Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

-

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (922), and (309), that (205), was (146), for (126), but (110), his (109), this (92), with (88), you (75), all (75), had (72), about (61), from (59), baseball (58), when (56), time (55), have (55), year (54), one (54), out (52), into (52), back (52), card (46), first (40), not (40), there (39), who (39), more (39), some (38), been (38), him (37), even (37), just (35), they (35), what (34), like (33), than (32), years (32), rice (31), way (30), through (29), day (28), would (28), life (28), were (27), most (27), know (27), got (27), because (27), last (27), can (27), which (26), after (26), could (26), get (25), around (24), here (23), long (23), before (23), season (23), any (22), while (22), other (21), think (21), are (21), much (21), jim (21), guy (20), don (20), league (20), where (20), 2009 (19), your (19), might (19), down (19), really (19), off (18), comments (18), book (18), over (18), something (18), only (18), two (18), then (18), kind (18), never (18), game (18), josh (17), hall (17), their (17), being (17), will (17), cards (17), has (17), didn (17), little (17), ball (17), wilker (16), read (16), going (16), fantasy (16), went (16), also (16), brock (16), permalink (15), how (15), these (15), want (15), couple (15), those (15), make (15), bulling (15), second (14), few (14), right (14), come (14), see (14), van (14), thing (14), team (14), robinson (14), asheton (14), larry (14), henderson (14), cold (14), hardy (14), cardboard (13), did (13), favorite (13), things (13), books (13), ever (13), stooges (13), man (13), least (13), poppel (13), home (13), still (13), night (13), every (13), town (12), world (12), may (12), three (12), moment (12), such (12), new (12), old (12), ron (12), red (12), someone (12), games (12), very (12), play (12), mind (12), raines (12), connection (12), skaggs (12), good (11), during (11), guess (11), came (11), since (11), them (11), short (11), people (11), past (11), story (11), greatest (11), manning (11), said (11), well (11), lived (11), name (11), fame (11), leadoff (11), toaster (10), reggie (10), our (10), another (10), early (10), list (10), major (10), too (10), whole (10), era (10), days (10), thought (10), career (10), end (10), seemed (10), player (10), 1990 (10), 1978 (10), made (10), field (10), numbers (10), put (10), hamilton (10), biggio (10), rose (10), gods (9), thoughts (9), always (9), better (9), both (9), probably (9), great (9), own (9), iggy (9), called (9), question (9), kept (9), try (9), high (9), several (9), find (9), must (9), beyond (9), sox (9), turned (9), started (9), instead (9), subject (9), eventually (9), collins (9), ashburn (9), pitcher (8), actually (8), finally (8), sure (8), road (8), best (8), fact (8), coming (8), top (8), along (8), getting (8), line (8), somewhere (8), nothing (8), brunansky (8), kids (8), minor (8), average (8), runs (8), start (8), using (8), times (8), wanted (8), face (8), say (8), teams (8), spent (8), rickey (8), hitter (8), perhaps (8), hate (8), part (8), molitor (8), warm (8), sun (8), continued (8), lost (8), 2008 (7), take (7), already (7), why (7), maybe (7), lot (7), same (7), anyone (7), light (7), guys (7), each (7), following (7), now (7), future (7), seem (7), todd (7), among (7), become (7), seems (7), else (7), many (7), check (7), college (7), though (7), remember (7), rick (7), eckersley (7), wasn (7), earlier (7), next (7), trip (7), record (7), understand (7), place (7), afternoon (7), its (7), lee (7), against (7), brett (7), youth (7), whatever (7), terry (7), perry (7), mike (6), 1976 (6), turn (6), tim (6), writers (6), given (6), should (6), between (6), sports (6), pitch (6), above (6), reading (6), open (6), scroll (6), keep (6), stats (6), statistics (6), seasons (6), school (6), left (6), work (6), morning (6), either (6), tom (6), digest (6), able (6), players (6), hit (6), won (6), trying (6), size (6), dave (6), took (6), enough (6), saying (6), comes (6), money (6), far (6), house (6), according (6), lou (6), hitters (6), eyes (6), believe (6), points (6), ongoing (6), hosts (6), imagine (6), myself (6), radio (6), cabin (6), nowhere (6), jackson (5), leave (5), stood (5), pretty (5), consider (5), heard (5), stories (5), shown (5), doing (5), fan (5), song (5), without (5), middle (5), told (5), four (5), walking (5), majors (5), nine (5), point (5), lists (5), dream (5), talking (5), slugger (5), until (5), stands (5), kid (5), gave (5), half (5), she (5), cover (5), close (5), playing (5), named (5), land (5), single (5), anything (5), fucking (5), ten (5), let (5), below (5), asked (5), used (5), everyone (5), chance (5), drove (5), love (5), rbi (5), mistake (5), played (5), bat (5), golden (5), use (5), contest (5), added (5), thinking (5), pick (5), yesterday (5), microscope (5), post (5), show (5), ceiling (5), park (5), base (5), move (5), item (5), george (5), cheap (5), wood (5), wind (5), almost (5), couldn (5), travel (5), knows (5), sven (5), search (4), bad (4), away (4), voice (4), mentioned (4), series (4), smoke (4), behind (4), looking (4), exactly (4), fiction (4), hadn (4), loved (4), working (4), region (4), site (4), personal (4), version (4), distant (4), analysis (4), making (4), album (4), history (4), music (4), category (4), complete (4), 1970s (4), speaking (4), ago (4), stack (4), add (4), staring (4), doesn (4), fall (4), standing (4), hands (4), 1995 (4), none (4), somehow (4), key (4), alone (4), apartment (4), dusk (4), aftermath (4), collection (4), recent (4), constantly (4), writing (4), names (4), sent (4), store (4), professional (4), traded (4), oakland (4), hoping (4), return (4), accurate (4), near (4), american (4), east (4), apparently (4), having (4), reason (4), rookie (4), 1975 (4), spectacular (4), possible (4), anywhere (4), calling (4), call (4), wall (4), room (4), passage (4), stooge (4), found (4), especially (4), fine (4), himself (4), white (4), self (4), picture (4), stiff (4), once (4), toward (4), star (4), fellow (4), weren (4), walk (4), idea (4), wrong (4), isn (4), mistakes (4), wanders (4), cars (4), later (4), process (4), nagging (4), upon (4), air (4), appeared (4), statistical (4), bill (4), facts (4), versus (4), update (4), result (4), conversation (4), chicago (4), worse (4), course (4), worst (4), tried (4), spend (4), obp (4), tough (4), stolen (4), leagues (4), checked (4), yet (4), city (4), reality (4), words (4), late (4), onto (4), winter (4), hostel (4), article (4), crowd (4), together (4), instantly (4), uniform (4), god (4), became (4), path (4), frankfurt (4), airport (4), moments (4), journeyman (4), implies (4), lodi (4), win (4), chapter (4), ema (4), schwerin (4), ken (4), 2007 (3), news (3), dodger (3), job (3), moving (3), final (3), frozen (3), born (3), readers (3), wants (3), connect (3), page (3), discovery (3), mostly (3), hand (3), holding (3), enjoyed (3), concert (3), mention (3), classic (3), aged (3), addled (3), favorites (3), real (3), pass (3), hearing (3), done (3), library (3), uncomplicated (3), across (3), hope (3), upward (3), today (3), front (3), amazing (3), gold (3), ended (3), 2000 (3), level (3), dominant (3), quite (3), likely (3), throw (3), power (3), drink (3), eight (3), loaded (3), buy (3), hot (3), office (3), corner (3), noticed (3), offering (3), familiar (3), excitement (3), joy (3), stuff (3), wife (3), wrapped (3), 1994 (3), basketball (3), certain (3), supposed (3), heads (3), dennis (3), fans (3), moved (3), winning (3), 1979 (3), considering (3), basement (3), 1977 (3), indians (3), decided (3), owned (3), unfortunately (3), debut (3), lynn (3), run (3), straight (3), hear (3), leading (3), guitar (3), fire (3), realized (3), total (3), pack (3), plane (3), seen (3), drive (3), dangerous (3), gotten (3), credit (3), showed (3), buildings (3), living (3), please (3), kill (3), met (3), helped (3), walls (3), miles (3), rest (3), death (3), easy (3), huge (3), losing (3), tennis (3), superstar (3), bases (3), country (3), big (3), rare (3), matter (3), highway (3), finding (3), known (3), yes (3), wearing (3), feared (3), vote (3), aura (3), closest (3), pitchers (3), merely (3), boy (3), foul (3), wrote (3), stand (3), ground (3), month (3), famer (3), tears (3), true (3), wisps (3), traces (3), voices (3), james (3), ranked (3), case (3), childhood (3), throughout (3), attitude (3), number (3), actual (3), macdonald (3), punch (3), toiled (3), listening (3), needed (3), remainder (3), low (3), jackie (3), gets (3), wide (3), checklist (3), caught (3), greats (3), further (3), greatness (3), mark (3), quick (3), camp (3), occurred (3), sunny (3), delaney (3), fantasies (3), fuck (3), stove (3), blue (3), tousled (3), locks (3), unraveling (3), vermont (3), germany (3), full (3), longer (3), bills (3), america (3), backpack (3), soon (3), body (3), figured (3), minutes (3), shape (3), experienced (3), car (3), plastic (3), windows (3), wool (3), hat (3), head (3), discovered (3), everything (3), green (3), tell (3), hard (3), feels (3), walked (3), galicia (3), shanghai (3), catch (3), 300th (3), felt (3), blog (3), significant (3), particularly (3), mean (3), 1974 (3), surrounded (3), dismantles (3), com (2), author (2), archives (2), web (2), google (2), screen (2), blogs (2), bit (2), outside (2), cheers (2), offer (2), fade (2), black (2), unplugged (2), stew (2), reads (2), anyway (2), wrap (2), wider (2), deeper (2), current (2), meaning (2), waking (2), hours (2), feeling (2), outs (2), novels (2), ones (2), ability (2), pull (2), worlds (2), sounds (2), example (2), secret (2), sad (2), somewhat (2), novel (2), setting (2), honorable (2), interested (2), window (2), hornby (2), obvious (2), connections (2), ticket (2), different (2), glutted (2), shed (2), giving (2), belief (2), completely (2), dylan (2), biography (2), pop (2), perfectly (2), bleed (2), oral (2), goes (2), jay (2), hilarious (2), harry (2), towns (2), allen (2), again (2), basically (2), highlights (2), brief (2), titles (2), waiting (2), suggestions (2), pile (2), habit (2), spring (2), passed (2), brain (2), forget (2), happen (2), boils (2), distance (2), lines (2), strange (2), prelude (2), failure (2), disappointment (2), regret (2), decisions (2), six (2), sign (2), tempted (2), special (2), focus (2), photo (2), figure (2), tall (2), gazing (2), shows (2), pros (2), generally (2), standard (2), lasting (2), strong (2), reliever (2), supremely (2), competitive (2), 1991 (2), myth (2), doubt (2), image (2), mowing (2), scattering (2), element (2), gifts (2), pitches (2), mere (2), radar (2), continue (2), unhittable (2), makes (2), mythic (2), prospect (2), mound (2), fingers (2), touch (2), grab (2), newspaper (2), dollar (2), beer (2), flights (2), shared (2), street (2), hell (2), memory (2), prospects (2), gone (2), lifetime (2), young (2), explosion (2), available (2), noise (2), talented (2), unsaid (2), policy (2), gift (2), exception (2), collected (2), neither (2), nor (2), farther (2), mysterious (2), glaring (2), stop (2), useful (2), givers (2), aunt (2), bought (2), strike (2), 1987 (2), plus (2), society (2), reveals (2), heart (2), happy (2), thanks (2), machine (2), june (2), dan (2), leaguers (2), bodies (2), bullpen (2), hey (2), cast (2), finished (2), quiet (2), hitting (2), teammate (2), fearing (2), lay (2), disappointing (2), fielding (2), fred (2), glove (2), visions (2), 300 (2), exciting (2), ballplayer (2), manager (2), issue (2), live (2), extreme (2), viewer (2), fear (2), less (2), stage (2), townshend (2), twelve (2), experience (2), cheering (2), somebody (2), piece (2), burning (2), driven (2), suggests (2), vision (2), band (2), york (2), signed (2), watch (2), hotel (2), hour (2), cool (2), tired (2), sleep (2), tied (2), rope (2), waist (2), wake (2), pulling (2), passages (2), edge (2), alive (2), chris (2), speech (2), improved (2), thank (2), party (2), mail (2), letter (2), send (2), postage (2), painted (2), plastered (2), wish (2), yeah (2), doomed (2), lamont (2), perused (2), drinks (2), dead (2), punk (2), rock (2), paul (2), grown (2), slow (2), arrival (2), yellow (2), glow (2), batter (2), dark (2), graves (2), link (2), fallen (2), interview (2), expression (2), assume (2), happened (2), pieces (2), clothing (2), thick (2), barely (2), need (2), proofreader (2), sometimes (2), phenomenon (2), chest (2), saw (2), her (2), crash (2), involving (2), revolving (2), lights (2), rather (2), 195 (2), asleep (2), effort (2), telling (2), thus (2), entry (2), functionary (2), birders (2), stared (2), binoculars (2), silence (2), grins (2), remain (2), faces (2), eye (2), shattering (2), blow (2), knowledge (2), includes (2), studying (2), suddenly (2), 1973 (2), hank (2), choices (2), smith (2), jimmy (2), roof (2), anymore (2), plate (2), announcement (2), inductees (2), induction (2), boston (2), globe (2), language (2), danger (2), snapped (2), free (2), talk (2), trace (2), batting (2), april (2), revealed (2), poll (2), magazine (2), primarily (2), set (2), often (2), candidacy (2), support (2), lack (2), whether (2), caustic (2), illustrated (2), break (2), claims (2), claim (2), certainly (2), lie (2), awake (2), verging (2), wonder (2), west (2), clock (2), becomes (2), public (2), imagination (2), argument (2), thoughtful (2), recently (2), stretch (2), chorus (2), joe (2), rob (2), historical (2), solid (2), view (2), inside (2), confrontational (2), manner (2), consulted (2), magnifying (2), glass (2), unlike (2), men (2), note (2), floor (2), small (2), glowing (2), hero (2), coursing (2), hits (2), wondering (2), masturbate (2), scene (2), duct (2), tape (2), give (2), platform (2), column (2), ant (2), general (2), dibble (2), jody (2), comparison (2), hated (2), pointed (2), higher (2), benefited (2), waldman (2), hold (2), desire (2), anger (2), score (2), reputation (2), billy (2), relatively (2), eddie (2), argue (2), benefit (2), including (2), craig (2), scored (2), exercise (2), items (2), stealing (2), relentless (2), bells (2), morgan (2), suited (2), related (2), towers (2), stealer (2), election (2), status (2), perception (2), ranking (2), spectacularly (2), bright (2), spotlight (2), achievement (2), arms (2), voters (2), wins (2), brave (2), eroding (2), enduring (2), covered (2), pretend (2), narrative (2), gain (2), under (2), burghoff (2), roarke (2), richard (2), drenched (2), island (2), illinois (2), grateful (2), moaning (2), feel (2), sound (2), shield (2), lighting (2), center (2), bank (2), pay (2), exit (2), basking (2), europe (2), essen (2), months (2), train (2), cologne (2), roll (2), imagined (2), stars (2), colder (2), enjoyable (2), held (2), slot (2), meant (2), pre (2), january (2), dissolved (2), task (2), stopped (2), snap (2), beginning (2), heat (2), vague (2), cringing (2), chilly (2), poor (2), underwear (2), pairs (2), socks (2), shirts (2), sweater (2), haven (2), scarf (2), blanket (2), video (2), reported (2), five (2), stance (2), woods (2), berlin (2), vanished (2), central (2), european (2), grandparents (2), speak (2), plan (2), landed (2), dreams (2), doctored (2), knew (2), girlfriend (2), empty (2), seats (2), flight (2), hazy (2), movement (2), stranded (2), stayed (2), lowest (2), perfect (2), gray (2), diving (2), bench (2), dropped (2), 1981 (2), mariners (2), gaylord (2), anecdote (2), entire (2), ben (2), gay (2), greaseball (2), resort (2), seeping (2), playoffs (2), fenway (2), herald (2), tribune (2), heidelberg (2), combines (2), potatoes (2), dirt (2), large (2), questions (2), brewers (2), scott (2), previous (2), foreign (2), students (2), person (2), student (2), disguise (2), mattered (2), aside (2), otherwise (2), fewer (2), anonymous (2), holy (2), hum (2), padres (2), hiccup (2), notebook (2), blurred (2), ready (2), grim (2), cracked (2), sky (2), russian (2), landscape (2), starve (2), driver (2), baltimore (2), communal (2), entries (2), unit (2), measurement (2), farewell (2), partly (2), straw (2), stirred (2), benefits (2), bloggers (2), lowlights, miscellany, email, jawilker68, yahoo, 2006, aesthetics, tin, ear, jam, western, homes, movin, bronx, banter, state, rants, dump, tickets, altitude, griddle, official, juice, humbug, cub, disassembled, scraps, fairpole, catfish, toast, february, mathematically, eliminated, denis, johnson, length, usa, tree, connected, bouncing, knapsack, shout, yanked, escapism, escape, cormac, mccarthy, horrifically, convincing, gaze, apocalypse, netherland, yiddish, policeman, union, salute, australian, writer, winton, silly, interconnected, class, desolate, coastal, australia, age, breath, turning, mentions, seeing, appreciations, type, sidebar, soccer, nick, tracing, perpetually, haunted, conviction, sidelines, worthless, fever, others, timed, finishing, diverge, briefly, daily, rituals, bio, townes, zandt, 1980s, replacements, bruce, freidman, dip, 1960s, selection, adrift, coke, stages, decade, publication, qualify, altogether, previously, published, important, personally, direct, honest, wilder, ginsberg, reaction, dewy, revisit, jack, kerouac, original, revisitation, keeping, breaks, groups, rereading, annoying, slump, false, celebrant, track, surely, forgotten, blur, sleeping, television, miscellaneous, activities, engage, likewise, minefield, anxiety, discouragement, stride, mountain, scale, batters, preceding, soulful, happiness, normal, omission, dwell, humiliation, dropping, states, text, capped, 1993, victories, subtle, trend, withering, comparisons, limit, slim, shaped, squares, calendar, simplified, depth, hips, sternly, revealing, promise, cruelly, busts, mysteriously, struggles, cubs, 2001, logged, highest, profession, spanning, 2004, legend, offers, illusion, obliteration, myths, rise, observer, discount, outrageous, byproduct, lesser, competition, schoolers, family, members, aluminum, bleachers, transfer, easily, roaring, stadium, measured, velocity, schooler, guns, circuit, orgasmically, powerful, eat, futon, begin, shower, oatmeal, rerun, charles, charge, depending, packages, discarded, heinous, residue, mac, cheese, cheapest, dogs, carry, goods, narrow, railroad, brother, wolf, chemical, feast, guzzle, entered, newspapers, plucked, garbage, cans, graveyard, shift, ups, warehouse, kitchen, hyped, similar, ambiguous, ascension, david, clyde, information, internet, dulled, impact, debuted, witness, obsession, prompted, rigid, closed, additions, child, lesson, learn, fill, latest, newer, dwelled, kittle, juan, berenguer, singing, remove, hilarity, shiver, gaps, torn, bus, buried, mud, pleasure, cellophane, stacks, fouled, carlos, rodriguez, football, common, purest, getters, crazed, constant, rhythm, riddles, modern, hungry, began, aforementioned, perusing, john, rosenfelder, online, earbender, drawing, rohn, deal, replacing, proceeded, promising, correctly, haunting, edged, 263, slid, 259, portrait, talents, produce, 257, ultimately, stumbled, 227, clubhouse, dissension, affair, trade, evaluated, ahead, despite, campaign, acreage, 285, centerfield, earned, award, mvp, upped, 292, doubled, output, spangled, steals, double, digit, frank, potential, unlimited, realize, does, congeal, happening, melancholy, unable, look, grilling, hasn, tris, speaker, mickey, rivers, lucky, luckier, courage, follow, followed, evidenced, clip, reunited, cavern, muscled, feet, smashing, string, rickenbacker, definitely, wanna, pandemonium, dog, scrambling, dive, onstage, swing, audience, animal, noises, howling, primitive, starving, animals, eaten, week, throws, meat, afraid, fun, mesmerizing, ship, sinking, crush, nuts, extremes, unleashed, madman, wandering, aimlessly, pupils, nickels, describing, existed, bassist, alexander, england, uncharted, territory, explore, elektra, stp, songs, riffs, doll, jac, holzman, material, wrist, led, wow, revisited, funny, touching, bandmates, stony, apathy, drug, leader, dabbled, involuntary, hobby, nodding, swimming, pool, worked, backwards, positioning, chaotic, situations, valuable, chaos, strokes, hardly, wound, notice, leaving, doctor, spending, 441, moe, business, curly, licked, addressed, envelopes, form, paid, decorate, cinder, block, draw, drawings, sit, swap, tales, cigarettes, smells, cigarette, los, angeles, addiction, lurching, tortured, perversely, majestic, destruction, granddaughter, introduced, cramped, motion, ann, arbor, michigan, ways, creators, trynka, 1948, dozen, beautiful, breaking, opportunity, bored, rarely, group, soft, beaten, dimming, floating, flaring, sizzling, shooting, arc, deep, outfield, granite, stubs, slabs, border, looked, cheerful, chattering, slaloming, fearlessly, droned, shutting, legendary, bass, pays, tribute, idol, bandmate, watt, backs, slugfest, runners, whirling, giddy, doubles, triples, fourteen, rbis, fifteen, judging, safe, summer, stay, overnight, friend, steps, bunch, gathering, grassy, cemetary, formed, diamond, laid, rocks, choice, thocking, fuzzy, reaches, farthest, clouts, bounding, newest, rows, yourself, coating, bubble, tips, sake, continuing, function, entertain, info, source, magical, means, slip, certainties, human, inspecting, airplane, checking, ray, speeding, crushed, juke, box, crumpled, intertwined, awful, metallic, conga, sirens, unfathomable, identify, typo, envision, topps, temp, concentrating, glazed, donut, thudding, typewriter, rationalizing, assed, wouldn, care, canned, parenting, mediocrities, quality, assurance, lord, remark, patriotic, icon, perched, branch, lowered, investigate, greeting, exclamation, joking, shaky, contact, subtly, sanity, sudden, conscious, absence, champ, spare, birdwatching, birds, birdcalls, bird, bald, eagle, houston, astros, produced, gehrig, hack, wilson, greenberg

Text of the page (random words):
ed in triumph it seemed significant the start of a story the story this is the year i said i had tears in my eyes to be continued permalink comments 18 terry bulling 2009 01 22 08 26 by josh wilker somewhere i lost connection chapter one this was terry bulling s first baseball card and it probably seemed for quite a while as if it would be his last since he dropped back out of the majors for several years after his short stint in the show in 1977 but he resurfaced in 1981 with the mariners and in 1982 caught gaylord perry s 300th win in the blog of cheating in baseball expert derek zumsteg bulling is featured prominently in an anecdote that if accurate sheds further light on the extent of bulling s famed battery mate s desire to gain a competitive edge according to the anecdote bulling reported that gaylord coats his entire body with ben gay before the game and when he sweats during the game his entire uniform becomes a big greaseball he can touch any part of his uniform to throw a greaseball the umpires can check him all they want but ben gay isn t illegal and there s nothing they can do about it i imagine that terry bulling or bud bulling as he was apparently more commonly known was the perfect guy to catch perry s 300th win for one thing he seems to have felt at worst neutral and more likely even a little amused by perry s unorthodox methods also as a little known journeyman he presumably didn t have the authority to impose any kind of a plan on the game having to defer to the slippery gray foul smelling eminence on the mound according to the sports illustrated article about perry s 300th win the pitcher shook off bulling s signals constantly something that i imagine was done by perry more than anything to add even more ambiguity to his pre pitch ritual stew of tics and shrugs and scratching and licking and rubbing thus further crawling into the mind of the batter who was already jittery over the prospect of loaded pitches dipping and diving in all directions but i can t see perry constantly denying the choices of say carlton fisk or johnny bench if he did they d eventually come out and slug him or at least try to i m not sure happens when you try to punch a guy covered in slime but bulling just went with the flow the perfect receiver for perry s unpredictable junk who better to roll with whatever comes his way than a journeyman a journeyman knows you re never anywhere very long and even if you try to imagine something connecting one fleeting moment to the next the only path you ll be able to trace will be irrational spasmodic inane the ungodly flight of a doctored pitch furthermore a journeyman knows that even when you stand still you re part of a greater unstoppable movement this phenomenon underscores the creedence song lodi one of my favorites in which the singer laments the disintegration of his dreams while stranded in a nowhere town i thought of that song when i perused the back of this terry bulling card bulling spent his first three years after college in one minor league town something i don t think i ve seen on any other card he didn t even split a season and spend some time elsewhere just stayed in a place abbreviated on the back of this card as wisc rapids it s a place name that implies swift movement yet there bulling stayed year after year on the lowest rung and at a time in his young life when years must have seemed long instead of the quick blurs they become as you get older those are hard years the first years after school they were for me anyway there certainly weren t any major or minor league teams of any kind literal or figurative knocking on my door i had no skills no connections not even much ambition beyond a hazy collection of vague ridiculous impossible hallucinations about a future involving writing some shattering moment of lasting spiritual enlightenment rooms full of people cheering for me and fucking my first year out of college was going to be spent in shanghai teaching english but then i got a rice paper letter from my girlfriend over there saying that she d met somebody else so i spent the money i d saved up for my ticket to china on a trip to europe i tried to do the trip as cheaply as possible so i could make it last the first step in that strategy was to use a service that got you onto random flights that had empty seats you couldn t pick the city you wanted to go to just a general region then you d go to the airport and hang around until they could shove you onto an unpopular flight this was just after the berlin wall came down so i had a sketchy idea that i d eventually make my way beyond the vanished cold war divider to the central european region my paternal grandparents fled from in the early 1900s galicia the closest i could get using my mode of cheap air travel was frankfurt germany i didn t know anyone there or speak the language or have any plan on where i was going to spend the night the plane landed in the early morning and as i was walking down an airport hallway after exiting the plane my transcontinental daze slowly gave way to a mixture of terror and self hatred i was about to start punching myself in the head as inconspicuously as possible but then in one of those rare times when the absurd illogic of dreams spills over into waking life one of those moments when you can almost see the gleam of some beyond law substance on the doctored pitch of your life i ran right into someone i knew to be continued love versus hate update terry bulling s back of the card play ball result has been added to the ongoing contest permalink comments 10 bill russell 2009 01 20 06 07 by josh wilker how tough are you me i m not so tough the tough way get on the field assume the proper crapping in the woods crouch grimace a little if you want to like dirty harry say in your mind hit it to me if the ball takes a bad hop and thumps your chest or clips your jaw or drills you in the stones pick it up and make the play spit and punch your glove extra points for spitting a tooth later at night sleep deeply my way imagine before even taking the field all the bad hops a ball could make take the field tentatively pray the ball is hit to someone else later at night stare at the ceiling wide awake and cringing with regret of course i am speaking metaphorically since i haven t been called on to field an actual grounder for decades what have i been doing instead nothing much some writing that s the supposed focus of each day and has been for a long time but in fact most days i fail to take the correct stance the stance that will put me in the path of whatever is hit my way one way or another even if it causes me pain instead i move out of the path of the ball and stab at it if it gets by me well whatever there s always tomorrow permalink comments 27 george brett 1978 2009 01 16 07 16 by josh wilker reality 1 it is fucking cold here in chicago illinois twelve degrees below zero as of this moment i haven t been outside since yesterday when i put on two pairs of socks long underwear my thickest pair of jeans three shirts and a sweater a parka hiking boots gloves two wool hats and a scarf the size of a blanket and walked a few blocks to slide the dvd of pineapple express through the return slot at the video store the digital bank clock by the video store reported that it was minus five the walk there wasn t so bad but on the way back i was walking against a stiff wind which i swore at through my unraveling scarf blanket as the few inches of exposed skin on my face became increasingly painful but worse really is the oppressive monotony of being inside all the time especially in an apartment with very poor insulation i m in the apartment s office right now which is above the unheated stairwell the wood floor feels like chilled metal and cold air pushes through the two windows i m wearing a wool hat long underwear flannel pants two pairs of socks slippers two shirts a sweatshirt a sweater and a gortex vest and i m still chilly especially in my hands which i have to rub and blow on pretty constantly like bob cratchit the heat comes on every couple minutes producing images of cartoon dollar bills flying from my wallet our heating bills are going to put us into the poor house which is probably even more poorly insulated or worse we ll be out on the street my god i m glad i ve got a roof over my head during times like these fantasy 1 but i wish i was in a place as warm and sunny as the one on this 1978 baseball card of george brett of course it s hard to know for sure that it s warm wherever brett was when the picture was snapped but it is inarguably sunny and he is without a hat and doesn t seem to be cringing against a stiff wind or wearing anything thicker than the thin blue polyester royals uniform designed for the brutally hot kansas city summers i guess you could argue that some manner of wind is blowing brett s tousled golden locks but i really think it must be more of a gentle spring breeze than a stiff chilly gust so that s where i want to be bathed in sunlight the sounds of the game echoing across the warm green fields i think what i d do is lean back and close my eyes and angle my face right up at the sun and just listen reality 2 the worst cold snap i experienced occurred in vermont in january 2000 the year i lived in a cabin with no electricity i went to visit my aunt and uncle near the beginning of the cold snap and couldn t leave for a couple days during the worst of it because my car refused to start finally it coughed to life one morning when the temperature rose from instantly crippling cold to merely really really cold and i drove back to my cabin first stopping at a k mart to buy thick opaque sheets of plastic to put up over my windows and another wool hat to add to the bulky collection on my head when i got back to the cabin i discovered that everything i owned had frozen solid including things that i didn t know could freeze such as toothpaste i got a sputtering fire going in the little wood stove using the shitty green wood that the owner of the cabin a tense hippie with a reputation for fucking people over had sold me then i inexpertly plastered the plastic all over the windows using duct tape i spent the remainder of the winter huddled over the wood stove practically hugging it because it never generated enough heat to warm up the whole cabin i couldn t really see anything through the plastic but i had a vague idea of whether it was night or day and i could tell by the wind rattling the birches and moaning through pines that it was cold out there the kind of cold that would seem almost predatory if it weren t so completely indifferent fantasy 2 i was ostensibly working as a teacher during that era but by january 2000 my course load as an adjunct professor had dissolved to next to nothing my only task being the sporadic tutoring in essay writing of a vietnam vet with severe post traumatic stress disorder who eventually stopped showing up for our meetings but i still went onto campus every couple of days to the office i shared with several other adjuncts so that i could check the progress of my fantasy basketball team it gave at least the tiniest shred of a shape to a life that had become almost utterly shapeless i guess my life has more of a shape now but i still start every day with a check of my fantasy team or teams right now all i ve got going is a basketball squad in second place in a thirteen team league but i think i did see some article just this morning on my way to check on my roster about b j upton s prospective slot in upcoming fantasy baseball drafts i was excited by this because this meant it is almost time for me to put together a pre draft ranking list which always proves to be an enjoyable way to kill some time i m not really sure why i find such things enjoyable i do know that ever since i was a boy i ve tried to dream my way out of my life and into a fantasy life revolving around sports especially baseball in 1978 the year i first held this sun drenched george brett card in my hand i was well into a childhood consumed with imaginary baseball related games around the house games in which i would become someone else or actually whole worlds of someone elses i d be every player on both teams and the crowd and the announcers too at the moment of victory i d pitch to my knees in the back yard holding a whiffle ball bat or tennis ball or whatever else i d been using and imagine i was the victorious long suffering star finally basking in the warm light of winning and i d pretend to cry reality 3 but the coldest i ve ever been was not here in chicago or in vermont but one night while i was drifting randomly around europe the year after i finished college i had been in essen germany lazing around a youth hostel while i waited for the grateful dead to arrive in town for a concert unfortunately the day before the concert i was told i had to leave the hostel because it had been reserved months before to house several teams of acrobatic teenagers from all around the globe coming to essen to compete in an international youth trampolining contest evicted i took a train to cologne arriving in the late afternoon both of the youth hostels i tried in cologne were full i guess i could have shelled out for a room in a hotel but i don t think i even considered that i didn t have much money and more importantly i was obsessed with the idea that my money equaled time as in the longer i could keep my little roll of bills alive the longer i could delay my return to the utter blank of my post college life in america so i went down to a park along the river with my backpack though it was november i didn t think it was that cold at least while the sun was still above the old world steeple marked skyline i think i even imagined it might be peaceful a night out under the stars but as the night went on it got colder and colder pretty soon into it i had emptied my backpack of every last article of clothing i owned and wrapped it around my shivering body i figured if i could fall asleep i could make the night go by faster but i was never able to even so much as fall into a shallow ditch of unconsciousness for more than a couple minutes at which point i d wake up trembling and have to get up and do jumping jacks and wind sprints i also whooped and hollered as if by using my voice i could somehow push back against a world that kept telling me i had to move fantasy 3 if i had lived a certain kind of life maybe by now i would have enough money in the bank to get the hell out of town when it gets really fucking cold perhaps i could even go to fantasy camp this is where middle aged dudes pay a bundle to exit the winter and play baseball in the warm sun against each other and against some of the major leaguers who showed up on the baseball cards and in the fantasies of the campers back when they were basking in the summertime glow of youth i hope it doesn t sound like i m mocking such a thing because ...