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congressman mark foley chairman of the house caucus on missing and exploited children in an im exchange with a sixteen year old boy do i make you a little horny boy a little good posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 3 00 pm 1 comments bertrand russell the trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 11 16 am 0 comments thursday september 21 2006 if i can talk about myself for a minute at the risk of falling into a pool of narcissism i must say that i love this photo it was taken last month when i was down in austin for my friend cody s birthday i love this photo because it isn t a good photo oh it s beautifully shot but it also is an image that shows many things about my appearance that have long made me insecure the thick chin the receding hairline the crooked teeth the bulbous nose the deepening lines around my eyes all are things that i would often try to avoid in a picture where i was trying to impress i m a single gay man who works in the fashion industry for god s sake aren t i supposed to be striving towards a low body fat firm jawed tight bodied perpetually youthful image in this picture my age my weight my round faced thickness all the things that since puberty have alienated me from my own body and made me awkward with my physical nature all the shortcomings that made me jealous of my peers and horribly shy about my own flesh all the things that drove me as an adolescent and young man away from sports and leisure and sex and into a cocoon of books and a cartesian rejection of the body for the life of the mind a false dichotomy that continued without interruption until i was almost thirty all these elements are on display here but in this photo i m blissfully happy i m blissfully happy because i am with real friends i m blissfully happy because i am in a beautiful place i m blissfully happy because i m healthy i m blissfully happy because at a certain point in my life those insecurities started to fall off it started with sex or rather with the desire for sex when i decided to come out i knew that i couldn t continue to neglect my body at first i tried to radically change my self losing weight and spending a lot of spare time in the gym after a few years it was evident to me that i would never be that cliche of fit that floated above los angeles like an imaginary god i was stuck with my white trash native american gene pool with the kind of body that an axe wielding saxon foot soldier would be proud to own so i played to my strengths and started playing rugby i m not a great rugby player i didn t take up the game until i was 31 after all but i loved instantly the sheer almost drug like physical bliss that rose from using my body at it s limit out on the pitch was the first time that the fake wall between my mind and my body tumbled and i felt my two sides come together that analogy that socrates created about human beings searching for the other half we had before the gods split us with their lightning it was like i had found my other half i still have some of the old ghosts haunting me i don t like taking off my shirt at the beach at laguna i m not yet happy with my weight though i m getting there thanks cedars sinai and i still feel like a defendant in the dock every time i step within the city bounds of west hollywood but i don t go to west hollywood that much anymore instead i go to texas and float down a river with my friends instead i hang out with the australians at bars that we pick for the music instead i accept that this is the only body i will ever have lots of burly gay men embrace the label of bear as a way of defining themselves and creating a tribe i don t yeah i m a bear in that i fit the physical requirements i use the term sometimes as shorthand but i also find it incredibly silly i don t need to be part of an exclusionary culture based on fitting a physical type even one that i happen to meet to the t i may be the beariest bear in beartown but in the end i m just me spence the guy in this snapshot either you get it or you don t either way i love this photo posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 1 04 pm 3 comments friday september 15 2006 circling the bowl a letter posted to andrew sullivan that describes how america is now perceived in the world from a grunts eye perspective i was deployed in my reserve unit usmcr as part of operation desert storm and desert shield marine infantry and we were on the front lines supposedly to guard a gunship base but really though the gunships guarded us not too much later it was time to take prisoners one of the platoons went north and when they came back there were stories about how iraqi soldiers lined the roads trying to surrender i spent a week guarding iraqi men in a makeshift prison camp a way station really and more than i could count they didn t look like they were starving or dehydrated apparently once the ground war began they just pitched their weapons and headed south at first opportunity the more i ve thought about it the more i realize that they knew bone deep that they d get fair treatment we gave them mres with the pork entree s removed but almost immediately some special forces guys arrived and set up a real chow line for them we gave each man a blanket i kept an extra as a souvie and i think i saw a special forces doc giving some of them a once over once only once one of them got all irritated and tried to get in one of the corporal s faces loud i was a lance corporal he wouldn t back down so the corporal gave him an adjustment a rifle butt stroke to his gut not hard but he went down the corporal sent me for the medic the guy was ok and now calm or at least understanding the situation and hand signed that he was out of smokes and really really needed one not a bad guy just stressed dumb and needing a smoke none of the others prisoners in the camp even registered it we went north to mop up not long after that i saw the iraqi weapons rocket launchers a little smaller than semi trailers hidden in buildings aks in piles big soviet mortars and anti tank mines everywhere but unarmed they had food too pasteurized milk to drink but most gone bad by then some of the mortar rounds were still in crates they had long trenches that were hard to see in the dunes bunkers with maps fire plans laid out and blankets all placed with decent vantage for command and control they even had wire laid for land line communications the point is they could have fought not won no they couldn t have won but they could have fought instead they chose to surrender looking back i think that one of the main drivers in these men s heads was that they knew absolutely that they d get fair treatment from us the americans we were the good guys the iraqis on the line knew they had an out they had hope so they could just walk away a few did piss themselves when someone told them we were marines go figure still they knew americans would be fair and we were thinking hard on what i now know of history psychology and the meanness of politics that reputation for fairness was damn near unique in world history can you tell me of any major military power that had it ever france no think algeria the uk sorry northern ireland the boxer rebellion in china china or russia i don t think so but america had it if those men had even put up token resistance some of us would not have come back but they didn t even bother and surrendered at least in part because of our reputation our two hundred year old reputation for being fair and humane and decent all the way back to george washington and from president george h w bush all the way down to a lance corporal jarhead at the front its gone now even from me i can t get past that image of the iraqi in the hood with the wires and i m not what you d call a sensitive type you know the picture and now we have a total bust out in the white house and a bunch of rubber stamps in the house trying to make it so that half drowning people isn t torture that hypothermia isn t torture that degradation isn t torture we don t have that reputation for fairness anymore just the opposite i think and the next real enemy we face will fight like only the cornered and desperate fight how many marines lives will be lost in the war ahead just because of this asshole who never once risked anything for this country posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 4 40 pm 0 comments is that a mustache so surging democratic senatorial candidate jim webb of virginia is being haunted by a comment he made 27 years ago referring to female midshipmen at the naval academy as thunder thighs in his defense i used to live in annapolis imagine a steroidal russian power lifter dressed up like an ice cream man and you get a pretty good idea of the average female middie but that s a good thing no who wouldn t want a battle ax like that next to you in a fox hole posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 2 07 pm 0 comments google hearts republicans guess who s standing up for endangered new mexico republican congresswoman heather wilson why it s the company whose motto is don t be evil ehem posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 1 59 pm 0 comments wednesday september 13 2006 homo schaudenfreude stephen laffey writing in a bowdoin college paper in the 80 s i have never once seen a happy homosexual this is not to say there aren t any i simply haven t seen one in my lifetime maybe they are all in the closet all the homosexuals i ve seen are sickly and decrepit their eyes devoid of life stephen laffey failed wingnut senate candidate yesterday um happy much stevie posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 6 16 pm 3 comments tuesday september 12 2006 henry rollins hearts ann coulter as much as i love this i still want to kick henry rollins ass posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 2 39 pm 3 comments the olbermann commentary posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 11 37 am 0 comments monday september 11 2006 seven things democrats should love about the path to 9 11 ok i m gonna play devil s advocate here i caught a lot of inaccuracies in this controversial show and i generally agree that it was a hatchet job but here s a few points about it that to the filmmakers credit democrats could love 1 terrorists hate bill clinton i mean they call him satan and mock execute him if he was so soft on terrorists why did they hate him so much 2 bush s t shirt bush is shown on the morning of september 11th having just finished a run standing in a dorky yellow sweat stained t shirt talking about how this whole day is about education he looks hopelessly out of touch 3 richard clarke is a badass this clinton administration holdover seemed to be about the only dude in the bush administration who had any balls whether it s giving orders on his front porch or rushing to the white house the morning of the attack he certainly comes off better then condi george or dick who appears to be a senile 90 year old in the film 4 colleen rowley is a badass the current democratic congressional candidate from minnesota is the cassandra of terror ringing the bell over moussaoui 5 the bush administration sits on it s hands this is the major theme of the second half of the movie and white house higher ups ignore warnings from the northern alliance and from their own fbi agents doing nothing but infighting while the attack approaches generally the second half is almost as hard on the bushes as the first was on the clintons not quite of course but almost 6 the shot of condi rice holding a report entitled bin laden determined to attack within the united states and sitting at her desk doing nothing 7 probably most damaging of all the coda at the end text at the very end announces that of the 44 recommendations of the 9 11 commission the government i e the bush administration received almost all failing grades last year in the commission s follow up this is a point that democratic politicians have been hammering home and that last bit of text that closed the film could have been written by howard dean s office i bring these points up only because while i generally found the film disingenuous and downright mendacious at points bush didn t give his moment of silence speech until after all the planes had crashed to cite just one example from the last five minutes i also didn t find it to be the blunt instrument of propaganda that i expected it to be i can t stand the administration and i loved olbermann tonight but the greatest sin i saw in path to 9 11 was the cheap cynicism of melodrama oh and the way that abc made it s own reporters out to be heroes that must have been the hook in the pitch meeting for sure posted by leftcoastbreakdown com at 11 57 pm 1 comments kieth olbermann tonight from ground zero half a lifetime ago i worked in this now empty space and for 40 days after the attacks i worked here again trying to make sense of what happened and was yet to happen as a reporter all the time i knew that the very air i breathed contained the remains of thousands of people including four of my friends two in the planes and as i discovered from those missing posters seared still into my soul two more in the towers and i knew too that this was the pyre for hundreds of new york policemen and firemen of whom my family can claim half a dozen or more as our ancestors i belabor this to emphasize that for me this was and is and always shall be personal and anyone who claims that i and others like me are soft or have forgotten the lessons of what happened here is at best a grasping opportunistic dilettante and at worst an idiot whether he is a commentator or a vice president or a president however of all the things those of us who were here five years ago could have forecast of all the nightmares that unfolded before our eyes and the others that unfolded only in our minds none of us could have predicted this five years later this space is still empty five years later there is no memorial to the dead five years later there is no building rising to show with proud defiance that we would not have our america wrung from us by cowards and criminals five years later this country s wound is still open five years later this country s mass grave is still unmarked five years later this is still just a background for a photo op it is beyond shameful at the dedication of the gettysburg memorial barely four months after the last soldier staggered from another pennsylvania field mr lincoln said we cannot dedicate we cannot consecrate we cannot hallow this ground the brave men living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract lincoln used those words to immortalize their sacrifice today our leaders could use those same words to rationalize their reprehensible inaction we cannot dedicate we can not consecrate we can not hallow this ground so we won t instead they bicker and buck pass they thwart private efforts and jostle to claim credit for initiatives that go nowhere ...