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loudaisy loudaisy the purpose to life is to live it to taste experience to the utmost to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences eleanor roosevelt sunday june 21 2015 guilt 7 11 writing i miss it i feel guilt for not doing it which is the emotion that runs my life i strive to let me be and know i am doing my best that guilt likes to claw and slither it s way past my defenses it keeps me awake thinking of every angle i have joy and delight so lucky my children are growing i look at them closely trying to memorize them at this part of their existence i know how fleeting each stage is and how much they change in such a short time they are 7 11 now and they find it hilarious that they have a store sofia asked me the other day how when she was in my belly that we knew she was a girl so that started a discussion on boy and girl parts we ended up looking at her ultrasound pictures oh my that girl was and is so very beautiful she is curious about everything and always has so many questions and is delighted with the answers she makes up songs and sings all the time the other night we had a girl date and we had a picnic of chick fila at the park and she went up on a hill and did 5 shows for me this is where she dances and sings on the stage apparently i am crazy on girl dates it is one of the reasons she loves me noah is striving to be grown up and responsible but clings to being young and protected he acts all strong and tough helping out and not complaining and rare and beautiful moments of curling up and getting comforts i adore our talks that now have substance i chuckle at his put up with life sighs that come so much more frequent his patience with his sister is shorter but he plays stuffed animals with her for hours still and helps create elaborate games for their imagination he really is a brilliant boy posted by laurie at 10 08 pm no comments wednesday november 12 2014 gain and loss i had to change my life a year ago i took charge and changed my life and made things better harder more hectic a bit stressful but safer and less worry i only get a fourth of everything i need to get done i disappoint myself my spouse my children more than i would like to admit i stumble i fall i lift up again and keep going one more day one more hour and one more minute if possible i had to do this i had to be strong and better for my little family life throws things at you and with it come so many amazing miracles and losses people i never would have thought ever now won t talk won t listen and betray behind my back with sweetness to my face important irreplaceable people who i thought were kindred souls why why why do i hang on to the people i love i forgive and forgive them their little trespasses i try to be honest i thought it went both ways my life is different my heart is the same be honest i am trying i just hurts posted by laurie at 2 19 pm no comments tuesday may 14 2013 everyone needs a voice this boy did not have a voice he always made noise he cooed and cried as an infant he hummed and tapped to music he grunted pointed and made his needs known his lungs screamed with outrage if he felt that something was unjust the background noise of my life has been the sound effects of fighting bad guys since before i can remember there is not doubt that this boy my boy communicated his voice his words his stories could not be heard they were trapped inside his brain and they could not get out they banged and pushed and fought there way to the surface just to be misunderstood and thought gibberish oh the frustration the tantrums and the tears both mine and his everyone needs a voice this creative imaginative hardworking sweet boy pulled his weapons out and conquered through the fog grime muck and tears fighting to retrain the way his words sounded to others he learned that working hard at something is invaluable that often he is the only one who can change his destiny learning empathy along the way that everyone has something they are fighting everyone has a trial that makes them work throw their hands up in frustration and that makes them cry because of this he is more understanding and tolerant of those hard things in those around him my boy has a voice now his voice has not come easily he works everyday to keep that voice so people can better understand him and he can be heard the road is still stretching out before him and for the rest of his life his voice will be heard each word fighting and clawing it s way to the surface may 14th is the first annual national appraxia awareness day please were blue and white and join us in recognizing this day speak up for the children who cannot speak for themselves every child deserves a voice posted by laurie at 8 30 am no comments monday may 13 2013 fragile humanity events in my recent past and present keep reminding me of our fragile human state how the existence of our human body and soul sit on the brink of tilting and putting us on a course so different than we ever imagined in an instant our world can shatter into a million tiny shards of glass that poke and probe where you don t want them but shimmer shine and reflect for a beauty you cannot compare our human body of flesh blood muscles and bones are fed by our blood the heart keeps pumping in rhythm nourishing and healing one little cell at a time it can jolt your senses and disturb your sensibilities to a place beyond constant to become better knitting pieces together to create a whole it amazes me what our bodies can withstand god has made us so that our humanness will make us stronger it will remind us of who our maker is test us beyond our own abilities so that we will learn to call on him to make us whole again and only through him can we be whole again my human body has been through a lot more than most but not as much as some it resilience amazes me it s fragility terrifies me it s constant fight astounds me all the mechanisms simultaneously moving to heal pushing and thriving to push forward it never does what is expected of it for good or ill it does what it wants always pulling through in the end even if the fight is long and difficult pushing the endurance of not only myself but of the people i love best it keeps on fighting through the muck i wonder often of why the human spirit does not crash and burn in us and others as they continue on in the battles they are meant to fight i am reminded of how strong we must have been and still are that we won t give in easily that change is the only constant in life other than our loving father in heaven he never leaves us he know how we feel what is happening and how we will survive it if we lose a piece of any of us along the way we will be stronger and more whole on the other side of the battle field posted by laurie at 8 56 pm no comments wednesday september 05 2012 sofia second year of preschool the air is electric with excitement after waiting a full week after noah started school sofia finally gets to go to the magical teacher pat again sofia is a girl in motion so happy to go to school again when sofia awakes in the morning to cope with the day she turns into a puppy today her name was rainbow sparkles she has to wear puppy ears to school and we had to wear a bit of makeup it is a special day after all mollie sofia and myka ready for school sofia sitting on the rug with her girls from school i know she will have a magnificent day it is time to be back on a schedule posted by laurie at 10 14 am no comments labels sofia tuesday august 28 2012 noah the 3rd grader another school year begins for my so grown up boy noah wow i can t believe he is in 3rd grade here is his silly picture they received space glasses so they are prepared to explore new things this year his teacher this year is ms brynn he was super excited he did not want me to call his friends to see what class they were in so he would not have time to be sad if they were in another class and most of them are in a different class don t worry mom i will be fine i know i was more worried than he is and was posted by laurie at 10 19 am no comments saturday june 30 2012 cub country now that noah is eight he has started cub scouts and is now a wolf he had his first cub country scout camp june 29 30 this is him on his way luckily his good friend ry from across the street went with him and they had a blast kersten s family has a tradition for the boys to get their first pocket knife when becoming a scout noah sure felt big we told him the story of when uncle j got his first knife he cut himself we had good laugh over that one his first day was at super hero camp they got to shoot bb guns and go on an obstacle course one of the counselors did a skit about the hulk that made the boys laugh a lot he came home filthy and tired and super happy the second day was at jurassic park they learned a lot and he said it was more learning instead of doing the did get to shoot a bow and arrow and learn about bones which are fascinating again he came home dirty tired and talkative kersten was amazed at the dirt on this boy when he arrived home that we took pictures and his feet had socks on noah says he definitely loves being a scout and is glad he is old enough to go now i still can t believe my boy is so grown up posted by laurie at 2 50 pm no comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me laurie i am a stay at home mom that loves the craziness of being with my boy and girl he is my joy and miracle and makes my life a marvel my mischief girl t has brought pink and sweet into our life i have to be creative to breath and constantly have several projects in various stages i adore my husband he is my perfect match i love being crazy happy and a bit zany view my complete profile this i know my sweet little family my miracle children noah lawrence our jedi super hero and warrior sofia caroline our tweet ums and little princess my one true love currently reading our current read a loud 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