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Text of the page (random words):
nts 15 3 18 being both 2 52 pm solat macam mana sorang tu tak solat langsung the other one said die solat tapi die qadha she said her uncle said it s okay to qadha solat everyday astaghfirullah it was pretty much a little conversation i had with my sister about her circle of friends and we re only talking about a bunch of girls what about the community our country and the world as a whole one can only wonder so i continued this conversation with my husband in the car pretty much lamenting how scary the world is nowadays because solat is the pillar of islam and yet so many muslims are taking them lightly so much so that even seeing people who don t perform solat doesn t seem that big of a deal anymore astaghfirullah may allah protects but my husband shared his two cents about malaysian muslims he says there are two groups of people one group who are very nice people but they just don t adhere much to allah s rules taking some and leaving some modest clothing not really keen to cover the hair but totally a soft well mannered lady not praying 5 times a day but is actively doing charity work goes clubbing at night perhaps drinking some alcohol but spends a lot of time helping the poor and the needy by definition of human nature they are nice people and they go about feeling bliss with being the good human the other group are those who adhere totally to allah s rules but they are just not that nice you know sometimes the ustaz we see on youtube who are calling other people bodoh sombong bongkak and every other dirty words he could think of those who totally cover their aurah from top to bottom but go about sleeping with random boys in the end those who pray 5 times a day and yet doesn t have the decency to throw rubbish at the rightful place those wearing serban or kopiah 24 7 but is also smoking 24 7 huffing and puffing in front of their kids them by definition are practicing muslims they pray they fast they avoid haram food they cover their aurah and they go about feeling bliss with being the good muslim and these two groups are what makes up most of our muslim community in malaysia the ones who settled with being nice and the ones who settled with being a practicing muslim but the truth is a true muslim needs both hand in hand one is never complete without the other being a nice person is not enough if we fail to adhere to allah s commands stop lying to ourselves that it s okay to not wear a hijab or it s okay to show some skin it s okay to touch our non mahram friends when they are all clear commands from allah and those things will be accountable for in our akhirah but we now live in the world where those who reminds are being chastised instead awak bukan baik sangat allah tengok keikhlasan hati jangan judge orang lain die buat banyak lagi benda baik the list goes on and vice versa for the other end adhering to allah s rule but not all avoiding all those big sins pray 5 times a day fasting in ramadhan paying your zakat but taking those smaller sins for granted going to work late making empty promises talking bad about others writing harsh words over the net spreading fitnah gossiping and the list goes on being a muslim is about building your relationship with allah and it entails adhering to his commandments in all aspect of life picking some and leaving some is not the way to him being a better person requires us to be a good abid as well as a good human being yes nobody is perfect aside from rasulullah s a w but aiming to perfect our iman and amal is not impossible as it s an ongoing process we may never be a perfect muslim but allah takes effort into account istiqamah is always the key and this effort requires us to be in both groups of people not either so stop choosing sides and try to be both one who are loved by other people and most importantly loved by allah s w t وَلِكُلٍّ وِّجۡهَةٌ هُوَ مُوَلِّيۡهَا ۚ فَاسۡتَبِقُوا الۡخَيۡرٰتِؕ اَيۡنَ مَا تَكُوۡنُوۡا يَاۡتِ بِكُمُ اللّٰهُ جَمِيۡعًا ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ عَلٰى كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ قَدِيۡرٌ dan bagi tiap tiap umat ada arah kiblatnya sendiri yang mereka menghadap ke arahnya ketika solat oleh itu berlumba lumbalah kamu mengerjakan kebaikan kerana di mana sahaja kamu berada pasti allah akan menghimpunkan kamu semua pada hari kiamat untuk menerima balasan sesungguhnya allah maha berkuasa atas tiap tiap sesuatu 2 148 0 chocomments 1 2 18 coping moving forward 6 05 pm بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ i d be writing some entries in coping perhaps as my way to cope with our new journey perhaps as my way to ask for some du a from anyone who stumbles into any of my entries perhaps as a reminder for my future self of how allah has guided us from the very beginning just perhaps linked in my last entry abah kama was transferred to a general ward and he was showing very minimal response we were unsure of what would become but in allah s plans we trust whatever it may be a nd his plans enfolds smoothly for the weeks after alhamdulillah abah kama was initially transferred to a district hospital whereby my mother in law decided that it s best if he stayed in the palliative ward for comfort he stayed there for a couple of weeks and eventually was discharged home how is he alhamdulillah abah kama is awake he responds with nods and shakes back then nowadays he tried mouthing some one word answers whenever he can his movements are very much limited as he hasn t gain much control over his muscles yet but he has a bit of strength around his neck muscles on and off ma is the main caretaker now along with the help of our little sister who s at home with ma we managed to set the house for abah s home coming a week prior and with the help of abah and mama we bought abah kama a good hospital bed a week after he came home the nearest clinic has a team who would come by once a week to monitor his progress alhamdulillah sometimes bringing in medicines or looking for any wounds on him some things that we might have taken for granted had we not experience these ourselves since my husband and i could only come back during weekends those medical team coming over during the weekdays does eases our minds a bit to be honest we have a lot on our plate now and sometimes it can be overwhelming for the both of us but we tried our best by encouraging each other in those moments that we need not worry that we could go through this well if we re in it together aizzat is doing well alhamdulillah his free time is spent at the local clinics now finding some extra hours of work to cover the medical expenses and two full households be strong honey facing all these makes us very humbled and grateful that despite everything allah has eases us more than we could ever imagine we still have a home to come back to food on the table and families around us that support us alhamdulillah nevertheless we still have a long way to go we re not sure yet where this is all heading and what the future holds for us but we re taking small steps at a time insyaallah may allah eases this journey through and through but perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you and allah knows while you know not 2 216 allah swt knows the reality of everything while man s knowledge is limited we assess things on the basis of our limited knowledge and often make wrong decisions we must pray that allah swt bless us with both hikmah wisdom and rushd deeper understanding with guidance so that we do not decide on things being good or bad as prompted by personal desires rather by the wisdom of allah swt if we learn this art we will block the way of shaytan who tries to instill doubts and negative thoughts in our minds 0 chocomments 19 12 17 coping life passes 1 50 pm linked i d be writing some entries in coping perhaps as my way to cope with our new journey perhaps as my way to ask for some du a from anyone who stumbles into any of my entries perhaps as a reminder for my future self of how allah has guided us from the very beginning just perhaps day 30 it s been a month since the day my father in law abah fell sick how time flies we never thought we could pass those days but we did that s somehow the beauty of life or perhaps the scary part of it that no matter how scared you are time shall pass you by that moment shall pass you by what is meant for you shall pass you by abah has been transferred to the general ward last night he was in the intensive care unit icu for a good 3 weeks before being brought to the high dependency ward hdw basically the difference between these wards is how abah is taken care of in both icu and hdw families are not allowed to stay with the patients nurses spent most time tendering to abah all those regular feeding suctioning and so on hence ma mother in law and abby little sister in law has been playing the major role of visiting abah on a daily basis we found a small inn near the hospital for them to stay at because there is nobody to drive them to the hospital while we are at work and they have been walking back and forth for a 30 minutes walk daily for almost a month now aizzat and i could only accompany them during weekends bringing them to my parent s house to stay at my other little sister in law has been trying to come back on weekends too from her university everyone is trying their best and trying their hard to be with one another everyone has been strong through and through alhamdulillah i pray allah keep us all this way for the rest of our journey insyaallah stroke somehow i see this diagnosis differently nowadays almost a mysterious disease for i can never tell what is truly going on sometimes abah opened his left eye ever so slowly when we talk to him when we called his name he used to shed a tear even when his eyes were closed when we tell him encouraging words when we told him abby scored her pt3 and wants to do her best for her next exams then there were times when abah seems too restless or agitated those were the days when he was constantly put on sedatives because his movements became too aggressive at times causing his mouth to bleed as he bites his inner cheek too much even causing his iv lines to come off during these time it hurts us the most because we cannot figure out what is happening is it just the stroke is it abah trying to fight his own body that is out of his control is abah in pain allahua lam abah has gone through a lot in the icu he was always on antibiotics from all the bugs in the ward something that we have expected in prolonged hospital stay his heart was also beating furiously for days atrial fibrillation is what we name it we try to not look into those vital signs too much when we visit him nowadays abah looked much calmer almost too calm no longer any tears movements are too subtle are you sleeping abah too tired to respond to us calling you everytime we visit at times like this i try not to ask abah of anything we d just massage his arms put lotion all over his body rub vaseline on his parched lips we don t want to disturb your rest for too long but deep down this scares us the most when you are lying there so silently ma asked often is abah there is he alert of his surroundings our answers are pretty much the same since the beginning we don t know only allah knows thinking of abah s laughs and smiles sometimes all i wish for is that this sickness is just a test for us those who are left behind and not for abah that abah is somehow in a different dimension resting well even if he hears us he is listening from a better place not from the hospital bed not through those beeping sounds around him i hope that abah doesn t feel lonely and he is not struggling to fight his own body that he is resting well because he deserves it the most for someone who has worked hard all his life and yet never forget to be thankful and to always smile that is our abah kama but in allah s plans we trust whatever it may be إِن يَنصُرْكُمُ اللّهُ فَلاَ غَالِبَ لَكُمْ وَإِن يَخْذُلْكُمْ فَمَن ذَا الَّذِي يَنصُرُكُم مِّن بَعْدِهِ وَعَلَى اللّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكِّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ if allah helps you no one can overcome you and if he did not help you who is there after him who can help you and in allah alone let believers put their trust 3 160 1 chocomments 6 12 17 coping 19th november 1 37 pm image link i d be writing some entries in coping perhaps as my way to cope with our new journey perhaps as my way to ask for some du a from anyone who stumbles into any of my entries perhaps as a reminder for my future self of how allah has guided us from the very beginning just perhaps what allah has granted us in life recently is only a small bit if i were to compare it with what others are facing but to each and everyone their own journey and here is ours when you re a doctor you re always on the other side of the curtain you see deaths sickness and sadness in the hospitals but because you re at work and both your brain and your body needs to function you detach yourself from whatever you see or feel fleeting moments of reflections and then they disappeared but allah has decided for aizzat and me to now be the doctors behind those curtains where we waited patiently for the updates where we are waiting patiently beside abah s bed holding his still hands accompanied by the beeping of his vitals where we are the ones following abah being pushed into icu where we are now the family who are sitting at the sofa area meant to be the place of breaking bad news we are now a part of the sickness a part of the sadness my father in law abah kama aizzat s loving stepdad since he was six got a stroke about 2 weeks ago day 18 to be exact it was early sunday morning i was about to step out of the car when i heard ma s frantic call to aizzat i could hear her crying you felt that shiver but aizzat asked me to go ahead for work the day went by not being able to focus well during my course it was all well initially just a small stroke aizzat sounded fine during lunch my parents dropped by the hospital too to visit abah then that short phone call from aizzat his cracked voice abah tak sedar diorang nak intubate i wanted to be with him there and then that s all i could think of alhamdulillah for my parents who drove all the way to pick me up from besut it was already 11pm when i saw aizzat sitting tiredly beside abah s bed my cheerful abah now lying there on the hospital bed the news kept becoming bigger and heavier when the medical doctor came telling us shortly about a possible bleed and burr hole surgery simply put just as we were about to cope with the news he gave us another big blow conservative treatment abah will be sent to the icu to be honest i wondered if we weren t medical doctors we wouldn t have a single clue of what has been told what the plan was and why the sudden cancellation it was all too fast all too complicated to comprehend in that short time only a few hours into the day but our lives were already making so much turns aizzat looked so spent and yet so calm too calm he eve...