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Text of the page (random words):
ntion a hidden camera pub sounds blossom the blossoms our friends then he made a fold in the timeline of the poem dreams of getting back into paper planes there are cows across the river one the colour of a hippo with a vengeance true suffering 10 sunday mar 2019 posted by derek motion in uncategorized leave a comment you can t ponder something poetically at length said beth under her breath when that something can be googled in seconds for my smile i attack her with a chance gust blowing apart the venetians a chance shaft of sun one might ponder how this line of sunlight emphasises just how close we ve grown but also that it s probably way past 5pm o beth i had your eye your aura then for barely a second before the thing about the keys but i swear there was a big fat dust mote eclipse orange blazing between us you had to have noticed not ever 17 wednesday oct 2018 posted by derek motion in uncategorized leave a comment i made a new thing it is music you can hear some rain on the recording the clip samples the 1921 aus film silks saddles dynamics 11 monday jun 2018 posted by derek motion in blogging not poetry nothing nothing poetry poem poet poetry post uncategorized leave a comment i prefer roads to airports always will let s not playact we re explorers grizzled under an ornate moustache or two ounces of petticoats never abandoning our coats in a bar never losing sight of the objective when is the moment of discovery huddling in the rain it s a more contemporary sign of romance ho hum i wrote this but also danger i thought that like knitting narratives under a tap thought plashing my faux corduroy nylon jacket was just a projection backdrop reinforcing leftist beliefs as if politics is a possum glimpsed with autoflash eyes or a phase of the moon to pass through on this day pls imagine things pictorially for me a sleepy powerpoint will do somehow graph idea action privilege thanks there is no need for emotional labour beside your yellow purple fabrics see constructing poignancy is hot but also danger really whether running through that world of rain or perched on a walking mangrove foot two thousand seventeen was unpublishable anyway a tree cannot walk what does go mean putting lyrics to music one evening as above you decide erasure is a the key failure to avoid but then once i reviewed gigs in poems that too was foolish exploratory the planet can still smell of my cologne 20 hrs later a playful elbow or two later a mutter about the swell of bass later the muted harp later those sequins like i said wrote this year we sit on tree roots before we crest new decades with your hair soft ringletting the persistent raindrops white feathered leaf dodgers persist rats make the drain cover call yep i m sloppy with clichés cartoons this is a bouncy sobriety i ll write more on the plane home i write this but also don t label make i thought this like last time but resisted writing revealing we ll see hey mate filmings 10 thursday may 2018 posted by derek motion in uncategorized leave a comment stars 06 sunday may 2018 posted by derek motion in uncategorized leave a comment urban camper circa 2018 06 tuesday feb 2018 posted by derek motion in not poetry nothing nothing poetry poem poet poetry uncategorized leave a comment twirl a parasol while searching on dusky how it applies to eyes specifically while away time picturing a quiet look while we talked afterwards disabused of all fucked up self talk under the fan the noise why fib i wasn t searching all day edit that out but we are always trying things for the first time together it s a mirror view of broken hills underwater like my drive home coming off meds a fevery dizziness when i swivel my neck at an emu moved slightly to tears by a taxi etc how to distinguish boundaries either a raised threshold for dizziness or tears scared tho you swallow two tablets before even patting the cat muse every album is just working through a relationship the dots of socio political imagery just icing or dots each song a way to celebrate a being ok with you as you mostly hopeful mostly lies the attempt is uplifting nevertheless so delicious a recipe we were baking after a long time of not baking a cheesecake style slice that bubbled then settled into a solid apex this is why frameworks creep in as underthought convenient as a distance in time two days ago or perhaps maybe not this should be revisited for better irrigation of emotional landscapes wrote irrigating your emotional landscapes since the 1980s slogans for my latest joke business venture my only reliable party discourse i fall backwards so often a straw that is also a pen a consultancy firm that articulates the solution you already know you want suggests a rebranding to the colour red evermore but we re too busy for realism re thread the threads while reclining in a puff of smoke static websites will make a comeback man every email list is a celebration of the drumming in mayonnaise look the keyboard player died it s a leap but oscillate with me to dumbledore in the new adaptation of little women for a brief while local tribes fought white settlers but they were always back for the watered country i find my obnoxious approach to people still unhealed um counterpoint everyone is a purist for the original anne of green gables that diffuse orange light a mosquito net of protection from the contemporary if only mosquitoes were individual doubts about my individuality emma watson emily watson should work together on a film project is that the toxic coating on my skin talking regardless beth is still about to die twirl a parasol while away time picturing a quiet look under the fan the noise please read 12 friday jan 2018 posted by derek motion in uncategorized leave a comment for me the one constant of personal public writing is a feeling of regret looking back over written versions of the past with regret it s my own perspective i question my own thoughts my own way of analysing myself and events sometimes intentions become more troublingly clear after time sometimes it s all too clear that my thinking was totally self centred i think i have held back with this piece of writing because of that fear maybe 5 months too long i didn t want to write it wrong but the regret it always happens and here it kind of has to my intention in this writing i m still not exactly sure but it s necessary part of a process it is far too easy to go on with your life not thinking about things court distance avoid contemplation and just wait it out i ve done it before too much arguments instances of severe social embarrassment more drawn out failed romances it s not positive though nothing much changes in the underlying behaviours so last year i harassed a group of women after a literary event i can t describe it in the exact detail i d like to because for me it was a black out drunk period this isn t offered as an excuse it s just the truth of what happened a complaint was made and the verbal retelling i was given confirms that the evening involved inappropriate verbal and physical behaviour on my behalf towards the women being asked to leave the venue by the proprietor continuing with some harassing messages via social media after that all of these things happened and i don t dispute any of it i work in the arts both as a writer and as an administrator where the socialising often is your workplace it s not a 9 to 5 job the women involved where also artists writers after talks with my supervisors i took some enforced leave from work began regular psychological counselling as well as drug and alcohol treatment this is ongoing i was also offered the chance to withdraw from a literary event to not cause further problems i know i m lucky that these options were given to me but then really i m lucky that my behaviour was reported in the first place because i honestly would still have no idea of the severity otherwise i would have written off the evening as a mistake of way too much booze mixed with medication and continued on my way letting it fade instead i m able to take the opportunity to attempt to be better the work isn t done yet but i hope it s progressing writing speaking is a part of that communication after the incident in question was handled by a higher up member of staff exclusively i haven t approached the women in question personally to make an apology and at this point i am still unsure about doing that i don t know whether or not seeking contact would cause more trouble but i do want these words to exist here should they ever seek them i am sorry i didn t treat you like people at all not in the way i believe women should be treated i want to own that i m unreservedly sorry for the pain caused to you i m also particularly sorry that i did this in the context of the literary social community i have always valued the way the community of writers in this country has been incredibly open and supportive to me both online and in person for many years and this is the way it should be noone should have to fear the inappropriate attentions or actions within that space although this is the first i have written about it other than talking online about the new challenges of sobriety i want to make it clear that my response has not only been to seek help for myself but also to tell every person in my life the reasons why and to talk openly of what has happened i am by no means suddenly fixed i don t think i ve displayed a pattern of harassing behaviour over the years but at the same time i recognise black out periods have been increasingly common for me particularly over the period 2015 2017 and i cannot rule out other instances of inappropriate behaviour i know the way i ve used messaging and social media has been questionable sliding into the direct messages of people i don t know or barely know has been common for me while it has sometimes been a positive thing i know at times i ve done it in a problematic way also and have to change this online communication is a very real space and one where women and people in general deserve to be treated respectfully if anyone is reading this and want to talk directly to me about anything further please do get in touch i do want to read more accounts i hope non famous men men perhaps in small regional communities like mine are now speaking and acknowledging their wrongs and complicity we don t have to be publicly named to do this in fact the thing is you probably won t be and then yes there will be consequences to speaking you might lose work opportunities or people once close to you might remove themselves distancing yourself from shitty behaviour with time though it may make the memory fade but that s all it needs thinking about openly needs discussing particularly now and i ve still got a lot more of that to do quiet 26 thursday oct 2017 posted by derek motion in uncategorized leave a comment on stage she is a far superior version of her own shadow on stage the plummet of fringe it s front lit like navel oranges suffuse in a past 11am winter the friday after we discretely fought off sleep in our nebulous gritty locations perambulating sleet will urge the city upon you every time smudging memory to actively possess i was lost in a half grown hedge maze it s called the country in periodicals you re a real person under an identical rupturing sky a warship on the bay while the tourists finger the opera house silliest acoustics in the cosmos peer reviewed literally you are you tho i wrote i am me with a flourish ha it etches exclamation across that council hanging shrub trimmer s life he works his way up an infinite street misted soaked today it is thursday i won t even buy wine for pasta sauce now too afraid of falling over destroying the remainder see instead you cajole half bottles from guests scribble out a list titled tactics the fridge is my gallery space but we ll go deep into the details later past the canopy microcosm the vines of friends of friends foggy peculiarities hard to parse or fuck it though am i right i m newly aware of flight i m leaving the city as vibrant lit as i found it i am myself or the world these are the same things your voice is steady always haunt in the best way you have to dull the spirits of art school kids fetch warmth quiet to an antechamber in the best way you are warming into the fingerpicking all things make me happy like the neck marks yours this time veiled blearily not hungover in the wrong terminal never again every atmosphere like a set pose poem as situational comedy poem with its back to the limousine our designated roles for the next epoch flagged when your closest friend is the voice of your map mechanical reliably one beat too slow when you are nothing to former lovers you vainly blast your cortex ghettos when you explore misted amazon cafes with a broken public piano in each when you tap on for experience hold up buildings in your palm like an illusion or kissing in semiquavers then i m a nap expert a performance space connoisseur a belligerent fuckwit just part of the problem the chamber is lighted applause forgotten you can view me telling myself that i m recognising stuff not virtue signalling still sick that people see the reality of me while emending any last conclusive statement pondering a grace note days 30 saturday sep 2017 posted by derek motion in uncategorized leave a comment a first kiss after two months slow slightly past midnight but it s never the visuals of kissing that are described unless it s the preceding moments of lips parting perhaps an estimate of moisture unconnected i ve woken with a sore shoulder the hurt only reminding me at odd moments say a left handed reach into that low laundry cupboard to retrieve fabric softener such pangs surprise me remind me that muscles exist keep functioning mostly unnoticed it s up to me to present things as if they are connected there s been a history of people saying yes to things in my life and maybe every life generally it s a professional serendipity an email invite arrives at the right time mid point in the recipient s hopefully life affirming yes period i ll arrive in my own period thinking it was over for a time i ll say yes to a series of things that provoke an initial small jolt of worry because challenges are good right at least during a period of deciding this is so a poetry reading coffee with a girl getting my face painted whether adding et cetera implies a list too long to manage or experiential failure i ll revel in being a human of action carefully edit the images to reflect a narrative i ve noticed a different clarity to the living room have tried to pinpoint the elements that inform it it s just one more thing in a life narrative full of pinhole cameras lighting up faces with a new torch on a scout camp the choice of reading lamps in the bedrooms of people i care for nevertheless the waxing spring light the breeze that s closer to body temperature on dark the exactness of the wooden floor after ...