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baseball toaster humbug journal help my final take it or leave it offer 2009 02 02 20 45 by score bard because i m retaining scott boras i ll hold out and not join the chorus with new homes online if you want me to sign bid a mil and a golden thesaurus permalink comments 4 offseason clerihews 2008 12 23 11 52 by ember nickel a j burnett cannot yet rescue the yankees from third place finishes emulating the carpathia so they also signed cc sabathia mark teixeira may or may not know where the next season will see him play but at any rate won t say rafael furcal didn t know at all before signing with the dodgers board in a manner which was entirely above the board dinesh patel and rinku singh will attempt to bring strength to the pittsburgh rotation which could probably have been upgraded with people from just about any nation eri yoshida makes me need a better rhyme scheme permalink comments 4 kerry wood moves on 2008 11 15 05 22 by ember nickel once i began there was no turning back each day i d leave the school and walk outside to a portable a classroom sized shack where the fourth graders learned to long divide that summer i saw numbers every day in the newspaper my love for them led me to the game that made them through its play and i became a fan each update read there were falls when i rose before the sun stargazing i would catch the high school s bus to go to math class in its hour one then descend to the middling like us we placed our trust within the phenom of that season and the phenom of the year that i met baseball and gave it my love it wasn t enough though we made it near i ran out of math classes as i should have known drive to a college stay and take a less challenging course at times it would be frustrating it was for the sake of who i used to be however does that child s chance at being challenged count more than my ease today i think it was the right choice by some undefined amount when the dust cleared i never felt remorse though i avoided say applied ballistics i didn t sign up for the hardest course but i think of home runs hearing statistics to love and lose or not i ll never know but leave loss to those old enough for truth and let love go to whom it needs to go the complex minded prodigies of youth permalink no comments post season 2008 11 05 17 12 by ember nickel how would it feel to fall if you could fit within a raindrop it s a long way down on such a scale but when at last you hit the street you just explode into the town another season came and went they stop and go each year but never quite this way another champion comes out on top when we return to the last field of play the rain will soon give way to winter s snow reality will storm our bubble will be distant but what comes and stops will go and go again the seasons rotate still each bringing some dramatics no one knew would happen every year with something new permalink comments 3 rays in seven 2008 10 20 17 14 by ember nickel all teams know comebacks some know comebacks well those that know them best know it s hard to tell what kind of comeback any game is till its series ends as every series will because not every comeback is the same a miracle game is merely one day s compilation of improbable plays some games stand alone set against defeat where bitter and sweet connect and produce forgotten innings just there to reduce to the final moments a mob a scream and a star crossed team a desperate wave halfway between the walk off heroes stave elimination off a game or four their feats make us roar but make us forget the championship s not decided yet of course sometimes reality s unreal the rallies that feel too strange to be true take place game by game not often they do just enough however we don t discount even an amount of games that seems high not when old records so frequently fly out of the park not with this team to see what one game will be a week down the line isn t a skill i think of as mine so of game five i had nothing to say not until today but in game six though i made my prediction how it would all go permalink no comments humbug tv programming note 2008 10 07 07 33 by dianagramr a friend of mine from my tournament scrabble scene zack hample also happens to be the fellow who caught homerun balls at yankee stadium on consecutive days last month as well as the last mets homer at shea stadium zack has snagged 3 816 baseballs at 44 different ballparks and is now getting a lot of national attention his highlights have been shown on sportscenter and tomorrow night he s scheduled to appear on the tonight show with jay leno he s a pretty cool guy so check him out permalink comments 1 playoff preview of the grass at each stadium 2008 10 01 19 05 by dianagramr yes even the mowing patterns of the grass at each stadium gets examined prior to the playoffs as detailed in this new york times article as an example here s the lowdown on fenway park and their director of grounds david mellor mellor planned a relatively sedate backdrop to start the playoffs with large squares and triangles and none of his well known hose drawn flourishes like a capital b or the two socks red sox logo but if boston advances stay tuned here is a highlight from another article featuring mellor such designs adorn and distinguish nearly every major league ballpark these days but no one takes as keen an interest in mowing patterns as mellor he has written a book on the subject picture perfect mowing techniques for lawns landscapes and sports and is generally considered the top grass cutting artist in the game high school geometry classes visit him at fenway park to study ways that an odd shaped field can be divided and subdivided by straight lines and sharp angles i m not looking for more work mellor said on a recent afternoon at fenway park but the grass has to be mowed anyway so why not do it well with straight lines or checkerboards or something more festive mellor 45 gets most of the credit from his groundskeeping cohorts for kick starting the trend and forcing countless fans arriving at parks and tuning in to television to wonder how do they do that permalink no comments twins white sox playoff 2008 09 30 23 23 by ember nickel again the season stretches into this the gap between the summer and the fall narrows at last the space between the wall our backs were up against was an abyss now desperation blurs to hit or miss the days and weeks and months we fought are all being wiped out by one flight of the ball some fates can be sealed only by death s kiss the season didn t want to go away either and when the game was tied it seemed it might well do so however last stands will come to all of those who come to play just like the game itself but we too dreamed and diving held the season in our hands permalink comments 1 what is it about the orioles and the latter portion of the season 2008 09 29 13 06 by dianagramr you may recall a post from last year which detailed the seemingly annual migration of the orioles to the bottom rungs of the american league east well they did it again this year on the morning of august 18th the orioles sat at 60 63 in last place but only 3 5 games behind the blue jays and 15 games out of first from that point forward they went 7 30 and won a game that had been suspended from earlier in the year this year s collapse rivaled the historic 4 32 finish of 2002 collapse before after year date w l pct w l pct 2008 8 18 2008 60 63 488 7 30 189 2007 7 28 2007 49 54 476 20 39 339 2006 7 17 2006 44 51 463 26 41 388 2005 6 22 2005 42 28 600 29 58 333 2004 6 1 2004 24 23 511 54 61 470 2003 6 2 2003 28 27 509 43 64 402 2002 8 24 2002 63 63 500 4 32 111 2001 5 28 2001 24 24 500 39 74 345 totals 334 333 501 222 399 357 and it was a total team effort too pitching w l g sv ip h r er bb so hr era ba obp slg ops sb cs h 9 k 9 bb 9 before 61 63 124 34 1104 2 1155 628 588 512 711 138 4 79 271 353 419 772 99 30 9 4 5 8 4 2 after 7 30 37 1 317 1 383 241 222 175 211 46 6 30 298 386 487 873 31 3 10 9 6 0 5 0 offense g w l ab r h 2b 3b hr rbi bb so gdp sb cs ba obp slg ops runs g before 124 61 63 4325 635 1176 259 27 143 608 420 762 89 62 33 272 339 443 782 5 12 after 37 7 30 1234 147 310 63 3 29 142 113 228 22 19 4 251 315 378 693 3 97 permalink no comments pennant race 2008 09 27 14 28 by ember nickel it s one thing to hear forty thousand boo magnifying their sound at someone who left the team and as a traitor comes here again it s another to hear them cheer sound overlaps sound no two yells the same but such is the game it s big enough for all of the players we want to adore the cacophony is more glorious than boos each of us gives a different roar when a ball that i can t see tied the score then i do see it deep down the line in right yes can they win i try to clap but it s hard with a scoreboard on your lap i write down the triple and then i stand noticing a hand outstretched down the row to get together with your friends and go to the game is normal for them not for me and yet tonight we let our high fives blend into the maelstrom of noise friend and friend permalink comments 2 sean rodriguez strikes out on a 4 2 pitch 2008 09 05 09 59 by ember nickel a strikeout can put you on base and yet this still seems out of place to go down for the count after such an amount of pitches is a minor disgrace permalink comments 1 stupid humbug stat tricks your basic 13 hit shutout edition 2008 08 25 20 00 by dianagramr the phillies completed a four game sweep of the dodgers tonight with a 5 0 shutout what made the shutout special was philly pitchers gave up 13 hits its not often you see a linescore of 0 13 0 in fact this is only the ninth time since 1956 that a team has pitched a 13 hit shutout its the most hits allowed in a nine inning shutout date tm opp score h bb so 2b 3b ibb hbp 8 31 2005 kcr min 1 0 13 2 5 2 0 0 1 8 13 2005 wsn col 8 0 13 5 7 1 0 0 0 7 18 1993 atl pit 2 0 13 0 4 1 0 0 0 6 7 1991 pit sdp 1 0 13 1 7 0 0 0 0 8 15 1989 sea tex 2 0 13 2 7 1 0 0 0 9 9 1973 nym mon 3 0 13 1 3 0 0 0 0 7 25 1968 cin pit 2 0 13 3 3 0 0 0 0 7 15 1964 min wsa 6 0 13 1 6 0 0 2 0 in case you were curious since 1956 the most hits allowed in a 9 inning game while giving up only 1 run is 15 permalink no comments time trials 2008 08 20 11 46 by ember nickel london calling ni hao it s beijing why don t you answer the phone when we ring i ve been trying to call you for a day oh did you factor in the time delay soccer clocks count down football clocks count up the path to a cup is truly a race if the end is not a time but a place each field stretching out to a distant wall hosts another ball no two are the same such is the nature of the endless game we play outside of time work s not so kind we suddenly find ourselves rushed along unable to verbalize what feels wrong and fearful to impose our rules upon this stage we ll be gone from it in good time whatever that means in arrogance i m imagining an unbounded cocoon that may open soon or remain until some distant date perhaps it never will permalink no comments midnight cleveland 2008 08 04 07 22 by ember nickel i do get a scorecard eventually but the shock on his face was plain to see a scorecard writing s mimed for keeping score at last i m directed to the team store perhaps it s then that i start tempting fate detroit cleveland 7 30 08 i do what many do and few admit wait for each team s first baserunner first hit as always i m chastised by inner shame what are the odds you ll see a perfect game you can t sustain the belief you will need to witness that requires too much greed but i cannot give up and will not yield to the unknown players above the field i can however compromise and my request s a game worth loving they comply after one and a half neighbor fans mention the perfect game of course verbal attention ends that hit follows hit run follows run hey they can t start an inning after one i laugh and point out as i m idly reading to joke about extras when you are leading by seven runs seems safe enough and yet in baseball it never feels safe to bet hubris is part of fandom which is worse the dread determinism of a curse unknowable randomness of those who watch from beyond the stadium or you driven by some delusion in control of course other fans mean you re not the sole influence but after the cleveland crowd goes home and it s tiger fans who are loud as finals from the west coast trickle in and finally detroit pulls out the win well i won t take the blame for the defeat i got to witness an unsurpassed feat 2b no 1b e7 no what it was indeed a game worth loving but i wanted cleveland to win they did not does the lack of the victory i sought mean that i m off the hook and that i can relax or didn t wish enough a fan is rarely only that so i ll go on but my delusions never will be gone though i will laugh at them they will not leave part of me dreams of power and i believe permalink no comments notes on a three way 2008 07 31 15 08 by score bard the red sox had to overpay to make their problem go away the good news is that jason bay is in boston not a ray manny s act is in l a what will torre have to say to keep the clubhouse in array when pierre and jones don t get to play pittsburgh shouts callooh callay two laroches in the fray the team s no longer gone astray the pirates future starts today permalink comments 5 score bard s blog now verse than ever about the toaster baseball toaster was unplugged on february 4 2009 frozen toast catfish stew and so to fade away fairpole baseball toaster to be unplugged disassembled for scraps cub town fade to black humbug my final take it or leave it offer the juice official moving day is here cardboard gods reggie jackson 1976 the griddle you did a good job but it s time to go dodger thoughts cheers bad altitude pitcher news i dump my tickets mike s baseball rants the state of the hall 2009 bronx banter movin on just a bit outside and we re off toaster tv blogs western homes screen 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