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Text of the page (random words):
e your universe povs but not today for the moment please accept as axiomic that we do not cause every event in our lives the substitution of minimizing harm language in inflicting harm circumstances is also in a response to our views of ourselves as people who do not actually want to harm others we ll leave the people who want to harm others out for the moment if you don t mind most people have a set of half conscious characteristics of proper behavior often with sub categories based on race gender socio economic level degree of able bodied and mind ness etc which are an amalgam of what they were taught and what they observed throughout their life keep in mind there s fairly solid evidence that children learn much more from observation and interaction than from explicit and conscious teaching this is how unconscious biases transmit themselves through the generations a powerful positive feature of our psyches with some negative side effects which do not respond to conscious reasoned argument instead from a young age parents use guilt shame to control their children and socialize them it begins often with physical violence the use of spanking slapping the belt the paddle etc to discipline a child has an emotional component as well in communicating that someone is a bad person and should be punished i remember a conversation with a co worker once where she failed a math test and her father took his belt to her she explained very urgently that she had to have the secondary physical punishment in addition to the social punishment of a bad grade in order to teach her a lesson paraphrased and she valued much lower in her memory the actual teaching her grandmother did to show her how to do the math she clearly didn t understand that is the actual cure for the failure ignorance was valued less in her memory that punishment for having failed and she believed the latter demanded the presence of the former despite them coming from completely different sources and despite saying to me that she thought she would have paid attention when her grandmother taught her without being beaten indeed that question about whether she could have learned form her grandmother without being beaten for failure by her father ended our conversation as she suddenly became very upset and changed the subject what i m trying to point at here is that our defense of guilt shame being used against us and by definition everyone is a very basic aspect of most of our minds including mine it is pre verbal and tied into our primary relationships with our caregivers caregivers here is much broader than most people seem to use it i actually would include my friend s father and grandmother under the category caregivers even though her mother was in the picture as well and even though her father was violent and not care giving one could argue his version of care was violence and i think this is an important part of my point that caregiving can include violence and neglect for whatever reason children seem particularly susceptible to the perception that they directly cause all aspects of their lives this includes within it a need to reform punishments and harm to the child as being caused by the child as in the prior example my friend needed to be beaten because she was beaten so therefore she must have needed to be beaten the logic is circular and thus carries both the illusion of reasonableness that is it seems as if it has been reasoned into despite actually being axiomic and a resistance to being reasoned out of my friend s response to even the gentlest questioning that she needed to be beaten with extreme anxiety and a topic change which clearly indicates to me how powerful it is within out minds yes i m generalizing from a single example but i am trying to use this in more of a parable sense than a data sense that is i m counting on you the reader being able to apply a similar situation to yourself in your defensiveness about how your parents raised you whether it involved beatings or not hopefully this has established not only that our early experiences of caregiving have a powerful effect on our minds but also that these points of view have not been reasoned into but often carry the patina of reasonableness and common sense i also want to put up a reminder that the language around inflicting harm versus minimizing harm is muddled due to how often language of the latter is used to cover up the former next post i want to get into the positive roll guilt shame plays in terms of community building and ethical individualization posted by deoridhe at 3 15 pm 1 comment labels guilt shame philosophy psychology sociology saturday may 14 2011 ted i have become a huge fan of ted technology entertainment and design it s a series of lectures and talks on topics of interest to people usually liberal and often odd here are some of my favorites erinaceously delicious about the dictionary and how a lexicographer views language on being wrong about how we behave and feel when we re making mistakes what adults can learn from kids which is a really entertaining talk about age discrimination on vulnerability about the thing which brings the most incandescent joy is being open to and vulnerable for pain clocking the fastest animals abot just what it sonds like fast animals how bacteria communicate on a way for group communication without leaders a search for dark energy which is a fascinating look at dark energy and dark matter the talk is about jsut what it sounds like introducing a child to the idea of sex through frogs social media and the end of gender about how interests are beginning to be central to identity instead of gender and age transplant cells instead of organs about the possibility of transplanting cells for organs instead of whole organs which would open wide doors for multiple transplants and change the face of health in the world the rise of personal robots about the possibilities for robots which respond to human social cues on being a woman about changes of women in politics gift of play from bonobo apes about the sexually active friendly loving culture of bonobos the birth of a word is about complex datamining efforts which can connect together social interactions with discrete items like a media source or a word posted by deoridhe at 10 56 pm no comments labels information upbeat wednesday february 2 2011 cycles of uncertainty i wake up in a soft bed to the sound of the radio my cat is curled up next to me miowing every time i move to hit the snooze button resettling when i lie back and tuck the covers more closely around me my arm is cold curled above the covers around him feeling his soft fur against my skin in the car i fret about filling my gas tank before the day starts too far i put five dollars in yesterday but it needs to be completely filled i have at least sixty miles to drive today only half of them covered by mileage sonali kohakar is on the radio her words not penetrating my fogged brain as i drive to the first stop but i know her voice as she signs off for the morning i feel vaguely guilty i never manage to get up in the morning to listen to her show unless i have to and i always forget to listen to the podcast in the evening i wake up my first client of the day rush through reminders chant gas gas gas in my mind so i don t miss my stop the gas station thirteen cents cheaper than the one katty corner to it is a game of tetris with cars i wave to the attendants i know i m there so often the radio is covering the demonstrations in cairo egypt there s a young woman she sounds younger than me her voice clear and sweet and full of laughter despite her situation i m staying until it s done she says i don t think there s anything for me if mubarak stays in power they recorded me saying down with mubarak i wonder what it would take for me to be recorded saying down with anyone would i do it if i knew i could be killed for it my own cowardice is bitter things don t go well at my second stop and i wonder how much of it is me tight and guilty and stressed what do i bring in to cause failure how can i ultimately tell the variables are so numerous that any sort of sensible analysis seems hopeless i m caught up again in a cycle of thoughts which have been increasingly bothering me how much of my analysis of what should be worked on be the focus valid obviously keeping basics like food and shelter but there s pressure for more to shape people into citizens in some way which has an army of unspoken assumptions about what a person should be how can i serve my clients and be an agent for the state supposed supporters of mumbarak are now approaching the demonstrations demonstrations which are being described as peaceful clean celebratory violence is breaking out they say i know elsewhere on other radio stations the language will be of violence breaking out in the riot in cairo i believe what i listen to others believe what they listen to and i wonder how we can determine the veracity of our sources of information i m biased toward the underdog the citizens the people who just want a peaceful world without fear language about them will always draw my sympathy i stop at starbucks which has signs on the wall advertizing their word for a better world to illustrate this brown people work on coffee plantations in de saturated photographs what would it be like if those people were white out better world built by the labor of the brown my favorite discussion board has gotten into get another debate about palestine and israel one without many insults i feel ignorant despite hearing about the issue a lot it seems too often be talked about vaguely idealistically politically with the moments of specific events standing out starkly the image of three teenage girls dead and one blinded in one eye a doctor frantically trying to get help for children bombed in his very own home calling a friend on television this doctor preaches peace now when he speaks even after the death of so many dear to him his preaching seems to fall far short of those who could bring about peace i wonder what would take me out on the streets i had once said something like the japanese interment camps might have but looking at the detention of undocumented people i m not so sure it didn t take me onto the streets after all would i have hidden jews in my home in germany i return to the radio with my drink driving and listening as the radio followed the lead of the blog i read to palestine and israel in my mind the two conversations are confused tangled up like a hairball i m not sure what i think anymore except i m tired of people getting hurt and dying i m tired of suffering how much do i contribute to that suffering unseen to me another client trying to make peace in a smaller place and another thread of thought intrudes how do we deal peacefully with aggression how can aggression be contained without either matching aggression or concession what role does being weak play into it i remember a conference i was at years ago people began to speak of their utopias no cars no starbucks everyone wearing sandals and walking to a spiritual center what about the people who need cars who can t walk down paths who don t want to be spiritual i wanted to rail at them who are the people your utopia excludes without you seeing who are the people my utopia excludes without me seeing when i wish for peace for an end to violence and suffering what is the cost there who has to pay it i imagine myself there in cairo linking arm and arm with others to protect a library to protect a square from thugs and pro mumbarak forces but i m not there i m here with my starbucks and my clients i could leave abandon my things and everything comfortable use my last paycheck to fly to cairo and link arms maybe who would take my clients shopping who would listen to them do i listen to them posted by deoridhe at 11 13 pm no comments labels social justice uncertainty wednesday august 25 2010 black faces white masks i finished my thesis maybe i ll upload bits of it and see if it stands up to the internet as well as it did my advisor and am finally now months later getting to all of the books i picked up for it which i didn t read in time to include i m reading in bits and pieces though i don t know if that is sensible or not somehow the books on racism are harder to swallow than books that are more white yay privilege i find myself thinking more reacting more twitching more in response to books where i m not the audience feature not a bug but a sometimes difficult feature to swallow some of it s the denseness too i m finding molefi kete asante book on afrocentricity as dense as socrates though not aristotle who still gives me fits is it weird that my denseness sense is based on dead white guys but in a different way which means all the skills i ve developed to read socrates helps me not at all with asante in contrast black skin white masks by frantz fanon has much more straightforward language but i m struggling with the androcentric quality of it in particular he has one chapter on the black woman and the white man which more read like this is why black women suck for not wanting to marry black men so i m snarling quietly at the the black man and the white woman which reads more so far as an apology for why wanting to be white is seeking purity and culture the same assumption held in the prior chapter but was cast as quite negative while in this chapter the experience of wanting to be the superior is treated more sympathetically i can t tell if i m rougher on it since there s racial things i m struggling to reconcile my white ass with or if the gender stuff is problematic enough to get my panties in a bunch about probably little of one hand little of the other i m almost completely cut off from the blog o sphere by now occasionally i ll catch up on a blog here or there but i ve not read regularly for ages i m hung up a bit on public radio now but lately i ve felt overwhelmed by the giganticness of the world sucks and the littleness of i can do something about it i spend a lot of time making my avatar in second life look pretty and roleplaying and occasionally snarling about white girls playing black characters who state in character that they find braids exotic exotic i tell you and if i hear one more person wax rhapsodic about how we re in a post racial society i think i might lose my temper no ladies and gentlemen a black president in the us does not make us post bloody racial on a side note w kamau bell is awesome check him out seriously he is hysterical and dr who remains awesome despite portraying the universe as fsking white oldschool dr who dr 4 not the new stuff i ve not been keeping up with posted by deoridhe at 12 12 am no comments labels dr who frantz fanon molefi kete asante race w kamau bell monday october 5 2009 strange fruit billie holiday singing the phrase strange fruit keeps echoing in my head somewhere there is a poem...