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description=During the last few years, February has been a heavy hitter for me.  Let s review, shall we? February 8th, 2011: Due Date for last pregnancy February 10th, 2007: Met love of my life February 11th, 2010: Miscarriage #2 February 16th, 2011: First date with Tim February 20-something, 2008: Got engaged So, as you can see,…;

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Text of the page (random words):
oh february make up your mind bodega bliss search bodega bliss home about oh february make up your mind 2 feb during the last few years february has been a heavy hitter for me let s review shall we february 8th 2011 due date for last pregnancy february 10th 2007 met love of my life february 11th 2010 miscarriage 2 february 16th 2011 first date with tim february 20 something 2008 got engaged so as you can see i ve had a love hate relationship with this month for the last 4 years life changing events have all occurred or were supposed to occur during this month and this is the types of thing i m convinced can t be a coincidence so of course next week is already shaping up to be a bit intense on monday i have therapy tuesday is my due date for my last pregnancy and also when i should be ovulating go figure wednesday is another doctor s appointment to discuss my test results where i am bringing in literature of my own research to discuss this and thursday is not only the anniversary of when we met and friday is the anniversary of our miscarriage in addition to all of this and as a result of wednesday night tim and i are going out to dinner to honor the week that it is the dinner was my idea but he was into it instantly despite how he feels about anniversaries tim is okay acknowledging our anniversaries in the same way i am but with the rest of the stuff he wishes i wouldn t focus so much on the dates and he s not alone in this i ve also been told by friends that i should forget the dates as well and i totally get what they re saying and even think they re right but it s just not how i m wired especially with the baby stuff my therapist has offered a burial ritual of some kind for my next appointment one to honor the due date the following day and also to spiritually bury the last baby with the 2nd miscarriage we were actually able to bury our little one under a tree by where we had our california wedding but because i had a d c with the last pregnancy there was nothing to bury this could be a huge reason why this is taking me longer to grieve as i had no feeling of closure so this is where i need your help i can t think of anything to bury tim the botanist that he is had suggested a fruit of some sort as it s a ripened ovary and would be a good omen for the future i loved this idea except that it s in the middle of town and there are critters that would most likely dig it up so do you guys have any ideas i m really into the idea of the ritual but i m just stuck trying to think of something to bury you now might have a clue as to why last week was so hard on me and i just couldn t handle things i should have been able to handle this month was not only approaching it marked the year point of dealing with all of this actively anyway i don t know if i have it in me if there s another year coming share this print opens in new window print email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading related comments 7 comments categories doctor me me me me miscarriage tim installment 1 posts from the past fun with pictures 7 responses to oh february make up your mind mommyodyssey february 2 2011 at 1 36 pm do you have a piece of clothing that you wore when it happened that may be appropriate i totally get why this month is hard i know it s easier said than done but try to concentrate on the good things that happened my second due date is a couple of days before our one year wedding anniversary i chose to mourn at a different time and take that day only to celebrate time will tell if that works or not perhaps i can use you as my guinea pig ok that was a totally out of place joke either way here s a huge virtual hug and some imaginary chocolate to go along with it hugs reply bodegabliss february 2 2011 at 6 56 pm you can totally use me as your guinea pig i m happy to oblige reply slcurwin february 2 2011 at 4 51 pm i know some people like to plant a well a plant something you can grow as a memorial of course that s a little difficult if it s not at your place even anything that reminds you of that time and in reference to our chocolate when we were talking about it and i went to the freeze to get some and there was none there was a reason i didn t recall eating it i found the entire bar size of my head mind you here eaten with the wrapper tucked into the junk at my hubby s desk what a rat hubby looked at me with bug doe eyes sorry reply hope february 2 2011 at 6 55 pm i am so sorry that february is such a loaded month for you my experience has been that even when i don t remember the exact date i do remember the general time of year and the sadness drags through that whole time so even if you didn t remember the dates you would probably still be sad in february my thought of what to bury would be some kind of tiny doll maybe made of natural things like branches bar leaves etc not tasty things just natural i like the plant idea too hugs missing your babies with you and hoping this next year brings more joy than pain reply hope february 2 2011 at 6 56 pm that was supposed to say branches bark and leaves oops reply jjiraffe february 2 2011 at 10 38 pm the japanese have a tradition of jizo statues which is a way of honoring a miscarried child peggy orenstein wrote about this quite movingly in her book waiting for daisy it sounds like you have a good therapist hugs reply bodegabliss february 3 2011 at 8 44 am hm that s a great idea do you think i could find one someplace other than online and i really lucked out with my therapist thanks for the hugs reply leave a comment cancel reply δ search tweet tweet tweets by bodegabliss recent posts battle wounds she s here thinking of you transitioning to positive 28 weeks and blessed subscribe bodega bliss freshly delivered to your inbox email address sign me up rss posts tags anger august break belly bodily confusion clean food challenge community doctor dreams family fear 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