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been gathered from other women s experiences or from my own experiences in previous failed relationships my own dearest darling husband is of course guilty of none of the above well maybe just the odd one here and there anything you d like to add from your own observations posted by mean mom at 9 04 pm 21 comments labels humour men men s characteristics problems with men things men mean things men say thursday 16 april 2009 the ideal home it s been 23 years since my husband and i last moved house but when my eldest son left home last summer it suddenly occurred to me that we were entering a different phase in our lives and it was possible that in a very short time we could once more be enjoying the dubious pleasures of house hunting we haven t made a habit of moving house since our marriage in 1976 and when we were looking for our first property we didn t have many requirements we were both living and working in the midlands before we married so our choice was limited to something we could afford and which was within reasonable travelling distance of our places of work we finally found an old bungalow which needed a fair amount of modernisation but we lived there happily enough until my husband was promoted 4 years later when we were obliged to move a bit further south we were a little more discerning when we were searching for our second property it was difficult to find the sort of house we wanted however at a price we could afford because we were moving into a more expensive area on this occasion we were again looking for an older detached property but with 3 bedrooms and a decent sized garden in a village location preferably with fields beyond after endless searching we eventually bought a neglected baptist manse which met most of our needs but required a lot of repair work before we could move in our mortgage payments doubled in size as a result of buying the property and we spent a lot of money on renovations during the 6 years that we lived there our 2 eldest sons were born during the first 5 years that we spent in the house but by the time middle son was 12 months old i had set my sights on moving to a nearby country town i had tired of village life feeling that the whole family would benefit greatly from the wider range of activities and facilities available in a small town this time we were looking for a more modern detached family home with as much space as we could afford we were aiming for 3 receptions fitted kitchen cloakroom one en suite bedroom 3 further bedrooms a family bathroom double garage and a front and rear garden when we finally managed to buy the house we had set our hearts on we stayed put and for the last 23 years our home has truly been ideal i shall be sad to leave the house where we have raised our family and made so many memories but it will be too large for us once the rest of our family has moved out rendering the running and maintenance costs disproportionate for just 2 people our requirements for our next ideal home will be vastly different from the last we don t yet feel ready to consider a complex for the over 55s with house manager communal gardens on site laundry security door entry system and emergency call facility we will however almost definitely be seeking out either a 2 bedroomed bungalow or a house boasting a ready fitted stannah stair lift and a downstairs toilet a walk in shower room will be an absolute necessity as will extra large windows to the front of the house so that i can keep an eye on local goings on from behind my nets a courtyard style garden no bigger than a postage stamp will also be high on our list of priorities plus a garage big enough to house 2 mobility scooters or one mobility scooter with sidecar does anyone manufacture those that s a missed business opportunity isn t it the position of the house will be much more important this time views from the front of the property will hopefully include a pedestrian crossing a couple of bus stops and a double decker bus at regular intervals of no less than 10 minutes in each direction views to the rear should include the local health centre and hospital which needs to be no more than 2 streets away the house should be within easy reach of an extensive range of amenities such as the co op boots specsavers the post office the library an nhs dentist ok now you know that i m winding you up a hearing aid centre a shampoo and set a hostelry and the crematorium we won t be considering any property which stands at the top of a hill at this juncture of our lives as we feel that it would be too problematical whilst we feel sure that the trip down to the cock and bull on our mobility scooters would be a speedy delight the return journey after one snowball too many could be meandering and tedious in the extreme particularly if we roll down the other side of the hill before i ve managed to retrieve the front door key from the bottom of my capacious shopper and insert it carefully into the lock finally there is just one more requirement for our next ideal home which i haven t yet mentioned it simply must be within easy tottering distance of a cash machine due to the fact that i am seriously looking forward to spending my children s inheritance posted by mean mom at 4 46 pm 17 comments labels changing needs of the elderly changing needs of the middle aged downsizing humour moving house retirement properties the perfect house the right move saturday 4 april 2009 a difficult choice doc didn t c me bt saw nurse insted they already given me usual injection 4 bloodclots 1 that have been havin al wk but he asked em giv me notha 1 much stronga so just had that gdnite mum sleep wel love middle son x i deciphered my 23 year old son s text speak with a frown instead of my usual wry smile it was 10 30 on a saturday evening in the third week of march and i was concerned about my middle son who had been admitted to the trauma unit of the local hospital almost a week ago i wondered what the stronger injection could be perhaps one of the hospital doctors had finally taken the initiative to administer some treatment for the suspected blood clot in my son s right calf instead of waiting for the results of an ultrasound scan which wouldn t take place until monday there was no doubt that my middle son s pain had worsened since the scan had been requested on friday morning so it would surely have been a logical step to take half an hour later i lay in bed on my back my novel discarded on the bedside table staring at a 3 stranded cobweb which had formed between the ceiling and the light shade i mulled over the events of the past few weeks not yet ready to turn out the light and settle down to sleep 4 weeks previously my 84 year old father had been admitted into hospital at short notice to have his right hip replaced i had travelled up to my parents house in the midlands the day before he was admitted so that i could look after my mother whilst my father was away she was unable to manage alone due to her failing sight and occasional confusion after the operation my father had suffered from low blood pressure and his wound had been slow to heal so he had spent 3 weeks in hospital altogether the saturday before my father s discharge my husband had travelled up to my parents house to stay the night and at 6 40 am on the sunday morning our peaceful sleep had suddenly been disturbed by a telephone call from our middle son to let us know that he was in a e awaiting an x ray because of a suspected broken leg by mid afternoon one of the hospital doctors had decided that middle son needed to have an operation the following day and would have to stay in hospital for at least a week shortly after hearing the news my husband had left for the hospital whilst i had remained with my mother so my only contact with my son over the next few days had been by text my father had been discharged from hospital the next day and after a kind offer from student son to take over my duties at my parents house for a few days i had finally been able to visit my middle son on the wednesday after his admission into hospital in fact after visiting my son and seeing his x ray i had felt much worse i had realised that my family hadn t fully disclosed the extent of the damage to my middle son s leg and it had occurred to me for the first time that he might not regain full use of it i had become even more upset the following evening when my son had found himself inexplicably suffering increasing and unbearable pain in his broken leg i returned to the present once more my gaze falling upon my bag packed and ready by the side of the bed in case i needed to stay with my parents for a further week after our mother s day visit the next day i hoped that it wouldn t be necessary but i needed to assess the situation once we arrived and to check with my student son to see how well my parents had coped whilst he had been staying with them i sighed reaching out for my book once more succeeding this time in concentrating upon the plot long enough for my eyelids to grow heavy with sleep mother s day was a rather odd occasion in the circumstances i saw none of my sons in the morning my eldest son and his girlfriend had visited the previous day as my husband and i were anticipating a hectic mother s day visiting our relatives in different parts of the country we intended to have lunch with my mother in law and my husband s family in staffordshire and then an evening meal with my parents in the west midlands my husband rang the hospital before we set off to enquire about middle son s condition and the sister confirmed that the stronger injections being administered to him were clot busting injections so we felt relieved that some action was finally being taken to try and deal with the problem in his calf we spent a couple of hours with my husband s family and then continued to my parents house as planned my father was feeling very relieved to be without pain for the first time in 2 1 2 years his wound had almost healed and he had managed a visit to the local supermarket without any major problem student son reported that he felt that my mother and father were managing well and would be able to cope by themselves when i told my parents that i was willing to stay another week if they needed me i could see that my mother would have preferred me to stay although she stipulated that i should return home so that i could be near to my middle son after a hurried meal with my parents i helped to load student son s belongings into the car with a heavy heart i had decided to return home but it had been a very difficult decision to make i knew that my mother had become used to having me around and that she would miss my company and support when everything was packed away in the car we said our goodbyes the slamming of the car doors confirming the finality of my decision when we reached the main road i leaned out of the window and caught one last glimpse of my parents framed in their front doorway illuminated by the light behind them i raised my hand as we headed off into the night weeping silently under cover of the darkness because of the decision i d had to make posted by mean mom at 8 56 pm 24 comments labels broken leg elderly parents families responsibilities sons thursday 19 february 2009 a foolproof guide to repelling girls warning to all bloggers keep a bucket handy whilst reading this post it s fair to say that i kissed a few frogs in my teenage years before meeting my prince in my early 20s during the extensive search for my other half i learnt a few things about the male sex and their habits and it recently occurred to me that i could draw up a modern day list for my 3 sons which could help them to avoid a few of the common pitfalls in their own search for true love i thought that my advice might be better heeded if i used the title above and presented it as below if you arrange to go out with a girl do it well in advance and don t shower any later than 7 days before you re due to meet up if you cleaned your teeth after breakfast don t clean them again prior to meeting up with a girl in the evening as this could neutralise the effects of the raw onion salad with garlic mayo which you ate for lunch whenever you go out with a girl don t bother changing the clean clothes you put on 2 weeks ago they should be just rank enough for her to notice always make sure that you pick something if you re in the company of a girl such as your nose ears teeth or scabs in fact pick everything it s best never go to the gents if you have itchy unmentionables whilst you are out with a girl instead produce your gentleman s ball scratcher pictured above with a flourish and proceed to push it down the front of your trousers with unnecessary enthusiasm accompanied by an ecstatic expression when in the pub with a girl ensure that you overindulge to the extent that you a barf all over the bar when ordering the next round or b pick a fight with the only chap in the pub who s built like a brick s thouse or c forget which girl you came in with and go home with someone else it is possible to repel your girlfriend early on in your relationship by showing her your collection of scabs toe nail clippings railway magazines bus tickets and kit kat wrappers if you re having a night in with your girlfriend and she attempts to speak to you only drag your eyes away from the xbox for a nanosecond because those aliens can tell when you re not concentrating you know mention putting out as often as possible when in conversation with your girlfriend all girls need to know that characters like those appearing in american pie and superbad were not fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead was not purely coincidental always blow your nose with enthusiasm try to sound as if you re in danger of dispelling your brains out of your ears open up your man sized tissue afterwards and carefully examine any debris there s always a chance that you ll discover something you thought was lost forever eat as much crap as possible whenever you re with your girlfriend try donner kebabs or chips with cheese and curry sauce if that fails dip anything and everything in hellmann s mayo if you burp whilst in the presence of your girlfriend never excuse yourself politely in fact make sure that you furnish her with far too much information by screwing up your face and following up with ugh that was a sick burp never break off a kiss just because you feel the need to burp you may need to think about that one for a second or 2 never mince outside or to the gents if you feel the need to let one go whilst with your girlfriend instead raise one leg and one arse cheek emit a loud trumpeting sound laugh like a maniac and say something similar to ah can you smell that or aw that was a wet one or ugh i think i ve followed through follow these guidelines to the letter if you want to live with mommy and daddy forever and ever and ever posted by mean mom...