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that s not what the people in power do they just double down on causing unnecessary human suffering you really do wonder what the fuck is wrong with those people there s a tulip in bloom in the backyard must be just about easter clotted cream by mush on march 18 2026 1 comment in food in which there s a first time okay like basically everyone on earth i ve heard of scones with clotted cream but i ve never had it because i m american and the only time i ve ever set foot in a fancy tea room was as a performer and not a patron last week one of my co workers told me there was some expired heavy cream if i wanted some so i brought home a half gallon of heavy cream and stuck it in my fridge it occurred to me to make clotted cream so i read up on how and did it a dish full of cream in a 170f oven for twelve hours after nine hours it was still fully liquid when i took it out of the oven and put it in the fridge and i thought it hadn t worked but it set up as it cooled the next day there were solids floating in the top half of the dish i started with slightly over half the half gallon container of heavy cream and ended up with a pint of clotted cream one pint half and half one pint clotted cream the leftover whey is fine in coffee i read so many recipes i don t remember now where i learned that but i m glad i did or i might have just poured out the non clotted stuff i spent my entire weekend sick in bed which sucked but at least leaving something in the oven and then in the fridge was the right speed today i made scones i read a bunch of recipes finally picked one i liked and did it made a big old mess of the kitchen counter and didn t get the height i wanted but they taste nice a scone with clotted cream the point i now believe of clotted cream is that fat is filling and keeps your otherwise completely silly tea sandwich from making you hangry in half an hour after all the sugars burn off it s also delicious i ate two saturday by mush on march 16 2026 no comments in health in which i was just sick a couple weeks ago unfair friday there was some sneezing apparently that s the tell now if i sneeze more than once in a day i ve probably been exposed to germs saturday afternoon at work i started to feel pretty rotty and by the time i got home i was definitely coming down with something now it s monday and i still feel gross and i m mad at whoever it was that decided to come into my workplace and fucking breathe around me i don t want to be sick this is my weekend i want to get chores out of the way and feel good and read library books and drink adult beverages i do not want to sit on the couch like a zombie staring at the television i do not want to spend sixty percent of my weekend asleep god damn it just the usual crud congestion cough aches i haven t even taken a covid test because at this point i don t really want to know that the people who make up the society i live in don t believe in vaccines and are basically out there spreading disease more or less on purpose going to work when you re sick is stupid being sick is uncomfortable at best and can kill you at worst to stop from spreading most disease just stay the fuck home when you re sick or if you must go out wear a goddamned mask some bastard got me sick and i hope they have a permanent itch somewhere for the rest of their life falafel by mush on march 11 2026 no comments in food in which there s hours of cooking first you have to soak the chickpeas and make the bread so best be starting the day before because we ve got executive function oh yes we do so it only took what three weeks of thinking about it before we did it anyway i made some super high hydration dough and prepared it as if it were ciabatta but it basically just came out like all my bread does which is fine it s still good i thought about making actual pita bread but by the time i did i no longer cared enough to get the flour back out homemade bread so the problem is that aside from a food truck i once heard about five years ago and which may or may not still exist there s no falafel around here none zero so i have to make my own falafel balls well i mean there s a greek place in walla walla but they make a style i really don t like called revithokeftedes which is basically falafel only with terrible texture i don t have a food processor well i have a little tiny one but i only use it for olive salad so i have to make my falafel in the blender which is a pain in the ass but i pretty much have it dialed in now i used the old oil that s been sitting in my fryer for god knows how long it s probably a little rancid but not bad enough to stink or anything just made the falafels taste more professional honestly here s some tabbouleh my favorite salad of all time tabbouleh i don t like the fine bulgur so i always use the more rustic stuff it feels unbelievably wholesome somehow the hummus is from a can and it s fucking wonderful ziyad hot spicy hummus it took me years but i finally figured out that the best way to make tahini sauce is to use hot water it really comes together much more easily that way with i think possibly better texture somehow anyway after baking bread and getting the blender dirty and chopping all that parsley and opening a can and making tahini and deep frying all those little balls after all that the food was fucking wonderful yum tahini always reminds me now of eating in a falafel place in brooklyn which apparently still exists there were squeeze bottles of tahini on every table the same style as those old mustard and ketchup ones only bigger and white rather than yellow or red and how much i loved just having that much fucking tahini to pour all over my falafel and rice in unrelated news i bought a necklace and emailed with my aunt pretty sure it s been over a dozen days since i last showered later this month two other aunts will be in town visiting and the whole family will be going out to sunday dinner also i learned how to remove and replace the back wheel on my bike the month before last which was actually pretty cool and of course much easier than i d expected a blog post by mush on march 1 2026 2 comments in life in which i m blogging goddamn it i don t even care if i don t even care recently my brother gave me a speaker he found in the road because i d complained all my speakers were crap i guess he actually saw a vehicle drive over it before he stopped and picked it up well it s fine it kicks ass and it s tiny a li l speaker guy it s a clip 5 you can clip it to shit it s waterproof it was totally free it sounds astonishingly good for its size right now i have it playing bhajans friday night i went to the milton freewater downtown alliance chamber awards dinner my boss gives me a free ticket and this is my third year attending the food was great the wine was great and the awards themselves are really nice because they remind you that a lot of people are actually quite humble and wonderful and operate under the assumption that their duty is to care and help and give back so they just go around fixing shit and funding things and quietly making life better which is something we need to see from time to time lest we get all jaded and bitchy reading about politics and living and working with men as we do one of the fun parts of the dinner is that there s a table decorating contest so not only does the place look nice for the event but no matter where you re seated you get local business provided swag because you get to keep whatever s on your table the people who sat at the cheese factory sponsored table this year got cheese cream butter and tiny jersey cows awards dinner my table this year had a giant tagine for a centerpiece and abundant chocolates i didn t want the tagine but i did get the little rug it was sitting on which turned out to be probably a bath rug new li l rug guy on the living room floor next to a cushion and another li l rug this is where i sit to meditate i wanted it as a meditation asana and it s perfect for that it s extremely soft even if i m not a fan of the fake distressed rug designs and fine to sit on i also got a half dozen rocks glasses and nearly all the candy on the table because nobody else wanted it whoo work s the same i mostly enjoy it because it s not fucking comcast or home depot but i ll have been there seven years in july and the new has definitely worn off i still love what we re doing there and i love the humanity of the place you don t get fired for being nineteen seconds back from a break for example but i ve never been promoted and haven t gotten a raise in years doing dishes and cleaning grills isn t exactly stimulating and i sorta thought that by now i d be in charge of a department or would be doing fun admin shit maybe in design editing or haccp or documentation training or whatever but the place is still run exactly as it was when i started more or less like a hobby which is fine but there s no path for advancement and without a promotion into an admin job that doesn t exist i ll never get to sit down and i m pushing 60 and would very much like to sit down if i m honest please i sometimes think about getting a real job but i have no idea if i m qualified for anything grown up anymore i ve been out of it forever and it d probably take me a week to set up active directory services properly heh and while it s true the idea of a commute sucks it s also true that my ira only has four grand in it i figure something will fall into my lap eventually because it s usually who you know more than what or not we ll see i want my backyard to not look like shit but i also want to not have to go out there in gloves and boots and pull a bunch of milkweed out of the gravel myself i m going to ask if the lawn guys will do it this month before mowing gears up in full and they get too busy to help lazy people with stupid projects i also want to go back to amritapuri again this year but maybe not during peak monsoon season i m sure work would let me off again but i ll have to see if i can afford it trap the feral ditch cat recovered perfectly from her spay surgery stayed five days in the guest room and was a perfect guest and now hangs out with me all the time i get the impression she thinks i m an extremely stupid and lazy cat but i keep finding food so she s willing to tolerate my lack of running around the neighborhood at night eating birds or whatever sometimes she tries to boss us around by marching up to one of us or into a room and yelling but since we don t know what the hell she s saying it never works most of the time she naps inside or on the patio couch yesterday evening i caught her playing actually playing with some dry leaves i d never seen her play before not even when she had kittens so yeah i ve been adopted by a fucking cat i did not want a cat i don t even like cats they re an invasive species they walk in litter boxes and then on your kitchen counters they re assholes fuck cats i ve seen this particular cat torture half dead rodents and i once listened to her eat an entire bird skull and beak and feathers and feet and all disgusting the cat is a terrible species awful just nasty buuuut i just feel responsible for her now and she purrs and is soft and she s happy to see me when i get home from work so yeah i love her what i should do is get a fucking goat to eat all the weeds in the back yard i have got by mush on january 9 2026 no comments in admissions to get back into the habit of blogging on this website amritapuri part 2 by mush on september 28 2025 no comments in spiritual travel in which there s more but not much more because i didn t write it most nights i slept with my windows wide open and could hear the surf it was glorious the sea at sunset if i left the hall early at night i could hear the bhajans slightly while lying in bed and sometimes in the early mornings i could hear the archana there was always traffic during the day and some at night and everybody honks while driving in india sometimes the horns sound like elephants the last week or so i d figured out that if i kept the windows closed the ceiling fan on and the bathroom door closed it had permanent openings and was always humid my clothes would get slightly drier i only bathed once a week because even though it s the tropics and there are two taps there s no hot water and no towels i used a sheet or a dupatta it s cold to shower and it s impossible to get dry the power goes out frequently but rarely for more than ten seconds at a time this is why not bringing a laptop was a good decision apparently unshielded they get fried all the time i started this the day i wrote the previous post then saved it to come back to later it turns out that after coming back to this post to finish it i don t want to finish it overall the trip was utterly transformative i thought thoughts i had experiences my spirituality deepened in ways that would sound ridiculous if put into language so i won t try everything that exists is a metaphor for finding your real self which is closer than close and all the effort you do to become whatever it is that your intellect thinks is enlightenment is more or less running around in circles and only true love can get any of us anywhere near understanding that and that s what my sadguru gave me when i went to visit her plus i drank a cocktail with ice in it at the delhi airport which of course gave me delhi belly which i suffered after i got all the way home and it sucked real bad so bad i even tried to go to the doctor about it after about five days but gave up when the nearest clinic wouldn t take my insurance nevertheless i survived amritapuri part 1 by mush on august 26 2025 2 comments in seva spiritual travel in which i use my passport and spend eighty hours in airports and airplanes i ve been thinking about writing this post for most of a month now because i wasn t sure how since it wasn t really a touristy trip i went to see my sadguru an enlightened person an avatar for spiritual purposes and most of what i have to observe was the ways my mind does what it does and how i reacted to that it s not like i went to any restaurants or shows or on any hikes or cruises view from the footbridge facing toward the amritapuri ashram the trip was walla walla to seattle to vancouver to delhi to trivandrum i never left the airports and it took a couple days each way absolutely exhausting the shape of the trip was dictated primarily by politics from what i ve been told by a keralan living in canada i met on a return flight you d typically rather go through dubai the way over i was exhausted in every way physically mentally emotionally and spiritually my relationship has its struggles i ve been in the same entry level job for six years with no promotions or recent raises i m older and fatter than i ve ever been and i live a life of essentially laziness and dissipation i read a lot i sleep a lot i drink too much i don t bother to have a social life and while i kn...