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rior to us fully vacating our house in town c when the wife was still living there as she wrapped up her medical residency but i ve made a few since in fact one such visit of mine was made specifically because of her residency each year the hospital holds a mini graduation ceremony for all of its residents giving out graduation certificates to each class as they either pass into a new year of their residency or as in the case with my wife fully graduate and pass into the real world now unlike most graduation ceremonies which tend to be pretty boring affairs these residency ceremonies are great because there s an open bar massively tasty hors d oeuvres beforehand followed by a catered buffet dinner with dessert and then what amounts to about half an hour s worth of award awarding which is usually a pretty fun time because most of the people giving the awards are friends and colleagues and very funny people who know how to make such ceremonies interesting and fun or maybe i ve just been to the open bar one too many times to know otherwise this year s ceremony promised to be very similar only this year the wife was the major honoree when it came to graduating third year residents actually she was the only graduating third year not to mention she s also chief resident so it was even more of a focus on her unfortunately the graduation ceremony fell on june 12 a day i was already committed to being at a conference for a non profit organization i am a member of in another part of the state not only that but this was a conference for which i did the majority of the planning and at which i was obligated to be in order to help get things set up the date had been set in stone for literally the past year the wife wasn t happy that i couldn t get out of it nor was i but she said she understood that that s the way things had rolled as the days went by and the conference date grew closer it occurred to me that it would be the ultimate surprise if i was somehow able to get out of the setup portion of the conference and turn up at the wife s ceremony after all i get so few opportunities to surprise her without her managing to spoil it in advance so i thought this would be a great choice i kept completely mum about it and didn t actually make the final decision on whether or not to pull it off until two days shy of the conference itself for fear of my big mouth letting something slip early the longer i waited though the more i knew it would be gold none of the wife s family was going to be able to come so she would be there alone i knew it had to be done after making arrangements with a trusted colleague to take over my setup duties and with a trusted colleague of the wife s to run interference if need be i officially decided to slip in and surprise the wife on graduation day i snuck out of borderland and hit the road for tri metro i had to head over early to pass some of my setup materials on to someone headed to the conference so afterward i had a few hours to kill before the ceremony kicked in around 6 so i headed over to the liberry the alphabet squad was happy to see me mrs a even had me go around and mark all the shitty shelf ends with tape yet again in preparation for the delivery of the brand new non shitty shelf ends mrs j had already been given instructions not to touch the tape around 5 15 the wife called me on my cell phone to ask how the conference set up was going i told her that it was hectic but going as smooth as could be expected she said she had just arrived at the hotel where the graduation was to be held and was about to start eating shrimp she was real sorry i couldn t be there i told her i wished i was cause i could use some shrimp too we said lovey goodbyes and as soon as i hung up i jumped in the car and zipped over i was already clad in my going to graduation finest and ready to go much liken unto a ninja i snuck into the ballroom to find the wife with her back to me as she spoke with the very colleague i d asked to help i slipped up behind her then almost directly beside her and just stood there smiling holding a bouquet of roses waiting for my presence to be noticed the wife followed her friend s gaze turned saw me made a funny confused expression then realized what i had done and burst into laughter she absolutely had no idea i d been planning it and was for once truly surprised the ceremony was great not only for the food and the open bar which i was unable to partake of as i had a two hour road trip ahead of me still but because much of the night was devoted to the wife it was fantastic to see the respect and love her colleagues and friends in the program have for her and to hear how much she had been a positive influence on the overall direction of the residency program they even gave her an extra award she wasn t expecting for her work with the rural health system which is part of the reason we went to alaska last year it was a great evening but i digress as i said life continues on at the liberry since my departure they ve purchased a new photocopier to replace the devil photocopier we ve had for years they ve also bought a new fax machine to replace the devil fax machine we ve had for years and they ve continued sprucing up the place rather nicely aided i might add by the arrival and installation of the good shelf ends which after a whole year the contractor finally decided to send my vacancy has even been filled with another guy this time a high school student i ll just call mr r who belongs to one of the families of long time beloved patrons all together now me belove you long time who i ve known since i started working at the place in 2001 he s a great choice for the gig and the last time i visited a couple weeks back i saw yet another familiar face behind the circ desk in the form of a seemingly long lost former employee no not ms s or miss e or miss f miss nightranger or even my prediction of miss k instead the long lost employee is miss temp who left our fold for a more lucrative job in a southern state prone to hurricanes i didn t get a chance to talk to her so i don t know why she s back or for how long but mrs a seemed very glad to have someone to plug into the job who was not only already trained but very good at it to begin with evidently i ve left the liberry in good hands and so we bring to a close the tale of the move to the new building naturally there are other stories i could tell about the creation of the new building being as how there was a a lot of politics on both at state and local level that went into it not to mention a handful of people who not only tried to stand in the way but at one point tried to stage an outright coup i ve decided it s probably best not to tell those stories however i ve only been privy to peripheral details in the first place and in the intervening months have forgotten a lot of the solid facts i once did know the way i see it the good guys won the day the bad guys had to suck it and in the end that s all that really matters posted by juice s aaron at 9 16 2008 06 17 00 pm 2 comments labels miss e miss k moving days friday september 12 2008 liberry 2 0 moving days q as the actual move into the new library began i continued to consider whether i would chronicle it after my backlog of material from the old library ran out i suspected that i wouldn t but continued to take notes here and there just in case the trouble was there were no real dramatic beats in the move itself so most of my notes amounted to wow it sure is nice not having any patrons under foot and i can t believe i get paid to come to work in shorts and flip flops and listen to podcasts all day as i shuffle books from shelf to shelf and devise new and revolutionary ways to organize our periodicals section i began to suspect there just wasn t much of a story there i persevered though waiting for the big event to occur you know something that could elicit headlines like d t addled innanet crowd storms liberry astoundingly shitty doors hold instead the best i really managed was dumbass vinyl signage idiots spell mrs c s title assitant director on office door sign i decided that if i was going to step under the beam of scrutiny by announcing that our liberry was moving at a time when various newspapers and television stations around the state were doing stories about that very move most of which wound up on their websites most of which featured me as the liberry spokesperson because everyone else in the damn building runs screaming at the sight of a camera there really ought to be a good story in it and there just wasn t not from that angle at least logic and experience told me that news of the move would likely get out at some point in the meantime i might as well have fun with it and see if i could maybe create another layer of enjoyment for long time readers the plan as i initially conceived and eventually enacted was to let all of the backlog of stories set in the old liberry run out and tie up all the loose ends from what was essentially volume 1 during that time i would be gathering new stories in the new building which i would publish after the old ones ran out the only clue i planned to initially give that something different had occurred was to update the page s look and label the new material as volume 2 and to show you what my backlog was really like even with the three weeks we were closed for the move and the fact that the new place didn t open until late july of 2007 liberry 2 0 still didn t begin until august 15 coincidentally enough i noticed that the old stories were going to run out right around my 1000th post seemed a fitting place to end volume 1 during my gathering of new tales i realized that the geographical differences between the tiny old building and the gigantic new building were going to come into play the fact that we now had essentially five public restrooms and one private one for staff as opposed to the crappy little restroom under the stairs and the oft patron traversed private restroom in mrs a s office of the old building new readers might not notice the inconsistencies in description but i figured long time readers would likely pick up on them i d already adopted a policy of being a bit vague when describing certain aspects of our previous location after being busted by a former employee who recognized the layout but there was no hiding some of the things that were going to come up in the new place sure big ticket items such as elevators kitchens fireplaces and massive new computer facilities could be dropped in sometime down the line but there were less instantly obvious details of the new building s layout that i decided to start layering in immediately throwing new tidbits in every so often until i could begin dropping in larger ones months down the line i figured that sooner or later a reader would call me on something not via telephone hopefully and point out the inconsistencies i would have then had to admit that yes there were some and pose the question of wonder why that is prompting people to do the math perhaps they d think back to the handful of references to the new library project i d made in the past and figure it out of course it seemed just as likely to me that a new reader daring to take the plunge and read all of the back matter of the blog might stumble upon those references and do the math of course another likely possibility was that folks might do the math incorrectly and come to the conclusion that i ve just been making all of this up in the first place as some of my more creative colleagues have done in the past and while i can t say that neither readers old nor new noticed the inconsistencies no one ever called me out on it to be at long last concluded posted by juice s aaron at 9 12 2008 11 02 00 am 3 comments labels moving days tuesday september 09 2008 ed gruberman moving days p as is evidenced by the hundreds of thousands of words that comprise this blog i ve never lacked for material to write about oddly this used to frustrate me in the early days when i was attempting more of a real time blogging structure and would often have so many blogworthy events occur on a given afternoon that running multiple posts for that day seemed the only proper way to handle it eventually though i got over that as in newspapers with my particular blogging subject most of the blogworthy events had a pretty long shelf life and did not have to be posted immediately there was therefore very little reason to blog in real time unless events in my life called for it so i swiftly developed a backlog backblog of material which i was able to parcel out rewrite refine and often discard i ve been able to take entire vacations and continue to post on a week daily basis it was because of this backlog that i had no fear about running out of material during our big move into the new building what i was concerned about was whether or not to mention the move at all when i first began the blog i didn t really care if people who read the blog knew who i was in real life my thought was that anyone local who might not like what i was writing was unlikely to stumble upon the blog but if outsiders traced it back what did it really matter i even used the real last name of the now pseudonymous fagin family for a very long time claiming i didn t care if they found it because we had so much dirt on them that they d never dare sue and by and large this was not a problem for me for the first couple of years of the blog as the old saying goes though it only takes one bad asshole to spoil the bushel this being the internet of course the assholes did not come in single servings keep in mind when i say assholes i m not talking about readers who ve disagreed with me who don t like the blog in the first place who think i m whining and aren t afraid to tell me in the comments or in an email that kind of thing comes with the territory and i ve always made it a point to publish such negative comments and to address issues made via the occasional negative email i ve received no the assholes i m talking about are those souls who have seen their way fit to drop pebbles into the pond of my real life there have been quite a few of them and until this moment i ve made it standard operating procedure not to mention their assholery because it seems unwise to give such behavior publicity however just as a for instance i will now break that rule twice instance 1 a gentleman phoned my liberry workplace asked a co worker of mine if he could speak to me using my real name and when i came to the phone he screamed this is mr stanky i love your blog at the top of his lungs then he hung up and with all the similar assholes i ve dealt with the level creativity never has never risen above the bar set by this guy instance 2 this one was not so much an asshole as someone behaving unwisely i received a phone call again at work again using my real name from a lady who claimed to be calling from another s...