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straight call ambulans mcm2 pulak dia tanye smbil tu ayah call datuk li mama s cuzin who s a head of obgyn in hsi dia advice panggil ambulans je and nothing much we could do smbil tunggu ambulans tu kami dok panggil2 mama sikit pun x terlintas utk kami nk cek nadi dia kami igt cam biasa mama sakit naik ambulans admitted ward 3 4 hari then mama akan ok smntara tu call kakak btau mama sakit n tgh tunggu ambulans ayah pulak while nk make sure dpan umah clear utk ambulans bertegur dh pakcik rahim dpn rumah he came by tgk mama and he tried to check her pulse tergamam kami x terfikir langsung mcm dh xde katenye i yg masa tu kt sblh kpale mama tried to look for pulse kt leher dia mcm xde jugak meraung kami anak beranak sbb langsung x expect by then kakak and her husband abg echom pon dh sampai few minutes pas tu ambulans dtg and diorg terus cek denyutan jantung n nadi and she was pronounced dead then and there at around 10 45am allahuakbar we re supposed to go out for lunch together tp kekasih abadi telah menjemput dia kembali sedih hiba sgt2 i meraung macam nk gile skjap masa tu mcm hilang akal i x nmpk my husband and kids masa tu alhamdulillah dia ade sbb i mcm langsung x boleh fikir straight lupe anak lupa husband meraung je abg echom dok tenangkan kami when i got back all my senses and blaja utk redha bru tenang sikit baru dpt berfikir semula and kemaskan rumah salin baju mama baru td adik pakai kan baju mama cantik2 tp ni kne bukak dah selimutkan elok2 baca yasin seblah mama atas katil then tiba masa kami alihkan jenazah mama ke ruang tamu dan mengadap kiblat xlama lepas tu ramai yg datang alhamdulillah adik beradik mama semua sempat tiba by 3pm x silap ade yg dr spore and paling jauh pun dr kl jiran sblh kiri rumah yg mmg berniaga pasar malam tlg masakkan lauk utk mkn tghari ptg kami semua siap dihidang di porch rumah jiran sblh kanan syukur dpt jiran yg baik2 mmg betul kami dpt makan beramai2 tp atas sebab yg lain sedihnyaaa masa nk mandikan jenazah ade yg tanye i nk mandikan x tp ade makcik2 yg kata x elok sbb i ade baby yg baru 4 bulan termenung kejap i fikir xpelah pgi td i dah dpt mandikan dia masa dia masih bernyawa berilah peluang tu pd adik n kakak and yg lain yg sudi long story short around 4 mama selamat dikebumikan di tanah perkuburan bukit aliff ard 15 minutes dr rumah i x ikut ade baby kan hari ke 3 baru i dapat zirah kubur mama ikut ayah seminggu i cuti masa tu dh la baru seminggu naik dr 3 months maternity leave smbung lagi compassionate leave nak buat cmne kan bkn kita mintak syukur jugak colleagues and bosses all ok it took me quite a while to digest the fact that mama dh xde tiada lagi keberkatan doa dr seorang ibu for us di akhir hayat mama walau pun dia paralyse she knows it all dia ttp tahu ape ade dimana dlm rumah dia siang2 pun lpas dh mandi and solat sementara nk tunggu masa utk masak lunch dgn ayah dia akan online using the laptop yg i ltak kt umah pndai je dia google resepi itu ini login fb paling terasa ialah dh xde lg teman berbual waktu pam di office dia rajin call waktu i pam bukan bual ape pon blk2 masak ape buat ape tp kadang2 i terpaksa make our call short bile bz aihhhh tu lah kan bile dh xde ni baru rasa nk menyesal bagai rindunya ni dh 2 tahun pun masih rindu terbayang2 usapan lembut tgn dia bile i blk rumah sana lepas angkat2 brg masuk dr kete i akan baring jap sblh dia time tu la dia urut lebih pd usap je pun sbb dia x kuat blkg and bahu anak dia suara dia yg ceria ucap assalamualaikum anak mama everytime i smpai rindukan dia ckp anak syurga mama ni each time lepas i angkat dia or mandikan dia tiada lagi kata2 doa itu semoga allah makbulkan doa mama yg satu ini semoga allah berkati hayat mama ampuni dosa2 mama terima segala amal ibadah mama haramkan mama dari azab api neraka dan rahmati roh mama adik sayang mama dulu kini dan selamanya hjh rojinah bt abd kadir 18 feb 1955 13 apr 2014 blabbed by fana at 7 15 2016 02 52 00 pm no comments thursday july 14 2016 hello world assalam been ages since i wrote in here last was on mama s passing semoga mama ditempatkan di kalangan para solihin lets do some updates we ve welcomed our third bundle of joy on 15 sep 2015 a boy alhamdulillah azhraf az zidane bin mohd afiq new rule dh x boleh ade sempang untuk daftar nama anak maka nama last x sebijik dgn abg definitely a pleasant surprise when we found out we re expecting another one masa tu ayyash bru smbut bufday sethn merasa gak dpt anak setahun satu huhuhu azhraf is a pretty easy boy snang jage dia masa pantang pon i ok je happy je walaupon x smpat discaj dr maternity dh kne admit utk baby jaundice i happy je infact i mmg lg suke dok kt ward teman bb masa dia jaundice dr kene dok ulang alik g cek darah 5 hari gak i ok je dok kt spital ni tenang je sampai masa makanan sampai huhuhu tp kesian husband je la penat berulang we bought a house sub sale single storey house alhamdulillah segala urusan dipermudahkan first pergi tgk rumah on mlm 1 april 2015 dpt loan approval within 2 weeks dpt kunci rumah on july 27th 2015 buat renovation sikit tukar lampu kipas repaint cornice ceiling walls in all rooms and hall dan yg paling feveret tahap mengidam masa tu tgh heavily pregnant adalah pasang laminated flooring on whole house except kitchen i managed it all cari kontraktor cari barang cari design hubs was pretty busy dgn kerja baru so i was the one yg dok ulang alik tgk progress rumah during lunch break or after office hour excited oih and we finally moved in on aug 22nd sgt rushing sbb my due date was on sep 21st sile bayangkan dgn preggo 36 weeks dok mempacking barang masuk kotak kemas bagai tp mmg bersemangat sgt nk jugak merasa dok umah sendiri sblm beranak ayah dh ade teman baru alhamdulillah sekurang2nye ade peneman yg sudi jaga sakit pening dan perut dia hihihi dh smbut first anniversary pon 12th feb aritu so far so good kami pon baik je dgn aunty pandai masak and rajin jugak menghias rumah slowly dia re susun rumah ayah kami ok je it was nice raya ni mmg raya betul rumah diorg siap langsir baru walaupon bli siap kt ssf nurin dh start school early this year i spent my final month of confinement leave utk mencari school utk dia kt jb ni ade kindies yg ikut skolah kjaan means skolah on sunday ade yg x memula tu i was reluctant nk pilih yg skolah on jumaat tp masa during nk decide tu mmg dh berkenan sgt dgn little caliph so redha je lah pengasuh pun sudi nk jaga dia on friday so ok lah alhamdulillah bagus jugak sbnanye dia skool ahad ni nurin and ayyash ni mmg susah sikit bile ade sama2 asik nk gaduh berebut brg so sabtu mmg weols akan spend time together then ahad mmg senyap je umah ayyash pon mcm x tentu arah bile nurin xde dok klua masuk bilik xtau nk kacau sape hahahaha bile kakak ade bukan main awak dok nyakat akak raya kali ni sgt2 sederhana i didnt buy anything for myself baju budak2 pon dpt lepaskan first raya pon dah cukup asal sedondon dgn abahnye bju casual mmg dh slalu beli byk yg x pakai lg sjak abah dia kje shift ni mmg jarang sgt kami keluar kalau ade pon slalu dgn my sisters untung dpt sisters yg rajin melayan anak2 kami i m no more working in wd sbnanye dr masa confinement leave lg dh terpikir nk cari keje lain sbb rase cam best bile 3 bln cuti tu xyah risaukn ape2 psl keje sblm tu dia punye buzy dan stress mak aih tp bile dh naik keje tu terlupa jap smpai lah on march 1st dpt notification kt fb saying i dah 5 thn keje situ 5 tahun fuhhh mmh dh high time tu maka terus scouting x byk sgt opportunities kt jb ni utk senior position i byk receive openings and offers from kl tp x nk kot x rase nk dok sana alhamdulillah landed on pretty good offer kt sini submit resignation letter on 22nd march and start keje baru on 30th may sedih gile masa nk inform boss all is good there especially my bosses just that its time to move on and try new adventur keje baru ni pulak ok je cuma the thing is the office is a shop lot so sgt downgraded dr wd yg premis nye has it all kpd premis yg ermmmm toilet pun share gents and ladies redha je lahhhh bertabah sbb tau sini dpt blaja benda baru good to build my repertoire lets give myself at least a year here then baru fikir camne so i guess thats all for now nnt ade masa kita kasi update lg kesian ayyash and azhraf i didnt update anything on their milestone wuuuuuu blabbed by fana at 7 14 2016 11 45 00 am no comments friday september 5 2014 syurga buat mama dah dekat 5 bulan mama kembali kepada pencipta rindu rindu amat amat rindu nk call mama masa tgh pam mama akan tanya bape byk dpt arini rindu nk dgr mama call and talk to nurin masa otw to or fro rumah pengasuh rindu intonasi mama assalamualaikum anak mama every friday nite bile balik umah sana rindu nk angkat mama dukung mama rindu nk mandikan mama sambil borak2 rindu nk golek2 sebelah mama sambil mama lurut rambut adik rindu type ni pon dh berjujuran air mata tu la lumrah manusia kan bila ada we take things for granted bila tiada hmmmm menyesal mmg mcm2 penyesalan yg ade dlm benak ni menyesal x layan mama dgn baik masa hayatnye kekadang bile penat dia call saja x angkat skrg rindu hmphhh skrg ayah pakai phone num mama saja x potong sbb free call between our num masa baru2 mama pergi ayah call pakai num tu appear mama on my phone tersentak sekejap nnt lah akan diceritakan jugak mcm mane mama pergi sbb mmg kenangan sgt2 every detail masih dlm ingatan yg penting mama pergi dgn mudah ditemani ayah mairah lil sis ayyash az zidane and myself amat mudah smpai kami sendiri xsedar di saat bila ialah nafas terakhirnya allahuakbar it was her ultimate wish to go tanpa menyusahkan sesiapa dan cepat semoga mama damai dan tenang di sana di samping tok mak tok yah and adik abdullah dan para solihin yang lain semoga allah jauhkan mama dari segala seksaan dan janjikan syurga buat mama we miss u so much but we know u re definitely in a better place till we meet again adik sayang mama hari hari ayah datang berbual dgn mama he misses you ma blabbed by fana at 9 05 2014 03 11 00 pm 1 comment wednesday april 9 2014 the birth of ayyash az zidane bismillah alhamdulillah i am now a proud mother of two a girl and a boy sepasang sudah boleh berehat lama skit eiceh ye je sekali tettttttt baru pas bersalin ni pon mcm dh rindu masa pregnant bersalin kali ni lebih kurang je masa bersalin nurin cuma entah kenapa kali ni takde rase serik sgt utk kenangan here s the chrono dec 2013 company keluarkan memo mengatakan maternity leave starting 2014 akan increase ke 90 days sgt2 berharap adik akan lahir on 2014 to be exact jan 3 2014 siap ajak ramai2 doakan by putting up the words in fb hikhik so as others read at the same time they are praying for me lah kan sbb tu kena specific screen capture of my fb status jan 2 2014 thursday specifically request hubster utk bacakan yaasin utk baby and i semoga semua selamat and dapat lahir esok jan 3 2014 friday bgn pagi dgn perasaan berdebar mcm dpt rase today is the day me on my last day of pregnancy 8am sampai ofis terus ke toilet rasa mcm nk menjerit and nk sujud syukur kat situ jugak bile nmpak lendir darah on my pantyliner walk to my desk sambil tersengih2 sbb lama sgt dh tunggu saat ni call hubster bitau condition and agreed utk jumpe kt umah 9am drive back home colleagues pelik sbb masih nk drive huhuh baru keluar tanda takde rasa sakit pon 9am to 4pm smpai umah last minute packing mandi lama gile siap syampu rambut and hisap air hujung rambut hubster beria mengasak ajak g hospital cepat masalahnye x sakit sgt stakat on and off cramps je kompem sesia je g hospital lepas siap semua pergi rumah mak konon nak drop brg2 pantang then nk ajak hubster g jejalan dulu tup2 melekat kt umah mak mak siap masak kari ikan sayang xde bendi 2 pinggan makan sbb tau perlukan tenaga nnt solat zohor ngaji sikit try tdo xleh excited sgt 4pm masih x rase skt sgt tp sbb terlalu berharap nk lahir haritu jugak so rasa mcm nk serah diri je mana tau dgn pitocin sempat lahir aritu jugak gerak dr umah singgah umah babysitter nurin nk pass extra baju n diapers peluk cium dia yg tgh tdo sayu singgah petronas beli ice cream sempat menikmati ice cream top ten rm1 50 favourite nih 4 30pm singgah shaklee tmn molek beli supplements utk pantang zinc vit b vit c vitalea and ostematrix 5pm sampai pac hsi btau turun tanda yg ade hanyalah 2 houseman girls a chinese and a malay the chinese did ve on me turns out baru 1 2 cm dia suruh balik i tanye u tak buat ctg ke and she replied perlu ke i said i demand for it turns out ctg x cntik baby sleeping pattern katenye berkali2 nurse betolkan kedudukan ctg tu kebetulan a mo lalu my bed saw my ctg and scream who attend this patient berlari the chinese girl to me i masih igt the ayat the mo marah kan the ho didn t u look at the ctg i said arm now now means now in two minutes if she s not in the labour room anything happens to her u answer peghhhh terkujat makcik sbb masa tu tgh berangan kalau betul kene blk dh plan nk ajak hubster singgah mcd beli prosperity burger punah lah harapan kalau dh masuk labour room mmg xdptlah nk mkn masa kena tolak dgn wheelchair i was so blur arm tu ape tanya attendant yg tolak tu rupenya pecahkan ketuban erk mmg tak gentle langsung la birthing aku kali ni 6 15pm the mo pecahkan ketuban tak sakit tp sgt tak selasa sbb dia mcm rodok2 benda panjang tu yg i pulak terkemut maka susahlah dia nk buat tetiba gushhhhh air panas mencurah lega x sakit dia siap pesan u rest kejap around 7 start pitocin which means contraction mmg akan kuat selepas tu he did ve 3 cm 7 15pm start pitocin in labour room selepas air ketuban dipecahkan and on pitocin 8 15 pm 4cm contractions 2 in 10 masih boleh handle masih boleh berbual dgn hubster 9 30 pm the ctg shows that my baby is distress tp i x rase pape pon so i have to wear the oxygen tube rimas gak bende tu but for my baby s sake redha 10 12 pm sakit yg maha sakit no progress in my dilation mcm tak consistent dgn contraction yg maha hebat tu sampai 100 reading bile skt tu by then i already maxed out on pitocin dosage i asked them to call dato ghazali for advice he advised to increase sikit lg and monitor c sec should be under consideration by now oh oh i really hate the ethonox gas i xnk tp midwife tu sibuk suruh pakai to help ease the pain masalahnye it doesnt help at all n dh tau bnd akan buat i ngantok kang kalo ngantok i bertambah cranky tp hubster pujuk gak mintak ikut ckp midwife i sedut gak tp kekadang saje sedut tipu2 takut sgt ngantok in between contractions sbg kenangan jan 4 2014 saturday 1 30 am sakitnye ya allah segala breathing technique i dah apply nothing helps anymore asked for ve turns out 5cm 1 cm je gerak in 5 freaking hours another doc came in and mention lets hope for a miracle dengar je perkataan miracle i teringat something kertas doa selusuh yg my dad buatkan for me i was holding on to it since smpai hospital tp masa tgh dok sakit2 around 9pm the kertas jatuh on the floor and hubster put it away in my bag terus i mintak kertas tu and hold on to it 1 50 am hubster mintak izin nk turun minum sbb x mkn or minum p...
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