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Text of the page (random words):
e chopsticks and bdsm and have been blogging almost three years now almost every day 1011 posts counting this one my life has changed so much since then and part of that change has been because of the blog because of my relationships with each of you yeah my life has morphed in ways that i couldn t possibly have imagined i ve been toying with the idea of ending this blog for a while i m too happy to have great posts to write about inner turmoil and conflict and while sir has a vast supply of creative ideas for erotic and sensual experiences i don t feel the urge to write about them i hate that i am thinking about doing this at the same time that kbc didn t work out i don t want people to think that there s any connection there maybe no one would have thought it anyhow but that in itself the fact that i m concerned about your reaction is an indication that i m not writing for myself anymore that i m writing with one eye on the reader sigh so i m taking a break maybe a permanent break probably a permanent break i ll still be around and i ll leave the blog up but i think i m headed in new and different directions however don t forget that next year ms constance will still be doing bluegrass leather pride first weekend in march if there s a class on blogging i ll be there if you want to stay in touch in the meantime you can always reach me at aisha hisservant gmail com comments 65 comments categories uncategorized on the run again 7 mar i am on the run today got to be somewhere by 8 and have stuff scheduled intermittently all day til 8 tonight so here s some food for thought i love googling quotes submission there s such a lovely range of choices from jane eyre i do not think sir you have any right to command me merely because you are older than i or because you have seen more of the world than i have your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience charlotte brontë jane eyre which i whole heartedly agree with after all there s no consent to him commanding her there to fifty shades so you ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me it s about gaining your trust and your respect so you ll let me exert my will over you i will gain a great deal of pleasure joy even in your submission the more you submit the greater my joy it s a very simple equation okay and what do i get out of this he shrugs and looks almost apologetic me he says simply e l james fifty shades of grey which cracks me up it does sound ridiculous when you put it that way and reminds me that i don t think she s submissive or she wouldn t have to ask to the christian perspective how you respond to authority over you says a lot about what you claim to believe when your standard of living is christ centered you invariably live to honor others kevin thoman which doesn t speak to me anymore but does to lots of people to this from tammy jo eckhart who i got to see present at kinky kollege submissive men men who desire to serve as consensual slaves are on one of the most difficult journeys in the world today because they have rejected patriarchal privilege and embraced their own heart s calling instead tammyjo eckhart at her feet powering your femdom relationship which makes me think about drew ms constance s slave and mick and molly and other male submissives i ve known to this keep me rather in this cage and feed me sparingly if you dare anything that brings me closer to illness and the edge of death makes me more faithful it is only when you make me suffer that i feel safe and secure you should never have agreed to be a god for me if you were afraid to assume the duties of a god and we know that they are not as tender as all that you have already seen me cry now you must learn to relish my tears pauline réage which is from the woman who wrote story of o i don t remember it from story of o but it may have been there or maybe she wrote other stuff but that passage just gives me food for thought p s this is my 1010th post i meant to celebrate at 1 000 but forgot so this will have to do yay laughing comments 3 comments categories uncategorized kris keynote speech and q and a 6 mar at bluegrass leather pride after the classes i left so i didn t go to the end of the contest or the play party afterwards i did go to the brunch the next day with keynote speaker boi kris and i got to sit next to his domme lady elsa lady elsa is a soft spoken gentle domme at least with me who has a message that boi kris proclaims from the rooftops here is an excerpt from her writings on fetlife somewhere during the weekend we picked up the nickname the teacher and the preacher i teach i write educational materials for a living my savant power is explication i can take complex ideas and subjects break them down and explain them in writing so other people connect with them kris is the preacher his special gift is interpersonal expressing things to people verbally so that other people connect with them i give him a philosophy to preach he gives my philosophy a voice we re a pretty good team that way in his keynote speech kris says that he has internalized lady elsa s message her philosophy to the point that it has become his and he does a lovely job expounding on it someone was videotaping it and i had hoped that would show up on youtube and i d be able to link you to it but i can t find it but here is an interview with them lady elsa s message is about taking your relationship off road that the rules about d s relationships are not the point of the relationships that it s important to follow your own guide your own life mission they talk about spiritual service and that always resonates with me they talk about different ways to carry out the typical dynamics ways to avoid getting trapped in the stereotypes their bottom line message is be yourself for more information you can also read lady elsa s writings on fetlife here i thoroughly enjoyed talking to her at the brunch and hope we stay connected in the future with march being q and a month nilla asked me yesterday okay um most important ritual to you each day that would be a daily ritual not necessarily a morning or evening one but one which helps you feel complete sir and i are not real wrapped up in rituals but we do have a couple that have evolved between us first coffee i make his coffee every morning not just the pot but his cup he takes two sweet and lows and a splash of half and half and i prepare it carefully being mindful of what i m doing and take it to him then there s you know the tether he tethers me every night slipping the rope around my ankle usually my ankle and securing it so it doesn t get tighter or looser during the night most night i go to bed before he does so there is usually some touching and maybe some play as he tucks me in but the tether is for sure in the morning i usually get up before him like now as i write this he s not awake yet i carry the tether with me as i let the cats in or out fix my own coffee and blog or whatever when he gets up i ll prepare his coffee and then he ll untether me i didn t have the tether when we were in very far away and i missed it i m not always crazy about it when i m lugging it around behind me all 17 pounds of it but it s a powerful reminder of who i am it s good to be home in lots of ways don t forget march is q and a month i f you have questions for me ask away you can leave your question in a comment or email me at aisha hisservant gmail com comments 5 comments categories uncategorized the things that touched me 5 mar i won t do a minute by minute report on the classes and such at bluegrass leather but there are images that linger with me each prospective titleholder on the stage judges seated in a row to the side contestants front and center steven and kim running for bluegrass leather m s they both sound nervous to me just a bit voices a tad shaky kim is wearing a corset and it s about 10 degrees in the building ok not 10 degrees but it s chilly she could be shaking with cold but their words are clear and their handout is excellent they contrast abuse and bdsm in the way that we ve talked about so often in our blogs abuse is not negotiated bdsm is based on ssc or rack in an abusive relationship there is a lack of trust in a bdsm relationship there is trust the abuser does not care for consent in bdsm a submissive voluntarily serves the dominant they list 10 ways i won t reproduce them all here but the last is my favorite an abuser destroys the spirit of the victim bdsm builds the spirit of the submissive and the dominant isn t that maybe the most important difference i really want to talk more with them about their experience i hope they will be doing their presentation again sometime when i can be there but there are other images cooke slut was running for bluegrass leather pride ms i can still see her facing the judges answering their questions i don t know if she was nervous or not she s funny and endearing and that can mask nerves sometimes i don t know if her answers are good or not some of the questions are about leather history and tradition and my own knowledge is limited but she exudes sincerity her goal is to make the community a more welcoming place to help you feel good about being there and for sure she is outgoing and warm but her personal moment of glory is close to the end baking is cookie slut s talent hence the name and her earned leather is an apron which is so perfectly appropriate one of the judges asks her and of course i don t remember the exact question but something about what she would bake for them if she could and she says with a slight gasp of horror bake for you oh do you see what he s eating gesturing to the judges stand those are and her voice drips with disdain store bought cookies she shakes her head that wouldn t happen if it were up to me it s the perfect question for her partly because i guarantee you the sight of those store bought cookies had been weighing on her mind all along the last q and a session was with daddy jay who was running for bluegrass leather sir a bear of a man but more teddy bear seeming than wild and wooly although i m sure he s not a stranger to wild actually i don t know that it just sounded likely right anyhow standing alone in front of a panel of judges with an attentive audience watching is an intense experience all by itself i think but listening to daddy jay i sense a solid core of certainty not of pride or swagger not at all it feels it feels as if he is in touch with that deepest part of himself that part that is most centered the part that isn t thinking about whether or not the answer is right so much as whether or not it s genuine don t misunderstand me i think he knew his leather history and his answers to some questions that i didn t have a clue about rolled out as if they didn t require thought and i think that s just how it is with him for example i think there are leather heroes he looks up to and he doesn t have to think about who they are it s part of who he is my sense is that he has a deep personal commitment to being a dominant who leads with integrity and solid strength i gotta say i don t know him well enough to know if this is true right but those are my impressions that s how he comes across to me watching them reminds me of the things that i love about the leather community steven and kim s courage and hard psychological work cookie slut s warmth and desire to take care of people whether she s welcoming them to the community or making sure they aren t ingesting preservatives and disgustingly fake food and daddy jay who represents the desire to carry on a leather tradition of being more to each other than play partners i think i have more to say about this but good grief i m way behind schedule already for now i ll just give a nod to ms constance in thanks for making this experience possible and march is question and answer month in the blogosphere if you have any questions for me ask away if i don t know the answer i ll make something up just kidding comments 2 comments categories uncategorized kinky laughter yoga and more 4 mar i only got to go to one entire class at bluegrass leather pride but it was a great one boi kris who is a certified laughter yoga teacher led a variation of that he calls kinky laughter yoga it was delightful here s a link to a description of the class as he did it at the southwest leather contest there were about 6 of us participating this weekend and as you can imagine it was a blast when i was telling sir about it he laughed at me he didn t think laughter yoga was a real thing but it is as you can see here the kinky version was of course particularly fun we didn t actually do anything kinky or sexual we just used exercises that had some connection with the lifestyle it was great i laughed and laughed and felt good about life the other super cool thing from saturday was catching the end of master steven and slave kim s presentation on their m s dynamic while i missed most of it i got there just in time to hear them explaining about the impact of abuse in terms of triggers and issues with trust i was sorry i didn t get to see the whole thing but the part i saw really impressed me it was accurate and presented in a low key way despite the emotional content slave kim had been in an abusive relationship for many years so part of her relationship with her master involves healing from that experience i really admire the courage it took them particularly kim to step out in the public and share their experience i was a little anxious at a couple of the questions people asked them someone wanted to know how kim had gotten in the relationship in the first place and how she got out the answer to how did you get into an abusive relationship is generally complex and may be emotionally weighted but she did a nice job responding the other question was how will you keep this being in a an abusive relationship from happening again i wanted to say she can t no one can assure that they never end up in an abusive relationship again and thinking that you can is a trap only the partner the potential abuser can assure that it doesn t happen again she can watch for red flags watch for indications and she can get out when she realizes what s happening but she can t keep it from happening again kim fielded the question well though in part explaining that her trust for her master gives her certainty which i thought was well done and accurate i m hoping that i ll have an opportunity to hear their whole presentation at some point there s more to tell about the event particularly the sunday brunch but now i have a full work day ahead of me yay comments 11 comments categories uncategorized bluegrass leather pride 3 mar there was a good turn out for the event somewhere around 100 people registered those are not exact figures go read ms constance if you want exact i covered my class in yesterday s post along with apologies for not having the promised ...