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camouflage mga pasa sa aking utak camouflage mga pasa sa aking utak time posted in uncategorized on april 27 2016 by y visual art salvador dali van gogh orange tulip origami tea lights helium balloons books music playlist white t shirts science and technology medicine and engineering structures architecture sociology and anthropology documentaries hiking mountain climbing running healthy living happy thoughts guitar washed denim jeans travels crossing busy streets gastronome peeled shrimps soy milk church family i wrote the paragraph above about over half a year ago when i was still in deep sadness because of our breakup boy it seems like it was only yesterday we ve been separated for over 2 yrs now and though i still love you it is love in the context of wanting you to have the best that life can offer with or without me i think i ve come to terms with the fact that we really have our own lives now i still want to know where life has taken you and i certainly have the means to find that out but i won t not because i don t care anymore but because i think it is better for us to just keep things this way you have your own life now and you have probably moved on the last thing i want to do is to interject in what it is that you have tried to build from when i left i hope you have forgiven me i miss you i love you always leave a comment pain posted in uncategorized on october 17 2015 by y you know what i don t like these days i don t like the fact that i could not move on from you i just can t every single time i try to live a normal day there s always a memory of you that keeps knocking on my head it could be something good or bad i can t look at anybody w the same intensity as i did to you i feel like no one s ever in the same level as you or even close to this is how much you affect me this is how much i think of you and sometimes i don t like it because it is painful i miss and love you always leave a comment cry me a river posted in uncategorized on september 15 2015 by y yes my love i still cry so much about you something today reminded me of the pain i ve caused you and next thing i know my tears were just flowing nonstop i miss you terribly i love you always leave a comment minions posted in uncategorized on august 16 2015 by y my love i ve been trying to stalk you haha i miss you so much you know that s why please don t be mad i know you re doing the same exact thing maybe so i saw your comment about 15 signs of negative people and surrounding yourself with positive vibes and it felt like it was meant for me was i that negative of a person to you what was it too much drama too depressing too many petty issues overwhelming shortcomings was i really that kind of person to you i really hope that by now your anger have at least subsided a little bit the thought of it is very sickening still especially for the fact that you have every reason to be angry at me and i couldn t argue on that but even then it makes my heart happy knowing that you are probably at least getting by not too sure if you re okay and i can only pray for it but at least you didn t kill yourself as what you told me during our last conversations before i walked out of your life the thought of you being alive is more than enough to keep me sane for now you don t know how worried i still am about you i still ask god to keep you safe always and to shower you with all the blessings you deserve i love you very very much always leave a comment daily checklist posted in uncategorized on august 6 2015 by y i am missing you more than usual again i ve been too busy with work that i only have time to eat and go to sleep whenever i get to go home if i m lucky i guess i wouldn t really mind it if i still have you you always made sure that i eat eating well and eating right or that i sleep as much as i can did you know that the last time i actually had a good and restful sleep was when we were together because back then you were there to keep me calm i can get really high strung sometimes mostly when i m busy at work or during my periods speaking of which i wasn t in a good mood the other day at work and i knew i just had to avoid people or i would blow off then i remembered what you said before that no matter how angry i get i still look beautiful to you and that you have all the patience and love in the world to deal with it especially during those times you always found a way to pacify my mood swings my love that s probably why i never had to worry about what s in store because you were always there and you always assured me that i have you to come home to do you still think about me do you still remember our days together because i still see you feel you and think of you every waking hour it s like a daily checklist that i have to make sure i accomplish before a day ends i still dream about you often you know these days i m lucky if i get 2 4 hrs of sleep that s even interrupted if we re still together i think i d get more than that you were just sooo comforting you heal my wounds be it emotional physical or mental i miss talking to you my love all those intellectual conversations as well as the funny ones we had i still go back to those memories every time with you i can freely speak my mind let my thoughts out in the open and wear my feelings on my sleeves i never had to worry about being judged or subjected to scrutiny because you always found ways to understand and criticize with justifiable reason and again i will say this i love you endlessly 2 comments one day posted in uncategorized on july 5 2015 by y what if one day you ll get to read all that i ve written here for you or what if you re secretly reading them already you always knew how to find out things about me always remember those times when i tried to hide things from you just because then you will find out and get mad for being lied to but only temporarily you said you never get mad at me because you just love me that much that no matter what i do or how i do things that you will always find a way to understand that i can always come back to you when things go wrong especially when they do go wrong remember that time when i asked what if i lose my legs my eyes my arms i wouldn t be able to walk to you see you or even hug you it would be horrible for me but more for you i d rather not come home and hurt you you said it would hurt me more if you don t come home than all the things you have mentioned combined if i have to carry you see for you and feel for you for the rest of our lives i d rather do that than not having you at all sure enough you did prove how far you would go for me i almost turned around as soon as i started walking away from you but i love you too much to not only hurt you and cause more damage i was so scared you would harm yourself i still am scared i m still living with fear and regret every single waking moment and i don t know how to get over it i can t figure it out i miss you very much my love much more than you know i love you everyday i love you always leave a comment universe posted in uncategorized on may 22 2015 by y there s this blog post that i keep going back to reading every now and then because i feel like it s written for us although i have no clue as to who the writer is i m sure that she wrote it more probably for herself it s about the theory of multiverse or what s so called parallel universe what if there really is another universe where you and i are together and happy what if in that universe i could freely love you and express it that way it should be i keep thinking about it and it is giving me hope i know this is somewhat close to insanity but ironic as it is this is the only thing that keeps me sane at the moment my love i still think about you every single waking moment yes there are times that they are not as painful the memories i mean but maybe it s the part of accepting that i cannot do anything to change the fact that i can t have you maybe temporarily but i m scared scared that you have someone else now scared that you love me less than how it used to be i was once your greatest i m hoping i still am the thought of not being one to you is sickening probably because i was never used to being less to you i see you all the time be it in a song a movie or something that reminds me of you and us but i wish i could touch you again i wish i could talk to you endlessly like how we used to it will never be the same i was thinking about it the other day told you the reason why i had to cut everything between us i did it because i love you so much that i d rather suffer the consequences of what the society think was wrong rather than have both of us go through hell i didn t mind taking the blows no matter how painful they were i wanted you to have your normal life back i m still suffering but that s okay as long as you are not in the same hell as i am maybe one day i ll get out of this mess and find my way back to you and i keep hoping that when that day comes you are still waiting for me with open arms i love you always 2 comments victims of love posted in uncategorized on january 26 2015 by y this one best describes us our hearts have been to battle our souls have been to war we ve lost the will to carry on we don t believe no more wasn t it we that said that this could never happen to us how wrong could we be cause baby here we are victims of love a broken down unfair so sad to see the debris scattered everywhere victims of love still cannot believe we are the victims of love we cannot retrieve it used to be so easy it used to be so good we had an understanding that got misunderstood i thought we were survivors and we never would go down but now we re just outsiders as our love comes tumbling down maybe we played it a bit too sure and everything was hearts and roses but fate stepped in and closed the door and we were just left standing and we realized the ending was so near where do we go from here victims of love a broken down unfair so sad to see the debris scattered everywhere victims of love i still cannot believe we re the victims of love we cannot retrieve leave a comment lost in space posted in uncategorized on january 26 2015 by y how have you been my love i ve been quite busy over the last couple of weeks you are always on my mind so please don t get upset no words could express how much i miss you i recently read something about losing someone it says the worst loss is separation by death people often think that when they distance themselves to the ones they love that they have already lost to some degree that could be the case but when you actually lose someone because they died that s something that you will never be able to fully move on you can swear to give everything you have for one chance of being able to hold that person again but it will never happen it s just how it is i have mixed feelings about this you know that i ve already gone through this type of loss because you were with me the whole time yet the separation between us now almost feels like the worst you are alive and hopefully well but i couldn t touch you i couldn t even come near you i could not talk to you or see you the only difference this makes is that i m still hoping that one day our universes will align themselves again maybe then i d be sure enough to take that leap of faith my love when i lost you my heart died with it so maybe some time in the future i ll be able to bring it back to life i love you always leave a comment star gazing posted in uncategorized on december 22 2014 by y i was driving to nowhere a while ago and a song started playing on the radio it s the song that i used to sing to you before on some of our late night conversations that one song that i d sing after you say something that ends in what do you want because i would always feel like it goes naturally with it do you know that when i dream about you i still feel the same overwhelming love but when i wake up all i feel is the pain of losing you sometimes i still hope that i haven t lost you forever even in my dreams you re still holding my hand i m slowly understanding the reasons why i left i ve always wanted you i still want you but i would not put you in a situation where i wouldn t have any control why because i cannot bear to see you regret being with me our situation has always been tough and you ve put up so much with it i cannot ask you to give much much more even if i know you d be willing to in a heart beat you are probably going to say who am i to decide for your future or for what you want but the thing is i am the biggest factor of your decision i hope you remember that i love you always leave a comment older entries archives april 2016 october 2015 september 2015 august 2015 july 2015 may 2015 january 2015 december 2014 october 2014 august 2014 july 2014 june 2014 may 2014 april 2014 may 2008 pages about born identity blogroll beero bonistation bonistationlevelup cadet magalpok dj az gasti 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