of my young life the next time i felt that rush was when i sold a short story to an indie zine at the age of fifteen it s a feeling of gratification unlike any other i ve put writing aside many times in my life as my circumstances change but i always find my way back a j i think as writers and really any artists we leave but we re always drawn back the obsession is real you like the darker things in literature what is it about horror that appeals to you lg horror is real it s all around us threatening to affect our comfortable daily lives watching the news has always given me a helpless sinking feeling but when i write horror i take back my control i can decide the outcome much safer to be the author than the character i think a j i agree with you there i don t want to be the victim of someone else s horror story let s change gears and talk about the weird wide web what led to you creating this lg i purchased the domain at weirdwideweb org in early 2020 but it took a while for the project to find its true purpose seems like everything stopped in 2020 doesn t it and the world is just now waking up again the pot of crazy stew that is weird wide web simmered on the back burner for a while and it got better in the process my original plan was to blog and podcast but now there are writing contests and much more fun to come a j you do interviews and narrate stories on the podcast first how do you go about choosing the people you want to interview second you do all the narration on the stories including sound effects how much goes into putting together the stories before they air lg although authors and artists are portrayed as impatient madmen in cinema the truth is they have an endearing resilience this compulsion to connect with other people and get their work into the world so i never have to seek out my interviewees they always find me i am discovering as the podcast grows that it s pretty darn labor intensive but with only two episodes a month i ll survive i think a j do you have as much fun with the podcast as it sounds like you do i m having so much fun i m going to change my middle name to fun lindsey fun goddard that s me that s how freaking fun this podcast is find out more at weirdwideweb org podcast a j for the weird wide web what types of stories do you look for both for your contests and for the podcast lg it s funny because to read the four winning contest entries we ended up with last contest a person might assume i was looking for horror i wasn t neither was mitzy carter my fellow submissions reader we ended up with a top 15 stories toward the end of judging the 157 entries a couple were sci fi a few were dark fantasy some satire or speculative fiction that cannot be boxed into a genre but in the end we chose the stories that packed the most punch stories that were not only well written but made us go wow that was clever and as far as the podcast i tell you it just fell into harmony with the universe the right stories have landed in my lap at the right times hippie voice the podcast is meant to be man a j being longtime internet friends i ve watched you chase publishing as much as i have taper off then chase it again recently i ve noticed you enjoy submitting stories to various podcast why is this lg wow what a great question because i ve never thought about the true reason for this until now podcasts and audiobooks saved my life there was a point in my life where i was under so much stress that i couldn t focus on books i would read the same sentence ten times before absorbing it my brain just wasn t having it but i did not want to live without fiction in fact i cannot live without fiction so i turned to podcasts and audiobooks during this time i began to really love podcasts some made me feel like i was tuning in to an old dramatic radio broadcast in the 1940s and just getting lost in the story a j has this become somewhat of an addiction lg you tell me i had a story on creepy podcast recently and in the coming months i ll have stories on chilling tales for dark nights nocturnal transmissions the morbid forest and wilhelm s frightening tales with submissions pending at even more podcasts haha a j oh wow that s a lot of places congratulations on those now the next question is always one of those tougher questions to answer but if you could give yourself any advice and it doesn t matter what it is about it what would that be lg i would tell my younger self that i was worth more than the buzz inside the bottle when the world broke me and i turned to alcohol it only made it harder to piece myself back together a j that s some seriously good advice there so many people could use that these days one last thing lindsey where can the weird wide world find you lg well if you re into visiting websites that never get updated i have great news here s mine http www lindseybethgoddard com also i just released an expanded version of my 2016 novella ashes of another life with never before published content such as bonus material in the middle an epilogue and a prologue the old version had 18 ratings on amazon and sadly the new book hasn t received any so far if anyone would be so kind as to hop over there read and review it would mean the world to me here s the link https www amazon com dp b0dcxhpzby a j thank you for your time lindsey i wish you well with the weird wide web and your publishing endeavors have a great day and chase those dreams lg thank you a j i feel lucky to have stayed acquainted with you this long you have remained on my social media despite me losing my mind a few times haha much appreciated i look forward to our next project together a j before i go i want to say thank you for stopping by hit that like button at the end here and leave a comment if you don t mind also check out lindsey through social media and her website and give the weird wide web a look every set of eyes on a writer s pages every like every comment are motivators for artists of any type until we meet again my friends be kind to one another a j share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email tweet share on reddit opens in new window reddit more like loading posted on october 6 2024 by ajbrown 2 comments climbing the wall 10 06 2024 a couple years ago i hit a wall not literally but definitely figuratively the wall was tall and thick and made of all sorts of things the biggest of those being heavy bricks called doubt the mortar between those bricks was called discouragement i tried climbing the wall but fell several times man bruised ego bruised confidence and just bruises happen when you fall from a wall you thought you could climb me and humpty dumpty were scrambled at the same time for a while i quit climbing the wall it wasn t worth it then one day i found myself standing at the wall again i looked at it man it was so high up i couldn t see the top looking at it was even more discouraging i thought about climbing it again but the effort really wasn t there i ended up slinking away leaving all my climbing gear at the base of that wall at the beginning of the year i stood back at the wall i looked at it hard again it looked so tall and so daunting and i thought this just isn t going to work i walked away from it again but this time i found myself not getting far enough from the wall so i couldn t see it every day i saw that wall of doubt and discouragement instead of shutting my window and pulling the curtains i did something i hadn t done in years i submitted a story somewhere granted it was a submission that was by invitation but it was still a submission it got accepted hmm then i sent something to a contest and it didn t get accepted still the rejection letter was nice enough then i signed on with memento mori ink to write a piece for them the wall suddenly...