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ed and black uniforms and sparking new wrestling shoes as the match began i was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler s ears it was a luxury the opposing team obviously could not afford well we ended up walloping them we took every weight class mike seated next to me shook his head sadly i wish just one of them could have won he said they have lots of potential but losing like this could take the heart right out of them mike loved kids all kids he so enjoyed coaching little league football baseball and lacrosse that s when the idea for his present came that afternoon i went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner city church on christmas eve i placed a small white envelope on the tree the note inside telling mike what i had done and this was his gift from me mike s smile was the brightest thing about christmas that year and that same bright smile lit up succeeding years for each christmas i followed the tradition one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before christmas and so on the white envelope became the highlight of our christmas it was always the last thing opened on christmas morning and our children ignoring their new toys would stand with wide eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents the story doesn t end there you see we lost mike last year due to dreaded cancer when christmas rolled around i was wrapped in grief but christmas eve found me placing an envelope on the tree and the next morning i found it was magically joined by three more unbeknownst to the others each of our three children for the first time placed a white envelope on the tree for their dad it looks like this family tradition will continue this entry was posted in christmas and tagged christmas on december 21 2015 by liz last words about love 4 replies this is the last synchroblog for our team we have enjoyed these past few years blogging together but have decided to close our synchroblog one of our regular bloggers has announced that he is going to start up a new synchroblog you can find his site here this month s synchrblog asks bloggers what they would write about if this was thier last blog it s sort of like asking a person to think about what they would want their last words to be as i pondered this idea i knew that i would want my last words to be about love because imo love is the main thing the biggie the thing that trumps everything else if someone was to try and remember something i once said i would like it very much if it was something about love so here are some last words about love from me loving is risky and requires us to be vulnerable that s scary stuff but it is worth it people accept the love they think they deserve we can love others without loving ourselves but the love or lack of love we have for ourselves does impact the way we love others and the way we receive love from others if we hurt someone with our words or actions we shouldn t demand that they love us well without taking time to regain their trust and demonstrating our love to them in better ways forgiveness regaining trust and being vulnerable enough to love again after a relationship suffers a blow is a process love is patient the opposite of love isn t always hate sometimes it is indifference or silence or polite but meaningless interaction when it comes to faith the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love galatians 5 6 loving requires us to be generous loving is more than a feeling love is an action we choose if we keep having to declare that our actions are loving we may not be loving well if what we call love is consistently seen as unloving we have to examine what we are doing and why we can always justify our actions and words by calling them tough love but most of the time if someone consistently feels unloved by us it is because we aren t loving them well real love is worked out in the details of life real love enters the world of another person and feels what it is like to be that person real love sees through the eyes of the other if you want to grow in love focus on the details say i love you to your friends and family of course our actions mean the most but adding those three little words to loving actions is a priceless combination don t miss out on the opportunity and add a hug when you can the human touch is very important when it comes to showing our love love is powerful but more than that love is enough it gives so many the courage to stand up against injustice and for the goodness and protection of others it causes us to give generously of ourselves and our possessions it helps people open themselves up to new understandings and perspectives it motivates us to check on our neighbors to give to the poor to visit the sick to take care of our children to build a life with someone love changes those who love and those who are loved and as a result it changes the world spread your love everywhere you go you won t regret it it is worth it it is enough i hope you will check out the other synchroblog posts this month i ll add links as they become available k w leslie synchrobloggery glenn hager parting shot clara mbamalu what is love carol kuniholm a final synchroblog peggy brown abi and the last synchroblog leah sophia synchroblog creation one more time jeremy myers if this were my only blog post i would invite you to do one thing j a carter last words tony ijeh sharing jesus liz dyer last words about love this entry was posted in blogging love synchroblog and tagged blogging last words love synchroblog on october 20 2015 by liz same sex marriage stuff part two leave a reply click here to read same sex marriage stuff part one 50 years ago religious freedom arguments that are being made today to discriminate against lgbt people were being used to justify the discrimination of black people and interracial relationships at that time scripture was misused to support the exclusion and oppression of black people and interracial couples today we have people doing the same thing to justify the exclusion and oppression of lgbt people and same sex couples most people have never taken the time to study what scripture says about same sex relationships for themselves most people read scripture with preconceived ideas that have been formed by believing what they have been told by someone else if anyone is willing to set their preconceived ideas aside and take the time to study original language while also taking historical context into consideration they will be able to comprehend that there is nothing in scripture that clearly condemns a loving healthy same sex relationship nothing i know because as a parent of a gay son i was diligent in my effort to find out for sure what scripture did and didn t say about same sex relationships i loved my son enough to go to the trouble do you love anyone enough to go to the trouble if you do i would be glad to help you in fact there is more evidence in scripture to support slavery than there is to support the condemnation of all same sex relationships scripture also doesn t put forth the idea that marriage is to be only between one man and one woman or that it has anything to do with people falling in love scripture proves one thing about marriage that marriage has been changing since the beginning of time as society progresses learns and improves our institutions change traditionally marriage was not between one man and one woman the idea of marriage as a sexually exclusive romantic union between one man and one woman is a relatively recent development in the ancient world marriage served primarily as a means of preserving power with kings and other members of the ruling class marrying off their daughters to forge alliances acquire land and produce legitimate heirs the purpose of marriage was primarily the production of heirs often times peasants wouldn t even bother with marriage since they had no property or position to worry about the church didn t even get involved in marriage until the 5th century it wasn t declared a sacred sacrament until the 12th century and it wasn t until the 16th century that weddings were performed publicly by a priest and with witnesses a license to be married wasn t commonplace until the 17th century which was around the time when romance began to have some involvement as the middle class formed in the 19th century only then did young men begin to select their own spouses and start marrying without the consent of their parents the idea of women having rights and not being a subordinate to their husband didn t become common until the 20th century it was 1965 before the supreme court ruled that a wife could be raped by her husband until then husbands who forced themselves on their wives were not guilty of rape since they were legally entitled to sexual access the institution of marriage has always been in a constant state of evolution marriage like transportation has always been a part of human existence but riding a donkey is very different from flying in a jet and modern marriage has only superficial similarity to what went before just as we embrace each new mode of travel that enhances human welfare no one should mind adapting marriage to the needs of modern people steve chapman extending matrimony to same sex couples advances the same interests cited in support of heterosexual marriage legalizing same sex marriages encourages stable commitments that offer a framework for procreation and upholds the interest of children in a legally protected family the evidence before us is that same sex marriage offers the same benefits to individuals and society that opposite sex marriage does and finally there is nothing in scripture that would support the idea that christians should not sell their services or products to someone who is in their eyes sinning in fact that would go against the very tenets of christianity any use of christianity to justify discrimination is evidence of a misunderstanding about who jesus was and what his good news was meant to convey to and about humanity discrimination and exclusion were not values of jesus and are in conflict with the precepts of the christian faith oh and one last point the first amendment does not guarantee us the right to discriminate based on our religion it instead guarantees us the right not to be discriminated against based on our religious beliefs this entry was posted in bible christian justice lgbt love marriage equality and tagged christian discrimination equality faith freedom lgbt love marriage same sex marriage scripture on august 6 2015 by liz same sex marriage stuff part one 8 replies this post is part of the july synchroblog which invites bloggers to post about same sex marriage as someone who has a gay son and who owns and facilitates a private facebook group for more than 500 moms of lgbt kids i have a lot to say about same sex marriage stuff in fact i have so much to say i don t know where to start but i guess a good place to start is with my own story about how i went from believing same sex relationships were sinful to believing that condemning same sex relationships is sinful when my son came out he told me he had come to the conclusion that the bible did not condemn loving committed same sex relationships i fully expected to be able to prove him wrong i was accustomed to studying scripture as i taught women s bible studies for years i knew what it meant to dig into original language and consider the historical context of the verses i was studying i was shocked to find that my son was right none of the clobber verses were speaking about a loving monogamous healthy same sex relationship in fact after a lot of studying and searching i had to admit there was no sufficient evidence in scripture that clearly condemned or supported same sex relationships one would have to put their integrity at stake and make scripture say more than it does in order to claim that scripture clearly condemns or supports same sex relationships i could go into greater detail here about what i found and didn t find in scripture but instead i would like to share a link to a message by pastor stan mitchell of gracepoint church in franklin tn the message is dialogue on full sacramental lgbt inclusion this message includes almost everything i discovered in my own journey i personally think this should be required listening for all christians living in 2015 but i will just say if you are a christian who loves anyone anyone who is lgbt you should take the time to listen to this message right away in light of discovering there was insufficient evidence in scripture to condemn same sex relationships i then had to ask myself what should i do and how should i respond to something if scripture doesn t clearly condemn or support it the only thing i could think is i needed to find out if there was any evidence to indicate same sex relationships hurt people i searched and i couldn t find that kind of evidence either in fact the evidence i discovered showed healthy same sex relationships had the same healthy effect on individuals and society as opposite sex relationships have on individuals and society two more things happened which ended up playing a significant role in my journey first i ran across this quote a traditional religious belief is that grace builds on nature in other words religious life depends on a good foundation in human health therefore we can legitimately evaluate the validity of a religious belief system by its psychological consequences good theology will result in good psychology and vice versa accordingly bad theology will have negative psychological consequences this is nothing more than an application of the biblical norm you will be able to tell them by their fruits matt 7 16 if saint irenaeus proclaimed the glory of god is humans fully alive emphasis mine then clearly a belief system that results in the destruction of human health cannot serve the glory of god dr john j mcneill and second i kept bumping into micah 6 8 he hath shewed thee o man what is good and what doth the lord require of thee but to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy god the quote by dr mcneill made so much sense to me and supported what i had always believed in my heart which was the tenets and beliefs of christianity should mostly lead to a person s health and wholeness in other words our mental emotional physical and spiritual health should all be better if we are embracing good theology like dr mcneill explained good and right theology should mostly lead to good psychology good fruit as i considered this idea i began to understand that when our theology about something is resultin...