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Text of the page (random words):
ou love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict click here to take the which serenity character am i quiz posted by cmn at 5 51 pm 1 stab s back thursday june 15 2006 are their views on some points divergent shloss dissents openly from joyce s view on the legitimacy of academic and archival self help while joyce dissents tacitly from shloss s views on suppresion of the influence of hebephrenic balletics on the paternal literature citing both the existence of altenative methodologies for flaying felines and the dissheveled plumage of certain migratory columbidae upon return to their habitation in the territory sobrinamed auric i m sure there are people out there who can do a better job of this than i posted by cmn at 6 36 pm 1 stab s back monday november 28 2005 tis the season to excoriate bad christmas songs and as with so many similar pastimes no one does it better than lileks they re playing christmas songs at the coffee shop now the staff informs me that the selection consists of the same four songs played over and over again but by different artists i wouldn t doubt it there are only four songs really religious secular songs sung like religious songs happy upbeat modern tunes and modern krep in which grandma is run over by a reindeer or the various members of the family gather to rock around the christmas tree how this rocking is done i am unsure since the tree is usually in the corner thus it would be difficult to rock around the christmas tree you would have to rock in a semi circular pattern the people on the end would either have to circle around the others which would mean they were rocking around the persons rocking or the entire line would have to shift back and forth permitting the occupant of the center position no more than a few feet of rocking it is also unclear what sort of rocking we are talking about here most rocking doesn t take you around anything from the bruce springsteen grin and thrust and pump hip dance to the foghat stoner stand in place and bob head style most rocking is done in place so the whole song falls apart under analysis note it is possible to rock around the clock this being an expression of rocking performed in time not space to bad he didn t get off a riff on that supremely stupid lyric it s the new old fashioned way though i suppose that s a pretty accurate description of hallmark s business model posted by cmn at 2 03 pm 0 stab s back wednesday november 23 2005 of wands and trenchcoats via a commenter on heidi s blog i found this bit of harry potter fanfic in which the premise is that john constantine if you associate that name with keanu i pity you gets hired by hogwarts to teach defense against the dark arts now one could easily imagine doing this sort of thing as a quickie pastiche joke but the author camwyn is far more ambitious and has the talent to carry it off while she certainly mines the rich vein of humor inherent in viewing hogwarts from constantine s jaded perspective she s also writing a mini mystery novel that s as intruiguing and engaging as one of rowling s in which the characterizations and voices of both constantine and all the rowling characters ring perfectly true if you re a member of that particular subclass of geekdom to whom the above sounds interesting you should definitely check it out here s a taste from constantine s field notes to whet the appetite hagrid s war all down to one man some git calling himself lord voldemort apparently he s some magic psychopathic racist dictator or something who held power 15 yrs ago reign of terror people dying left right armies of sinister magic creatures etc etc but got his arse served to him on a silver platter by a baby name of harry potter been trying to stage comeback ever since lord v wants to purify wizarding race can t even stand wizards w muggle ancestors would be happier if muggles all died screaming sounds like every fascist wanker to come down the pike only w magic tried telling hagrid this did not help hagrid unwilling even to say lord v s name talked about his allies though his nibs has gang of wizards witches hanging on his every word death eaters pure bloods and muggle haters the lot of em all chomping at the bit for a magical race war though they ll stop off for a bit of torture such along the way if they re not in a hurry then they kill you and that s it apparently no raising guardian demons from disjointed corpses no summoning horrors from the bowels of hell no nothing kill maim start race war all hail lord v who s up for jelly ice cream posted by cmn at 9 54 am 0 stab s back thursday november 03 2005 he comes by it honestly so it was halloween and what did lucas insist on dressing as a monk of course this was not just any random monk it was a monk with a well defined schtick you see on the hallowed eve he walked around the neighborhood accompanied by a friend of his who was also dressed as a monk the two of them chanted latin in unison pie iesu domine dona eis requiem after which each of them would smack himself in the forehead with a wooden board in lucas s case a clipboard in his friend s a piece of stryofoam painted to look like wood they had a few other friends with them as well one was dressed as the black knight and the other as a strange cloaked figure in a viking helmet who asked at each house whether they had a shrubbery i won t even tell you what happened every time they passed some poor girl dressed as a witch posted by cmn at 12 28 pm 0 stab s back saturday october 22 2005 a firefly serenity question yes i m a fan not to the point where i m spending large amounts of time and money to become a volunteer member of universal s marketing arm mind you but a fan nonetheless i do have this nagging question though why don t the reavers rape and kill each other until there s none or i suppose only one left if they re that crazy aggressive how can they even cooperate with each other enough to keep spaceships flying plan sophisticated booby traps organize raiding parties how can reaver society be anything but a contradiction in terms anyone posted by cmn at 6 01 pm 1 stab s back friday october 14 2005 aristocratic originalism i was intrigued enough to go see this movie but didn t find most of it as funny as i d hoped to make that joke work you either need truly inspired details that go beyond mere shock value or a style of delivery that makes it funny if anyone s keeping score i think the best two recitals were carlin s and cartman s for those respective reasons also in the inspired category is the below variation from wings and vodka i think it s actually better than any of the ones in the movie warning if you are at all squeamish read no further harriet miers walks into the senate judiciary committee s confirmation hearings arlen specter asks her ms miers how would you describe your approach to interpreting the constitution miers visibly excited says i m glad you asked my approach is really quite interesting i think you ll like it well then specter says let s hear it miers launches into an explanation well first thing i do is find a fairly quiet room with a clean desk i put the constitution on one side of the desk and a bible on the other i then completely disrobe as to be completely unfettered for the job at hand uh ms miers i m not sure that i then take the constitution and stick it all the way up my ass this is fairly difficult because i like to use a large leather bound version but i ve gotten much better at it it s usually just the gold plated index tabs that hurt ms miers you realize that we re on c span right now then once the constitution is safely hidden in my rectum i bring my cat oscar into the room and begin feeding him pages of the bible he mostly likes the new testament of course since the bible i use is printed on a 15 cotton fiber stock oscar can only keep it down for so long but when he finally coughs up the bible laden hairball the pages have been reduced to a fine paste that it is somehow perfectly suited for use as decorative body paint i really think we should take a break now ms miers wait just a moment so now that i have this kitty puke body paint i m finally ready for the midget to come in ms miers i m sorry little person the little person takes the cat vomit paint and begins transcribing my thoughts on the facts of the case in longhand backwards using for parchment my glorious naked body and using for a quill his glorious would somebody get a paramedic in here i think feinstein just fainted now while the anatomically gifted dwarf is dotting the i s and crossing the t s i take a moment to forcibly eject the constitution from my cavity i then beat the cat to death with it that little fucker just ate my bible after all skin his corpse and spread it out onto the desk i then proceed to pleasure the sex gnome with the constitution all the while rolling my body across the desk which transfers a now readable version of the transcription onto the spread out cat s fur i then wrap myself in this fabulous cloak borrow a quarter from my magnificent porn pygmy and flip it into the air if it lands on heads i donate the cloak to charity marry the little guy and decide for the appellant on moral grounds if it lands on tails i donate the oompa loompa to charity have myself declared legally married to the cat skin and puke blanket and decide for the appellee on a technicality at this point feinstein has fainted kennedy has had three heart attacks and specter looks as if he s just vomited down his suit pants which in fact he has that s quite a judicial philosophy you have there ms miers he says what do you call it miers jumps up from her seat gives a cute little wave of her hands and says originalism posted by cmn at 10 28 am 2 stab s back thursday october 13 2005 when judges have baggage from a case i had to read today the erlichs may have hoped to build their dream home and live happily ever after but there is a reason that tag line belongs only in fairy tales building a house may turn out to be a stress free project it is much more likely to be the stuff of urban legends the cause of bankruptcy marital dissolution hypertension and fleeting fantasies ranging from homicide to suicide erlich v menezes 21 cal 4th 543 557 58 1999 gee i wonder what the backstory to that little observation was posted by cmn at 5 17 pm 0 stab s back indisputably hilarious opposing counsel has served a request for judicial notice of facts contained in a wikipedia article if you understand the operative terms in that sentence you probably understand why i ve been chuckling all morning posted by cmn at 9 42 am 1 stab s back friday september 09 2005 what he said posted by cmn at 9 32 am 18 stab s back tuesday august 02 2005 the watchmaker may be blind but students should be taught to keep their eyes open while on one level my gut reaction is to agree with glenn and rick on the other hand i actually don t think it is a worthless exercise to expose kids to a debate like this as an exercise in critical thinking which is what science is supposed to be a careful weighing of the evidence and reasoning that support two different ways of understanding a phenomenon unfortunately the way science is taught and discussed these days is too often too close to a sort of religious faith instead of revealed truth we have proven theories and instead of accepted dogma we have the current scientific consensus this is dangerous to science and to critical thinking in general because it encourages the idea that unless you are a scientist you have no basis on which to form an opinion about certain topics and no ability to evaluate the relative merits of two scientific assertions and yet we ask jurors to evaluate the competing views of opposing scientific experts and voters to evaluate policy arguments based on competing scientific assertions of cause and effect and well we should unless we would place all decisions in the hands of a class of self selected mandarins we are all called upon to be scientists to some degree or other and you do not train scientists by teaching them to toss out dissenting theories with a sneer rather than an argument intellectual authority is the death of science whether the authority is aristotle the church or the op eds in scientific american even if as i believe it is intelligent design is an inferior theory to evolution allowing proponents of both theories to present their arguments and critique those of the other side would be a valuable lesson particularly because i guarantee it will make those kids understand the theory of evolution a lot better than they do now you don t really understand a theory until you ve seriously considered a counter argument and worked through the reasons for choosing one over the other note that i said id is inferior not that it is wrong this is an important distinction and it points to another issue that is buried in the way kids are taught to think about science a scientific theory is a tool that serves some end and it can be evaluated only by reference to how well it fulfills that end the criteria for making these evaluations are not self evident nor are they easily separable from the kinds of considerations one might well call religious go read the debate between newton and leibniz or remember einstein s rejection of quantum theory on the ground that god does not play at dice no doubt one of the reasons the id crowd prefer their theory is that they think it more consonant with the dignity of man and his view of his place in the universe is that an invalid criterion if so is it moreso than the requirement that a theory be elegant why i don t say there aren t good answers to these questions i merely say that kids should be taught that they really are questions that need answers nor am i claiming that no theory is ever really wrong sure it is if it contradicts observed phenomena easy enough to say in the abstract but in practice how do you decide how much skepticism to aim at reports of new observations that call into question theories you hold dear that too depends in part on what ends your theory serves and there is a margin within which all of us are willing to tolerate some sacrificed accuracy in exchange for a comprehensive worldview that we feel at home in easy enough to sneer at the knuckleheads who cling to id how many of the people doing the sneering cling to a worldview informed by marxism now would the teaching of id endorsed by bush come anywhere near to what i envision as potentially salutary i don t know and i fear not worst case scenario would be that both views are simply presented as equally valid and left to the children to choose between as a matter of preference or faith without any serious criticism of either one in other words the very sort of mindless multiculturalism the right is supposed to oppose there s also a slippery slope problem does every crackpot theory get equal time to be heard and refuted in school i actual...