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description=Holistic wellness with a little edge ~ Namaste, muthafucka!;

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ort each other emotionally as much as we possibly could we both valued each other s perspectives opinions and each other s company but he was in his own words moody he also in his own words had the tendency to distance himself when he wasn t feeling quite right who doesn t eh and so one day we got into an argument that i still don t understand and he stopped talking to me inevitably i m quite sure i said something stupid or unclear which freaked him out which freaked me out which perpetuated the freaking out until he walked away cuz humans i ll probably never know why he wasn t willing to work it out once our emotions cooled we d gotten some perspective on the whole thing which sucks beyond words but it is what it is we both carried on with our lives just fine no villains here he broke my heart worse than anyone ever has but he s certainly not the villain of the story neither of us are the good far outweighed the bad in my eyes at least which certainly doesn t make either of us a hero either just uniquely beautiful humans we were both dealing with a lot in our own personal lives back then neither of us were in the best mindset the timing just wasn t right i suppose side note i m really struggling with this post to be honest the magnitude of our friendship can t really be put into words nor the heartbreak i felt i m trying though without getting too poetic about it the receipts of loving him this isn t really just a post about some super awesome dude who i m grateful to have loved it s to prove the case that you can always gain something even when you lose something there was a lot of love there a lot mutual respect trust adoration you name it he meant a lot to me and he still does in a lot of ways he helped shape the woman i grew into since knowing him i learned a lot from him here s just a few notable ideas grief is cyclical i know this because of my mom but because of him too i ll forget about his existence for a period of time then he suddenly pops into my mind the trail never completely grows over but i learn a little more every time i choose walk it be yourself fuck all he carried himself spoke with such confidence often flawless articulation and i admired the shit out of that at the time i was in my 20 s absolutely riddled with anxiety despite my extremely social career choice i don t think he felt that way about himself but it inspired the fuck out of me growth never ends he challenged my perspectives at times always pushed me gently to be a little better i ve always been one to welcome a worthwhile challenge you never know who you ll connect with if you stay open to the possibilities i ve met a lot of people in my life especially in the jobs i ve had and i ve gotten to know love a little bit of a lot of them but i always kept them at some distance because of my shadows he did too but when life was throwing lemons in his face he turned to me and i was happy to try to help him make some lemonade resilience bushels of lemons got thrown at him in pretty quick succession he was really having a hard time with it it s exhausting i know he rode the waves with as much grace as anyone possibly could i admired the shit out of that he never gave up never gave in never fully lost himself in the process and neither will i when you believe in someone they can accomplish beautiful things i felt like he believed that i was more capable than i felt i was with a lot of things which helped me learn how to believe in myself and that led me to accomplish some of the more important things in my life such as working in the er money ain t shit it s never worth it to work a job you hate he hated his job he worked in law enforcement so i don t blame him he said he got into it because he knew he could i thought i could ve been a prostitute but that doesn t mean i should money flows like water here one day gone the next back again a year later such is life it s not worth it to waste your precious time on this planet loathing everything for 40 hours a week don t do things that suck the vitality straight outta your soul and love i honestly felt like he was my second true love in life my first one as an adult even though we never dated so here s some things i learned on that note in no particular order there can be a tremendously enriching essence of genuine love in every dynamic of relationship if you live passionately and with curiosity when you love someone you don t turn your back on them especially if things are rough even if you re hurt i d told him more than once that i ll always be here as long as i m on the right side of the dirt i always will love requires sight of acceptance of both the light dark in another no reason to hide those who matter don t mind and those who mind don t matter once you truly love someone you never fully stop loving them ever is that a foolish perspective i don t think so when i grow to truly love someone there are reasons good fucking reasons short of abuse there s no reason for those reasons to become invalid if an overthinker says they love you believe them they ve thought of every reason not to amen love changes shape the people we love friends or family or some inspiring stranger with a guitar can become part of our inner landscape even when they re gone their influence doesn t disappear it changes form it becomes a part of the way we think create encourage others and navigate our own lives all that i gained from knowing him while i did passes on through how i interact with support the other people in my life that friendship wasn t for nothing in a lot of ways it saved me even grief has honey in its mouth have i loved it completely while it was here worship the miracle that it happened at all christopher sexton i ll challenge you with how he challenged me because it s definitely worthwhile take care of yourself help others live well stay weird image created with copilot some people aren t meant to stay forever maybe they re meant to become part of the foundation you build the rest of your life on if you ve ever had someone who changed you long after they left i d love to hear about them in the comments what gift did they leave behind i m not kidding drop them in the comments i read every one stay real live vibrantly and rock the fuck on july 9 2026 july 12 2026 zenblitz acceptance emotional healing friendship gratitude grief healing heartbreak letting go life life lessons love and loss meaningful relationships memories mindfulness moving forward personal personal growth relationships resilience self discovery zen blitz zenblitz 5 comments where i m at 22 where i m at we love chasing waterfalls where i m at posts are just monthly updates about what s going on in my life based on the areas roles in my life i m tired so i had to ask myself what s making me so tired and then i realized the million mini mountains i try to climb on a daily basis of inspiration affection adventures education so on it s exhausting but it s fulfilling it s resilience adaptability agency it s a matter of indulging in life instead of watching it happen memento vivere because memento mori i ve personally had enough reminders to take it to heart maybe i just need regularly scheduled siestas planner hmm planning still doing our little adventures nothing too crazy planned for july it ll be me hubby s 7 year wedding anniversary so we might have a steampunk party i don t feel like doing one but we probably should heh i hate hosting parties cuz my anxiety goes haywire but they re not for me they re for his family to have a reason to get together so shuddup anxiety i don t think i m really planning much else in particular so we ll see where the summer takes us self body mind eggggggh i finally got some answers about my back i have degeneration misalignment on l5 into si so basically the base of my spine is a fucker and i ve been feeling some excruciating pain in that exact spot for over a decade now weird thing is the middle of my spine feels fucked up but nothing shows on x rays so i started pt i was very thorough with him about where my spinal issues are and when he ran his fingers down the middle of my back he could very obviously tell something isn t right it like juts out and then the rest curves way in yup people think i have an ass ha i ve been fooling you all these years accentuating my horrifically fucked up spine with appropriately worn clothing lol bwah ha ha so i started pt and it s painful as all fuckin hell he even said he honestly doesn t think there s anything he can do for me i still enjoy chatting with him though getting into an actual gym learning a few things so there s that i ve been contrarian as fuck about my workouts lately even simple shit like tai chi i just refuse i ll get back into the groove soon though i rolled my ankle fell hard off my back steps at the very beginning of june it s still not fully healed but that s not a valid excuse i just don t wanna working back up to being mindful intentional about my physical state i suppose mentally i m doing alright feeling kinda bleh lately exhausted would probably be a more appropriate word and if you ve read my day in the life post you can see why but s all good marriage we actually went on a date i literally don t remember the last time we went out on an actual date it was just to see a really quite terrible improv show but it was cool cuz it was right by the river we d gone to on one of our very first dates we had more fun wandering around by the river than we did during the actual show lol even though hubby won a gift certificate to a local restaurant mom booboo bubby the girls are good they had their end of season gymnastics showcase which was super cute injuries only notable one was when booboo crashed her go kart into the skoolie good thing she was wearing a seatbelt a helmet she got an impromptu homeschool lesson in velocity traction that day heh no real injuries though i ve been taking them on dates individually once a month to get one on one time took booboo bowling took bubby to an arcade i think she just loves throwing things she s totally a gamer girl homeschool teacher 1st grade pk officially finished the school year i was panicking when i had to turn in the annual assessment for booboo but it really wasn t that serious lol well until i went to turn it in the drop box was blocked off by construction when i called they at first didn t know what to tell me so i ended up submitting it in the mail hopefully they got it lol so we ve officially started 2nd grade kindergarten since we do school throughout the summer it s going beautifully bubby surprises me more every day zenblitz i ve been slacking a little not gonna lie i just haven t been able to find the time or energy for my posts i m even behind on this one i created a landing page for my brand with more links in progress when applicable i like the simplicity of it i m working on a business card zine too hopefully i can make it look as nifty as it is in my head lol and i plan on doing a bit of guerrilla marketing with it worked on some print on demand designs but haven t started with redbubble yet mostly just playing with designs right now in other words made a couple of cool leather bracelets which i ve been wearing a lot started a really cool looking traveler s notebook but then hubby over conditioned it now it needs to dry out enough to hold paper lol ugh started a leather wallet but i m finding that i m appalled by 2 3oz leather so we ll see how it goes an experiment if nothing else homemaker finance cleaning gardening prepping travel fuck it fuck it all it s fine nothing to report step gramma good only got to babysit once or twice but she s good currently eating cup noodles are my love language drinking water coffee watching nothing really i don t have the attention span for anything tbh reading i gave my copy of the night circus to a girl who drove over an hour to pick up something i was selling on marketplace because she runs a circus side project so i m awaiting my ebay order of another copy lol playing nothing really buying well hubby got his roger rabbit bugatti golf cart so he s been spending some money on converting it from gas to electric i ve behaved for the most part heh listening to social distortion i don t know why i used to be bored by social distortion but they ve grown on me recently celebrating 7 years of marriage 9 years together pinning pretty background pics antique journals drawing technicalities self care quotes zines planning adventures feeling meh not bad just tired all that said i m still behind on my posts so we ll see what happens i may continue the series i ve been working through i may rant about any of the other things on my mind i may just take a week off to let my brain simmer down from this 90 weather whatever happens love you all see ya soon stay real live vibrantly rock the fuck on don t forget to stop watch the sun set once in a while july 2 2026 zenblitz holistic wellness mental health personal personal growth zen blitz zenblitz 6 comments day in the life where i m at taking a little break from our series by request from a wordpress friend because i m secretly a little behind on my normal posts shh here s a day in my life it s probably gonna be more like interstitial journaling with extreme commentary hopefully it ll be a least a little entertaining lol i tried to pick as normal of a day as possible so i probably should ve picked yesterday cuz now i ve got a couple things thrown at us to work around but that s ok so long as nobody in this house s moods go too far sideways anyways buckle up it s gonna be a long one friday june 19 2026 woke up at 7 30 said fuck no can t make me fell back to sleep woke up at 8 15 with an interrupters song stuck in my head not even sure which one went downstairs said good morning to the cat she gets lonely when i don t pass out on the couch all night looked at my phone while my brain came online saw a slightly interesting article on reddit written before green day s 21st century breakdown came out one of my favorite green day albums and checked in on a debate in a local facebook group about a confusing intersection cuz apparently i need something to get pissed off about first thing in the morning does it look like the left lane ends i think the fuck not got my lime water opened the curtains windows set myself up in my office laptop on background lo fi on tv capacities notion started writing this thing started my morning routine one reminder from yesterday meaning is hiding inside ordinary moments that receive extraordinary attention last year i ll stand by you went through my inbox of random tasks that came up throughout yesterday organized all the shit i gotta do today including homeschool plans tidying up the homeschool cart realized i gotta file away their portfolios cuz we ve technically started next year s work read today s passage in the daily stoic it s accompanying journal focus on one foot in front of the other espec...