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description= A collection of monsterous mysteries;
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the, mystery, of, monster, welcome, to, grove, lost, werecats, ogre, cookie, missing, head, in, dracula, gallery, stolen, bone, forest, menace, at, buffet, shaven, werewolf, witch, eating, chapters, archives, more, by, rick,
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the (307), and (178), said (137), you (109), was (102), that (74), had (51), but (48), #monster (47), witch (46), his (45), mom (42), what (40), they (39), werewolf (38), asked (36), have (35), mystery (33), she (31), frankenstein (31), out (29), for (28), big (28), know (28), with (27), who (27), one (27), monsters (26), them (26), like (25), dracula (25), not (25), there (25), dad (25), this (24), little (23), then (23), her (22), did (22), boo (21), just (21), don (21), grove (20), posted (20), when (20), goblin (20), how (19), skeleton (19), ogre (19), all (19), eat (19), are (19), our (19), cookie (18), here (18), been (18), back (18), were (17), get (16), cookies (16), your (16), about (15), head (15), look (15), could (15), see (15), would (15), night (15), looked (15), may (14), where (14), right (14), him (14), sure (14), come (14), why (13), bone (13), leave (13), too (13), can (13), new (13), welcome (12), through (12), want (12), from (12), their (12), knew (12), first 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Text of the page (random words):
s my name he said but you can call me frankenstein for short and that s how i met frankenstein the silliest monster in monster grove so when i got the phone call i was expecting a joke but no frankenstein was very serious it s gone said frankenstein somebody took it what s gone i expected him to say the last two minutes of my life stolen by a goofy monster i was sleeping in a tree he said and when i woke up it was gone what s gone frankenstein i don t know where i ll get another one maybe on the internet that s it i can order another one off the internet this time i ll get one prettier and smarter get one what i asked my head yelled frankenstein somebody stole my head find them i ll take them apart and use the parts to fix my toaster uh frank if you find my head i ll do my franken steinatra impersonation he began to sing i ve got screws under my skin who s franken steinatra i asked someone my ears listened to when they belonged to somebody else enough about my ears and my arms and you just leave my toes alone but please find my head frankenstein i said i know right where your head is where was frankenstein s head and how did i know where it was this one is so easy that if you don t get it i ll have to feed you to the monsters answer frankenstein s head was on his body otherwise how could talk to me i wasn t sure if was playing with me or if he had a bolt loose posted in 04 the mystery of the missing head leave a comment the mystery in dracula s gallery posted on may 25 2011 by rockcanyon someone broke into my gallery dracula woke me up in the middle of the night or rather my mother woke me she handed me the phone it s for you dear she went back to bed my sleep patterns had flip flopped since word had gotten around about my detective skills i like most normal humans like to sleep at night and play all day many of the monsters though were creatures of the night when they had a financial problem they woke up dad when they had a mystery to solve mom woke me up i tried to train them to wait until morning but monsters are impatient they re like two year olds was anything stolen i asked dracula not that i can see i just want to know who did it and why don t touch anything i said i ll be there in the morning by then it may be too late dracula said too late for what too late to find the evidence he said it might disappear what evidence i asked how should i know he said you re the expert oh all right i said i ll be there soon i put on my jacket left a note for my parents and headed out into the night a full moon pushed its way through light fog odd noises creeks rattles and groans crept out from the dark corners i wasn t sure what worried me more the dark and the noises or the fact that i was quickly getting used to the dark and the noises was i becoming one of them nah the tree branches reached out toward me as if to grab me yikes i jumped as something heavy gripped my shoulder i turned then laughed hi werewolf he stood there with a big grin he had long ago quit attacking people and tearing them apart in fact he had become a vegetarian and a neat freak tearing people apart was far too messy werewolf did enjoy proving that he could still make people jump nice facial hair i said i like the way it curls i d survived a couple of full moons in monster grove werewolf liked to come visit my family at his handsomest thank you werewolf said as he stroked his cheek i like it too are you off for a midnight walk dracula has an emergency he wants me to help with i said want to come i was still getting used to walking alone at night in the dark happy to join you he said as we walked along winding shadowy lanes we talked about our families upcoming events and the other monsters i told him it would be fun to be a werewolf he said it would be nice not having to comb so much every month and he hated shedding hair all over the furniture at last we climbed the steep hill to dracula s castle we knocked the huge doors creaked open finally dracula said come in hello werewolf he nodded at my companion werewolf nodded back show us to the scene of the crime i said drafty in here isn t it old castles are required by law to be drafty dracula said that s why all the doors and windows have gaps in them doesn t that let in a lot of bugs werewolf asked it does dracula said i have hired help that comes in once a week and eats them dracula led us to a large door sure enough there was a two inch gap between the bottom of the door and the floor dracula inserted a key into the lock then pushed hard on the door it creaked forward we stepped into the gallery it s i began but i was interrupted by bells sirens clanking screaming i covered my ears werewolf started howling dracula leapt to the door and entered a series of numbers on a keypad the noise stopped what was that i asked my alarm dracula said so that s how you knew you d been broken into i said what time did the alarm go off i m not exactly sure he said i m a deep sleeper the alarm was on when i woke up this evening i don t know how long it had been screaming werewolf walked around the room looking closely at the paintings on the wall a casual observer might think he was a lover of fine art but there were two problems with that conclusion first i don t think you could call the paintings fine art they were paintings dracula had done of his friends frankenstein little witch and big witch ogre goblin mr blob skeleton the werecat family and others the paintings were recognizable but they wouldn t make an art lover tingle with joy the second problem was that i knew werewolf was a clean freak and a bit obsessive compulsive i knew what he was doing and it wasn t looking at the quality of the art while werewolf growled disapprovingly i asked dracula was everyone happy with their paintings maybe someone just broke in to look at theirs they come all the time to look he said they don t need to break in i gladly let them in any complaints just one who demanded i change his painting but i refused i have my artistic integrity we watched as werewolf went from picture to picture staring closely at the frames he stopped in front of mr blob s picture and grasped the bottom of the frame with his right paw and the top with his left he straightened the painting smiled and said there that s better then he looked at his paws he held up his right paw it was covered in dust look at this dracula the bottom of this painting is filthy don t you ever dust in here duh this is a spooky castle there s supposed to be dust and cobwebs and drafts and strange noises just because our ancestors had bad habits doesn t mean we have to werewolf said if i can stop ripping up people he didn t go on he brushed off his paw and folded his arms back to the crime i said so you don t see anything stolen or moved i don t and the door was locked it was i don t see how anyone got in and yet the alarm went off faulty alarm said werewolf probably had dust on it i just had the alarm cleaned and checked last week said dracula i looked at the door i looked at the paintings and then i said i think i know who broke in and why have you figured out who it was and what they d done answer something had been moved the painting of mr blob when werewolf grabbed the frame he found dust on the bottom of the frame instead of where it should have been on the top that s because the painting had recently been turned upside down or as the object of the painting later explained right side up mr blob had been so frustrated at dracula s refusal to turn the painting around that he oozed in through the gaps under the door and made the change himself dracula realized that if he hadn t noticed the change it didn t really matter he let mr blob have his way posted in 05 the mystery in dracula s gallery leave a comment the mystery of the stolen bone posted on may 25 2011 by rockcanyon i d like to lodge a complaint said skeleton why are you complaining to me i was in my yard with boo we were jumping into piles of moss don t you have a mayor or something you can complain to we have a night mayor said skeleton but he s not any use he s only around when you re asleep so what s your problem i asked my funny bone he said frankenstein stole it frankenstein stole your funny bone i asked i don t see any bones missing you must be having trouble with your eyes said skeleton you should put some eyes cream on them okay where was your funny bone i asked skeleton looked at his left arm it was over here somewhere he pointed to his elbow on my laughed arm i groaned so why do you think it was frankenstein who stole it i asked because he told me skeleton said he called me on the phone and said he stole my funny bone and wouldn t give it back until i told him a joke i told him one what s the meanest pig on the planet frankenswine but he still won t give it back what do you want me to do i asked tell your dad to take away frankenstein s money until he gives me my funny bone back my dad would never do that i said and he wouldn t he doesn t blackmail his clients then you tell frankenstein to give me my funny bone back skeleton said he likes you i ll talk to him i said but he won t give your funny bone back because he never took it how did i know answer the funny bone isn t a bone it s a nerve and though skeleton was pretty brave he had long ago lost his nerves the funny bone is also a sense of humor and skeleton s bad puns showed that he had not lost that posted in 06 the mystery of the stolen bone leave a comment the mystery of the forest menace posted on may 25 2011 by rockcanyon we were walking through the forest me and frankenstein on our way to visit dracula for a midnight lunch it s spooky in here i mentioned oh no it s not spooky frankenstein said besides if something tries to hurt you i ll help you you couldn t hurt a butterfly i said but i can scare one he said he smiled proudly i am the biggest thing alive in the forest i know you ll protect me i said even if you aren t the biggest thing alive in the forest i m not said frankenstein who s bigger witch isn t bigger skeleton isn t bigger mr blob isn t bigger who s bigger i told him what thing living in the forest was bigger than frankenstein answer the trees frankenstein laughed you scared me trees aren t scary they are not mean they won t hurt me they don t have teeth and claws or wham he walked right into a low branch ouch said frankenstein mean tree posted in 07 the mystery of the forest menace leave a comment the mystery at the monster buffet posted on may 25 2011 by rockcanyon i ve been to a lot of all you can eat buffets i love the variety i love to try new foods but the variety at the monthly monster grove potluck party is downright scary and probably dangerous mom won t let us try anything unless dad tries it first not that she s trying to kill dad but dad has a titanium stomach things that would kill us only give him an upset stomach so he tries a new food first and if he doesn t get sick we go ahead and eat it we know if we follow these rules the worst that can happen is that we ll get queasy maybe throw up and maybe have to go to the hospital and get our stomachs pumped we knew mom s food was safe so when we walked in on that fall potluck the first thing i did was take a big serving of mom s bread pudding the second thing i did was shout dad get eating so we ll know what won t kill us dad obliged he likes trying new foods too i looked over the dishes i make a fine crème brûlée said frankenstein as he put his dish on the table mummy brought an assortment of you guessed it wraps good i thought nothing could go wrong here what s in them i asked him roast beetles he said i decided to skip the wraps skeleton brought ribs they re not yours are they i asked skeleton stopped and said clearly and with great annoyance of course not i have no meat on my bones good i said so let s see they look like beef uh no said skeleton then they must be pork i said guess again chicken not even close i decided to skip the ribs big witch was cutting a large pie what kind is it i asked i love pie boysenberry she said my favorite kind of buy mine too little witch said i d have to find out where she bought it it looks delicious i said we bicked the berries ourselves said big witch i moved on to look at the other selections dad filled his plate with main courses ate it all and smiled burp dig in he said we filled our plates high with anything that didn t look disgusting but just before we began eating it hit me i dropped my plate and ran to boo and my parents dad was just starting on the desserts don t eat the pie i yelled and i told them why do you know why answer when big witch spoke she said her p s like b s which meant that her boysenberry buy might just be poison berry pie it wasn t worth taking a chance posted in 08 the mystery at the monster buffet leave a comment the mystery of the shaven werewolf posted on may 25 2011 by rockcanyon it was a dark night but not a stormy night the sky was clear a rare occurrence in monster grove the moon would have lit the sky and the earth if there had been a moon but there was no moon so as i walked through the night enjoying the cool air i held my flashlight before me and let it guide me on it wasn t long ago that i would have been terrified at the thought of walking alone at night i d still be afraid of walking alone at night where we used to live but here where i have picnics play games work and play with creatures of the night walking alone at night has lost its threat i knew that if something jumped out to attack me say something that did not belong here in monster grove like an angry kangaroo i only had to shout and someone would come to my rescue someone like dracula or frankenstein or werewolf werewolf is that you i shined my light at the figure that approached but i couldn t see for sure because of a light shining at me it s me werewolf said i ve been looking for you your mother said you d be here glad to see you i said what s up werewolf turned his light from my face and shined it on his look he was almost in tears look someone shaved me when i was asleep his light showed a smooth handsome face but i liked him better as a werewolf who would do that i asked it could be anybody said werewolf but i suspect frankenstein he s jealous because he can t grow fur and you know how he is with practical jokes werewolf what did you eat last night i asked no one you know he said what did you really eat i knew werewolf would never eat someone radishes he said just radishes i asked just radishes he said and do you ever walk in your sleep i asked my wife says i do but i don t believe her he said i ve never caught myself sleepwalking well i think i have i said i think you re sleepwalking right now i took him by the hand here i said let me take you home aren t you going to find out who shaved me he asked i already know i said and i led werewolf home who did i think shaved werewolf and how did i know answer the night was dark there wa...
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