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Text of the page (random words):
one egg please one egg please one woman s winding journey through infertility egg donation a possible pregnancy with a gestational carrier and finally a spontaneous pregnancy sunday april 20 2014 six months the last six months have flown by hazelnut has brought so much joy to our lives it is wonderful seeing her big sister lmi cooing over her tickling her and kissing her they are so sweet together hazelnut is thriving at six months old she is growing and eating and sleeping so well considering lmi has always been small it is so different for a and i to see what a child on the curve looks like she s in size 3 diapers same as her 2 5year old sister and solidly wearing 6 12month clothes her hair continues to be dark and full and spiked she lets me put ponytails and clips in it which i find so so cute hazelnut s personality is starting to develop she smiles when she feels fresh air on her face when she tries a new food that she likes so giggles with delight she laughs when we give her tummy kisses and when she makes noises with her mouth blowing raspberries is one of her favourite past times and she lights up when she does it she follows lmi with her eyes and is always so focused on her they already have a special bond that i look forward to watching over the years i get so many people telling me that she has my eyes at first it was a bit weird for me but i say thank you and laugh inside not only are they not my eyes obviously but hers are true blue and mine are green i m still very aware about the de piece but i m also so proud of it it s just another part of what makes her so special happy six month birthday hazelnut i love you r posted by r at 2 08 pm 7 comments saturday november 2 2013 she s here hazelnut was born two weeks ago she was 37w4d and came out a whopping 7lbs3oz and measures 20 tall she is truly a miracle in every sense of the word the last month of my pregnancy was not the easiest it was quite similar to lmis in the sense that i was once again diagnosed with pih and hospitalized for a short stay the symptoms were all too familiar for me severe headache high blood pressure and swelling i must have worn my cr oc flip flops for two months straight i was in and out of triage and the doctor s office all while trying to balance work until i was told to stop working at 34 weeks my house arrest officially began i turned 37 weeks on my 33rd birthday my present was learning that i was to be induced the next night and i would be meeting my hazelnut the following day well things did not turn out as planned the hospital was swamped with labours and inductions and was continuously getting bumped i literally sat at home staring at the phone waiting for the call to come to the hospital it took 36hours or an eternity for the call to come 11am on saturday a and i showed up at the hospital ready to begin the induction the first step cervadil when they were ready to begin the saw that my cervix was already displaying 3 4cm so the cervadil was no longer an option we now needed to wait for an l d room and nurse to be able to break my water we waited in triage for 12 hours we schmoozed with the nurses went for lunch in the cafeteria and watched a lot of net flix best invention ever finally we were ready to begin i asked for the epidural before they broke my water the agreed the epidural was a piece if cake i of course was shitting bricks with the anticipation of it but i felt no pain and it was over quite quickly within minutes i could feel my legs going numb and i was happy that it was working until my blood pressure bottomed out i was nauseous and so incredibly sick they gave me meds to stabilize me but for the next 3 hours my blood pressure was a roller coaster and until i was ok they wouldn t begin the induction once i was alright we finally began my waters broke and 3 hrs later my sweet hazelnut was born and just like that it was all worth it thank you for following my journey your support and advice were always appreciated i don t think i would be in this place without you posted by r at 10 20 pm 13 comments friday august 16 2013 de reflections freak outs it has been forever since my last post i m not sure why though i still check in on this space regularly and keep reading your blogs and posts daily but commenting and updating just haven t been happening i m sorry for my absence it s nothing personal just avoiding i guess this pregnancy is flying by i m now 28 weeks how did that happen and so far things are progressing normally i of course failed the one hour glucose test however i did manage to slightly pass the two hour so as now i am gd free my blood pressure is also surprising good right now and generally i am feeling pretty good it is weird to be so normal but i am not complaining i am loving it i remember the anatomy scan as if it were yesterday a and many others were convinced we were having a boy as my morning sickness was out of control and so so different than with lmi i was still throwing up almost daily until 20 21 weeks i didn t have a feeling one way or another but since everyone predicted boy i started thinking of blue amd boys names so after the measurements were completed and the baby looked healthy the big reveal came looks like you ll have two girls at first i thought he meant that there were two babies in there but no just one healthy girl sisters we were surprised and shocked and totally excited and so we ve decided to name my baby hazelnut it s an ode to my boobie and makes me smile when i say it i am feeling quite anxious and overwhelmed with the de aspect of this pregnancy i am obsessed with the fact that our donor is a giant considering i am so the opposite and find myself obsessing over the fetal size of this pregnancy right now hazelnut is measuring in the 44 ile and i couldn t be happier but until last week she was measuring quite small we both had a bit of a weight gain this month a and i feel quite strongly that we do not want the fact that this baby was conceived differently from lmi to be a secret or something shameful we are proud of our journey and the l o n g and bumpy road that will have brought us to our family of four but i can t find the words or the timing or the moment to tell those closest to us every time i think i am ready it turns out that emotionally something is blocking me i have spoken at length with sj and we went over some potential questions that family may ask us once we disclose and a and i have talked at length about what we feel comfortable sharing and what we feel is private and for our child to share when if she is ready so what is stopping us it is not like we want to hire the good year blimp or skywrite the news but i really want close extended family and friends to know and not have this secret hanging over our heads i would really love your thoughts on when and who and how you told about your de ds conceptions i know that everyone says that once the baby is born none of this will matter but right now it consumes me i can t stop thinking about what the baby will look like will she resemble lmi or a i know in my head that even when siblings are 100 genetically related they often don t look or act alike but in my irrational brain i can t stop thinking about it i think about how i am going to react every time someone tells me that she has my eyes or smile and i try to come up with my response now so that the crazy postpartum hormones don t get the best of me and i snap or fall apart i think about how lmi and hazelnut will grow up and i hope that there will be no issues that are different from the normal sibling rivalry stuff maybe this is my version of nesting since i am not planning on re organizing or cleaning my house my head is a mess which is probably contributing to my lack of reaching out and communicating i m over the moon excited about this pregnancy and the idea of adding to our family i m so excited to see lmi as a big sister and i know that she will love her little sister to the end of the world i guess it s just nerves i can t wait to meet my hazelnut and tell her how much i love her r posted by r at 8 48 pm 10 comments tuesday march 26 2013 toddler sleep regression lmi was ferberized at 4 5 months and has been putting herself to sleep ever since she falls asleep for naps and bedtime with little fuss and sleeps pretty soundly until the morning but all that changed in the last two weeks she has been fighting going to sleep she is now 19months and when i put her to bed she stands in the crib and screams mommy it s awful she has cried anywhere from 5 min to over an hour what is up i am trying to let her cio but this is so out of the ordinary for her that i do find myself going in to sit on the floor by her crib and talk to her i try not to pick her up or run her back but after 2 hours i don t know what else to do the worst of it is at bedtime she goes to bed around 7 30 with the same routine every night milk bath books bed but she is now falling asleep closer to 9 pm naps aren t terrible the crying is only for a few minutes and she continues to sleep from 1 2 30 i don t know what is going on any suggestions or ideas are welcome r posted by r at 11 24 pm 5 comments thursday march 21 2013 first ultrasound yesterday my anxiety about the first ultrasound was out of control i was awoken in the middle of the night to severe cramping which of course caused me to freak out luckily there was no blood i knew that it was related to nerves but it still didn t calm me down at 6w5d i was expecting to see a heartbeat i have been suffering from morning sickness worse than with lmi i have ha to pull my car over on my drive to work four mornings now so that symptom was keeping me going and hoping for the best the ultrasound clinic does not allow spouses into the exam room until the end and the tech said to a if everything is ok i will call you back being in the room alone terrified me i kept thinking back to the ultrasound in 2010 where there was no fetal pole i got on the table and she immediately started looking around on my belly there were l o n g periods of silence followed by when was your transfer again i was literally throwing up in my mouth and then just like that she found it there was a heartbeat 123bpm and we were able to hear tears came to my eyes i was so relieved the embryo measured 7weeks and so right on track i met with the re after and she decided that i need to be monitored weekly for the first trimester so weekly ultrasounds it is i m glad she s taking such a proactive approach so for today and yesterday i am relieved and hopeful r posted by r at 6 51 pm 14 comments sunday march 3 2013 results hcg more than doubled today from 219 to 641 3 the sigh is starting to come out of course there are many hills to climb but this is a win today i haven t heard from a co nurse yet and may not until tomorrow because the local clinic has fax issues but i am hoping that the huge jump in numbers isn t out of the ordinary or bad the local nurse said it was good trying to trust in the process and be in the moment not always easy for me thank you for the outpouring of support r posted by r at 1 18 pm 14 comments friday march 1 2013 the day i have been waiting for i have been obsessively poasing since 5dp5dt all bfp albeit of different darknesses it had me both worried one day dark line next day very light almost can t see it and cautiously optimistic i even had some nice red brown spotting to through into the mix to keep me on my toes of course i emailed nn to discuss this and she wouldn t entertain me in a conversation until i was really pregnant ugh so today s hcg came in at 219 my estrogen is 528 and progesterone is 31 88 i m relieved and cautiously optimistic by these numbers back on sunday for a repeat hcg and assuming the number doubles i may let out a small sigh of relief r posted by r at 9 06 pm 9 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me r june 30 2004 was the best day of my life my wedding in 2007 after 3 years of wedded bliss we decided to start our family after 4 ivfs and 2 chemical pgs we decided it was time to start the next chapter in our infertility journey donor eggs but have learned that this too is filled with many bumps along the way in may 2010 we got our bfp but we soon learned it was not meant to be we miscarried a few weeks later while moving on with a gestational carrier we discovered that we were pregnant without medical intervention little miss it lmi was born on august 23 2011 this is my story email me at 1eggplease gmail com view my complete profile blog archive 2014 1 april 1 six months 2013 12 november 1 august 1 march 4 february 4 january 2 2012 17 december 1 november 2 october 2 august 3 july 1 june 1 may 1 march 1 february 2 january 3 2011 75 december 3 november 4 october 4 september 3 august 7 july 6 june 7 may 5 april 10 march 6 february 8 january 12 2010 347 december 17 november 24 october 24 september 30 august 29 july 28 june 42 may 36 april 33 march 32 february 28 january 24 my blog list misconceptions about conception do genes matter 8 years ago mojo working two 10 years ago life and love in the petri dish big girl bed interim report update 10 years ago all in one basket pride and consequentialism 11 years ago roccie road everything is coming up rocco 11 years ago trying to get knocked up by another man t e n 11 years ago searching for the missing piece risks 12 years ago matt liz and madeline interview with cnn maddy s first race 12 years ago the parents via egg donation organization kudo s and props to pved s own board advisor wendie wilson miller 12 years ago slice of pie a blog goodbye 12 years ago mytwolines will i ever 12 years ago planting a pumpkin patch one pling errr make that 13 month ling no wait 14 month ling for three more days and now she s 15 months 13 years ago hoping4family 9 months old today 13 years ago try try again long overdue 13 years ago my ccrm ivf journey oops again 13 years ago journey to the center of the uterus eight weeks of goodness 14 years ago built in birth control the journey to our three little kilos my world my ramblings wanted one good embryo blogger sign in watermark theme powered by blogger