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Text of the page (random words):
versebender light verse more versebender light verse more home about welcome april 4 2012 versebender 2 comments if you have visited before welcome back if this is your first visit click on my top ten to get a representative sample of the blog i hope you like what you see vb p s if you are really feeling charitable checkout versebender in the amazon kindle store categories about rhyming tags funny poems funny poetry funny verse humor humorous poems humorous poetry humorous verse light verse the mummy s curse february 21 2016 versebender leave a comment of all the frights i ve had in life there s none unnerved me worse than that dreadful night of terror that i heard the mummy s curse while in the pharaoh s pyramid with only candlelight i happened on an ancient scroll wrapped in a bundle tight then i read with trepidation its hieroglyphic verse beware o foul defiler now you ll hear the mummy s curse then from a stone sarcophagus against a darkened wall emerged a fearsome mummy who stood immensely tall wrapped head to toe in linen hate blazing from its eyes it stalked me like a tiger as i whimpered wretched cries it backed me to a corner then things went from bad to worse as to my utter horror i heard the mummy curse you mother bleeping robber you thieving sack of bleep how dare disturb my pharaoh in his everlasting sleep be gone you bleeping infidel and mark my words with dread if you show your worthless bleep again and i ll crush you bleeping head then to its stone sarcophagus it shuffled in reverse no i ll not soon forget the night i heard the mummy curse categories humor uncategorized tags funny funny poems funny poetry funny verse humor humorous poems humorous poetry humorous verse light verse rhymes rhyming verse wordplay pinafores march 18 2014 versebender 3 comments twixt pinafores and semaphores and petit fours and such there s often some confusion but i wouldn t worry much for here s a way to keep them all quite tidy in your mind and if you ll just recite this verse no problems you will find a pinafore s an apron and a semaphore s a sign a petit four s a pastry of much intricate design so when you re finished baking treats aboard your trusty boat you run your apron up the mast to signal all afloat then the pinafore s a semaphore the petit fours are here which makes this rhyme a poor attempt at metaphor i fear categories my rhymes tags funny poems funny verse humor humorous verse light verse rhymes raven redux october 30 2012 versebender 43 comments recycled for halloween 2012 one of my all time favorite poems is poe s the raven but let s face it at 1086 words it is way too long in today s frenetic world who has the time to read such things so in the interest of making it more accessible to the schedule impaired and with all due respect to the original i have undertaken a slight edit here is my 68 word version of the classic lonely dude about to snore hears a knock upon his door what is there a talking bird all it knows is one damn word conversation is a bore all it says is nevermore asks about his long lost flame lenore the lovely lady s name bird provides no help at all nevermore it s single call lonely dude goes raving mad bird just sits there bird is bad linked to one shot wednesday categories my rhymes my top ten plotsicles random thoughts tags funny poems funny poetry funny verse humor humorous poems humorous verse light verse rhymes the mermaid bride may 6 2012 versebender 15 comments this poem is in response to the mag image below this got me thinking about a river flowing to the ocean and the following salty tale ensued well i sits on the beach just a watchin the tide and mourns o er the loss o my sweet mermaid bride on the schooner allegro o nantucket mass i first laid me eyes on that fair flippered lass i was standin me watch in the dead o the night when she rose from the sea with a phosphoric light twas a vision in beauty a sailor s true wish the north of her woman the south of her fish her hair was of seaweed and it bobbed to n fro as her scales softly shone in the moon s silver glow with songs of a siren to her pearl covered bed she wooed me seduced me and then we was wed we was married by neptune the seafarer s god me groomsmen was mack rel the bridesmaids was cod then its two years n twenty of marital bliss at least so s i thought til she hits me with this i m leavin says she with a dolphin named dan ain t i don t love you he s just more of a man he s slicker n thicker and slow where you re quicker a flick of his fluke and my flame s all a flicker then with nary a wave and just barely a splash she swam to her beau and was gone in a flash now i sits on the beach just a watchin the tide and mourns o er the loss o my sweet mermaid bride categories my rhymes tags funny verse humorous poems humorous poetry humorous verse light verse magpie tales just add water april 29 2012 versebender 12 comments this post is linked to the mag prompt 115 which is the image above she bought him in a pet shop for a dollar and a quarter the lady at the counter said it says here just add water then fertilize and nurture him and grow your perfect man but it comes with this disclaimer most aren t worth a damn categories my rhymes tags funny poetry funny verse humor humorous humorous poems humorous poetry humorous verse light verse magpie tales i think she may have had enough april 25 2012 versebender 5 comments what do you think absence makes the heart grow fonder time i got real fond of you pack a bag and call a lawyer mister you and i are through spent my last night doing dishes picking up your dirty clothes while you sprawl upon the sofa watching tv tween your toes no more scrubbing round the toilet courtesy your dreadful aim no more listening to your snoring isn t that a crying shame i won t miss your meddling momma uninvited butting in i won t miss your awful poppa or his nasty leering grin think i ll miss your sweet romancing sugar no i won t a lick thirty seconds worth of effort very rarely does the trick as i tally vice and virtue darlin it has come to this when it gets right down to basics there ain t much i m gonna miss linked to dverse poets pub categories uncategorized tags funny poetry funny verse humorous poems humorous poetry humorous verse light verse relationships performance anxiety april 22 2012 versebender 19 comments this post is linked to the mag prompt 114 which is the image above what joy at last an honorarium to read my verse at the aquarium what angst what pain my poems stank the performance ended in the tank categories my rhymes tags funny poems funny poetry funny verse humor humorous humorous poems humorous verse light verse magpie tales rhymes simplicity april 15 2012 versebender 14 comments this poem is in response to the mag s prompt 113 which is the chagall image above said the painter to the poet there s something to be said for all the palette colors but you can t go wrong with red said the poet to the painter your advice is very sage i find it is the humble words that better suit the page categories about rhyming tags light verse magpie tales eggsistentialism april 9 2012 versebender 13 comments this post is linked to the mag prompt 112 which is the image above existential image floating eggshell girl drifting cross the desert clouds a gothic whirl meaning is elusive imagery s obscure artist has a message what i can t be sure categories my rhymes uncategorized tags funny poems funny poetry funny verse humor humorous humorous poems humorous poetry humorous verse light verse the mag i m thinking of starting a diet april 6 2012 versebender 3 comments i m thinking of starting a diet in fact i might start it today the goal of my diet is simple to make fifty pounds go away my shirt creeps up over my belly my pants are two inches too tight i m a pastry away from exploding good gosh i m a horrible sight i can t see my toes when i m standing my belt buckle points at the floor i suck in my gut and turn sideways to maneuver my butt through a door oh once i was young and athletic and once i was nimble and lean but i said super size it too often i think y all know what i mean they say diet is all about willpower and not for the lazy or meek i m thinking of starting a diet well maybe i ll start it next week linked to the purple tree house and poets united categories my rhymes tags funny poems funny verse humorous poems humorous verse light verse older entries rss feed google youdao xian guo zhua xia my yahoo newsgator bloglines inezha check out versebender in amazon kindle store categories about rhyming 9 humor 1 limericks 3 my rhymes 38 my top ten 10 plotsicles 4 random thoughts 2 real rhymers rhymes 4 uncategorized 5 top posts pages the mummy s curse pinafores raven redux the mermaid bride just add water i think she may have had enough performance anxiety simplicity eggsistentialism i m thinking of starting a diet email subscription enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address sign me up join 11 other subscribers top blog at wordpress com versebender create a free website or blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed versebender sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy versebender subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar loading comments write a comment email required name required website design a site like this with wordpress com get started